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Archive for October 14th, 2009

Over at Townhall, Jillian Bandes has applied her little gray cells to the Mystery of the Hidden Salami, and has deduced that the mastermind behind the recent crimewave of male infidelity is Susan B. Anthony!  And just who is Jillian Bandes you may ask, and why is she trying to pin David Letterman’s misplaced penis on The Feminine Mystique?  Let’s have her tell you in her own words:

Jillian Bandes is the National Political Reporter for Townhall.com. Jillian Bandes was most recently an assistant editor and blogger at Culture11, and had stints at the Weekly Standard and Roll Call newspaper. Jillian Bandes has been a freelancer for various publications, including the St. Petersburg Times, Human Events, the American Spectator and the North Carolina Conservative.

So basically, she’s Batman with a vagina and a distaste for the 19th Amendment.

Bandes.jpg Are the Women Behind Political Sex Scandals Actually Blameworthy?

Well, that’s a good question.  Okay, it’s actually not, since no reasonable person would regard the wronged spouse in a high profile case of adultery as “blameworthy,” but what the hell.  Let’s pass her the balls and see how she runs with ‘em.

The explanations of many political scandals that involve sexual affairs invariably involve men – rather than women – committing a breach of marriage, morals, common decency or some combination thereof. Nevada Sen. John Ensign, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, and Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons are recent examples.

However, as any mystery fan can tell you, it’s never the obvious suspect who turns out to be the guilty party.

But some conservative women say that men aren’t the only ones to blame.

I bet you didn’t see that twist coming.

“The feminist movement has always supported all kinds of free sex,” said Phylis Schafly, President of the Eagle Forum and someone many consider to be the original “anti-feminist.” She said that animosity many feminists have for sexual relationships remaining inside the commitment of marriage is part of the reason these affairs have occurred.

Ideally your wife would like you to respect her as a partner and as an individual in her own right; to equitably divide the labor involved in maintaining a household, and to support the political and social issues important to her as a working woman, such as family leave, and pay equity.  And she’d really appreciate it if you’d cheat on her.

“Feminists have worked hard to eliminate the specific benefits of marriage, and particularly, of the full-time homemaker… they have encouraged very loose morals about sex,” she said.

Not to mention their rolled stockings, and bobbed hair!  Smoking cigarettes!  And dancing the Charleston to all hours in speakeasies and road houses!

Schafly blames sex education in a post-feminist world for removing the blame of women from the narrative of an affair.

Remember, if you teach children about the human reproductive system, there’s a very real chance they could lose their natural instinct for scapegoating.

“It’s certainly the fault of the man. But no one is really telling the woman that they should ‘just say no,’ or that they shouldn’t have sex until they’re married,” she said.

I’m not quite certain how that works if you’re already married, and your husband is having sex with someone else, but I’m sure anti-feminism has the answers.

Recent sexual misconduct, such as that publicized through David Letterman or Roman Polanski, have placed even more emphasis on men’s debasement of women.

Because you know, raping a child and fooling around with someone at work is all the same to those floozies at NOW.

Gov. Sanford proclaimed his love for his lover instead of his wife on national television.

Well, to be fair, he did say he was trying to fall back in love with his wife, if she’d just stop having such animosity for sexual relationships inside the commitment of marriage.

Continued blackmail by his lover’s husband has put Sen. Ensign’s potential ethics violations at the forefront of the story while sidelining the crime of infidelity.

Yes, it’s a shame how his corruption and influence peddling are distracting people from his Class B Felony conviction for fornication.

But that doesn’t translate into sexism, said Carrie Lukas, Vice President for Policy and Economics at the Independent Women’s Forum. “We have a cultural problem that has created so many David Letterman or Ensign or John Edward type situations,” said Lukas. “We all need to consider how to create a culture that creates greater respect for women, and for marriage, for that matter so that scandals in which women are used and abused aren’t commonplace like they are today.”?? ??

WTF punctuation marks in the original.

Marji Ross, President and Publisher of Regnery Publishing, had similar thoughts…“Women from all political stripes can be successful in business, in their careers, in life, in however they define their success,” said Ross. “I don’t think radical feminists have done anything to protect women from those kinds of crimes.”

A woman’s success in business and career is a crime?

In other words

Some other words would be helpful.

insisting that pointing at men as the perpetrators of sexual indiscretions are a convenient excuse for behavior that actually reflects the degradation of society as a whole.

Your wandering foreskin has doomed us all.

Dawn Eden, author of The Thrill Of The Chaste

…and the NY Times bestseller Hi Men! I’ve Got a Hymen!

…points the knife even more directly at feminists

Fortunately, her chastity belt chafes pretty badly, so we can probably outrun her if she gets violent.

saying that they are directly responsible for the way women are portrayed.  “I would say that feminism actually creates the problem with the men’s having affairs… because if feminists hadn’t pushed for the Pill, other forms of contraception, abortion, and the morning-after pill as ‘sexual freedom,’ it would be much harder for men to get away with affairs.”

Infidelity was virtually unknown in this country before 1961, and on those rare occasions when a man did stray and an illicit pregnancy ensued, he would invariably do the honorable thing and smack her in the head with his camera, then throw her out of the canoe and watch her drown.

I Am The GOP

Posted by scott on October 14th, 2009

In the spirit of bipartisanship, MarcT was kind enough to send us another example of the new GOP.com, this one drawn from their “Heroes” section:

You can already feel the remorseless engorgement of the Big Tent.