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Archive for October 20th, 2009

A Hobo Stew of Freedom

Posted by scott on October 20th, 2009

DickMorris.jpgOver at Newsmax, Dick Morris — kingmaker, foot fellator, and Fox News Talking Frightmask — challenges recent slurs upon the integrity of Fox News, by citing a poll which suggests the Republican-leaning network is also watched by independents and Democrats.  I’m not sure how this claim is supposed to refute White House official Anita Dunn’s allegation that Fox is “opinion journalism masquerading as news,” since she questioned the objectivity of their reporters, not their customers.  During the heyday of the traveling carnival, a similar mix of people undoubtedly thronged the midway to watch a geek bite the head off a chicken, but didn’t necessarily mean the show represented an evenhanded approach to poultry.

But Dick has the power of polling on his side, which, like the Pope, is infallible!

Is Fox News “an arm of the Republican Party” as White House Communications Director Anita Dunn says?

Democratic and independent voters beg to differ. A national survey conducted for the League of American Voters by the Global Marketing Research Center during last week shows that 46 percent of those who watch Fox News “just about every day” are Democrats or independents as are 50 percent of those who watch it “several times each week” or more. [...]

Could it be that the Obama Administration is concerned about Fox News not because it is “an arm of the Republican Party” but because it is so widely seen among Democrats and Independents?

Well, I see Fox News just about every day too, since it’s always on at my gym, and I frequently watch obnoxious clips of the network on sites like Crooks and Liars, but I’m not sure that entitles them to count me as a member of their audience.  Still, who am I to challenge the methodology of a poll commissioned by such an impressive and impartial-sounding organization like the League of American Voters.  I wonder if I’m an involuntary member of that, as well.

From Sourcewatch:

The League of American Voters (LAV) is a Washington, D.C.- based 501(c) organization that raises money to run anti-health care reform television advertisements written by Dick Morris in key swing states. The organization’s Web page says it opposes President Obama’s efforts to reform the American health-care system “and other forms of socialism.” It refers to regulation of the health care system as a “government takeover.”

Two major networks have refused to run an LAV ad that features a neurosurgeon who warns viewers that a government run health care system will lead to the rationing of procedures and medicine.

The site seeks monetary donations and provides a way to donate via credit card, but gives no telephone number or email address and does not list its funders. The League of American Voters is not listed in Guidestar, a widely-used database of information on nonprofits. LAV solicits donations to run further anti-health care reform ads, and adds that it offers to send donors who give $250 or more an autographed copy of Dick Morris’ most recent book, “Catastrophe.”

The League of American Voters shares the same street address and suite number as Americans for Tax Reform and there is some overlap between the League of American Voters, Americans for Tax Reform and the Tax Day Tea Party organizers.

Well, clearly they’re on the up and up.  Still, I’m not comfortable being drafted into Rupert Murdoch’s helotry, because I believe — and I think most reputable doms would back me up here — that thralldom is hottest when it’s consensual, and I really don’t want to be awakened one morning by the moist sound and sensation of Dick Morris sucking on my toes.

At least, not until we’d agreed on a price.


Meanwhile, over at WorldNutDaily, where polling is recognized as the bastard child of Gallileo and Darwin, our old friend Janet Porter (née Folger) has taken her crusade far beyond demographics and deep into the burning desert plains of Megiddo:

Not just wrong, but downright evil.

When Phelim Mcaleer pointed out the inconvenient fact from his documentary “Not Evil, Just Wrong,” that there are more polar bears today – not less – contrary to Al Gore’s documentary, Gore responded by … cutting off his microphone.

But Gore didn’t respond by cutting off his head, proving that the former Vice President is an indecisive leader who would have been too ineffectual to stand up against Al Qaeda after 9/11, so we’re actually lucky the Supreme Court decided the 2000 Presidential election in favor of the Queen of Hearts.

That’s what the Obama Administration is trying to do to us, and I would make the case that what’s going on today isn’t just wrong, it’s downright evil.

Our only hope for salvation as a people and a country is Harvey’s Bristol Cream, which is “downright upright.”  And if you poured a bucket of it over Obama he’d probably melt like the Wicked Witch of the West.  Or at least get all smoove with the ladies.

Evil. Like a guy who murders 70 million people. That’s pretty evil.

Thanks for calibrating our moral compass, Janet.

She told the Dominican government that she and the Obama campaign “absolutely control[ed]” the media.

That seems like a shocking admission, but hey, if you can’t confess to the nuns who run the government, who can you trust?  As it turns out, however, Dunn was talking about the campaign’s effort to control the media message (from a Fox News link, no less):

Dunn is seen describing in detail the media strategy used by then-Sen. Barack Obama’s highly disciplined presidential campaign.

“Very rarely did we communicate through the press anything that we didn’t absolutely control,” Dunn said, admitting that the strategy “did not always make us popular in the press.”

In the January forum, she provided details about the lengths to which the Obama campaign went to control the media message.She explained that the campaign favored live interviews so that Obama’s words could not be edited — “so that what the voters heard we determined, as opposed to some editor in a TV station.”

“[A] huge part of our press strategy was focused on making the media cover what Obama was actually saying as opposed to why the campaign was saying it,” she said.

So apparently Dunn wasn’t talking about censorship, but a strategy for smuggling Obama’s message past reporters who were less interested in policy than personality.

They control what’s reported and how. That’s why they don’t like that @#*!% Fox News.

Janet learned her ethics from the Bible and her profanity from Snuffy Smith.

They reported the story of Obama’s czar choice of self-described Communist Van Jones, and revealed the ACORN sting video that exposed Obama’s pet organization that was previously best-known for voter fraud. Now they’re also know for helping to get government funds for a house of prostitution with under-age, illegal aliens.

Previously, if a Republican insider wanted to sexually exploit aliens, he had to go all the way to the Marianas Islands, or at least get cozy with Jack Abramoff.

They don’t like that Fox News standard of: “We report, you decide.” No, they want it to be “You report what we decide.”

Originally, it was Chance is a fool’s name for fate.” But the Obama administration kept fiddling with it, first trying out, “Give me a name for chance and I am a fool,” and “Chances are that fate is foolish,” before finally settling on, “Fate is the foolish thing. Take a chance!”

It’s the same way they attacked Rush Limbaugh. Obama started it months ago. But now with made up quotes that Limbaugh never said, they’ve blocked him from purchasing a football franchise. Welcome to Chicago-style politics.

“He pulls a Season Ticket, you pull a Skybox.  He stops one’a yours from buyin’ into a Triple A farm club in a secondary media market, you stop one’a his from purchasing a minority position in an NFL franchise.  That’s the Chicago way!”

First they came for Rush Limbaugh, but we didn’t speak up because we weren’t the highest-rated talk-show host in America. Then they came for Fox news, and we didn’t speak up because we were all just watching with our mouths hanging open in disbelief.

Tell you what, Janet…Why don’t you hold off on butchering the Niemöller poem until Rush Limbaugh or Rupert Murdoch are worked to death in a concentration camp, then have their gold filings yanked out and their ashen remains buried in a mass grave, instead of being left in peace to reap millions and spread lies.

I don’t think that’s a lot to ask.

Even CNN has recognized the evil. Even they pointed out that we have a president who will talk with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad but not Fox News.

Clearly, Fox needs to acquire nuclear weapons if they want to be taken seriously as a news organization.

No, they want to assault the one television network that won’t march in lock step with the rest of Obama’s media minions they “absolutely control.”

You didn’t even read that Dunn interview, did you?

State-controlled media. Aghhh.

Does anyone know the Heimlich?

The state-run media has its glitches: Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.

We Glitch.  You Decide.

That’s why Obama wants a real state-run media. That’s right, completely owned and operated by the government, with him at the helm. That’s why the “newspaper bailout” is being planned and discussed, so we don’t have all those blogs the president dislikes so much.

Wait’ll the President finds out blogs aren’t printed in the newspaper.  We think the joke will be on Obama!

I have an idea.  Let’s release a big silver balloon shaped like a saucer and tell everybody that the health-care bills are in it. Let’s throw in the hate-crimes legislation, control-and-tax bill and the rest of their socialist spending. Then count the seconds until it’s shot down from the sky by freedom lovers and Second Amendment supporters everywhere.

Then let’s count the seconds until freedom lovers and Second Amendment supporters everywhere discover that bullets that go up will also come down.

The only problem is with all the thousands of pages of lethal legislation they want to pass in Congress, our balloon wouldn’t be able to fly, even with all the hot air in Washington.

Ha, ha.  Oh, you saucy-tongued vixen.

We can’t wait until next November to send our message. We need to act now before it’s too late. In three weeks more than 3 million personalized messages have been delivered to Congress – building a wall of resistance – a pink wall.

Okay, well, I think I’ll get out of here before this inevitably devolves into either hymen jokes or a Prince song.