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Archive for October 11th, 2009

Happy Birthday, Anntichrist S. Coulter!

Posted by scott on October 11th, 2009

As Bill S. so kindly pointed out a couple threads down, today is the natal anniversary of our good friend, Anntichrist S. Coulter — blogger, feral cat wrangler, and angel of mercy during various natural disasters.  She can also squeeze more comic potential out of certain words that would make Brent Bozell III blush until his face matched the unhealthy salmon color of his beard, than anyone I know.

Before we go on, allow me to present the traditional birthday cheesecake image of Ann Coulter:

As you can see, this is a photo of a Younger Ann, back when she was relatively unknown and still hustling for jobs.  Here we see her soliciting a conservative think tank sinecure.

Many of you may have noticed that Annti has not been dropping by Wo’C quite as much lately.  Her absence is due largely to complications following surgery to correct the back injuries she sustained while helping folks get to higher ground during Hurricane Gustav.  This, of course, is on top of the violence done to her spine when she was throwing bags of feed into her truck, and helping to keep overwhelmed animal shelters supplied in the immediate aftermath of Katrina.  Even when coping with pain, however, she somehow manages to get out and trap the multitude of feral cats roaming her region of Louisiana, and see that they’re spayed or neutered.  Thus, I think we can all agree that by the standards of shelled zygotes, she is an exceptionally good egg.

Not surprisingly, Annti shares her birthday with a number of other strong, distinguished women:

Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States

Jean Vander Pyle, the voice of Wilma Flintstone

Dawn French, Welsh comedienne

Michelle Wie, American golfter

Michelle Trachtenberg, American actress

Daryl Hall, of Hall and Oates

Famous people who died on this day:

Redd Foxx, American comedian

Jean Cocteau, French writer

Edith Piaf, French singer and actress

Chico Marx, American comedian, musician, and actor

Meriwether Lewis, American explorer and suicidal depressive

On this day in history:

“Due to the implementation of the Gregorian calendar this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain.”

Well okay then, let’s just forget it!

Instead, let’s take a look at your horoscope:

Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac

But that doesn’t mean you should just sit on your ass all day.  Look at this place!

Many modern astrologers regard it as the most desirable of zodiacal types

I’ll go further — I think, of all the zodiacal types, it’s the zodiacalist.

Librans too are among the most civilized of the twelve zodiacal characters and are often good looking. They have elegance, charm and good taste, are naturally kind, very gentle, and lovers of beauty, harmony (both in music and social living) and the pleasures that these bring.

Well I obviously can’t make a joke here, or I’ll get killed.

The Sun trine Moon in your Solar Return chart is a fortunate aspect.

As long as you kept the receipt.

The Sun trines Neptune in your Solar Return chart.

In fact, the Sun trines pretty much all the heavenly bodies, the little slut, so if I were you I’d get both your Moon and Uranus tested.

Mercury trines Uranus

I knew it.  You need a lift to the clinic…?

This is a good year for projects involving technology or New Age topics

Because those are so similar.

You may find more opportunities to attend meetings and other organized group activities, to communicate online, and to take part in activities involving computers, scientific projects, or metaphysics.

Translations:  The guys from the Best Buy Geek Squad might invite you to play with their Thursday night Dungeons and Dragons group. And since it’s your birthday, you get to roll for Initiative.

The Sun sits at the midpoint between Venus and Mars in your Solar Return, suggesting that personal magnetism runs very high this year.

Or the Sun just enjoys being the meat in a Venus and Mars sandwich.

This has the potential for being an especially creative year. For some, it can be procreative!

Translation:  Cross your legs!

Venus trines Neptune

…but fortunately uses a dental dam.

Mars sextiles Saturn and Pluto

Alright, what is this, The L Word?  C’mon!

Anyway, happy birthday, AC, and don’t do further injury to your back with all the sextiling and trining this year.  And if anyone out there has a few extra coins in the coffee can, perhaps you’d consider dropping by Annti’s blog and making a small contribution to help her keep body and black, shriveled soul together during a difficult time.  There’s a PayPal button a little ways down, on the right side of the page.

Post-Friday Beast Blogging: The “See If You Can Spot The Evil” Edition

Posted by scott on October 11th, 2009

Here’s the latest in our series, Cats: Compare ‘n’ Contrast!, in which a single image captures two distinct personalities.  On the right, Moondoggie finds you fascinating, and would love to get to know you better; as you can plainly see, he really is that into you.


On the left, Riley thinks you’re a blundering fool, and is seriously considering using you as ballast in the nose cone of the missile she plans to shoot out of an extinct volcano and directly at the moon, as part of her diabolical master plan for conquering the puny bipeds who infest her planet.

But on a bipartisan note, they both enjoy chin scritches, long naps in the sun, and Whiskas Temptations®.