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Archive for the 'Sunday Sermon' Category

Judge Judie Sentences You To Swinehood

Posted by scott on October 24th, 2010

Since 1969, Pro-Am Catholic and professional noodge Judie Brown has been tackling women outside gynecologist’s offices and wrestling them for their zygotes.  But despite a valiant struggle, she may finally be succumbing to the frailties in the flesh, since she’s recently begun referring to herself in the third person, which usually means the patient is suffering from Stage 4 Bob Dole Disease.

Obama’s henchmen at the trough

What do pigs in a trough have to do with President Obama and his programs?  You might find the tie-in disturbing or, at the very least, disgusting. Judie Brown will help you see the link.

Scott Clevenger doubts you’re going to come up with anything other than tendentious, self-refuting claptrap, but Scott Clevenger is intrigued, and he will read on.

Just in case it is overlooked by the mainstream media, there are a few facts about pro-aborts that demand repeating.

Judie Brown often refers to those who believe a woman has a right to choose whether to bring a pregnancy to term as “pro-aborts,” and it seems unfair that we’re the only ones who get a cool, Newspeakish sobriquet, so I propose that from now on, we call folks like Judie who engage in anti-choice activities, “an-cho-vies.”

To start, the nation’s number one promoter of preborn child killing and promiscuity, Planned Parenthood, is a major player in Obama’s agenda.

I think MSNBC should adopt “the nation’s number one promoter of preborn child killing and promiscuity” as their new slogan.  Sure, it’s no “Fair and Balanced,” or “the most trusted name in news,” but it’s better than “Lean Forward.”  And what’s Planned Parenthood gonna do about it, walk into 30 Rock and abort Keith Olbermann?  Once you’re out of the womb, they can’t touch you!

It stands to grow fatter and even more scurrilous as time goes on — thanks to the Obama administration.

So much for Michelle Obama’s campaign to end the epidemic of childhood scurrilousness.

For example, Obama’s Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is joining Planned Parenthood and The National Abortion Federation in a project designed to train abortion chamber worker in the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances (FACE) Act. The goal of this training is quite obvious. By hosting these sessions, the idea is further embedded in the minds of abortion mill workers and volunteers that pro-life demonstrators could be a real threat to the thriving abortion business.

Oh pshaw, as my grandmother used to say, while picking off abortion providers from cover with her AR-30M Bolt Action Sniper Rifle, where would they get that idea?

the training guide produced by the pro-aborts is one-sided

There are two sides to every question, just as there are, strictly speaking, twos ends to a gun barrel.

Planned Parenthood is also praising the Obama administration for its Preventive Care regulations. In a prepared statement, the organization extols itself as the nation’s leader in reproductive health care. What seems to have pleased the death peddlers most of all is that their involvement and mobilization of grass roots supporters will ensure that women have access to all the services which help them “avoid unintended pregnancy.”

Whereas Judie knows that unintended pregnancies are the best kind, because it’s like God throwing a surprise party in your womb, except there’s one guest that won’t leave for nine months, and just lies around eating you out of house and placenta.  Intended pregnancies, on the other hand, suggest an infuriating sense of entitlement.  Why should a woman get a baby just because she wants one?  She might as well demand we give her a Porsche, or one of those sonic foot baths from the Sharper Image.  We’ve coddled these women and their uteri long enough, and with sky  high taxes and a huge deficit, the last thing we can afford to do is give in to the demands of Big Mother.

They opine, “Making prescription birth control easily accessible and affordable reduces the number of unintended pregnancies and, therefore, reduces the need for abortion.”

Talk about deceptive rhetoric!

It’s crazy talk!

A birth control chemical that works to kill a growing embryonic baby is certainly not a prescription for reducing anything, but rather for death. Suggesting that their marketable chemicals will reduce the need for abortion is like suggesting that avoiding cancer treatment will cure cancer.

Judie’s anti-abortion group is test marketing a couple of new slogans themselves:   “Fetus — It’s like a tumor,” and “Yes We Cancer!”

But when the purveyor of linguistic treachery is on the federal dole and sitting at the right hand of Obama, advising him, what does one expect?

Well we certainly can’t expect plain-spoken acts of linguistic loyalty like “pro-aborts,” although sitting at the right hand of Obama probably won’t make a difference either way, since he’s a lefty.

In case there weren’t enough reasons for cutting Planned Parenthood off at the knees so that our tax dollars no longer subsidize its self-fulfilling prophecies, this is one that takes the cake.

When your prophets are double-amputees, and yet they still manage to steal your baked goods, it’s time to start looking for tongue traitors.

The inevitable has become reality, and now we have the chief architects of the culture of death assisting the FBI in driving pro-life activists into an alley and ensuring that our children will be brainwashed from the moment they become part of a comprehensive education program that includes abortion, birth control and sexual preferences.

Their brains have not only been washed, as they say, they have been dry cleaned.  So now whenever your sixth grader hears the words “Planned Parenthood” and sees the Queen of Diamonds, she will immediately pop an RU-486 and shoot the president.

Disgusting? Sure it is. But pigs sloshing around in their own dirt have a habit of sullying everything in sight.

Damn pro-aporks.

The Greatest of These is Charity

Posted by s.z. on October 10th, 2010

Kevin is Apparently the One in the Blue Shirt

Today’s inspirational thought is by Kevin McCullough, American patriot, self-proclaimed muscle-head, and today’s “Most Loathsome Person at Townhall.”

He decided to get some attention by countering the “politically correct” wisdom that it was tragic that Tyler Clementi committed suicide.

The assumptions made on many of these broadcast, print, and web based reports follow the idea that Tyler felt so bullied by the roommate and girlfriend who evilly and immorally taped him, that he had no option but to turn to suicide. This has been quickly adopted as the authoritative version of what happened and the need for psychologically profiling both the bullies who did it and other youths who engage in homosexual behavior.

Of course there are other issues that could be examined. Perhaps Tyler had a genuinely sensitive conscience, perhaps he had great respect for both his family and his God, perhaps he felt ashamed of actions because he knew they were immoral. Hence a completely different narrative could be told, one that encourages young people towards moral choices.

So, if I am interpreting it correctly, this would be Kevin’s morally inspiring “different narrative”:

“Young Tyler engaged in immoral, perverted behavior, and when this came to light, he was rightly ashamed for having brought dishonor on his family and his God, so he listened to his conscience and did the decent thing, which was to take his own life. So, kids, don’t be gay, or you might have to jump off a bridge too.”