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Since 1969, Pro-Am Catholic and professional noodge Judie Brown has been tackling women outside gynecologist’s offices and wrestling them for their zygotes.  But despite a valiant struggle, she may finally be succumbing to the frailties in the flesh, since she’s recently begun referring to herself in the third person, which usually means the patient is suffering from Stage 4 Bob Dole Disease.

Obama’s henchmen at the trough

What do pigs in a trough have to do with President Obama and his programs?  You might find the tie-in disturbing or, at the very least, disgusting. Judie Brown will help you see the link.

Scott Clevenger doubts you’re going to come up with anything other than tendentious, self-refuting claptrap, but Scott Clevenger is intrigued, and he will read on.

Just in case it is overlooked by the mainstream media, there are a few facts about pro-aborts that demand repeating.

Judie Brown often refers to those who believe a woman has a right to choose whether to bring a pregnancy to term as “pro-aborts,” and it seems unfair that we’re the only ones who get a cool, Newspeakish sobriquet, so I propose that from now on, we call folks like Judie who engage in anti-choice activities, “an-cho-vies.”

To start, the nation’s number one promoter of preborn child killing and promiscuity, Planned Parenthood, is a major player in Obama’s agenda.

I think MSNBC should adopt “the nation’s number one promoter of preborn child killing and promiscuity” as their new slogan.  Sure, it’s no “Fair and Balanced,” or “the most trusted name in news,” but it’s better than “Lean Forward.”  And what’s Planned Parenthood gonna do about it, walk into 30 Rock and abort Keith Olbermann?  Once you’re out of the womb, they can’t touch you!

It stands to grow fatter and even more scurrilous as time goes on — thanks to the Obama administration.

So much for Michelle Obama’s campaign to end the epidemic of childhood scurrilousness.

For example, Obama’s Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is joining Planned Parenthood and The National Abortion Federation in a project designed to train abortion chamber worker in the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances (FACE) Act. The goal of this training is quite obvious. By hosting these sessions, the idea is further embedded in the minds of abortion mill workers and volunteers that pro-life demonstrators could be a real threat to the thriving abortion business.

Oh pshaw, as my grandmother used to say, while picking off abortion providers from cover with her AR-30M Bolt Action Sniper Rifle, where would they get that idea?

the training guide produced by the pro-aborts is one-sided

There are two sides to every question, just as there are, strictly speaking, twos ends to a gun barrel.

Planned Parenthood is also praising the Obama administration for its Preventive Care regulations. In a prepared statement, the organization extols itself as the nation’s leader in reproductive health care. What seems to have pleased the death peddlers most of all is that their involvement and mobilization of grass roots supporters will ensure that women have access to all the services which help them “avoid unintended pregnancy.”

Whereas Judie knows that unintended pregnancies are the best kind, because it’s like God throwing a surprise party in your womb, except there’s one guest that won’t leave for nine months, and just lies around eating you out of house and placenta.  Intended pregnancies, on the other hand, suggest an infuriating sense of entitlement.  Why should a woman get a baby just because she wants one?  She might as well demand we give her a Porsche, or one of those sonic foot baths from the Sharper Image.  We’ve coddled these women and their uteri long enough, and with sky  high taxes and a huge deficit, the last thing we can afford to do is give in to the demands of Big Mother.

They opine, “Making prescription birth control easily accessible and affordable reduces the number of unintended pregnancies and, therefore, reduces the need for abortion.”

Talk about deceptive rhetoric!

It’s crazy talk!

A birth control chemical that works to kill a growing embryonic baby is certainly not a prescription for reducing anything, but rather for death. Suggesting that their marketable chemicals will reduce the need for abortion is like suggesting that avoiding cancer treatment will cure cancer.

Judie’s anti-abortion group is test marketing a couple of new slogans themselves:   “Fetus — It’s like a tumor,” and “Yes We Cancer!”

But when the purveyor of linguistic treachery is on the federal dole and sitting at the right hand of Obama, advising him, what does one expect?

Well we certainly can’t expect plain-spoken acts of linguistic loyalty like “pro-aborts,” although sitting at the right hand of Obama probably won’t make a difference either way, since he’s a lefty.

In case there weren’t enough reasons for cutting Planned Parenthood off at the knees so that our tax dollars no longer subsidize its self-fulfilling prophecies, this is one that takes the cake.

When your prophets are double-amputees, and yet they still manage to steal your baked goods, it’s time to start looking for tongue traitors.

The inevitable has become reality, and now we have the chief architects of the culture of death assisting the FBI in driving pro-life activists into an alley and ensuring that our children will be brainwashed from the moment they become part of a comprehensive education program that includes abortion, birth control and sexual preferences.

Their brains have not only been washed, as they say, they have been dry cleaned.  So now whenever your sixth grader hears the words “Planned Parenthood” and sees the Queen of Diamonds, she will immediately pop an RU-486 and shoot the president.

Disgusting? Sure it is. But pigs sloshing around in their own dirt have a habit of sullying everything in sight.

Damn pro-aporks.

31 Responses to “Judge Judie Sentences You To Swinehood”

…”assisting the FBI in driving pro-life activists into an alley…”?

So. let me see if I understand this, Judi is complaining about back-alley anti-abortions?

Hahahahah, sorry but made me giggle you did, Scott. Thank you muchly.

Which would you prefer, anti-abortion activists safely shooting doctors out in a public place, or in some back alley?

A birth control chemical that works to kill a growing embryonic baby is certainly not a prescription for reducing anything, but rather for death.

No, Judie. No. No, no, no. You’re just wrong. What you’re saying is incorrect. It’s just false. Invalid. The opposite of true.

I used to hear this one from some of the more extreme Catholic pro-life groups, who decided that prescription birth control pills were abortifacients. They were wrong, Judie, and so are you. They tried to frame it as a difference of opinion, but it’s not a difference of opinion. You are entitled to your own opinions, Judie, but facts are stubborn things that are not wont to change based on your feelings.

In that statement, Planned Parenthood was referring to “prescription birth control,” i.e. the pill. That contains progestin, and progestin isn’t an abortifacient. It prevents the gametes from ever meeting; ergo, the woman was never pregnant; ergo, she couldn’t have aborted. That’s a fact, Judie. Learn to recognize them.

As much as I dislike pro-lifers in general, what really pisses me off is when they lie and expect their lies to be given equal weight to the truth. Shame that our media are so eager to do just that.

An-cho-vies! Yay.

Larkspur often wonders why the an-cho-vies always assume that the more radical fringe-y activists, the ones they publicly disavow, but send baked goods to in prison (hand-shaped cookies to symbolize the holy High Five), are the only ones who can operate firearms. Larkspur finds it odd that an-cho-vies in particular cannot imagine that the fish in the barrel might some day shoot back.

Damn pro-aporks.

at first I read that as “Damn pro-sporks.” and wondered what runcible spoons had to do with it

obviously I need to get my glasses checked

Judie is clearly willfully ignorant about what birth control does, I can’t for the life of me imagine no one has ever explained to her that she’s wrong about it. But there’s a moron who looks not unlike her who spends a lot of time picketing the local women’s clinic–which does not do abortions–with whom I have had equally moronic conversations wherein she maintains that birth control causes abortions. Her fucking idiocy centers on the theory that without birth control, people would not have sex, and as birth control fails “constantly”, the people who use it will then obviously get abortions. So let’s get rid of birth control, which enables a “culture of unwanted babies” and therefore causes abortions.

There’s basically no arguing with these people. Even if you could get Judie to admit she’s wrong on the facts, she’ll simply switch to a different tactic. She doesn’t have a logical objection to birth control, she has an emotional reaction to people having sex and is pseudorationally backstopping it with whatever argument is handy.

As such, I applaud Scott for making fun of her. It’s all you can do. In particular, this:

There are two sides to every question, just as there are, strictly speaking, twos ends to a gun barrel.

made my day. I’m stealing it for my next argument with the moron.

One of the worst things to me about the whole, umm, an-cho-vies? – oh, thank you scott – culture is that when women are given control of their fertility they tend to make good decisions about when it is appropriate to have children.

These people really do just hate women, don’t they?

I think it’s the whole “baby as punishment” thing that bugs me the most. Not only is the punishment necessarily one-sided, but the “result” has a great chance of being resented and abused. Of course, that’s not a consideration. If I believed in Evil, these folx would certainly serve as great examples.

What do pigs in a trough have to do with President Obama and his programs?

I’m guessing here: Nothing, since he’s Muslim.

Just in case it is overlooked by the mainstream media, there are a few facts about pro-aborts that demand repeating.

“This is Howard Cosell, and with me is professional aborter Ro V. Wade. Miss Wade, tell me about the difficult decision you made to give up your sparkling amateur career and become a pro-aborter…”

Planned Parenthood, is a major player in Obama’s agenda.

Yo, bitch, don’ be hatin’ da playah! Hate da game!

It stands to grow fatter and even more scurrilous as time goes on — thanks to the Obama administration.

Somehow the idea that Planned Parenthood gets fatter seems to run counter to the whole “planned” concept. I figure it has aerobics at three and Pilates at five.

The goal of this training is quite obvious. By hosting these sessions, the idea is further embedded in the minds of abortion mill workers and volunteers that pro-life demonstrators could be a real threat to the thriving abortion business.

George Tiller will be teaching this class…oh wait, I forgot… HE’S DEAD FROM A AN-CHO-VIE MURDERER!

They opine, “Making prescription birth control easily accessible and affordable reduces the number of unintended pregnancies and, therefore, reduces the need for abortion.”

Talk about deceptive rhetoric!

She’s right: the number one cause of abortion is contraception.

Judie’s anti-abortion group is test marketing a couple of new slogans themselves: “Fetus — It’s like a tumor,” and “Yes We Cancer!”

I hate you, Scott.

The inevitable has become reality, and now we have the chief architects of the culture of death assisting the FBI in driving pro-life activists into an alley

…where they’ll get their abortions!

So let’s see..they don’t want the pound of cure (abortion), but they don’t want the ounce of prevention (birth control), either. So what’s left? Well, government-mandated chastity belts, I guess…to be unlocked only upon marriage…if then.

The Anti-Sex League lives!

Larkspur finds it odd that an-cho-vies in particular cannot imagine that the fish in the barrel might some day shoot back.

I’m ready, Larkspur. I live five blocks from a clinic where a whole slew of these eejits are currently performing their “40 days for life” protest — *and* I have a slingshot and three litter boxes full of cat crap.

Dear Anon–
I will be delighted to send my small, but significant, donation of one cat’s crap for your cause. I would also be happy to call the wonderful shelter that matched me with my Zoe for donations; IIRC they have twelve litterboxes.

Why should a woman get a baby just because she wants one? She might as well demand we give her a Porsche, or one of those sonic foot baths from the Sharper Image.

Indeed. I suggest we just them all a Hawaii Chair.

And a review from my favorite non-politics blogger:

http://joeposnanski.blogspot.com/2010/10/hawaii-chair.html

just *get* them all.

Sorry, I was typing while being Hawaii chaired.

Why should a woman get a baby just because she wants one? She might as well demand we give her a Porsche, or one of those sonic foot baths from the Sharper Image.
Hmmm, never thought of those, must make a note.

About one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Sometimes this happens even before a woman knows she is pregnant.

Who knew jaysus was the biggest pro-abort?

A real woman knows when she is pregnant. She feels a special ping in her womb. So if she “miscarries” it’s most likely because she did something reckless, like maybe she went to work and supervised a man, or flew to a conference, or had a fight with her husband, or just had mean thoughts in general. I’m not sure she should get jail time, but certainly probation is in order.

“So if she “miscarries” it’s most likely because she did something reckless, like maybe she went to work and supervised a man”
Left by Larkspur

You came close to a reckless homicide charge when that comment made me choke on my M&M’s.

Damn, I was assuming the Hawaii Chair was some kind of sex device/furniture. That would really get the old “sex is SATAN” broad in a (further) tizzy.

Damn, I was assuming the Hawaii Chair was some kind of sex device/furniture.

If you use it correctly…

“…You came close to a reckless homicide charge when that comment made me choke on my M&M’s.”

Sorry. Know what would have been worse? If the M&Ms had shot out of your nose. We know that happens with potables, but theoretically, M&Ms could be shot out. Next thing you know, somebody’s lost an eye and everyone is all grumpy.

Hey actor212–
Aerobics at 3 and Pilates at 5? I thought that was part of the homosexual agenda, after brunch.

Let’s leave the abortions to God, who is more spontaneous about it.

Aerobics at 3 and Pilates at 5? I thought that was part of the homosexual agenda, after brunch.

Only fag hags use Planned Parenthood so they can have those gay babies aborted.

Sorry. Know what would have been worse? If the M&Ms had shot out of your nose. We know that happens with potables, but theoretically, M&Ms could be shot out.

*tearing up war materiels list for invasion of Lawrence Welk Middle School*

Hey! It’s Scott’s birthday! Where’s the Coulter pic?!

I think the best gift for Scott would be a completely wingnut-free day. He endures them for us the rest of the year.

When I had a miscarriage it was a relief and a surprise, because I didn’t know I was pregnant, but once I learned what it was, boy was I counting my blessings. If I knew what caused it I would have written a pamphlet and distributed it.

We have a planned parenthood clinic down the street which does not do any abortions. But that doesn’t stop the “protesters” and their horribly offensive pictures from parading there regularly.

One of my daughters, the more direct one, has told me she makes it a point of hers to harass them at least once a month and every other time she goes in to get her birth control or other services. She loves to recount her stories of confounding them or making the young ones cry and say they are only there because their parents make them. Its great fun to listen when my radical children are all assembled together.

Can’t find my reading glasses, so I’ll have to skip the audience-participation part, but happy birfday, Scott, even if I am 25 hours late!!!

Edgar Allan Li Po:
Hey! It’s Scott’s birthday! Where’s the Coulter pic?!
Annti’s got it covered.
Happy birthday, Scott.

“George Tiller will be teaching this class…oh wait, I forgot… HE’S DEAD FROM A AN-CHO-VIE MURDERER!”

FUCKIN’ A.

Man, I wish that I still had the energy & stamina to do the counter-protests/clinic protection barricades again… though the fugly eau de mouf-breathers IS a bit hard to take sometimes… SAY IT, DON’T SPRAY IT, FUCKTARDS.

Fetus — It’s like a tumor,” and “Yes We Cancer!”

Sooooo, if Schwarzenegger ever came out as pro-choice, then he’d run billboards that say, “It’s NADDA TOOMAH!”???

~~~
“I live five blocks from a clinic where a whole slew of these eejits are currently performing their ’40 days for life’ protest — *and* I have a slingshot and three litter boxes full of cat crap.”

I WANNA PLAY!!!! I WANNAAAA PLAAAAAYYY!!!!!!” Plus, I have 2 big, fat, crotchety old cats, so we will NEVER. RUN. OUT. OF. AMMO. !!!!!!

David: If you can properly & effectively attach the head of my Hitachi Magic Wand (Thanks again, Robin! Whatta wunnerful birfday prezzie THAT was!!!) to the seat of the Hawaii pseudo-hula chair, at the exactly, precisely PERFECT point ON the chair seat, then I would never need to leave the house again or EVER work on my upper-body strength again, no matter WHAT those perky-as-fuck chicks @ physical therapy say!!! And Actor: Get outta my head. I wrote this paragraph before I saw your comment, and *I* at least worked-in the electrical, ergonomic & mechanical specs in MY concept!

SCOTT: Re: “Why should a woman get a baby just because she wants one? She might as well demand we give her a Porsche, or one of those sonic foot baths from the Sharper Image.”

SEE? THAT’S what I’ve been bitching about all of these years!!! Where’s MY reward for *NOT* BREEDING?!?!?!? Where’s MY foot bath? Where’s MY overpriced German pregnant-rollerskate car??? Bitches get a year of free dental care every time that they carry to term, or at least ALMOST to term, they get THOUSANDS in W.I.C. food & formula, they get TENS OF THOUSANDS in welfare CASH, ***AND*** they get ENOUGH FOOD STAMPS FOR THREE ADULT PEOPLE, EVERY FUCKING MONTH, JUST FOR HAVING AN IMMEDIATELY-POST-FETAL SCREAMER IN THE HOUSE!!!!!! NOT. FUCKING. FAIR. I’m supposed to “survive” on EIGHTY-NINE DOLLARS in food stamps a month, but as soon as any chick spurts a wad o’ protoplasm w/a brain stem out of her cunt, WHAMMO! RING THE BELLS! SET OFF THE STROBE LIGHTS!!! SHE’S HIT THE JACKPOT!!!!!! On top of the W.I.C. & welfare, she also gets from $250.00 to FOUR HUNDRED BUCKS A MONTH IN FOOD STAMPS, to feed an INFANT whose formula & baby cereal IS ALREADY COVERED BY W.I.C.!!!!!!

Yes, Bill Clinton, Bitch-Boy To Teh Republicunt Congress Who Ruined EVERYfuckingTHING, DID gut a helluva lot of social programs, especially those that made sure that disenfranchised children get the nutrition that they need so that their little brains grow up big & strong, and DUMBYA’S 2nd-biggest con-job (after “My Pet Goat”), the EXTREEEEEMELY unconstitutional and UTTERLY illegal “Faith-Based Initiatives” totally FUCKED any and everybody who needed/needs help TO DEATH, because it’s just like the ORIGINAL Spanish Inquisition/Hernando de Soto plan for Indigenous Genocide: CONVERT OR DIE, MUTHAFUCKAHS!!!

Nonetheless, considering all of the dain-bramaged spawn that I *could* have had, but DIDN’T, not to mention the 2 fuckups that I didn’t have to take to Planned Parenthood because my vicious & most un-neighborly uterus took care of it all by herself, and all of the bonuses that our gubmint and the cults who run it GIVE TO THOSE WHO NEVER EVEN ***CONSIDER*** USING BIRTH CONTROL or, fates forfend, ***TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN BODILY FUNCTIONS*** — I say that the motherfuckers owe me, D. Sidhe, and all of us other non-breeding and/or INTENTIONAL SPINSTERS (female AND male!) a whole big stinkin’ pile of PAYBACK!!!!!!

We’ve been cheated all of these years, DOING THE RIGHT THING. We’ve spared the system innumerable potentially-fucked-up chirren who could’ve wound-up in foster care, or in prison, or, skeeriest of all, RUNNING YOUR LOCAL SCHOOL BOARD — we have spared humanity an ASSLOAD of money AND the skeery thought of a LIBERAL MAJORITY in this cunt-ry. Shouldn’t Big Republicunt Brother reward us for our diligence?

I don’t want too much, I just want what they WOULD have had to spend on 3 or 4 water-headed spawn that might have shot-forth from my knock-kneed loins, from cradle to 18, plus the Pell Grants that NOBODY gets anymore, including dental & psychological care for all of the above.

THAT, I think, would be just enough to get my ass moved back to New Orleans and buy me a full set of dental implants, since the plastic partial toofuses knocked-out four healthy/living teefuses since I got THEM.

BTW, I’ve got an appointment on Tuesday to look at/qualify for an apartment where the Desire Projects used to be, so anybody wanna volunteer to co-pilot with me? I can drive down there, but somebody else will have to drive back, or I won’t be walking for the week following. C’mon, just ONE volunteer? Don’t be so chickenshit, I don’t drive THAT dangerously! In lieu of actual co-pilots, donations for gas money will be just as appreciated, for those of you who are too fragile to survive traffic WITH ME.

And my long-lost Larky-Poo: “I’m not sure she should get jail time, but certainly probation is in order.” Can we get similar punishment lined-up for all of the broads and sperm donors who FAIL to avoid pregnancy in the first place? Yeah, I know, it’s the KIDS who always pay for idiotic breeders’ behavior, if they are forced to be born onto this planet, but dammit, there ought to be more than societal punishment for their irresponsibility. Can’t wear a rubber? Can’t take the pill? Can’t deal with RU-486? Then get the damned SHOT inflicted upon your idiotic ass for at LEAST two years! Hair falling out? Backne sprouting? Tough titty. Keep it in yer pants next time. (And yes, with both of my fuckups, I was more than prepared to do the right thing by those little undead clots, thank yew very fucking much, but the decision got made before I got the money together. Nonetheless, *I* was going to take RESPONSIBILITY for MY fuckups.)

And an extra serving of hugs & appreciation to Mentis for mentioning Scott’s belated but still sincere birfday tribute (mAnn Coultergeist & Michelle Magalangadingdong pictures included free of charge!).

Something to say?