First up I just want to say thanks very much for the many lovely anniversary wishes. Secondly, I’d like to say I’m sorry to be repaying you with a Doug Giles column, but as you’ve probably noticed, I have absolutely no sales resistance when it comes to jive and alliteration.
Doug can’t understand it. He found a good spot to put up his stand, he laid a burka on the game trail and sprinkled it with doe estrus, and yet he’s been crouching here for two hours and he hasn’t seen a single feminist (although he did take a shot at a guy wearing a plaid shirt and an orange safety vest on the theory it was probably a lesbian).
Given Islam’s enslavement of women and the Sharia erection of the Cordoba Initiative’s chief con man, Abdul Rauf, you’d think N.O.W. and their ilk would now be raising more Cain about this Ground Zero Mosque than they are about Sarah Palin.
Doug poses an interesting question. Why can’t a women be more like a man, if by “man” we mean “a social, easily panicked animal which can, under the right circumstances, be persuaded by a single screaming man on horseback to follow the rest of the herd over a cliff.”
Why should one think this?
Because one is a moron?
Well, it’s principally because Sharia kind of sha-whizzes on hard-won women’s rights, that’s sha-why.
Duh. Yet we’re not hearing a whole heck of a lot from the fiery feminists regarding this Ground Zero affront and what it could entail for the girls among us. Yep, we’re hearing crickets from the virulent vixens of the lovely Left who vie for women’s rights.
And Hollywood, where are the bra burners of Tinseltown?
Given that they’ve lately been replaced by the Koran-burners of Gainesville, I’m feeling a little nostalgic for the innocence of incendiary lingerie. By the way, Doug, since you’re demanding the National Organization for Women adopt a position on a lower Manhattan community center — something a bit outside their bailiwick – what’s your opinion on the torching of religious texts? As an ordained cleric with a hobby church, that would seem to be within your area of competence — or, if that’s overstating it, at least your field of interest. So where do you stand, Doug? You’re fine with lighting up the Koran, but you draw the line at incinerating the Book of Mormon? You’re okay with the medieval penchant for burning the Talmud, but you object to stoking the furnace with the Avesta, or the Icelandic Sagas?
I figured they’d be on this topic of Muslim mama oppression like Clinton on a chunky intern, but alas … nada.
Which is weird, because I thought they’d be on this topic like Ted Haggard on a woman. Which is to say, not at all.
Why the silence, pussycats?
Well if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.
Does it not jive with your agenda?
I just checked the NOW website and here are their “Priority Issues:”
Constitutional Equality Amendment
Violence Against Women
So no, it would appear that “local zoning issues” are not a major part of their agenda. It’s like calling PETA a bunch of sell-outs because they’re not demanding more stringent safety regulations for recumbent bicycles.
Y’know, the fact that some rapscallion like Rauf can actually table support for Sharia law and then go balls-to-the-wall with building a Mosque within spitting distance from where we were attacked on 9/11, and then you—the supposed champions of chicks everywhere—do not go Twisted Sister over this bloody BS is both odd and revealing.
It sounds like Pastor Giles just applied a fresh coat of lip-glossolalia.
Nope, the fems’ fixation remains on Palin. Palin is the threat. Palin is the She Devil. Palin is the one who gets the nasty jabs—and not Islam and the potential spread of Sharia from sea to shining sea.
You ladies really have to learn to pick your battles — preferably imaginary ones, like Helm’s Deep, or Mons Badonicus.
I know what you fembots are thinking:
“That guy must get penis envy every time that little red meat thermometer pops up on the turkey.”
Sharia can’t happen here, right? Cha?
No, it’s Che.
Yes, we’d never allow Muslims to take us back to Bedrock legislatively. And I’m equally sure that’s what our snaggle-toothed feminist cousins in the UK thought right up until September 2008.
Facts be damned, however. For the feminists, the menacing foe they have to stave off remains Sarah and not Sharia.
Maybe the girls will more properly calibrate their hysteria once Sharia starts appearing frequently as a Fox News commentator. And what with the influx of Wahhabist money into News Corp, it shouldn’t be long now. Say, wait a minute, Doug…you’ve appeared on Fox News too! So along with that Scripture-burning question, maybe you’d like to tell us just how long you’ve been lining your pockets with Saudi gold.
Last time I checked, liberal lassies, Mrs. Palin does not believe that …
- Women are inferior to men.
- Women should have fewer rights and responsibilities than Larry the Cable Guy.
But she does apparently think that Larry the Cable Guy should have more rights than American Muslims.
- Women should be horse whipped if they ever make their husband feel like a dork.
Given that there are a billion and a half Muslims in the world, our best chance for peace is an attitude of mutual respect, and the cultivation of ties with liberal and moderate members of the faith, and the best way to do that is to imply that every Muslim holds extreme fundamentalist views.
- Victoria’s Secret Miraculous Bra (with extreme level 5 cleavage) makes God angry.
That reminds me of the time I saw four women in chadors emerge from the Frederick’s of Hollywood flagship store on Hollywood Boulevard, laden with shopping bags.
- Girls can be wed beginning at the ripe old age of frickin’ nine.
Really? All of them? Everywhere? Because in the world’s largest Muslim country, Indonesia, the marriageable age is 21 (16 with parental consent). It’s 18 in Doug’s home state of Florida, 16 with parental consent. In Iraq it’s 18, but only 15 with the parents’ blessing, which is undoubtedly due to our civilizing influence. Under the previous, secular government, it was probably legal to wed a zygote.
- Women should be cool with hubby having a couple of hoochies or female slaves on the side.
Doug, I refuse to continue this conversation until you put down the Gor novel and zip up your pants.
- Women, on the pretext of “honor,” should be locked up, isolated and unable to have a girls’ night out at Mango’s on Ocean Drive.
Doug’s a little bitter, since back in the 90s he made some decent money moonlighting at Mango’s. However, he’s gotten a little older and a touch craggier, the pecs aren’t quite as perky as they were, but he still picks up some spare change laundering and Bedazzling the younger dancer’s cock-socks.
Yep, last time I checked, Miss Sarah ain’t down with the above, but you know who is? I’ll tell you (because your lack of Ground Zero Mosque angst is auguring for the return to the cave man era): the Crapslinger Extraordinaire, Ground Zero’s grand zero, male chauvinist Imam Abtool Rauf. He likey Sharia.
And you, as you’ve oft told us, are down with Leviticus — sounds like you have a lot in common. You two should go have a pork-free boys night out.
So, my question is this: From an equal rights standpoint, why in God’s name do you, the Liberal ladies who are supposedly so earnest for fair treatment for the fairer sex, go after Palin and not the women’s rights-refusing Imams who think Sharia is the shizznah?
It’s hard to believe that major feminist organizations decline to take their cues on women’s rights from Doug Giles, but hey — that’s pussycats for ya.