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Most of the columnists who pop up at RenewAmerica are obscure and amateur cranks, and despite their tendency towards lengthy, if not vainglorious resumes, no one seems to know where most of them come from, although my guess would be the north side of a tree. A handful insist on claiming professional status, like papal groupie Matt C. Abbott, who calls himself a “Catholic columnist.” Now, I certainly agree that he’s Catholic, although his columns, as we’ve discussed, consist almost entirely of Matt introducing some diatribe from a peeved priest or cardinal, which makes him less of an entertainer than an emcee — sort of the Ed Sullivan to the bishopric’s Beatles. In a way, this is understandable; since Matt is a devotee of orthodox Catholicism, he would naturally value pronunciamentos from the Voice of Authority over his own piddling lay opinions.

But Judie Brown is different. She’s “president and co-founder of American Life League, the nation’s largest grassroots pro-life educational organization,” an assertion which seems both incredibly specific and hard to prove, but the thing does actually exist, which is more than you can say for the CVs of most RenewAmerica contributors. In fact, Judie has has been “involved in the pro-life movement since 1969,” so she’s been trying to take away your rights since before you even had them.

But unlike a lot of abortion opponents, Judie has evolved beyond mere opposition to choice, and doesn’t actually appear all that concerned about what goes on in the womb — her mission is to stop the killing of “pre-born babies” by contraception, so she’s more interested in fallopian tubes, ovaries, and testes. Because, as you’ll be shocked to learn, Judie is also an ultra-orthodox Catholic; according to her bio, “[s]he is currently serving her second five-year term as a member of the Pontifical Academy for Life in Rome” which is “a Vatican committee that advises Pope Benedict XVI on respect-life topics.” Which I guess means she works in the Vatican, so Judie’s life is basically Bosom Buddies in reverse.

Her bio goes on to claim that “Daily Catholic cited her as one of the top 100 Catholics of the 20th century,” which is probably the only surprising part of her resume, because I would have guessed the 15th.

The pill kills the truth

INTRO: Saturday, June 5th is a special day for preborn babies

Zygotes drink free! 2-for-1 Placenta Shooters.

…honest pro-life activism and families committed to ridding this nation of the sexual saturation that is killing the souls of our young people.

Especially the pre-born ones. Like a lot of people, I thought fetuses floated in amniotic fluid, but as it turns out, they’re soaking in sex!

This is why Judie Brown has a message that every American should read.

Saturday, June 5th is the third anniversary of American Life League’s groundbreaking effort to expose the fact that the birth control pill is nothing but bad news.

So it’s a lot like FOX.

The pill kills preborn babies

By preventing ovulation. So the pill works much like the killer cyborg in The Terminator, by going back in time and killing a pre-born baby before it’s pre-fertilized.

The pill kills women

This second claim links to a pop-up PDF of talking points from Judie’s side project, thepillkills.com, which informs us that “Oftentimes what can happen is that the pill can cause a woman to develop deep vein thrombosis, which is a blood clot that forms in a vein.” It seems like the FDA would be hesitant to approve a drug that “oftentimes” kills the user, but it’s been hamstrung because “[n]o one can know whether or not the pill has been a contributing factor in more deaths since the U.S. Standard Certificate of Death does not include a section that asks whether or not the deceased was taking some form of birth control.”

It’s the perfect crime!

But, as the Concerned But Fake Young Woman asks in the talking points, “What if I have to take the pill for medical reasons?”

A: Since each woman and situation is different, you should talk this over with your doctor and find a safer alternative. In many cases, the pill does not treat or cure your medical condition, but is nothing but a band-aid, which can actually cause even more problems. If your doctor has no other alternative, then contact the Pope Paul VI Institute…There are trained professionals there that can help you find the real source and treatment for your medical condition and they may be able to make a referral to a trained physician in your area.

You may think your doctor is a “trained physician,” but unlike the “trained professionals” at the Pope Paul VI Institute, she doesn’t have an MD in the Rhythm Method.

The pill kills the environment

Ah, this sounds like our old friend Geoffrey Botkin’s argument about oral contraceptives turning our salmon into sissies. Let’s see if the Sims at thepillkills are equally as fretful…

Q: I’ve heard that male fish have become more feminine because of the pill. Is that true?

I don’t know, the Incredible Mr. Limpet seemed pretty butch.

Each of these statements is based on irrefutable evidence.

Criswell2.jpg

My friend, you have seen this incident, based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn’t happen?

Even so, most of the media seems content with continuing the lie started more than 45 years ago by those committed to destroying marriage and discarding children prior to birth.

Well if you discard them after birth then you also have to discard the afterbirth, and a lot of times that’ll make the raccoons knock over your trash cans.

The result of this furtive campaign toward total moral devastation has resulted in the sexually saturated society of 2010. And, according to plan, most Americans have no clue that there’s anything wrong with the current state of affairs. Pardon my pun.

Let me find it first.

That’s how the architects of death designed it.

With puns?

The challenge is developing a knack for holding the attention of our fellow citizens long enough to make the point that contraception, regardless of the method, is piercing the heart of family life and destroying the souls of our children. Such a statement is unpopular but it remains the single most important message we can share. Even those who are committed to protecting the innocent at the same time refrain from making note of the devastating sociological consequences of contraception.

No one can doubt Judie’s bona fides as an opponent of legal abortion; the site for her primary organization ALL American Life League (which sounds like some sort of farm club for fetuses) has a post defending Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, the Arizona cleric who excommunicated a nun for allowing staff at a Catholic hospital to perform a life-saving abortion:

Bishop Olmsted reminds us that a unique and unrepeatable preborn baby is at the center of this tragic case and his or her murder strikes at the very core of the Gospel of life and the call of Jesus to see His face in those less fortunate.

Some people might think it’s the dying woman who actually belongs at the center of this tragic case, rather than her 11-week old fetus, but as Judie’s colleague Matt C. Abbott reminded us today, this isn’t about a woman’s right to life, it’s about a snotty ultra-orthodox Catholic’s right to scare quotes:

(This “hard case” abortion story is exposing the true colors of the Catholic left — also known as the seamless garment Catholics — many of whom will say that abortion should not be outlawed because, gosh, there are times when abortion is actually necessary to save a woman’s life, as this case “proves.”)

Back to Judie:

Here’s one very recent example. A new report…compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, using interviews with 2,767 teens, ages 15 to 19, between 2006 and 2008, reveals that almost 30 percent of those surveyed have already had at least two sexual partners in their brief lifetime.

Not to inject myself into the debate — Pardon my Pun — but I’d had more than two sexual partners by the time I was 19, so either I was a slut, or today’s kids are lazy and really need to put down the PS3 controller.

And — as if that were not evidence enough to suggest a deep-seated problem that has permeated the home, the classroom, the internet and elsewhere —

Wait — they’re having sex in the classroom? When I was in school, that was considered homework.

the study says that 42 percent of never-married teen females and 43 percent of never-married teen males are sexually experienced.

This is worrisome, because an increase in sexual experience means that more evangelical Christians will have a chance to discover they’re gay before they get married and start a megachurch.

Such statistics are appalling, not to mention devastating to those who have played Russian roulette with their bodies.

Which is even more dangerous than that scene in The Deer Hunter, because unlike a revolver with a single bullet, the penis always goes off.

Be that as it may, this latest report seems to become fodder only for those who want more sex instruction in the classroom, improved access to birth control and better availability of abortion. Few in the pro-life movement will ponder these same numbers and begin teaching the facts about the contraceptive connection to disease, death and destruction.

I’m not sure what diseases you can catch from the pill, but you need look no further than Iraq to see all the death and destruction caused by roadside IUDs.

Sacred cows abound in a society blessed with money, fast cars and loose morals, and among them, the most revered is contraception.

As we recently learned, once women have been given the sacred cow of contraception, they naturally and immediately begin to rut like cattle!

But as this grandmother knows all too well…

Nothing better than getting advice on your sex life from Granny.

…there will not be a victory over the direct killing of the preborn child unless and until there is unanimous agreement among the pro-life leadership of our nation that first we have to focus on contraception, discuss it openly and often, and do so armed with as many facts as we can present.

I look forward to the American Life League filing an amicus brief in the first wrongful death suit brought by a spermatozoon inside a Trojan Magnum Twister.

Easy to do? Hardly! Nonetheless, it is an absolute necessity unless we want to be struggling against the surgical abortion beast for another 36 years. Personally, I do not!

Once we’ve eliminated contraception and increased the rate of unwanted pregnancies, the surgical abortion beast should just lay down and die. They we can really roll up our sleeves and start building the Republic of Gilead.

If you want to root out the monster, here’s my prescription for truth:

PROTEST the pill Saturday by witnessing to truth outside a local pharmacy or Planned Parenthood office.

And if you wind up screaming in the face of a woman who was only buying toothpaste and Correctol, just remember…spittle is an excellent humectant, so you’ve saved her a trip to the Beauty aisle.

22 Responses to “Judie! Judie! Judie!”

“Vainglorious” & a moss reference. In the first sentence! Yes!

Is it my imagination, or are ALL opponents of abortion & birth control a bunch of spiteful twits you’d never want even PICTURE having sex?

INTRO: Saturday, June 5th is a special day for preborn babies

“Cinco de Juno” works on so many levels here…

…honest pro-life activism and families committed to ridding this nation of the sexual saturation that is killing the souls of our young people.

Just like jazz and baring ankles of the generation before hers!

The pill kills preborn babies

Does it pre-kill born babies? Can we experiment on Judie, Judie, Judie?

The pill kills the environment

I like my salmon the way I like my Pebbles: Fruity.

The challenge is developing a knack for holding the attention of our fellow citizens long enough to make the point that contraception, regardless of the method, is piercing the heart of family life and destroying the souls of our children.

Cuz there’s no more family- and character-building exercise than telling mom and dad that you’re knocked up and have to leave school.

Just ask Bristol Palin.

which sounds like some sort of farm club for fetuses

I really fucking hate you, Scott.

Bishop Olmsted reminds us that a unique and unrepeatable preborn baby is at the center of this tragic case and his or her murder strikes at the very core of the Gospel of life and the call of Jesus to see His face in those less fortunate.

Basically, Catholic orthodoxy would treat women as cattle.

Sounds familiar, don’t it?

Sacred cows abound in a society blessed with money, fast cars and loose morals, and among them, the most revered is contraception.

And whoomp! There it is!

the surgical abortion beast

Movie Poster Tagline: Look out! It’s coming for YOU!

PROTEST the pill Saturday by witnessing to truth outside a local pharmacy or Planned Parenthood office.

Actually, wouldn’t it make more sense to consume as many of them as possible, thus protecting teenage girls morals, dying adult women, and swishy salmon?

I like the top 100 Catholics of the 20th Century claim. Daily Catholic must have been rapidly running out of people if this twit was there.
“Hmmm, OK we have JPII, John XXIII, Mother Theresa, the rugrats at Fatima, Lech Walesa, Corazon Aquino, Oscar Romero, Papa Ratzi, Cardinal Bernadin, the Taize guys….Hmmm, two more to go. Eh, give it to Judy.”
Honestly that is a list I’d love to see.

Her bio goes on to claim that “Daily Catholic cited her as one of the top 100 Catholics of the 20th century,”

And more recently, one of the top 100 Catholic Has-beens of the 21st.

Fame, so fleeting.

Her bio goes on to claim that “Daily Catholic cited her as one of the top 100 Catholics of the 20th century,”

She probably would have hit the top twenty, if not for Vatican II.

histrogeek, I looked around for such list and found a link:

http://www.dailycatholic.org/top100.htm

But… surprise! The new web page starts with:

“The Top 100 Catholics of the Twentieth Century was published prior to receiving the grace to realize the church spawned at Vatican II is not the true Catholic Church, (…) Therefore, in accordance with the truths and traditions of holy Mother Church, we completely disavow the list of the Top 100 Catholics of the Twentieth Century and have therefore removed the profiles from the site.”

Poor Judie! :(

Anyway, the first 5 of the top 100 can be read at http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/top100s.htm and they are:
1. Pope John Paul II
2. Mother Teresa
3. Blessed Padre Pio
4. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
5. Blessed Sister Marie Faustina Kowalska

They lost me after the second! No idea of who the #3, #4 and #5 are!

The never-married addendum to teenager creeps me out. So she wants teenagers to be married?

And again, not letting your patient die equals excommunication, but child molestation is a-okay.

Her bio goes on to claim that “Daily Catholic cited her as one of the top 100 Catholics of the 20th century,”

Damn it! I was this close…

This “hard case” abortion story is exposing the true colors of the Catholic left — also known as the seamless garment Catholics

O’Reilly…you made the pants too long.

I love that Judie is citing being listed as a great Catholic by a sedevacantist rag. That’s rich.

They lost me after the second! No idea of who the #3, #4 and #5 are!

#4 Archbishop Fulton Sheen!

You don’t know the good Dr Sheen?

He was one of the first televangelists.

I found myself singing “Every Sperm Is Sacred” to myself as I read it… It’s become far too difficult to tell the difference between parody and those being parodied.

I grew up Catholic, went to the schools. My great aunt is a nun–and a liberal Obama-voting, health care-supporting nun at that. This is what I like to call the Taliban wing of the church.

“I found myself singing “Every Sperm Is Sacred” to myself as I read it…”

So did I. Go figure.

Semi-serious question: Does anyone (uh, besides these idiots) really think that access to safe, effective, inexpensive birth control is a detriment to women?

It seems to me that these people would actually be happier if people really did ‘fuck like animals’ I.E. if a female came into estrous once a month, males bashed each other over the head trying to get to her, and after a week we all went back to watching American Idol.
Unfortunately (for them) human sexuality is not like that (for whatever reasons and praise be to whatever powers exist) so they hate sexuality in general and female sexuality in particular.

“…honest pro-life activism and families committed to ridding this nation of the sexual saturation that is killing the souls of our young people.”

I wish. May I have some more saturation, please?

Oh wow! Daily Catholic is even more wingnutty than I imagined. Check out this from their disavowal.

“While issues published prior to the feast of St. Teresa of Avila on October 15, 2001 may reflect how we were blinded by the spin of the great deceiver Karol Wojtyla.”

Talk about a hard fall from grace, JPII went from number 1 to being the “great deceiver.” I take it back, Judi totally belongs with these clowns, though she ought to disavow them if she wants to avoid excommunication. Papa Ratzi won’t take too kindly to people who claim he’s not Pope, no matter how much he might be on their side theologically.

Odd. I looked over the issues that ALL concern themselves with and couldn’t find any reference to adoption or health services.

Y’know, my feeling has always been that if you’re going to live in the 3rd century C.E. you ought to address your arguments to the 3rd century C.E., and leave all questions which have arisen since the invention of the microscope to the people who don’t.

Random but related question: Does the ol-time rad periodical The Catholic Worker still publish? The website is somewhat ambivalent.

So Judie only had 3 kids. How did she manage it, if “contraception, regardless of the method” is a no-no she’s been promulgating since Woodstock?? Her old man was out of town a lot? According to her little bio on RenewAmerica, the mister has been involved in anti-choice activism since then too. Maybe they spent so much energy manning the barricades, lettering signs, packing school boards, blindsiding congresspeople, and rendering the lives of Letters editors in local newspapers unlivable, that they hadn’t the stuff left for rumpy-bumpy when they got home.

Ah, the Sixties. You just can’t get modern youth to COMMIT like that anymore.

Does this creepy woman’s bio say how many children she’s had? She ought to have dropped at least 20 babies, with maybe 50 grandkids.

My catholic mom had 6 kids, till she wised up and started using contraception. HER sister had 10 kids, and then she found out the church wouldn’t help her or her kids in any way escape her alcoholic-abusive husband.

It’s hard to get more intellectually dishonest than someone belonging to some militant, clipart-based Catholic offshoot claiming to oppose contraception for “health reasons.”

Been away from the computer for a few weeks and now catching up, but here’s the top 100 Catholics list:
http://web.archive.org/web/20000301164921/http://www.dailycatholic.org/top100.htm

Judie even makes the top 50! Before people like Lech Walesa, JFK, Oscar Romero, Bill Donohue, JRR Tolkien, Bing Crosby and Alan Keyes, but behind the Domino’s Pizza guy and a number of people covering up sex scandals.

Something to say?