• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!



    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Surviving the Holidays, Survivalist Style

Posted by s.z. on December 3rd, 2010

For many people, holidays mean spending time with family members. Usually this is time spent playing games, making cookies, caroling, decorating, airing long-simmering grievances, engaging in drunken brawls, and possibly covering up homicides.

But Human Events Online has a series designed to help you use your holiday family time more productively: to prepare for the apocalypse. We join the program already in progress.

Preparing for the End of the World: Making Your Family Tough
by Skip Coryell

In the opening article of this series I painted the following picture:

Close your eyes and imagine a world without electricity: no Fox News,

Okay, so it’s got its good points.

no facebook, no email, no Blackberry, no cold drinks, no heat in the winter, no automobiles, no food and no way to cook it even if you had it.

Yes, without electricity, combustion engines don’t work, seeds refuse to grow and fire declines to work. So, take a minute to thank Reddi Kilowatt for all he does for you!

It’s the end of the world as we know it (TEOTWAWKI) and you and your family are going to die.

But on the plus side, you can skip the usual Christmas shopping this year, and you don’t have to worry about how Wikileaks has doomed America by revealing that our diplomats talk about other countries behind their backs.

Through all my research on preparing for societal collapse, I found a dearth of information on preparing the family’s mind and relationship for hard times. So that’s what I want to focus on today, because if your family doesn’t have the will to live, it won’t matter how much “stuff” you have stored in your basement. You’re going to die.

Let me be blunt: without the will to live, you and your family will be killed for the stuff in your basement by people who just want it more. You know, people like Skip.

Think of it in terms of self defense. You can be carrying the largest handgun in the world, but if you don’t have the balls to use it, then you’re going to die.

Yes, if you are starving to death because the lack of electricity has ended photosynthesis, if you don’t have the balls to shoot your neighbor with your large handgun so you can eat him, you’re going to die. It’s that simple.

In the Marine Corps I learned about teamwork, loyalty, and honor. I learned that if one team member is weak, the whole team suffers. Now, as a husband and father, I’ve learned that my family is a team; it has weak links, and it’s only as strong as its weakest team member. Those of you with family know this to be true.

This holiday season, determine who that weakest team member may be. It could be Grandma, since her reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and so she will be of little use as a sniper when it’s time to pick off Chinese invaders. Or it might be your spouse, whose ogling of that comely neighbor demonstrates that he or she posseses a frightening lack of family loyalty. But it’s probably your teenage son or daughter, since teens are notoriously annoying.

Surviving a societal collapse as a lone wolf will be nearly impossible. You’ll need people around you who are trustworthy and loyal and prepared. That’s where the family comes in. Think of yourselves as a military unit. Depending on your size, you could be a fire team or an entire squad. If you live near extended family, you could be talking about an entire platoon!

Start planning a secret second family or marry a few sister wives, and you might be in charge of an entire regiment!

The family, even in the best of times, can be an asset or a liability. I have two teenagers at home, and, as much as I love them, they can be a real pain in the butt!

I told you that Greg and Marsha were probably the weak links in your family!

I try to prepare them for hard times, but sometimes I just don’t know if they’re getting it. At times they seem spoiled, lacking in perspective and common sense. As a matter of routine, I give them an hour of chores per day. They complain, whine and moan as if they’re being marched off to the gallows.

So, I marched them off to the gallows. It was for the good of the platoon.

In today’s world, their undisciplined, disrespectful behavior is a nuisance that causes me stress. After societal collapse, their immaturity could well mean the death of a loved one. No, I’m not being overly dramatic. Today I ask them to wash the dishes, but after society collapses, I’ll hand them a gun and send them up on the roof as a sentry from midnight to 2AM. If they shirk their duty, the whole family could be slaughtered in its sleep.

Just something to think about when Wally does a crappy job doing the dishes.

Why am saying this? Because there are things you can be doing right now to prepare the minds of your spouse and kids.

The Chinese, evil though they may be, have excellent brain washing technology. While expensive, think of it as an investment in your future.

Anyway, Skip has a lot more to say on the subject, but let me leave you with one last tip:

In many cases, just getting on the same page in regards to preparing for societal collapse can improve your relationship. It takes a long time and a lot of hard work to make all the preparations necessary, but, after a while, you might even start having fun. Case in point, my wife and I once went on a date to a militia meeting. We had a good time and met a lot of nice people.

That’s right, fellows: a militia meeting makes a swell date! Any wife, sweetheart, or cute girl whom you want to impress will be thrilled to that you cared enough to take her to an Aryan Brotherhood meeting rather than the same old dinner and a movie. And it will help you to survive the end of the world, so it’s probably tax-deductible.

Well, that’s all the time we have for today, but keep preparing for the apocalypse, and be sure to wish everyone a Merry End of the World.

Time for “The World o’Crap” Church

Posted by s.z. on October 14th, 2010

Yea, my brothers and sisters, it’s time for the World o’Crap ministry to become a formal church so that we can spread forth our political opinions and then not pay taxes! The AFA told me to do it. And we have the assurance of David Barton that it’s all perfectly legal, in that the Constitution says churches shouldn’t pay taxes; and anyway, the IRS is bunch of pussies.

Here’s the story:

No Need for Pastors to Fear the IRS

A Christian constitutional expert thinks the Internal Revenue Service’s lack of response to a recent initiative shows there is no longer any reason for pastors to be silent on political issues when standing behind the pulpit. (See earlier story)

Current law prohibits pastors from speaking on politics or endorsing a political candidate, but David Barton of WallBuilders says the IRS’s intimidation of removing a church’s tax exemption status is unconstitutional. Even though some pastors have intentionally crossed the line, Barton does not think the IRS wants to take them to court because it may lose.

“The IRS doesn’t have any interest in doing this because if they do, I believe they know they are going to lose. And if they lose, you have 370,000 pastors in America who suddenly find out that there’s no restriction on them,” Barton suggests.

The WallBuilders president explains that churches are guaranteed tax exemption status under the Constitution, but he believes many pastors are afraid to speak about politics because they fear they will lose their letter of tax exemption.

“You cannot lose your tax exemption as a church because as a church, you have a constitutional standing for tax exemption,” he points out. “So with that basis, losing your letter means absolutely nothing — and that’s something pastors are now figuring out.”

Okay, as you may know, David Barton is a “constitutional expert” in that he has a B.A. from Oral Roberts U., and has done his own “research.” That’s it. Legitimate scholars and legal experts are less than impressed with his credentials, but the Republican Party and Glenn Beck think he’s the cat’s meow. So, even though I couldn’t find anything in the Constitution that said that churches are guaranteed tax-exemption status (or that the IRS says that you can preach politics and still call yourself a church), I would definitely take his advice to flout the IRS.

Here’s some background on Mr. Barton. You may note that he is a “Dominionist,” and believes that Biblical Law should be the law of the land (you know, with all the stoning disobedient children and homosexuals and such), which is probably why Pastor Cary, one of his acolytes, titled his kid’s TV show “Passage to Dominion.”

Anyway, if you want to join our new church, just send a tax-deductible donation.

A Postcard to My Friends

Posted by s.z. on September 19th, 2010

Hi, everybody! Sorry to be MIA for so long, but between aging (and ailing) parents; the never-ending supply of pound puppies, orphan kittens, and unwanted pets in general; and my general lack of time and engery, I haven’t had a chance to even power up the ol’ 1990′s computer for two weeks. So, let me take a moment now to thank everyone for the very kind birthday wishes (special thanks to Scott for the wonderful tribute and that lovely photo of Ann Coulter – and a reminder to him that HIS birthday is coming up next month. . . ). And happy birthday to M., D., Ann, and everyone else I missed. (I promise to make it up to you by finding those elusive nude photos of Ann Coulter. Or maybe the very popular “Sarah Palin breast implants” that Google has heard do much about.)

Anyway, I only have a few minutes before I have to do various disgusting things (and I have no time at all to edit, proof, or spell check), but here are a few odds ‘n ends that may prove enlightening. Or not.

First, some notes I made while persuing Town Hall a couple of weeks ago. (Sure, the info is now passe, but it does have nostalgia value.)

Remember Little Ben Shapiro, who was once the Jimmy Osmond of Town Hall? I didn’t think so. But he does ask an important question: “Is Barack Hussein Obama a Muslim?”

So, take it away, Ben!

Is Barack Hussein Obama a Moslem?


Good job, Ben! Best column you ever wrote! We’ll try to check back with you in another decade or so and see how the career is progressing.

Now, let’s hear from the lesser Limbaugh:

My new book, “Crimes Against Liberty,” has just been released, and in many of my radio interviews, hosts have been asking me whether I believe Barack Obama is a Christian or a Muslim. Though I don’t address that subject in my book, I’ll take a stab at it here.

The book I wrote with Scott was released a while ago, and so many of my imaginary friends have been asking me if I believe that the Tea Party set actually believes in that silly “freedom of religion” thing. And although I don’t address that subject in my book, I just wanted to mention that I wrote one. And you can still buy it!

And now, an important notice from Dr. Mike:

This coming year I am planning a series of legal challenges to universities that have launched “Queer Resource Centers” and “LGBTQIA Centers” on campus. The goal is not to shut the centers down but, instead, to force them to present issues in a more balanced fashion.

By “balanced,” Dr. Mike means “Force them to say that gays are perverts who are goiung to hell, and that trangendered individuals are somehow responsible for ruining my life.”

When I launch these challenges the “liberal” blogs will say I am secretly gay. That is the way they always respond. It’s a silly personal insult revealing nothing more than the unfortunate fact that many gays secretly hate themselves. I will simply ignore such insults and proceed with the lawsuits.

So, Dr. Mike reads “liberal” blogs like this one that poke fun at him! My life’s work has been all worth while!

Now, just a snippet from a column that should have been must-snark reading for everyone when it came out a couple of weeks ago: Thomas “Kidney’s R’ Us” Sowell on why insurance is immoral.

The gist of his arguement is that when people have insurance, they are motivated to do stupid stuff, like buy houses near water or get brain tumors.

Television reporter John Stossel has told how he got government insurance “dirt cheap” to insure a home only a hundred feet from the ocean. Eventually, the ocean moved in and did a lot of damage, but the taxpayer-subsidized insurance covered the costs of fixing it. Four years later, the ocean came in again, and this time it took out the whole house. But the taxpayer-subsidized government insurance paid to replace the whole house.

And the moral of this story is that Stossel should reimburse the American tax payers for every dime he took from them … unless he wants to be known as a big, greedy hypocrite.

Well, Thomas says that the moral is that by insuring Stossel’s house, it encouraged him make stupid choices, thus leading to his career in moralizing and porn. Per Thomas, this is the same reason that we have poor people (because welfare encourages them to not to be born into the Bush dynasty) and why there is a homeless problem (because life on the streets is made so very tempting by, um, the fact that we have streets).

We also hear a lot of talk about “the uninsured,” for whose benefit we are to drastically change the whole medical-care system. But income data show that many of those uninsured people have incomes from which they could easily afford insurance. But they can live it up instead, because the government has mandated that hospital emergency rooms treat everyone.

All of this is a large hazard to taxpayers. And it is not very moral.

And that is why we should, in fact, just do away with insurance for everyone. Because smart people will never face a disaster big enough to wipe out their savings, and good people will never need medical care. That’s the only moral way you can look at your neighbor bleeding in the gutter and just walk over him.

And now, a quick look at the latest big news in publishing:

And here’s a bit of the

Written in her own refreshingly candid voice, AMERICA BY HEART will include selections from classic and contemporary readings that have moved her-from the nation’s founding documents to great speeches, sermons, letters, literature and poetry, biography, and even some of her favorite songs and movies.

Yes, AMERICA BY HEART will include the nation’s founding documents, written in Sarah’s refreshingly candid voice. Plus, the plot of “Red Dawn,” as only Sarah can tell it. Anyway, if you have the inclination, share with us what you think some of these documents, songs, movies, etc. will be like. Maybe you’ll get published too!

Today’s Sermon: For Which Videos Would Jesus Pretend to Be a Ho?

Posted by s.z. on July 25th, 2010

In his latest column, Doug Giles says that the media should stop mentioning the “Sherrod Charade,” and should instead focus on race-related stories where Brietbart and Fox News aren’t protrayed as hacks, nit-wits, and agenda-driven ninnies.

Like what, you ask? ACORN, Doug replies.

How that $8.5 billion story, rife with money laundering, tax fraud, home loans for whorehouses and 13-year-old El Salvadoran sex slaves—complete with a faux pimp and prostitute and undercover videos—escaped the BSM’s notice is beyond me. Oh, and not to mention that ACORN was pretty handy dandy in registering felons and dead people to vote for their Euro-Socialist wannabes.

Shorter Doug: Pay more attention to my daughter’s stint as a pretend prostitute, damn it!

Because it is Sunday and Doug is a minister, let’s do what Doug wants.

So, here’s the basic ACORN “Brietbart video” story:

During the 2006 mid-term elections, political controversy emerged over voter registration fraud by four ACORN employees. In 2009, selectively edited videos were released by two conservative activists using a hidden camera to elicit damaging responses from low-level ACORN employees that falsely appeared to advise them how to hide prostitution activities and avoid taxes.

And, courtesy of Pammie Geller, here’s a photo of Hannah, her pimp, and a john. You’re welcome, Doug.

The Cat Report

Posted by s.z. on July 13th, 2010

It’s been a busy time in pet rescue, so I really want to thank Scott for making my girlish dreams come true by staking Bill O’Reilly’s column. His post regarding Bertie Wooster’s stupider brother’s latest offering was equally enchanting.

So, Scott, here’s what I did in your honor these past few days:

Saturday: Adopted out two cats at the weekly pet adoption event at Petsmart. Took in an 11-year-old cat whose owner had died after the owner’s daughter found out that the cat was sending her to the hospital with asthma attacks. The cat was pretty mellow, so I left her in one of the empty cages at Petsmart and put one of my foster cats in the other empty cage. So, I’m down one in net cat worth.

Sunday: Made up for all the cleaning I didn’t do Saturday while at Petsmart. Took in a 3-month-old kitten who had been given to some students as a wedding present after her owners were threatened with eviction for having a pet. So, cat net worth is now the same as before.

Monday: Was called by a woman who found a 6-week-old kitten in a field near her home. Told her we were full and to call the municipal shelter. She said that she already had, and they were full and so it would be euthanized. So, took the kitten and put it with the two I’ve been bottle feeding (a pure white boy and a white girl with tan and black on her head) Later was called by somebody on vacation who found 6 little kittens in their RV (apparently the mother cat had moved her kittens to the RV before they left home, and the people didn’t notice until they were here, 10 hours away). Said I would take the kittens. Turns out that the kittens are about 5 weeks old, but happy to eat canned cat food mixed with KMR. 3 are Siamese-esqe, 1 is white and tan, 1 is black and white, and 1 is black. My net cat worth is now up 7, and soon I will corner the market on kittens!!!

I’ll post photos as soon as I get to it. I did have to buy a new mouse after a cat chewed up my old one (yeah, cats are not into figurative naming), so I am wary about introducing them to any other electronic devices, but I need to take pictures now, while the kittens are cute and adorable and not yet evil.

Oh, and Lacey is still a big pain and the rest of the cats are still destroying all I hold dear. And that’s the report for this week.

To Do List

Posted by s.z. on July 9th, 2010

Please adopt this dog. She is driving me crazy.

And while you’re at it, please adopt this kitten. She is really sweet and deserves a home.

And while you are doing my bidding. please scoff at this guy and the crappy paper that publishes him. Here’s some evidence as to why I’m requesting this action:

Why Obama is a cultural Muslim

President Obama is betraying the Jews. He is a cultural Muslim whose sympathies lie with the Islamic world in its life-death struggle against Israel. Unless American Jews wake up and speak out against Mr. Obama’s pro-Arab, anti-Israel policies, the Jewish state faces a possible nuclear war – and even annihilation.

And please pray for the soul of He needs help.

Today is the 4th of July. I plan to kill something.

Dear Secular Students: How many millions must be murdered in the name of godless government before you conclude that you might be wrong?

Also, consider praying that he gets medical help.

UPDATE: Links fixed. Sorry about that.

Airheads For American and Stuff

Posted by s.z. on July 8th, 2010

WorldNetDaily brings us this major breaking story:

NBC comedian: I love and trust Sarah Palin

Oooh, so Jay Leno is leaving his wife and taking up with Sarah? And he’s lost mind? This IS a big story!

‘People make fun of her because they’re afraid of her’

Well, not really. It’s true we were afraid when she occupied a position of power and made decisions that impacted on people’s lives, because you never want to have unqualified people in these jobs. But we made fun of her because she was clueless. But now she’s just a “celebrity,” and the only people afraid of her are her staff and family. But we still delight in making fun of her, because she’s so delightfully mockable.

Former “Saturday Night Live” star Victoria Jackson

So SHE’s the “NBC comedian”? She was a SNL cast member when the Gipper was in office, but I hardly think NBC still wants to claim her. Hey, it’s time to put a call into the FTC and report an instance of bait and switch.

“I trust Sarah Palin,” said Jackson, who will be taking part in WND’s upcoming “Taking America Back” national conference in Miami. “People make fun of her because they’re afraid of her, because she’s honest. Wow! What a new concept! An honest politician. I love her.”

I hope the two of you will be very happy together. And you do make a great couple, both of you being brainless and all.

In a July 4th New York radio interview with WND’s Aaron Klein, who will also take part at the Miami event, Jackson said, “I’m close to the conservatives on the radio and TV because those are the only people I’m exposed to.”

I understand there are vaccines now that can prevent the exposure from resulting in full-blown infection.

“I feel like Rush Limbaugh should be the president,” she noted. “He’s saying what we believe in better than anyone else.”

Well, we already knew that Victoria was a little dim, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised when she makes statements like this. But you’d think even she would have the sense not to admit publicly that she wants an opiate-addicted dropout on his fourth marriage for President, because he says the kind of hateful, racist, sadistic, misogynistic stuff she believes in.

Jackson also has high praise for Glenn Beck of both TV and radio fame.

Of course she does.

As WND previously reported, Jackson released a YouTube video that’s gone viral,

We told YouTube to get its flu shots!

. . . warning the American public in song, “There’s a communist living in the White House.”

That would be the robotic Josef Stalin who is still stored in Dick Cheney’s secret bunker under the White House. Robotic Stalin came from the future to help Sarah Palin marry Chuck Connor, and thus cause the end of humanity.

Jackson, who noted she had never been involved in politics before Obama was elected, told Klein, “I don’t really care about little things, but this is a big thing!”

Jackson has long been known as a Hollywood conservative whiner (“Wah, I’m being blacklisted because of my beliefs and my lack of talent”). But it may be true that she only recently became involved in politics. After all, she never even voted until she was in her forties. As she confided to Breitbart, she was finally driven to the voting booth because she didn’t like a Clinton sound bit that she presumably saw on SNL.

It was that haughty look, lack of shame, and zero repentance combined with that asinine sentence…the meaning of the word ‘is’ .[…] So, I voted Clinton out. My vote counted. Bush won.

See, Victoria did know what “is,” means, and she didn’t think that anybody stupider than her should be President. Unfortunately, Clinton wasn’t running in that election since he’d already served two terms, but Victoria’s vote still counted and Bush did win. And that, kids, is how we got the worst president in modern times.

And, even more telling, Victoria never voted prior to 2000 because she didn’t know how. Seriously.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know where to go. I never saw a sign that said, “Vote Here.” I didn’t know how to “register” or even that I had to register. I didn’t know what the candidates stood for or how to find out.

I guess this is electoral Darwinism in action.

But back to Victoria’s interview with Klein and her new-found political activism:

She said she wanted to find a clever way to spread the message about the communist threat Obama poses, and thought to herself, “Well, maybe if we could cloak it in entertainment or comedy maybe we could reach people who won’t read the Drudge Report or watch Fox News.”

So, she’s aiming her message at people who are even too stupid for Drudge and Fox News? Is it safe to tie up their scant brain cells watching a You Tube video when they might need them to control respiration?

Jackson thinks Christians and political conservatives are being blacklisted in Hollywood,

Okay, so she’s still a big Hollywood conservative whiner. What else is there for her and Patricia Heaton to do?

. . .and suggests many people are even afraid to say the word “communist” in a public forum.

I think what she means is that many people are afraid to call the President a communist in a public forum, because it causes doubts about their sanity.

When she appeared on “The O’Reilly Factor” on the Fox News Channel, she said it was her priority to get that specific word uttered, fearing that “Bill O’Reilly will cut me off after the first sentence.”

Once again, Victoria was confusing real life with SNL, and what she feared was that Dan Ackroyd would call her an ignorant slut.

“I’m very proud that I was one of the first who was brave enough to tell the truth,” she said. “It’s kind of like ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes.’ It’s like it takes an airhead to say, ‘Look, the emperor’s naked!’ You know what I’m saying?”

Yes, honey, we do. Congratulations on being the Airhead who Saved the World From Naked Commies. I just hope you don’t have to fight Glen Beck for the title.

Anyway, we assume that you’ll get more of Victoria’s brilliant observations about politics and probably some of her singing if you attend that “Taking America Back to the Middle Ages” conference. But she’s not the only fluff head who will be speaking! Besides Michele Bachmann and Ann Coulter, whom we mentioned earlier, the conference also includes “Hannah Giles, heroine of the ACORN sting.”

You remember Hannah, Doug’s dim daughter who pretended to be a whore in order to break state wire-tapping laws so she could disenfrachise black voters and, um, get on TV. Anyway, she’s now a “young celebrity-activist.” Farah Fawcett WorldNetDaily promies that she will “bring to the conference a combination of insight, new ideas about tactics and strategies for taking America back and plenty of fun.”

Insight about what, you might ask? Well, not about ACORN, because she doesn’t know anything about it, as Scott pointed out back in the day. And not even about conservatism, because even though she was given a gig at Town Hall, all she was able to convince anyone of is that thinking isn’t her forte. Remember this gem from Hannah?

Sen. Clinton presumptuously bellowed from her podium, “republicans should hold a press conference, apologize to the country for what they have put us through and then decide they are not going to run.”

Now, lets take a moment to analyze and discuss this concept that Sen. Hillary Clinton just birthed: She wants the Republicans to hand the 2008 election to the Democrats. Sounds like a great idea, if you are a fan of communism, and an admirer of men like Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez.

And when a person as influential and well-known as Sen. Hillary Clinton suggests that the Republicans forfeit their place in the competitive American political arena, she is asking them to submit. America has never submitted: Not to the British during the Revolutionary War, not to the Japanese after the bombings of Pearl Harbor, not to the torments of communism and certainly not to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. If America has not submitted before, then how can (and why is) Sen. Clinton asking at least half of the country to do so now? Due to the constant presence of underlying dogma, it is absolutely essential that the American people read deeper and understand what is being said and done during the fast times of presidential campaigning. After all, the free and prosperous American life depends on it.

Yeah, reading and understanding is essential and stuff. Thanks, Hannah.

But hey, even if Hannah isn’t exactly a rocket scientist of the right, I’m sure she can add “plenty of fun” to the conference — especially if she dresses up in hooker threads again for her presentation.

Hannah and Pimp Stut Their Stuff

Classy, PBS-Like Foreign Post

Posted by s.z. on June 29th, 2010

In an effort to add some international savoir-faire to our blog, I decided to post a recent article from a French news source. You can use it both to improve your foreign language skills and to gain some Continental perspective on current events.

The piece I have selected is from an online publication called “Pure People.” For those of you who don’t read French, I will try to translate as we go along. However, I must warn you that WordPress apparently metamorphized into a new species while I was trying to post this, so some of the prose may have been mangled during the transition. Read at your own risk.

David Caruso : Avec ses enfants, il oublie tous ses soucis judiciaires !

David Caruso: With his children, he forgets all his legal worries

Chaussé de Crocs, le sympathique mais peu souriant acteur David Caruso s’accorde des moments de qualité avec ses enfants pour chasser de sa vie ses récents problèmes…

Chased by crocodiles, the sympathetic but little smiling actor David Caruso grants a few quality moments to his children in an effort to drive from his life his recent problems

Bien embêté par son ex-femme qui lui réclame des sommes considérables, la star de la série Les Experts : Miami a décidé d’emmener dîner ses enfants…

Really bugged by his ex-wife who wants a lot of money from him or she goes to the police, the star of the series “The Experts: Miami” decides to eat his children.

En tenue terriblement décontractée, David Caruso a préparé son fils Marquez Anthony et sa fille Paloma Raquel pour sortir… Celui qui incarne à l’écran Horatio Caine leur a offert un bon repas au restaurant Carney’s train à Studio City, en les inondant de son amour… Un vrai papa poule !

Looking terribly laid-back and icky, David Caruso has prepared his son Marquee Anthony and his daughter Palm Tree to leave the house. The guy who incarnates on the screen Horatio Caine is giving the kids a good meal at the Studio City restaurant “Meat”, where he floods them with his love, a true father hen and a big pussy.

Epaulé par une nounou, le comédien de 54 ans s’est bien occupé de ses deux adorables bambins qui aiment eux aussi passer du temps avec leur papa, sans se soucier de la déchirure de leur famille…

Helped by a nanny who does all the real work, the 54-year-old comedian cares for his two adorable kids, who are forced to pretend that they like spending time with their papa, pretending not to worry about the rending of their family by their creepy father, who destroyed their home with his weird sexual practices, his overweening ego, and his head filled with poop.

There, wasn’t that educational? I hope you have found amusant this tres gentil post about un dickhead formidable.

Snaphots of Sarah

Posted by s.z. on June 29th, 2010

Last week AOL News did a piece about Sarah Palin’s official photographer, by Sarah’s biographer (“Shushannah Walshe is the co-author of “Sarah from Alaska: The Sudden Rise and Brutal Education of a New Conservative Superstar”). For those of you who don’t subscribe to AOL (which, I imagine, would be all of you), here are the highlights of the article.

Palin’s Private Photographer Has Seen It All

And that’s why she drinks to forget

By Shushannah Walshe

Shealah Craighead works in pictures, not words, but she’s got a lot of good Sarah Palin stories. Here’s one from this winter:

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Palin is spending it at the Daytona 500. As Palin is greeted by the usual crush of fans, Craighead and other members of Palin’s retinue are eyeing another celebrity in attendance, a certain dreamy jazz musician-slash-actor.

Afterward, Craighead can’t resist the opportunity for some girl talk.

“You just sat next to Harry Connick Jr. for 10 minutes! Isn’t he so dreamy?”

“Isn’t he!?” replies Palin, laughing.

Wow, that IS a great Sarah Palin story! (Seriously, that’s the whole story.) Not only do we learn something new and unexpected about Sarah (that Harry Connick Jr. would sit next to her for 10 minutes without excusing himself), we also discover that Sarah’s biographer has to really work to find a story that make Sarah seem half-way human.

(As Ms. Walshe observes, Sarah “has a reputation of chewing through even loyal aides and advisers.” She adds that “the less-than-a-handful of people in her current inner circle seem to genuinely like Palin as a person and enjoy being around her,” but frankly, we find it very hard to believe that Sarah found 3 or 4 people who like her.)

As we learn later, photog Whitehead purposefully tries not to learn anything about Sarah, because she’s afraid if she does, her contempt will affect how she photographs her subject. Here, I’ll let her tell you:

In keeping with her preferred approach, Craighead never talks politics or religion with Palin. If other aides broach those topics with Palin while she’s present, she tries to excuse herself. Of course, that’s not always possible in the rapid-fire world she’s working in.

Craighead says she still recalls the infamous prank call on the Palin campaign from a Canadian comedy duo who duped Palin into believing she was speaking to the president of France. As staffers swung into damage-control mode, things got “awkward” for Craighead. “Those are the moments when I’m like, ‘I’m out. You shouldn’t hear this,’” she says.

Yes, Sergeant Schulz, you know NOTHING! Keep your head in the sand long enough and not only won’t you realize that Sarah is an idiot, the lack of oxygen to your brain will probably make her even seem smart!

“I don’t judge my clients on what they’ve said or didn’t say or their beliefs or non-beliefs or their actions or non-actions, because that’s not my job,” Craighead adds. “If you don’t like this person for whatever reason, you might tend to photograph it in a light that’s negative. You might publish some unflattering photographs … or take photos from an angle that might be unflattering to anybody. At the end of the day I don’t want that to even be a possibility.”

Yes, if you spend anytime talking to Sarah, you would probably photograph her in a light like this:


Anyway, Craighead, who followed Sarah around as she campaigned for VP and then went along on the “Going Rogue” tour, has snapped about 500,000 pictures of Ms. Palin. What for, you may ask?

Everyone who had a copy of “Going Rogue” signed by Palin was able to buy a snapshot by Craighead memorializing the moment.

So, it’s like when you go to the amusement park and they take your photo as you puke your guts out on the roller coaster, and then they try to sell you those shots.

But the vast majority of her photos have been kept from public consumption, retained for some as-yet-undetermined use — perhaps a Palin 2012 website, or an exhibit in a future Palin Presidential Library?

Or perhaps Whitehead is trying to steal Sarah’s soul (as a public service), and it just isn’t working (because obviously hasn’t got one).

Or, maybe if the Presidential Library doesn’t pan out, the photos can be used as part of Sarah’s beatification . . .

The throngs of adoring followers who turned out for Palin’s book tour, Craighead says, was an intense thing to witness and photograph. “People would come through the line after waiting for hours. Sometimes the line moved so quickly that they weren’t able to get in a conversation, but they would just want to touch her and some people would want to pray with her,” Craighead says. “It’s just a whole religious aspect around the governor in itself in the way people reacted to her thinking that maybe she has a higher power.”

And, that, folks, is the scariest thing I’ve read all day.

Anyway, if you want to see some of the book-signing crowd, Whitehead has a gallery online. As you look through it, you can just see the people reacting to Sarah’s higher power.

Let Them Drink Tea*

Posted by s.z. on June 23rd, 2010

*Or, The Conservative Intellectual Elite Should Meet American Thinker.com.

It seems that the Conservative Elite had a garden party last week, and somehow World o’Crap’s invitation got lost. But let’s read about it anyway, won’t we?

The Party, in Exile

THAT the e-mailed dinner party invitation warned recipients not to forward “due to security reasons” lent the evening a frisson of intrigue, even danger.

I think that Emily Post says that if you’re going to use email instead of the proper engraved vellum note paper to invite people to a party, the least you can do is to add a “security reasons” caveat to give it that upper-crust cachet.

But here in a tiki-lantern-lighted backyard garden in northwest Washington last Saturday night, the only palpable threat was the leaden humidity.

“We’re originally from Canada,” the hostess, Danielle Crittenden Frum, declared, throwing her slender arms up in the air.

“We still haven’t quite realized that in D.C., garden parties are meant for September, not June.”

Translation: “Despite living here for years, we’re not bright enough to know that summer is hot – but we try to make up for it by being slender.”

Otherwise, the ambience at this intimate cocktail and buffet in honor of the Somalian-born activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali — a woman who faced death threats even before she wrote a film that led to the murder of its director, Theo van Gogh — was one of ease.

It’s so nice to see conservatives enjoying themselves in their native habitat, the cocktail party.

“Nice to see you,” total strangers said upon introduction, as if fearing the failure to recognize someone possibly met on a previous occasion. Or perhaps in certain Washington circles people assume they already know everyone else. Either way, here at the stately Wesley Heights home of the former Bush speechwriter, David (“axis of evil”) Frum, and his wife, the writer Ms. Frum, nearly everyone did. Far from the typical New York book party, this was more a bunkering of the conservative intellectual elite, a group that domineered its way through the Bush years but is now sidelined, a somewhat baffled shadow of its former blustery self.

Yes, it is sad to see this species on its way to extinction. I remember just six or seven years ago, when the Axi of Evil used to run wild and free across most of Northern America.

Whither the conservative establishment in today’s bilious political landscape? Certainly the typical Tea Party denizen, with his “I Wanna Party Like It’s 1773” T-shirt and “You Lie!” trucker hat, would seem out of place on the Frums’ well-tended grounds, nibbling chicken skewers and mini-B.L.T.’s.

They would seem out of place because, well, they weren’t invited. Who wants uncouth yokels like the Tea Partiers at a classy shindig?

On hand was a coterie of commentators, more in summer-frock mode than Fox News attire — Laura Ingraham, Mona Charen, Meghan Cox Gurdon,

Meghan Cox Gurdon, America’s Worst Mother, was there!? Now we feel really bad about not being invited!

. . . and Barbara Amiel, the wife of the disgraced media baron Conrad Black, now incarcerated at a Florida prison.

Yeah, the prison time is one of the drawbacks of being part of the conservative intellectual elite.

Also milling about the white-painted porch and leafy garden were the “independent” gay journalists Jonathan Rauch and James Kirchick and members of the disenchanted left, most notably the contrarian in chief Christopher Hitchens.

Come on, even though Hitchens was a Marxist wacko back in the day, since at least 9/11 he’s been a Bush-supporting wingnut scaredy-baby, so the law says that the conservatives have to claim Hitchens as one of their own.

But the majority of guests occupied a newly precarious purgatory. Among those on the waning right was the host, Mr. Frum, who welcomed everyone with brief, glowing remarks about the guest of honor, using words such as “strength,” “courage” and “intelligence.” Mr. Frum lost his salaried post at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank, in March, after calling the passage of health care legislation the Republican party’s “Waterloo.” The institute denied any connection between the two events, but Mr. Frum’s column elicited a ferocious slap from the conservative blogosphere.

Sure, the conservative blogosphere slaps like a girl, but when it pouts and flounces it can really make its pique known.

Meanwhile, The Wall Street Journal editorial page witheringly described its former employee this way: “Mr. Frum now makes his living as the media’s go-to basher of fellow Republicans.”

Hell hath no fury like a Wall Street Journal scorned.

Also present was The Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker, prom-girl pretty and winner of a Pulitzer this spring for “gracefully sharing the experiences and values that lead her to unpredictable conclusions,” including a rebuke of Sarah Palin.

Kathleen won a Pulitzer this spring? And she won it for graceful sharing of values??? This is the same Kathleen Parker who wrote the Town Hall column “Gay marriage: A trip to the moon on Gossamer wings”? Geez, the world really has changed since I stopped paying attention to it!

“Like all the best conservatives, I started off as a liberal,” she trilled.

Well, at least she’s still the annoying twit that I remember.

In a similar display of the intellectual right’s discomfort with Wasilla-brand populism, Ms. Frum mocked a speech by Ms. Palin in April on The Huffington Post. (“There was not a single memorable line, not a single new political idea, not a single proffered solution beyond the cliché.”)

Yes, it’s girls like Sarah who are getting invited to the prom these days, not “intellectuals” like Danielle, Kathleen, and the lovely Mona Charen. But instead of moping, all you denizens of Precarious Purgatory should take a lesson from Ms. Palin: being easy is a sure path to popularity!

And lending a poignant immediacy to the rejiggered state of affairs was the Republican Senator Robert Bennett, ousted last month in the Utah primary for his votes on health care and Wall Street reform.

Yeah, it’s always poignant when Republicans get fired for not being crazy enough.

After an exhortation from the Frums’ bobbed 8-year-old daughter, Bea, to “Please buy lots of books now,” Ms. Hirsi Ali signed copies at a table in the corner, where a bookseller sat, unattended. The people at a party like this — pontificators, politicians — are typically sent such books free.

The nobility never has to buy its own books like a common NewsMax subscriber! But I do think it’s a nice Gurdonian-touch that the Frums make their bobbed 8-year-old daughter shill for the bookseller at their dinner parties.

Dinner conversation over poached tilefish and grilled asparagus ranged from the flotilla to health care to headscarves.

And I’m sure it also touched on the yacht races, the latest “in” vacation site, and the impossibility of getting good help these days.

The conversation turned to Iran. “Look at the way the left stood up to South Africa. Where are the feminists when it comes to the situation for women in Iran?” Ms. Sommers said. “Liberal intellectuals are more offended by Islamophobia than they are by sharia,” or Islamic law, Mr. Hitchens offered.

Mr. Hitchens, I am only a member of the liberal hoi polloi, but in my opinion it’s more effective to speak out against wrongs I see in America than it is to tell other countries how offensive I find their legal system, religious beliefs, and stupid traditions. But hey, feel free to tell feminists they are caring about the wrong stuff, Chris — I’m sure they appreciate it.

By 11 p.m., the guests had finished the remaining bottles of red wine and berry-topped petit fours. The Frums’ daughter had long ceased splashing in the pool and gone up to bed.

I imagine that there was a nanny or two keeping an eye on her, but I still have the image of a bobbed nine-year-old playing in the pool, all alone in the dark, while the pride of conservatism finishes off the remaining bottles of wine and carps about feminists. Eventually the girl puts herself to bed, wondering if anyone would have noticed if she had drowned.

Say, maybe Danielle could take over as America’s Worst Mother!

Anyway, for the Tea Party perspective, we now turn to Mary Grabar, the People’s Ph.D.

Profiling Populists and the Tea Party

I guess I’m a populist even though with a Ph.D. in English I don’t fit the profile.

You remember Mary Grabar – like Dr. Mike, she has a Ph.D. But unlike Dr. Mike, she mentions it in EVERY FRIGGIN COLUMN!

As someone who has attended tea party rallies and town hall meetings here in Georgia I’m supposed to have “common sense” but not much book-learning. You know, we can fix cars, bake a cherry pie, and clean a pistol.

Yeah, she’s way too smart and well educated to be considered “one of the people,” and yet she is!

I’m part of a group that can be “ugly,” according to Paul Krugman.

Oh, Mary, I’m sure Paul thinks you’re pretty! (Not as pretty as Kathleen Parker, of course, but pretty in your own way.)

This sentiment, unfortunately, was repeated by Lee Harris in his new otherwise impressive book titled The Next American Civil War: The Populist Revolt against the Liberal Elite. Harris does see the movement as evidence of a healthy American “natural libertarianism.” But in placing the movement into the context of populist movements (many of them bloody) in history, he mischaracterizes it as tending toward irrationality and paranoia.

The Tea Party movement has the reputation of tending towards irrationality and paranoia? Say it ain’t so, Mary!

Anyway, Mary goes on to explain why the liberal elite (which are the real bad guys in Harris’s book) are a bunch of jerks, especially the ones she works with.

In academia I’ve seen them spin their grand theories, cite each others’ theories, and then claim that their work has been “peer-reviewed.” Their intellectual circle becomes smaller and smaller, their language more specialized as it obscures the paucity of real learning.

And because they have controlled education and the media, they simply instate like-minded, intellectually intolerant peers. They award each other graduate degrees, tenure, editorships, and awards.

Wait, academics are the ones who give out the academic degrees? That doesn’t seem right!

They dumb down educational requirements.

Um, Mary, are you sure you want people to start doubting the worth of Ph.D.s?

That a certain group of people sees through this charade indicates their knowledge of history and human nature. They are rightfully leery of a celebrity politician who promises to “spread the wealth.” They educate their kids at home, teach them Latin and Aristotle’s rhetoric—the hard subjects that have been eliminated by these supposed intellectuals in charge of education. And as this month’s elections show, they are having an influence through the electoral process—and not as modern-day mobs of pitchfork-carrying peasants.

I would encourage liberals—and conservatives—to learn more about the tea party. Most of the participants know more about the history of the West and the Constitution than do most high school social studies teachers.

Yeah, David Frum and Danielle Crittenden! Those tea-partiers whom you despise know Latin and Aristotelian rhetoric and history and such. They probably even know that it’s hot in D.C. in June. And, unlike you conservative intellectuals, THEY are the ones who are influencing the electoral process, being interviewed on Fox News, and coming up with the good ideas, like paying for insurance with chickens. So, you might consider inviting the Tea Party crowd to the next party you hold at your stately home with the white-painted porch and leafy garden. They might wipe their mouths with their sleeves, but they are a lot more smarter than you think!

There are even some professors among them.

But, sadly, not Mary – she’s just an “instructor.” So maybe she really does fit the profile as a populist after all.

UPDATE: The link to the NY Times story about the party is now fixed (thanks for letting us know about it, D. Sidhe). And if you go here, you can see an artistic depiction of some of the guests, all ready for their own appearances in court to answer charges of “disgrace.”