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Last week AOL News did a piece about Sarah Palin’s official photographer, by Sarah’s biographer (“Shushannah Walshe is the co-author of “Sarah from Alaska: The Sudden Rise and Brutal Education of a New Conservative Superstar”). For those of you who don’t subscribe to AOL (which, I imagine, would be all of you), here are the highlights of the article.

Palin’s Private Photographer Has Seen It All

And that’s why she drinks to forget

By Shushannah Walshe

Shealah Craighead works in pictures, not words, but she’s got a lot of good Sarah Palin stories. Here’s one from this winter:

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Palin is spending it at the Daytona 500. As Palin is greeted by the usual crush of fans, Craighead and other members of Palin’s retinue are eyeing another celebrity in attendance, a certain dreamy jazz musician-slash-actor.

Afterward, Craighead can’t resist the opportunity for some girl talk.

“You just sat next to Harry Connick Jr. for 10 minutes! Isn’t he so dreamy?”

“Isn’t he!?” replies Palin, laughing.

Wow, that IS a great Sarah Palin story! (Seriously, that’s the whole story.) Not only do we learn something new and unexpected about Sarah (that Harry Connick Jr. would sit next to her for 10 minutes without excusing himself), we also discover that Sarah’s biographer has to really work to find a story that make Sarah seem half-way human.

(As Ms. Walshe observes, Sarah “has a reputation of chewing through even loyal aides and advisers.” She adds that “the less-than-a-handful of people in her current inner circle seem to genuinely like Palin as a person and enjoy being around her,” but frankly, we find it very hard to believe that Sarah found 3 or 4 people who like her.)

As we learn later, photog Whitehead purposefully tries not to learn anything about Sarah, because she’s afraid if she does, her contempt will affect how she photographs her subject. Here, I’ll let her tell you:

In keeping with her preferred approach, Craighead never talks politics or religion with Palin. If other aides broach those topics with Palin while she’s present, she tries to excuse herself. Of course, that’s not always possible in the rapid-fire world she’s working in.

Craighead says she still recalls the infamous prank call on the Palin campaign from a Canadian comedy duo who duped Palin into believing she was speaking to the president of France. As staffers swung into damage-control mode, things got “awkward” for Craighead. “Those are the moments when I’m like, ‘I’m out. You shouldn’t hear this,’” she says.

Yes, Sergeant Schulz, you know NOTHING! Keep your head in the sand long enough and not only won’t you realize that Sarah is an idiot, the lack of oxygen to your brain will probably make her even seem smart!

“I don’t judge my clients on what they’ve said or didn’t say or their beliefs or non-beliefs or their actions or non-actions, because that’s not my job,” Craighead adds. “If you don’t like this person for whatever reason, you might tend to photograph it in a light that’s negative. You might publish some unflattering photographs … or take photos from an angle that might be unflattering to anybody. At the end of the day I don’t want that to even be a possibility.”

Yes, if you spend anytime talking to Sarah, you would probably photograph her in a light like this:


Anyway, Craighead, who followed Sarah around as she campaigned for VP and then went along on the “Going Rogue” tour, has snapped about 500,000 pictures of Ms. Palin. What for, you may ask?

Everyone who had a copy of “Going Rogue” signed by Palin was able to buy a snapshot by Craighead memorializing the moment.

So, it’s like when you go to the amusement park and they take your photo as you puke your guts out on the roller coaster, and then they try to sell you those shots.

But the vast majority of her photos have been kept from public consumption, retained for some as-yet-undetermined use — perhaps a Palin 2012 website, or an exhibit in a future Palin Presidential Library?

Or perhaps Whitehead is trying to steal Sarah’s soul (as a public service), and it just isn’t working (because obviously hasn’t got one).

Or, maybe if the Presidential Library doesn’t pan out, the photos can be used as part of Sarah’s beatification . . .

The throngs of adoring followers who turned out for Palin’s book tour, Craighead says, was an intense thing to witness and photograph. “People would come through the line after waiting for hours. Sometimes the line moved so quickly that they weren’t able to get in a conversation, but they would just want to touch her and some people would want to pray with her,” Craighead says. “It’s just a whole religious aspect around the governor in itself in the way people reacted to her thinking that maybe she has a higher power.”

And, that, folks, is the scariest thing I’ve read all day.

Anyway, if you want to see some of the book-signing crowd, Whitehead has a gallery online. As you look through it, you can just see the people reacting to Sarah’s higher power.

16 Responses to “Snaphots of Sarah”

So, it’s like when you go to the amusement park and they take your photo as you puke your guts out on the roller coaster, and then they try to sell you those shots.

Well, now that Sarah has traded up to the Big Guns, maybe it’ll be more like those co-eds who pull their shirts up for the camera as they ride down Splash Mountain. (“Uh, thanks, Governor. I guess I’m not gonna send this to my mom…”) Might have improved her post-performance poll numbers in the VP debate.


The unseen portraits are being kept in a attic, where they grow uglier by the day.

You know, once you wipe off the saliva and pretend it’s really a wholesome thing, that Sarah broad don’t sound half bad! I mean, if you don’t have a problem with licking donkey balls or something…

frankly, we find it very hard to believe that Sarah found 3 or 4 people who like her.

To be fair, she has five kids. I think maybe they like her. At least, on allowance day.

If you don’t like this person for whatever reason, you might tend to photograph it in a light that’s negative.

Well, no matter how you photograph it or how much light you use you’ll still wind up with a negative.

Thank you! I’m here all week! Try the veal!

1. When regarding Harry Connick, Jr., never forget the crooked/recidivist politician that his DADDY is/was… oh, he’s a “consultant” for a drug-testing company NOW (after trying for years to make utterly-unconstitutional drug-testing MANDATORY in all New Orleans public schools…), but for many a crooked moon, he was the New Orleans D.A. Damned shame that he never used his considerable influence & power to prevent the rigged-from-D.C. frame-up of Edwin Edwards. Not coincidental, though.

2. I don’t think that I have ever actually, physically CRINGED at any gag on any blog before, but the line about Caribou Barbie’s photographer drinking to forget made me laugh and double-over in mental-imagery pain at the same time. You KNOW that there are exhibitionist polaroids out there SOMEWHERE. {{{{{{shudder!!!!!!}}}}}}

3. “But the vast majority of her photos have been kept from public consumption…”


I’d wager that at least 70% of them show her holding a loaded & cocked revolver/semi-automatic weapon to the head of an illegally-immigrated servant as he or she is forced to field-dress Palin’s latest helicopter kill. Another 10% are posed/FAKE photos of Sarah being “blooded” with the carnal fluids of her take, as if she had actually HUNTED it. The airbrushed/photoshopped shit that the MSM shove down our throats at every occasion (I always fucking KNEW that AOL was fucking EEEEEVILLLLL!!!!!!) compose the remainder of this soulless “photographer’s” so-called “work.”

4. Being allergic to cultist/deist activities, I can’t really “speak to” Palin’s “higher power” cult-of-”personality” (if “VAPID HEARTLESS MONGO-CUNT” counts as a “personality”) supposed “attributes,” but y’know that formerly-so-called “sister” that I have in Montana? She is the perfect example of the morons who not only actually VOTED FOR DUMBYA, she is the kind of SHEEP who thinks that she’s so “unique” and “badass” because she eats the shit that Sarah shovels (not on the seashore, though, ’cause that would only serve to remind people of the Exxon Valdez) LIKE IT’S FUCKING CAVIAR (or given the general insanity rampant in Montana’s population, “mountain oysters”). That’s where the adoration & cult-affiliation shit kicks-in. Peri-menopausal/immediately-post-menopausal empty-nester broads pushing fifty or 60, who think of the Alaskan WEATHER GIRL as a “heroine,” not IN SPITE OF her HUNTING WOLVES FROM A HELICOPTER, but BECAUSE OF IT, and because she BRAGS ABOUT IT. To these severely-frustrated and often tragically-lonely idiot bitches, she is a “rebel.”

She convinces working-class sheepul that she’s “one of them,” just like Ronnie Ray-Gun, even though she has ***NEVER*** worked an honest day in her entire waste-of-oxygen **LIFE,** any more than Ray-Gun ever did. The same geniuses who (I wish to fuck that I were exaggerating here, but I am *SO* not!) viewed Dumbya’s QUINTUPLE BANKRUPTING OF HIS EMPLOYERS’ CORPORATIONS as “PROOF” that he “UNDERSTOOD” and “SYMPATHIZED” with “SMALL-BUSINESSPEOPLE.”

The INTENTIONAL/WILLFUL stoopidity/blindness to EVERYTHING resembling “REALITY,” etc., is absofuckinglutely MIND-BOGGLING. Yes, these people exist, and the ones who still can, are BREEDING. Be afraid, America. Be very afraid. Unfortunately, they are NOT all sequestered in the wildernesses & one-horse-apple towns of Montana, Alaska, or Bumfuck, Texas/Louisiana or even Arkansas.

Like Elvis & cockaroaches, THEY EVVYWHAR!!! THEY EVVYWHAR!!!!!! And they piss their money away on so-stoopid-she’s-pure-fucking-EVIL uber-cunts like Sarah Teh Overbreeder Palin.

If there was any “justice” in the universe, if evolution was STILL WORKING (I think that the Baby Boomers made it take a hard left-handed u-ey on Tulane Avenue back around 1979), this illiterate skank (and the one who wrote this textual cunnilingus for her) would’ve been born sterile AND stillborn.

I’d like to dig Darwin up and have a serious conversation about this uber-breeder and her small legion of idolatrous followers, ’cause I think that he skipped a few possible mutations in there somewhere… We are, in short, fucking DOOMED. Yeah, for NOW, we (the less-than-droolingly-insane people who vote) might FEEL “safe,” but they’re still out there, and they’re still making “jokes” about assassinating our President and wearing t-shirts with LYNCHES on them.

Oh, and Hysterical? If the Portraits of Sarah Palin Grey were getting “uglier,” then how in the FUCK do you explain the face that she wears out in PUBLIC??!!? Yeah, we can see the scars from the bi-annual tune-ups on her “youthful” face, but honestly — do you truly consider this skank to be anything approaching “attractive”??? Okay, if she actually looked like Tina Fey, she MIGHT stand a chance of being *maybe* less than a double-bagger. But she doesn’t, and she can’t.

I never have gotten the “MILF” angle on Palin, ’cause I wouldn’t fuck that ugly bitch with a stolen dildo and a full-body HAZMAT suit.

And G? I wouldn’t give her THAT much credit for “likability.” The baby prolly likes her, but then, her overage overbreeding cursed that poor child with Down’s Syndrome, so he prolly likes EVERYBODY. Actually, all things being considered, he’s probably the luckiest Palin spawn of all.

No matter how stoopid/home-schooled illiterate/trailer-park-stripper-judgement-impaired the other kids are, they STILL have to be AWARE of that IDIOTIC SKANK who calls herself THEIR “MOTHER,” and what she says and does out in public, where other people can see and hear her.

Gonna be a whoooole lotta DUI arrests/early-onset alcoholism in THAT brood. I bet that every single one of them fantasizes about cutting her brakes.

Buffalo Police have reported finding a man’s body floating in the Niagara River, near the Peace Bridge. The man’s name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive alcohol consumption, combined with a drug overdose.

He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick and a “Sarah Palin for President in 2012” t-shirt. He also had a cucumber inserted in his rectum.

Police removed the Palin t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.

I stole this from one of graphic artist Alison Bechdel’s blog commenters (Ian, I think.) But it’s too good not to repeat.

Did you know “Craighead” means “rock head” in Gaelic? I didn’t think so.

By Shushannah Walshe

Clearly, a drunk Al Asscan.


Isn’t that wonderful! Ms. Whitehead is aiming to become the Heinrich Hoffman of our age!

(FYI: Heinrich Hoffman was Hitler’s personal photographer…)

Aww, you should not make fun of Sarah because cameras love her. Someone or some entity has to.

What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and Hitler? Hitler didn’t take many good photos. Sarah doesn’t seem to take many bad ones. It used to bug me, then I figured, eh, who cares. Good pics, bad pics, she’s still a frackin fascist either way.

Annti –

Being a guy, I think I might have a different take on Caribou Barbie.

Mine is, I wouldn’t fuck her with someone else’s dick.

Don’t forget the HAZMAT suit and the earplugs, David.

I kept reading “Craighead” as “Dickhead.”

Not that she is. She actually sounds quite sensible with the keep-your-head-down philosophy. But I hope she’s paying enough attention for a nice juicy tell-all book in 5 or 10 years.

Craighead sounds almost as dumb as Barbie.

Most photographers are thrilled when their unique artistic perspective results in a special photograph. She (claims to be) determined to stifle any possibility of ever taking that one, amazing, iconic portrait.

Consider the Churchill photograph, or Einstein’s birthday pic. Tho it’s a struggle to visualize Sarah being immortalized in such a way.

Something to say?