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Archive for the 'Oh Lord' Category

Bristol Palin: America’s Dancing Rasputin

Posted by scott on November 24th, 2010

As our national feast day draws nigh, Americans turn from workaday worries and obligations to reflect upon our manifold blessings; and like many of you, I am grateful for friends, family, but above all, I am thankful that Bristol Palin has survived multiple assassination attempts during her routines on Dancing With The Stars, hoofing obliviously through a hail of bullets, throwing knives, curare-tipped blowgun darts, rocket propelled grenades, crossbow bolts, and Ninja shuriken dipped in sea wasp venom like a latter day Inspector Clouseau.

Liberals who threatened Bristol Palin’s life are cowards, by Kevin Fobbs

As America prepares to spend time with family and friends over the four-day Thanksgiving holiday, it is more than tragic than during this week leading up to the holiday, there are millions of Americans who are whining and alarmed over the growing Dancing With The Stars’ success of Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah Palin. Instead of thanksgiving there are those who are harboring terror and threats in their hearts against Bristol.

I admit it, I’ve been harboring terror in my heart, but with the holidays coming I’ve had to move threats to storage in order to make room for the Jell-O mold.

With each passing week this good natured and extremely hardworking young woman danced her way into the hearts of Americans

Which accounts for our high rates of congestive heart failure.  However, if you have any Immiticide left over from your dog’s last deworming, it may prove effective for relief of heartbristol.

in spite of liberal alarmists who blamed the Tea Party for “fixing” the results, which the ABC network has already put those buffoonish claims to rest.

In fact, she was reverse-freeped!  As said on Twitter:  ”Obviously, ACORN mobilized massive voter turnout against Bristol Palin on DWTS.”

And earlier this month, a 66-year-old man in Wisconsin who appeared to be so enraged with Bristol’s success that he fired a shotgun at his television have emboldened other equally unbalanced malcontents to send death threats to her.

Initial reports indicated that the man suffered from bi-polar disorder, but upon further investigation police determined that he was merely Elvis Presley, who had been living in quiet seclusion on a farm in Town of Vermont, Wisconsin for the past 33 years, with his wife Janice (née Joplin).

You dance challenged Liberals, two words: Grow Up!

Wait — that’s too stirring a cry for mere text.  It should be a motivational poster, or a commemorative plate from the Franklin Mint, at least a bumpersticker.  Let’s grab the masthead photo from Kevin’s “radio show” and turn this thing into the defining and inspirational motto the Tea Party has always craved and deserved!

You watch, next summer this is going to be the new Gadsden Flag.

After all, this is America. There are many of us who believe that maybe, just maybe, a young woman who was counted out, who was mocked and who was cast aside before she had even danced one step could perhaps make it to the finals, because she had the raw audacity to try to get better, week after week.

Aficionados of the Founding Fathers will recognize this quote from Benjamin Franklin’s review of the proto-dance competition, So You Think You Can Minuet?, in which he praised the courage of Ariana Calvert, daughter of the Loyalist Benedict Swingate Calvert, for braving a grueling contest in which competitors were the target of jeers, airborne produce, and occasional musket volleys, and those who failed Terpsichore where branded with a scarlet M for “maladroit.”

But the cowards would rather embrace a socialist approach. Bristol’s individuality is not admired but held with contempt.

Stalin believed that by collectivizing the Arthur Murray Dance Studio franchises across Russia, he could destroy the Rumba-loving Kulaks one ballroom at a time.  Now all that’s left of the once vaunted Soviet approach to the foxtrot are those crumbling concrete footstep diagrams all over Red Square.

Catcalls and anger is given birth, and seeded by collective and yes shameful and unprincipled cold hearted talk that turns to cowardly acts.

…usually during the commercials, although if the cowards need to pee they often won’t have time to seed the collective and give birth to anger, and will instead just swing by the kitchen for some Mallowmars and a Diet Squirt.

These cowards…yes cowards with a capital C

Say, here’s a time-saving tip: you can just capitalize words, rather than, you know, footnoting them so the reader has to re-punctuate the earlier part of the sentence with their mind.

…decided it is fair play to threaten the life a 20-year-old Bristol, who is a mother, a daughter, a sister and equally important: a human being that God created in his image. She is not a terrorist or criminal, so where is the crime?

Your honor, the prosecution would like to submit People’s Exhibit A:

As Americans, all of us should call those compassionless excuses for human beings into question and ask that God’s spirit to be with them this Thanksgiving holiday to teach them how to love and not hate, to have pride in her effort and not disdain in her accomplishment, and lastly, show respect and not rejection because after all it is only a dance show.

A much needed sense of perspective.  Thanks, Kevin.

So cowards, grow up and maybe give maturity a chance and give thanks that all the other cowards who hide in shadows and cloak themselves in anonymity have not come out from those shadows to threaten your daughter or loved one with death threats because you might have done something they did not agree with.

You’re a very persuasive man, Kev.  My only concern is that with Bristol and the cowards and all the other cowards to pray for, by the time I finish grace the yams are gonna be cold.

This Thanksgiving open up your heart and eyes to God’s light so that you can see beyond the darkness and appreciate effort not political contempt for,“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.” Luke 11: 34–35.

You can tell the light in your body is dark if your eye lamps are rolling at Bristol’s attempts to jive.

Give true thanks and you may just surprise yourself on Thanksgiving.

…by bellowing across the table, “Grow up, dance challenged cowards!  And pass the green bean casserole.”

Cupcakes: the Root of All Evil

Posted by s.z. on November 10th, 2010

Would YOU Buy a Cupcake From This Man?

Since Scott has a splitting headache, let’s make him feel better by checking out John Stossel’s latest column. Or, rather, let’s check out John Stossel’s column and then split Stossel’s head to make Scott feel better.

I’m Politically Incorrect

Oooh, I’m so naughty and trendy, and just the kind of bad boy that the ladies all go for!

This week, I held a bake sale — a racist bake sale. I stood in midtown Manhattan shouting, “Cupcakes for sale.” My price list read:Asians — $1.50

Whites — $1.00

Blacks/Latinos — 50 cents

People stared.

I imagine they did. And I imagine they were thinking to themselves, “Man, Stossel is so 2003 with that ‘Diversity Bake Sale’ stuff. And he is SOOO 1985 with that mustache! And besides, this is midtown Manhattan, and we don’t hawk cupcakes here – for anything less than $5 a pop. ”

Anyway, if you are older than ten, you can predict where the rest of the column is going: Diversity programs are racist because everyone is equal now. College conservatives are being repressed by evil administrators who won’t let them practice cupcake discrimination. My university colleagues are stupid hippie feminist liberals, and I hate them all so much!

Wait, that last one was Dr. Mike — but you can’t blame me for being confused, since Stossel’s column sounds like it was stolen directly from Dr. Mike, including the fact that the whole thing is based on a Foundation of Irritating Republicans in Education Who Whine A Lot (FIRE) press release. And since Stossel is a big TV star (really! it’s in his bio), and Dr. Mike is just a non-promoted criminology professor at a state college, it’s kind of sad that Stossel is now poaching on Dr. Mike’s beat. (Of course, Dr. Mike has long since finished with racist cupcakes, and has moved on to the more evil gay cupcakes, thus proving that Stossel has indeed fallen on hard intellectual times.)

So, it has come to this. Dr. Mike and Mustache Face Stossel enter an arena, and only one emerges alive. And then that one has to sell cupcakes on the streets of Manhattan for the rest of his life.

Onward, Christian Whiners

Posted by s.z. on October 12th, 2010

Thanks to the American Family Association, I am informed every time a Christian martyr is unjustly eaten by lions, the government, and or/secular humanists. One day it’s the case of a Christian grad student who just wants to counsel gay junior high students that they are going to hell –but her liberal university is forcing her to learn about homosexuals first, which violates her constitutional right to ignorance. The next day it’s the story of a baker being persecuted by a city government for refusing to turn his impressionable daughters into lesbians by baking gay cookies. Yesterday we learned about Pastor Cary Gordon, whom somebody tattled on because he placed his church’s tax-exempt status in jeopardy.

Here’s reporter Charlie Butts (seriously, that’s his name) with the story:

Political’ pastor to IRS: Sue me

A complaint has been filed with the Internal Revenue Service against an Iowa church on the basis of political involvement.

Next month, voters in The Hawkeye State will have an opportunity to vote against renewing terms for three state Supreme Court justices who voted in favor of homosexual “marriage.” Pastor Cary Gordon of Cornerstone World Outreach in Sioux City sent a letter to pastors around the state encouraging them to join in the effort to remove the three from the bench. In response, Americans United for Separation of Church and State filed a complaint against the Sioux City pastor.

What an outrage! The pastor failed to follow the IRS guidelines, and so he got reported to the IRS, which will presumably send his church a warning letter or something. It’s like living in Communist Russia or Nazi Germany!

Pastor Gordon tells OneNewsNow that Christians are often accused of shoving their religion down others’ throats — and if they say the same things inside the walls of the church, they are accused of bringing politics into religion. “You can’t have it both ways,” he remarks.

Per Pastor Cary, he is either allowed to shove religion down others’ throats and force them to stop thinking gay “marriage” should be “legal,” or he is allowed to use religion to force politics down others’ throats, in order to make gay “marriage” illegal. We have to let him do one or the other.

“We’re tired of the hypocrisy of these people because they desire to ensconce — and frankly they’re doing it — …secular humanism [as] the new state religion of the United States of America in violation of the original intent of the First Amendment,” he laments.

Because, as we all know, when the First Amendment says “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” which is currently interpreted to mean “government should not prefer one religion to another, or religion to irreligion,” it’s original intent was actually “Nobody should try to stop Pastor Cary from using his religion to achieve his political goals, because his religion is true. And P. S., gays should not be allowed to get married because Pastor Cary thinks homosexuality is icky.”

Gordon stresses that despite complaints from groups like Americans United, he will continue to preach his convictions on Sunday.

“I have never, nor will I ever, get a message from the Holy Spirit and then go check with the IRS tax code first to see if it’s okay to preach it,” he states.

Yeah, but the report to the IRS was about your using your church authority to write and mail letters ugring political action.

“I’m tired of pastors submitting to this tyranny —

I’m with you on this one, Pastor! You should not submit to this tyranny any longer! Just preach whatever the Holy Spirit tells you, and then take a stand by paying the church’s taxes, and by telling its members that their donations are no longer tax deductible! Sure, it’s not as dramatic as being crucified upside down for your beliefs, but I think God will still appreciate the gesture.

and I’m expecting to try to get the IRS to sue us so that we can take it all the way to the Supreme Court and restore freedom in America’s pulpits.”

Um, Pastor, I don’t think that’s how it works. I think the IRS can just tell you have to pay taxes. You know, like how the police don’t sue you when they think you’ve committed a crime, they just arrest you.

Gordon’s church is represented by Christian attorneys from Liberty Institute.

Of course it is. They defend all the best crybabies who get caught misusing religion.

Anyway, let’s learn more about this fiery young preacher who is willing to be sued by the IRS for his convictions:

Rev. Cary Gordon currently serves on the pastoral team of Cornerstone World Outreach in Sioux City, Iowa,

I wonder if the rest of the team shares Pastor Cary’s desire to taunt the IRS.

and resides there with his wife, Molly, his sons Solomon and Jonas, and his daughter, Ella. He is most known for his dynamic teaching ministry, particularly in the field of eschatology.

His sermon on the Whore of Babylon is a particular favorite with the crowds.

In addition to his pastoral duties, Pastor Cary serves as the President of PeaceMakers Institute: A theological school dedicated to equipping conservative thinkers with the tools necessary to achieve victory in the American culture war.

His war plan for peace apparently includes equipping conservative thinkers with the idea that God revealed in the First Amendment that they have a divine right to tax breaks.

Hmm, it’s a long bio, so let’s just hit the highlights:

. . . the secretary treasurer of Sioux Citizens for Responsible Government – a Political Action Committee . . . turf of grassroots politics … RHEMA Bible Training Center … Associates Degree … recognized singer, songwriter, and author of the recently published book entitled The MasterPeace … creator, producer and director of the soon to be released children’s television show, Passage to Dominion.™

And, like all singer/songwriter/author, creator/producer/directors, he is looking for some free publicity. So, it was his lucky day when somebody finally noticed him violating IRS tax-exempt guidelines!

God Is Dead. Murdered! And Someone’s Responsible!

Posted by scott on October 7th, 2010

Hey look, it’s Robin of Berkeley, our favorite psycho psycho-therapist.  She’d like to have a heart-to-heart with us all about our souls, and the crappy state of municipal sanitation, so let’s all pull up a stool and cop an evil squat.

Obama and the Evil Squatters

“God is dead,” according to the existentialist Nietzsche. He might as well have been talking about Berkeley, California.

So Berkeley is dead?  There go my plans to grab a half veggie and Hawaiian pie at Fat Slice.  Thanks a lot, Nietzsche.

Think I’m exaggerating?

That’s not the first word that comes to mind when I think of you, no.  It’s just the most polite one.

Take a trip out west and spend a few days on Telegraph Avenue. Then wander over to the downtown area, Shattuck and University. If you’re really the daredevil, do so after dark, when the mean streets look positively Kafkaesque.

So then…Kafka is dead.  Okay, Nietzsche, I gotta give you that one.  But then you’re dead too; in fact, you died first, so I wouldn’t go getting all moldier than thou about it. Or maybe Robin thinks Berkeley has turned into a giant cockroach, which would explain that story of hers about how a vicious hobo fought a charismatic dancing insect to the death, and gave all of Telegraph Avenue a sad.

When I say God is dead in Berkeley, I don’t mean just that parts of the city look like a hellhole. I’m referring to the militant anti-God vibe.

As Robin tells it, the Roman Empire has returned, Berkeley is the new Coliseum, and Christians are once again being persecuted and torn apart by wild beasts for the amusement of jaded heathens.  It’s gotten so bad that Jesus, who hobnobbed with whores and lepers, can’t even count on a warm welcome from the alcoholics anymore.

There’s increasing animosity towards 12-step programs because they’re rooted in Christian theology. But the rebellion is not just from without, but also from within. In some AA meetings, members use their check-in time to lambaste Judaism and Christianity.

Maybe Jesus shouldn’t have turned the coffee into Irish coffee.  It was a good miracle, but the meeting kind of went downhill after that.

Consequently, Berkeley Christians share their religion in whispered tones.

We can only pray this catches on.

A person who has an appetite for worship may remain hungry for fear of ridicule.

You know, I’m pretty sure God can hear you, even when you use your inside voice.

While it’s perfectly acceptable in Berkeley to live openly as a bisexual, transgendered, or crossdresser, don’t dare divulge a love for God. If you do so, expect public disapproval, even contempt.

It’s not that most people object to a man loving a god, it’s just that studies show that it’s better for the children to be raised in a traditional family by a mother and father.

And yet, why don’t residents see the obvious: that’s there’s a connection between abandoning God and the un-Godliness of Berkeley’s streets? The streets are filthy and uncivil; the crime rate spirals out of control. Because if God and His followers are chased out of town, what is left?

You can’t have clean streets without Christians, because in Berkeley Christians are like the burakumin in feudal Japan — they’re the only ones allowed to tan leather and pick up trash.

But when you obscure the sunshine, only darkness remains. Seal the windows, close the blinds, and what do you have? People alone in a pitch-black world, with nothing to shield or soothe them.

Sure Robin, but have you tried it?  I don’t think you should criticize sitting alone in a sealed, dark room until you’ve really given it a chance.

Death Wish Meets A Bug’s Life

Posted by scott on June 26th, 2010

You remember mental health professional Robin of Berkeley, who believes liberals are pathologically joyless because they always look depressed whenever she walks into the room, and who provides the same distance-diagnosis schtik as Charles Krauthammer, but at only half the price and a third of the credentials. Well, she’s back, and today she’s taking on the Bug Zappers of the Anti-Christ!

Deliver Us from Evil

It’s funny how trivial events somehow get seared into your brain.

Or into your column.

This one is from years ago, when I was enjoying a yogurt on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley.

Suddenly, a large exotic bug appeared and started dancing around. Its iridescent colors caught the sun and glistened like a rainbow. A crowd formed to watch its antics in shared delight.

It’s funny how the trivial events in your life sound like they were stolen from a Warner Brothers cartoon.

Out of nowhere, a lunatic pushed through the crowd. I’d seen this guy before — paranoid, menacing. His rage toward the bug slit me like a knife.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m willing to bet that, in the 1500 year history of the English language, this is the first time anyone has written that particular sentence (at least since the Great Vowel Shift).

The insect was getting attention, people were happy, and he was out for revenge.

He’d already pithed Michigan J. Frog for a similar offense.

The man bolted through the crowd, possessed. He jumped on the bug, over and over and again. People gasped. A child cried. And then, as quickly as it began, it was all over.

This is bringing up memories — repressed, horrible memories! — of that tragic day when my Dad took me to the Flea Circus, and a lunatic stepped on the acrobats.

Silently, numbly, the crowd dispersed. The man, now triumphant, smiled hideously. I threw away the yogurt, which was now rendered tasteless.

I know exactly how you feel, Robin. I haven’t been able to touch Cheez-Wiz since I saw a hobo swat a Pacific Dampwood termite.

I’ll never forget the look of blind hatred on that man’s face. It communicated this: “I want what you have.”

“…a chitinous exoskeleton and a segmented thorax.”

And: “If I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it.”

He punctuated this threat with insane, cackling laughter, then asked, “Is that from Pinkberry? You gonna finish that?”

This random experience flashed in my mind recently when I was in a Berkeley bookstore. With my newfound interest in religion, I wanted to peruse that section.

After hunting down a clerk to unearth the tiny religion area, I perused the shelves.

That’s some pretty fierce determination. Reminds me of Caesar’s stark report to the Roman Senate on his battle with Pharnaces II of Pontus, “I came, I saw, I perused.”

In actuality, the area should have been called the Anti-Christianity Section.

While there were respectful tomes on the other religions, the Christianity section was a virtual pillorying of Jesus.

Shocking, I agree. That kind of thing has no place in a bookstore, which is supposed to cater to, even foster, an atmosphere of intellectual curiosity and openness. Virtually pillorying Jesus is a pastime that’s much better left to some of the kinkier Catholic roleplay areas of Second Life.

Every book denounced him, mocked him, or reinvented him as something entirely new. There were books debunking the Gospel, with each author sounding gleeful, like a wicked child.

Now, I understand that some people reject religion. But why the venom? The contempt, the need to torpedo Christ?

Gleeful but contemptuous children always attack the Savior with venom-tipped torpedoes. We tried training sea snakes to attack him while he’s walking on water, but they’re all draftees and lack the necessary gung ho and esprit de corps, so our best strategy is to use a submarine to track the Messiah with passive sonar, running silent, running deep until he reaches the middle of the Dead Sea. Then we rise to periscope depth and fire our fish. If we’re lucky, he’ll get confused and accidentally multiply the fish so he goes up in a really big explosion.

This campaign against Christianity isn’t confined to an obscure Berkeley bookstore. And it didn’t begin with Obama. There’s been an active crusade for decades to try to destroy Jesus with Alinksy-like[sic] tactics: freeze the subject, humiliate, marginalize.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
I’ve been around for a long, long year,
Stole many a man’s soul and faith.
And I was round when Jesus Christ
Was subjected to Alinsky-like tactics such as freezing, humiliating and marginalizing.
Pleased to meet you!
Hope you guess my name…

“Saul Alinksy?”

“Uh…It’s Alinsky, actually, but, uh…Yeah. That’s right. (SIGH) Here…you win the plush panda.”

But while demonizing Christianity is nothing new, it’s reached a fever pitch since Obama came on the scene. It’s no wonder: Obama sent out clear messages from the start.


First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of placing a mildly irreverent pop-up book about Jesus in an obscure bookstore in Berkeley…

Obama’s first interview as president was for an Arab broadcaster. Then he covered up a cross at Notre Dame and was a no-show on the National Day of Prayer.

Lately, it seems like open season on Christians. The Pope has been subjected to unprecedented condemnation, with atheists Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens plotting ways to have him arrested.

Actually, that seems more like open season on child molestation, which does sound kind of unfair, since pedophiles have traditionally been hunted in May, along with the spring gobblers.

Comedy Central plans a cartoon show mocking Jesus. On the TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David does something so offensive that I will only offer you a link.

That would be the Curb episode where Larry is taking some drug with diuretic side-effects and he pees so hard that some of the backsplash hits a portrait of Jesus over the toilet. The woman who owns it immediately assumes that the image is miraculously weeping, and Larry feels awkward about raining on her parade after golden showering her Messiah.

In the past I would simply put on my therapist cap with people like these. I’d probe their childhood for evidence of maltreatment. I’d label them as narcissists and antisocial personalities.

Which is how I plan to get therapy from Robin without paying for it — all she has to do is walk past a copy of , and she’ll be psycho-analyzing the hell out of us.

But now I have a different worldview, one that goes much deeper than just the psychological. Now I understand that this world is infused with the Divine. And that there is a competing force, one that is the polar opposite.

…a force that didn’t star in a series of John Waters films

I now have a word for that creepy feeling deep down in my gut. And I finally understand the source.

Excellent! I think we’ve made a breakthrough. Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have today –

Now I see what’s really behind the campaign to banish religion; it’s to render us utterly helpless. Because after all, without God, what protection is there in this brutal world?

Sadly, grievously, I look out on my country. I see the corruption and undoing. I witness the ever-growing tsunami of hate that threatens everyone in its path.

And I see citizens oblivious to the dangers because they’re mired in the slime of moral relativism. They have no language, no hiding place, no possible way to shield their children in the deep and darkest nights.

Geez! One guys steps on a cicada, and suddenly it’s The Road.

And I see that lunatic, the one with the crazy, hollow eyes. But he’s not just on Telegraph Avenue.

“Wherever there’s a guy beatin’ up on a bug, I’ll be there…”

He’s far and wide: in the hallowed halls of Congress, in the institutes of higher learning, in basement rooms where small men troll.

I don’t care how small you are; if you can troll in your basement, you really ought to check to see if your water heater is leaking.

If you listen closely, you can hear that same diabolical cry: “I want what you have.

That’s the same diabolical cry I often hear at Baja Fresh when I order the Mahi Mahi Crispy Tacos but my companion unwisely went with the Bare Burrito.

And if I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it.”

Curiously, this is the same thing Robin says to her clients when talking about their sanity.

Scouting Report: Craft Service

Posted by scott on June 14th, 2010

We have another new wingnut to try out today, so attach your clip-on tie, slip in your pocket protector, and shake hands with RenewAmerica rookie Paul Craft:


First, let’s check his bio. Unlike most RenewAmerica columnists, Paul’s c.v. is modestly, even suspiciously, brief:

Paul Craft lives in Kentucky, and is a graduate of the University of Kentucky. He maintains a website that is meant to offer the best stories on the web and the stories that will not be seen on the national news. The URL is CraftReports.com

The URL leads to — well, to nothing, actually. Perhaps the site is down at the moment, or maybe Paul gave up his imaginary childhood friend in favor of a magical imaginary website where “all the best stories on the web” are under his control.

Is America doomed?
America has been blessed where other nations have failed because this country was established on a Christian foundation regardless of what those on the Left say and are strong support for Israel.

If only King George III had given in to the Colonists’ primary demand — that Britain establish a Jewish homeland in Palestine — the Founders probably would have let that whole “taxation without representation” thing slide.

Where do we stand on these two important points?


America has become like an old house that is on the brink of collapsing because the foundation is on its last legs.

America should have gone with the concrete slab (or foundation walls if we wanted accessible basement space), but no, we had to be sluts about it and show a little leg.

We have let the minority rule over the majority out of political correctness.

If only the major European powers had echoed are[sic] support for Israel back in the 18th Century, then the minority would have had somewhere else to go, and we wouldn’t have had all these Jewish presidents.

No prayer in schools. No display of Christianity in the public square. US leaders have not stepped up and taken responsibility.

What good is the Supreme Court if not to supply our municipal governments with creches and giant electric menorahs?

Proclaim the name of Jesus Christ in the public square at your own risk.

Thanks, but I’m not much of a thrillseeker.

The thought police will take you to task for possibly offending those who do not accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

I live in a liberal neighborhood of a blue city of a reliably azure state, so you’d think if anybody’s tax dollars were going to pay the salaries of the thought police, it’d be mine. And yet, while walking down a high traffic, heavily patrolled segment of Hollywood Boulevard, I ran into a pack of musically proselytizing Mennonites. At least, I think they were Mennonites; the men weren’t hairy enough to be Amish, and the women were definitely wearing frocks from the Little House on the Prairie Collection. Anyway, they were harmonizing, and handing out free CDs and tracts, and basically doing everything they could to offend those who do not accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior (apologies for the crappy video quality, but I was trying to be subtle with the camera phone, since I wasn’t sure how easily the Pennsylvania Dutch might get spooked by paparazzi).

The reaction of passerbys to this invasion of the public square by members of the calico-wearing Christian majority seemed to fall into one of three categories:

1. “Huh. Singing Mennonites.”
2. “I should get myself one of those nice crocheted snoods for the next time I go clubbing — Oh, hey! The Wax Museum!”
2. “I need a new tattoo.”

So I guess the lesson here is: There’s never a thought cop around when you need one.

Is there a remedy for this? Absolutely. We the American people have to take back our country.

And a full 90% of the Bill of Rights.

We have to proclaim the Word of God in our schools and the public square like our life depended on it. We will always respect the belief of others but not if it puts God in the closet. Unless we the people take a stand America is doomed.

So we will absolutely not be rounding up atheists and members of minority religions and competing Christian sects unless they attempt to store Jesus in the cedar closet for the season while they get their summer god down out of the attic.

How about our support for Israel? Will God continue to have mercy on else if we stand strong in our support for God’s chosen people?

If that’s how you feel about the Jews, shouldn’t you convert? I mean, why be content to warm the bench with the second string when you could join Team Chosen? It’s as if Tiger Woods had spent his whole life out on the links, analyzing the game, studying the great players, and practicing his swing, just so he could go out on Sunday mornings and play miniature golf.

It should be no surprise to anyone that Obama would change American policy toward Israel. Just like his other friends on the radical Left, Obama has a clear bias in favor of the Muslims. Obama as President has been to the Middle East on more to one occasion. How many times has he visited Israel? None.

Maybe they should move Israel to the Middle East. Then the President wouldn’t have to make two trips, and Israel would be closer to the outlet mall and the Interstate.

What is Israel supposed to? Unless they inspect what is delivered to Hamas in Gaza they will get a missile fired into their backyard.

Well that should attract some interesting Google searches. Thanks, Paul.

What is there to investigate? Everybody knows the people on the flotilla were looking for a fight.

Exactly. You can always tell. I used to work with an Irish guy from Waterford who was like that; come Friday night he’d pour four or five pints of Guinness and three or four shots of Red Breast down his throat, and soon he’d get all pugnacious and loud and start daring the other patrons in the bar to drop onto him from a helicopter.

We the American people have a choice to make. We no longer can stand on the sidelines and let things happen.

We must take a tip from the Senate Republicans and stand in the middle of the 50 yard line and stop anything from happening at all.

Are we going to continue to let the thought police push God out of America and our daily life?…Unless we take to the streets peacefully like Martin Luther King did America is doomed. We can no longer set on are [sic] hands and do nothing.

Well, we can set on are own hands, I suppose, but if we continue to just plop are asses down on random hands, we’re likely to get goosed.

Breaking! Clarence Darrow Defends Monkey Teacher!

Posted by scott on March 2nd, 2010

ntabor.jpgDo you remember Nathan Tabor? No? Really? How I envy you.

Nathan was known as “the young Jesse Helms,” back when he spent three quarters of a million dollars losing a Republican primary race for Congress. Undaunted, he ran for North Carolina State Senate, and lost that too, before putting his hard-won experience to work as a political consultant. According to his Wikipedia page — which reads as though it were lovingly tended, nurtured, and monitored by Nathan on a daily, if not hourly basis, so it must be accurate — these are the highlights: “Nathan Tabor consulted with North Carolina Senator Fred Smith, who lost the primary for governor in 2008. In the past, Nathan has worked as the director of internet outreach for Congressman Duncan Hunter’s [failed] presidential campaign. Additionally, Tabor has worked for Jim Oberweis in his [unsuccessful] campaign for governor of Illinois in 2006, and Jeff Crank, who ran for Congress in Colorado [and lost].”

By this point, Nathan, who is also the founder of TCV Media, “a professional full-service internet and branding firm,” realized that the “Young Jesse Helms” image was slightly past its peak of flavor (as is, one assumes, the Old Jesse Helms), and that a more hip, edgy, up-to-date identity was needed to help Nathan connect with today’s youth. At last report time, he was rumored to be going with the

His Townhall bio tells us that “Nathan Tabor organizes and educates Christians on their role in Politics,” a program summed up by his trademarked slogan “Somebody has to root for the Washington Generals!”

And while I’m glad he’s sitting down with the next generation of aspiring politicians and sharing with them the secretions of his success, I’m also relieved to see that he hasn’t abandoned his role as a hard-hitting investigative scold. And this week he’s broken perhaps the biggest story of his career — a scandalous case of religious bigotry in a Texas school:

We Are Not Ashamed; Are You?

No? Well, to quote Yoda: “You will be. You…will…be!”

School administrators in Texas face a federal lawsuit filed on behalf of three students, accusing the school district of refusing to allow children to carry or read the Bible.

The lawsuit, filed in Houston, alleges that a teacher pulled two sisters from class after discovering that they were carrying Bibles and threatened to have them picked up by child-welfare authorities.

Another teacher told a pupil he was not allowed to read the Bible during free reading time and forced him to put it away, the lawsuit alleges. The boy also was required to remove a Ten Commandments book cover from another book, the lawsuit states.

“My daughters called me, were hysterical, and said, ‘Mama, they took our Bibles and called them garbage and threw them in the garbage and then threatened to call Child Protective Services,’ ” said Deborah Bedenbender, 37, a Willis homemaker.

Even I find this story disturbing, and can only hope the major media follow up and help to expose this abuse of civil liberties. At the same time, I want to congratulate Nathan on his scoop; it’s a triumph of old school, shoe leather journalism, and I don’t believe his achievement is in any way diluted by the fact that this story is ten years old (the plaintiff, Homemaker Bedenbender, filed her lawsuit on May 19, 2000, and voluntarily withdrew it less than two weeks, later, on June 1).

So when Nathan says, in the present tense, that “[s]chool administrators in Texas face a federal lawsuit filed on behalf of three students,” he’s simply acknowledging the Einsteinian concept that space-time is curved, and eventually we’ll all meet and kill our own grandfathers.

Not only do actions by teachers and administrators described above hurt Christians

But actions by other municipal authorities also hurt Christians. Like feeding them to lions, or crucifying them upside down. That shit’s gotta stop.

they also send a message to non-believing children and parents that there is something wrong with believing in a saving Jesus Christ, and that such expressions of faith should be hidden from public view.

Or maybe just kept out of the classroom, although that one kid got kind of a raw deal just for doodling pictures of Jesus double-fouling the moneychangers on his Pee Chee folder.

In essence, these government officials are telling Christians that they should be ashamed of their beliefs and they should cower in their homes secretly reading Scripture.

In essence, that’s appalling! In reality, not so much, since according to the district superintendent, “Students of Willis Independent School District have not been told they cannot bring Bibles to school, and Bibles were never confiscated or thrown into the trash.” Also, “an investigation by the district found no evidence that Bibles or any other materials had been confiscated. [The Superintendent] did say, however, that only school study materials were allowed in the Saturday class that the girls had been attending to make up for time missed.”

So the girls missed school, were required to make up the lessons on Saturday, and instead of doing the assigned work, they started reading their Bibles in class. That’s either a saintly degree of devotion to Jesus, or a big Fuck You to the teacher.

However, there is a new movement within the Body of Jesus

That is a really an unfortunate turn of phrase…

that couples Bible-reading Christianity with modern communications. Beginning Monday, March 1, individuals from the United States and the world can participate in the first-ever online video Bible. They can simply film themselves reading or quoting Scripture passages and then upload their videos to the new “I Am Not Ashamed” campaign web site, (www.iamnotashamed.org).

I sort of wasn’t paying attention by this point in the column, and accidentally typed iamnotashamed.com, rather than .org into the browser, and discovered this piece of Renaissance art, which I believe is entitled Christ Ministering to the Rough Boys:


The campaign launches simultaneously on the Internet and on television, with commercial spots featuring participants quoting Bible verses.

But you’ll have to go to the website to watch the full length, uncensored commercial with the implied lesbian content.

King of Kings, Duke of Dukes

Posted by scott on March 1st, 2010

Dukey.jpgPro-Am pundit and habitual ratiocinator Selwyn Duke is over at American Thinker today, squeezing the Air Jordan-style pump in his chin and inflating his cranium to 34 psi. Today’s big thoughts are being thunk on the subject of how Moral Relativists have apparently rid the world of sin — which is great for Mankind, but leaves Selwyn feeling a bit like a Irish herpetologist.

I stumbled across [an article] about Tiger Woods, his Buddhism, and his reaction to Brit Hume’s January recommendation that he explore Christianity to remedy his woes. It was penned by David Gibson, a “religion” writer who says that he is, as I am, a convert to Catholicism. If I seem suspicious of his Catholicity — of, in fact, his religiosity — it’s because I am.

Selwyn then goes on to list a couple of professional awards Gibson has won, and while you can’t actually hear his fingers stabbing out each letter as though he was Freddie Kruger and the keyboard was a slumbering ingenue, it does seem to gall him. But for all I know Selwyn has won some writing awards himself, and was simply too modest to list them in his bio. In fact, he’s so self-effacing he no longer offers a bio, not even on his personal website; but then, he’s a man who needs no introduction, so why waste the electrons?

His biography states, “Gibson won the Templeton Religion Reporter of the Year Award, the top honor for journalists covering religion in the secular press. In November he will receive the top prize for opinion writing from the American Academy of Religion.” Both are quite fitting. His writing seems more secular than religious and reduces Truth to opinion.

That is to say, Gibson seems to embrace the relativism that defines our age. I have read two articles he has written on the Hume/Woods story, and in neither one does he exhibit the slightest understanding of the concept of Absolute Truth.

Any religion beat reporter who can go two whole columns without reminding his readers that every faith besides Christianity, and every denomination besides Roman Catholicism, is bullshit, is clearly in the wrong business.

I’ll explain.

Oh, that’s what that high-pitched screeching sound is. I thought it was the ambassador’s phone melting.

I know a man who is an orthodox Jew. He walks the walk, following all of the 613 Judaic laws he must and praying at the appointed times of the day, regardless of where he finds himself. Now, because he is authentic, he believes that his religion contains the full deposit of faith.

Insured FDIC.

Of course, a corollary of this is that he believes that mine does not.

Does this bother me? Not really. In fact, while I disagree with his ultimate conclusion, I expect nothing less than his absolutism. Why sacrifice for a faith — constraining your impulses based on its teachings — if you think it’s just a flavor of the day? Heck, if I thought religion was just a fancy name for opinion, I’d become a hedonist — or at least a Unitarian.

And which flavor of the day were you selling as Absolute Truth before you converted to Catholicism? Because this is kind of like getting a lecture on the One True Faith from Methodist/Roman Catholic/Eastern Orthodox stalwart Rod Dreher.

In contrast, in Gibson’s commentary, there is never an acknowledgment that Hume is behaving in precisely the way a true man of faith would expect a true man of faith to behave.


Instead, it smacks of secularism.

Hardly the sort of thing you’d expect from a reporter who won “the top honor for journalists covering religion in the secular press.”

Gibson acts as if Hume seeks to impose a taste, as if he has had the temerity to ask someone with a distinctively different palate to adopt his favorite flavor of ice cream.

Isabella and Ferdinand didn’t want to issue the Alhambra Degree, but their hand was forced when the Spanish Jews refused to even try Benedict & Jerry’s Pistachio Pope.

Yet this piece isn’t about Hume or Woods; in fact, it’s not even about Gibson.

Thanks for wasting eight paragraphs.

I’ve long understood that moral relativism is the characteristic spiritual disease of our time (and the worst of all time).

Who can forget when the Massacre of Vassy sparked the French Wars of Relativism?

I’ve also long known that this portends rapid moral collapse, and then the civilizational variety by consequence.

And it’s not doing much for your fallen arches.

But right now I’ll limit my commentary mostly to the impossible marriage between Christianity and relativism. (Non-Christians will find plenty here for them as well, however, so read on.)

SPOILER ALERT for non-Christians: What you’ll find here is the Universal Truth that you’re WRONG! Wrong about EVERYTHING! On the bright side, there’ll be plenty of it.

Let us be blunt: It is simply not possible to espouse relativism — which holds that right and wrong are opinion — and be a true Christian.

Right and wrong about what, Selwyn? Transubstantiation? Married clergy? Justification? Or does Universal Truth allow you a bit of a fudge factor when the secular are watching?

There are many doctrinal differences among the denominations, and good people could debate them ad nauseam and still not settle every one. Yet if anything is central to Christianity, it’s the belief that Truth is spelled with a capital “T” — that it is absolute, universal, and eternal.

So Jesus came to Jerusalem to sing patter songs and sell band instruments?

And also central is a corollary of this belief: that there is an absolute, universal, and eternal answer to every moral question; that right and wrong are not a matter of opinion, and that they don’t change from time to time and place to place

Hammurabi said it, I believe it, and that’s that.

(although the perception of them certainly can. Ergo, swords lopping off heads.).

Therefore, swords lopping off heads?

In fact, understand that moral relativism does nothing less than render the foundational act of Christianity, the sacrifice on the cross, incomprehensible. Why? Simply because Jesus died for our sins, and this presupposes that sin exists.

And that Jesus did.

However, if what we call morality is simply opinion, then there can be no such thing as sin.

In other words, if we don’t punish masturbators, we’d be hypocrites to punish murderers.

For who is to say?

Bronze Age goat herds, apparently.

“Hey, I have my truth, you have your truth. Don’t impose your values on me!” protests the relativist. And if there is no such thing as sin, then there was no reason for Jesus to sacrifice himself.

Really? Crap. Should we tell Him? I don’t think we should tell Him…

After all, what does anyone need to be forgiven for if there is no sin?

I think the real question is, why do Tiger Woods’ sins need to be forgiven by Brit Hume?

Now we come to why this piece isn’t just for Christians.

Well, it is, actually. But it it’s not just for breakfast anymore!

The concept of Absolute Truth lies at the heart of Judaism, Islam, and, in fact, philosophy itself. Why philosophy?

Because it’s not subject to the Scientific Method, so you can just make shit up?

Because, properly defined, philosophy is the search for Truth. Now, some — including many philosophy professors — would dispute this, but they not only are babies in philosophy, but they also have adopted the endeavor of a madman: searching while claiming there is nothing to find.

I would have paid good money to see Selwyn debating at the Oxford Union. “Sir, you state that moral distinctions stand upon the shifting sands of culture and intellectual fashion, rather than the sturdy bedrock of objective and universal standards of virtue. Ergo, you’re a kindergarten baby, you wash your face in gravy. You wrap it up in bubble gum and send it to the Navy.”

If there is no Truth and only opinion, then there are no answers to be found.

Well, not at American Thinker, anyway.

Of course, it’s tempting to embrace religious-equivalency doctrine in a multi-religious society because it’s thought that it enables us to get along. Like two little boys in a schoolyard who each agree to relinquish any claim that his daddy can beat up the other’s, we make the following unwritten pact: “I won’t say my faith is better than yours if you don’t say your faith is better than mine. Deal?” And it does work. Only then there is not only no reason to fight about religion, there is no reason to even discuss it. There is, in fact, no reason to even adopt it. That is, unless it somehow makes you feel good. But adherence to the principle “Do whatever feels good” is a pathway to something. It’s called sin.

So by agreeing to forgo arguments about just exactly who’s god is Top God, and avoiding bloodshed at recess, we’re a bunch of godless hippies who live by the maxim, “if it feels good, do it.” But what about those martyrs who experienced transcendent joy and ecstasy in faith when they were tortured, mutilated, and often killed for their devotion to a certain, relatively large, but nonetheless abridged part of their team’s doctrine. I mean, how do you even score that?

Through his embrace of relativism, modern man has made Christianity incomprehensible.

Just try explaining the Holy Ghost.

He has made philosophy incomprehensible. He has, in fact, made civilization itself incomprehensible.

This column? Totally incomprehensible. Thanks, Relativists!

Whoa Vadis?

Posted by scott on January 9th, 2010

You may remember J. Matt “Bam Bam” Barber — and if so, my sympathies — who first came to our attention in June, 2005, when he was martyred by his employer (scroll down to Allstate Persecutes Christian). Now, granted, he wasn’t nailed to a cross, immolated, wrapped in the skins of wild beasts and torn apart by dogs, or boiled in pitch, he was just fired for being assholier than thou, but it did make him a cause celebre in Right Wingtopia, and led to a stint as a Concerned Woman for America, and later, “Director of Cultural Affairs with Liberty Counsel and Associate Dean with the Liberty University School of Law,” an impressive-sounding position which seems to consist primarily of Matt acting shocked, shocked about the abundance of gay dudes in San Francisco.

Well, today Matt is reaching out to another man who’s been flayed, scourged, and murdered for his faith in Jesus: Brit Hume.

The crucifixion of Brit Hume

During the Roman Empire’s secularist era those who acknowledged the deity of Christ were frequently fed to the lions

Until I read Matt’s column, I’d had no idea that the pre-Christian Roman Empire was secular. On the contrary, I thought they were fairly lousy with gods — indigenous gods, pilfered foreign pantheons, harvest deities, demi-gods, household gods — but then, I’m not an Associate Dean at a law school “committed to academic and professional excellence in the context of the Christian intellectual tradition.”

to entertain — for lack of a better word — the “progressive” elites of the day. There’s little doubt that if many of today’s secular-”progressives” (more accurately: “moonbat liberals”) had their way, Caesar Obama would call out the lions once again.

Nothing more “progressive” than the Roman patricians, as witnessed by their taste for execution by wild animal, which back then was kind of like watching “The West Wing.”

Nothing makes the left lose its collective noodle like an open proclamation of Christian faith.

Which is why liberals haven’t existed since 380 AD. Theodosius stole their noodle.

You don’t see it when Muslims proselytize in government schools; the ACLU doesn’t sue when Wiccans share their witchy ways; militant “gay” activists don’t picket Buddhist temples with bullhorns while inhabitants grasp at Zen.

Astonishing, since Buddhists are known for their militant anti-gay activism.

No, there’s something about Christianity that just drives ‘em nuts. Always has. Always will.

Especially that “liberation theology.” I remember how that drove poor, unabashed leftist John Paul II right off his papal pasta.

Case in point: Fox News veteran Brit Hume both publicly pronounced his own faith in Jesus Christ and boldly suggested that Tiger Woods might find “forgiveness and redemption” for his serial philandering should he “turn to the Christian faith.”

Despite his boldness, he was not immediately devoured by lions.

Hume first offered Tiger the advice on “Fox News Sunday” and then reiterated his sage, though decidedly non-PC council on “The O’Reilly Factor” the following night.

This morning, he appeared on “Fox and Friends” to add rosemary and thyme council, making a savory, lip-smacking broth of sanctimony.

When asked by host Bill O’Reilly what kind of response he’d received for his comments, Hume replied, in part: “It’s always been a puzzling thing to me. The Bible even speaks of it. You speak the name Jesus Christ… and all hell breaks loose.”

Yes indeed.

I’m with Matt here, I really don’t understand why so many people think Hume’s remarks were inappropriate on a news channel. I mean, the only reason I even go to church is to get the updated AccuWeather forecast and the ball scores.

After Hume made his comments, and as if on cue (Lord forgive them for not knowing what they do or why they do it) liberals went apoplectic. Here’s a small sampling:

MSNBC’s reliably raspy Keith Olbermann

“reliably raspy”…?



J. Matt “Fat jokes never get old!” Barber in undated file photo.

While the mainstream media’s rage was clumsily managed (or masked), unbridled hate boiled over in the left-wing blogosphere.

On the sexual anarchist site, “JoeMyGod,” poster “QScribe” suggested that Brit Hume’s deceased son had been “gay” and viciously accused Hume of being responsible for the young man’s suicide: “Brit Hume still hasn’t ‘repented’ for trashing his gay son and driving him to suicide. When I want moral guidance from a pig like that, I’ll be sure to ask. Until then, he really ought to STFU.” (Hume has publicly shared that his son’s heartbreaking suicide played a large role in his acceptance of Christ.)

That’s sort of closing the barn door after the horse has been rendered into dog food and glue. The “sexual anarchist” thing, however, sounds promising — alas, not even Joe of Joe. My. God knows what Bam Bam is talking about.

The next commenter…Commenting on the Huffington Post…

You get the idea.

I get the idea that by “left-wing blogosphere” you mean a grand total of two comments — not even posts — you laboriously cherry-picked.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I must confess that I very much enjoy watching liberals go goofy when the light of truth pierces that shadowy void called moral relativism. When the left’s religion of choice — secular-humanism — is challenged through exposure to the gospel message, they almost universally and instinctively react with such visceral, knee-jerk spasms. You can set your clock to it.

I used to wake up to the mellow, easy-listening sounds of smooth jazz, but it was too easy to hit the snooze button, so now I set my clock radio to the local gospel music station and let the knee spasms wake me up.

But believe it or not, there’s actually something rather delightful about such hateful lashing about. These poor souls — to be pitied and prayed for — fail to realize that, manifest within their own unwittingly bizarre behavior, is certain affirmation of the very words of Christ on the subject.

Christ was infamous for trolling liberal blogs.

Now, I’m real sorry that most “progressives” and other non-believers feel that Christianity is deficiently “tolerant” or “inclusive” of various man-made religions and lifestyle choices. But it’s just not our call. Christ Himself reveals over and again that the pathway to heaven is a very narrow one, requiring membership in a rather “exclusive” club — a club wherein belief in Him and repentance from sin are the only membership requirements.

As revealed by his holy prophet, Brit Hume.

Christ said: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6). Note that, rather conspicuously, He did not say: “…No one comes to the Father except through me, the Buddha, Muhammad, Ganesh, and — on Tuesdays — L. Ron Hubbard.”

Shhh! Don’t tell Greta van Susteren she’s been pissing away her Tuesdays.

So, Brit Hume had it right, didn’t he? I mean, it is kind of an all or nothing proposition, isn’t it?

That’s the thing about absolutism — IT’S TOTALLY CORRECT!

As my favorite author and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis famously pointed out in his blockbuster book “Mere Christianity,” Christ could only have been one of three things: A lunatic, a liar, or — as Jesus oft claimed and as billions have believed — the sovereign Lord and Creator of the universe.

Or he could have been misquoted. Or a myth. Or a patsy for Paul, the L. Ron Hubbard of the First Century.

Lewis didn’t really think this through, did he?

So, what does this all mean? Well, and please take this in the spirit (little ‘s’) intended: Brit Hume’s woolly, wily, wandering critics really ought to just un-knot their knickers; mudra, mantra or something; and seriously reflect upon the man’s words and heart.

And Matt ought to stop stealing Doug Giles’ shtick.

Pastor Swank, Private Dick

Posted by scott on November 5th, 2009

PastorSwank1.jpg I was feeling a little depressed about the repeal of marriage equality in Maine, when it suddenly hit me: Who better to seek spiritual comfort from in this dark time than J. Grant Swank, Pastor of Our Lady of Wyndham Church and Breakfast Nook?  Surprisingly, however, Pastor Swank doesn’t appear particularly interested in his local politics this week, choosing instead to pull up the collar of his trenchcoat, tug down the snap brim of his Fedora, and shadow the President around town.

Barack Hussein Obama discounts the realism of the final check-out.

We said check out’s at 11 and we meant it!

His pride is in zenith gear at the moment; no doubt his residence at Pennsylvania Avenue does him no good in correcting that.

No, you got a bum zenith gear, you’re gonna want to take ‘er back to the Dealer if she’s still under warranty.

Obama early on stated that he answered an ‘altar call’ at Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ. For an altar call to be scheduled in a liberal sanctuary is something else. He witnessed that he met Christ at that juncture.

Subject Obama and J. Christ then walked three blocks north on Decatur, and stopped for lunch at a diner called “Mother’s.”  Subject Obama had a plain hamburger patty with a Cling peach and cottage cheese on the side, and a glass of ice tea.  Subject Christ had some wafers and a glass of blood.

That church would have had to be white-hating Jeremiah Wright’s. How all Wright’s rant fits in with an old-fashioned Dwight L. Moody style altar call is beyond me.

Turned out the call was for Phillip Morris.  Scratch another lead.

Nevertheless, the point is that Obama has not followed through with a biblical lifestyle or scriptural ethics in public life; consequently, whatever happened in his soul was not a bone fide conversion to Christ as Lord.

Seems this Christ fellow went by a whole host of aliases: The Carpenter’s Son, Horn of Salvation, Holy Thing, Head of the Corner, First begotten of the dead, Lamb of God, the Living Bread, Root of Jesse, Rose of Sharon, and the Notorious I.N.R.I.  (Coincidentally, “Bone-A-Fide” is the title of Christian rapper T-Bone’s 2005 album.)

Obama in fact belongs to one of the arch-theologically liberal denominations in existence. He attended for two decades a demented cultic type local church overseen by a warped black preacher who taught black elitism vs. white values.

I figured Obama had a enough juice in this town to fix the fight, so I called my bookie and laid a double sawbuck on black elitism.

Therefore, for Obama to continue on the theologically liberal journey is to understand how he takes no serious note of the Judgment Seat of Christ. The theologically liberal carve our their own religion, even calling it “Christian.”

Obama and his gang had been bootlegging Salvation, but now the Revenue boys were onto ‘em.

Obama is a prime example of this persona. His wife joins him in that.

Now that he is in the Oval Office, hubris rules his life more than ever, though in prior years it propelled him to claim the impossible.

Like a snake who talks, or some dead guy who hopped off the slab and ankled out of the Morgue. Crazy stuff.

That has led the non-thinking to follow him in mob hysteria, giving him messianic status.

Which is why Christ wanted to sit down and parley, once he heard Obama was muscling in on his territory.

The Bible teaches that every mortal will appear at the Judgment Seat of Christ at death. That includes every human born since Adam and Eve. That includes those of every religion and of no religion. One cannot escape the final check-out — the Judgment Seat of Christ.

Sanitized For Your Protection.

It is at that experience that the soul confronts the One who said He was “the way, the truth and the life.” Each of us therefore stands before Eternal Truth in Christ. Each of us gives an account of every motive, word and deed that transpired during our lifetime.

And make sure you and your pals get your stories straight before you go downtown, ’cause Christ is gonna double-check your alibi.

Obama will do the same. However, by his support of sodomy, for instance, he evidently does not care that God does not support sodomy.

Sort of like the Republicans in New York’s 23rd Congressional District who don’t support Republicans.

It is the same with his endorsement of killing womb babies. Obama has no regard for deity’s abhorrence of abortion.

Although deity seems fine with spontaneous abortion.  Maybe it’s like Planned Parenthood and he’s getting a cut of the action.

Obama lies. Therefore, he has no qualms about sleeping with lies accumulating during his daily rounds.

Obama is totally opportunistic. He says and does what will further Obama, not adhering to scriptural expectations.

Now of course there are scores of others who live that same immorality; however, what is unique about Obama naturally is that he is the President of the United States. His power over America is exerted mainly in the groove of anti-God, anti-Bible.

I wondered how Obama Got His anti-God Groove Back.

In that, real Christians follow through by having faith to believe that miracles are possible, even Barack Hussein Obama finding a brokenness of heart before the Lord. He can confess his sins, repent of his hubris and reach out for divine acceptance.

At present, all of that does not seem to be in the offing. Nevertheless, real Christians always pray sincerely for the impossible.

Just don’t claim the impossible.  You don’t wanna wind up in the White House like that Obama guy.

And so they intercede on behalf of Barack Hussein and Michelle Obama and their children to be genuinely saved.

Yes, according to these photos and surveillance reports from Grant Swank, the Continental Oops, even Sasha and Malia are headin’ straight for Hell.  Think about that the next time you’re tempted to buy one of those knock-off Louis Vuitton bags from some stall on Canal Street.  Stick with the national brand savior, and always ask for Christ by name.