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Archive for October, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Posted by scott on October 31st, 2007

…and remember please, for the next day or so, the terrible lesson you learned tonight. That grinning, glowing, globular invader of your living room is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch, and if your doorbell rings and nobody’s there, that was no Martian… it’s Halloween.  — Orson Welles, October 30, 1938

Beach Cats And Bottlebrushes

Posted by scott on October 29th, 2007

Mary and I went down to Newport for the weekend to celebrate my birthday, although the festivities consisted largely of me hunkering down in the hotel room with my laptop and a script marked up by a producer with OCD.  (Which is why blogging continues to be half-hearted and half-assed.  On the bright side, a Writers strike appears likely, so I should soon be at least as unemployed as Jeff Goldstein, Confederate Yankee, and your other leading Citizen Journalists.)

Anyway, we did manage to steal some time for a stroll around Balboa Island, and it seems that no bayside cottage is complete without an ostentatiously contented cat (sometimes two) draped over the deck furniture, their fur gently ruffled by the ocean breezes.  And it occured to me that if there’s such a thing as reincarnation, I hope I’m accruing sufficient good karma that I can ultimately cash it in for a return trip as a beach cat. 









And here’s a gloriously contorted bottlebrush shrub that was planted a century ago, and is undoubtedly the oldest living thing on the Island.


I include this merely to underscore that while California may be poor in history, we are rich in historic bush.

Macabre Monday!

Posted by scott on October 29th, 2007

Our countdown to All Hallows Eve continues with that eeriest of all sensations … the feeling that somehow … we are not alone.  That at any moment, a deathly cold hand might reach out of the darkness and clutch us by the neck, or pass us the salt…

Beginning To Blog…

Posted by scott on October 26th, 2007

AnnPW, a longtime friend of the program, has opened her own opinion emporium over at Beginning to Wonder, because she lives in Texas and what the hell else is there to do?  I mean, you can’t execute death row prisoners 24 hours a day, because occasionally there’s a storm and the power goes out.  Anyway, she’s conveniently located, just off the Interstate.  Direct Dial Phones.  Color TV.  Pets and Rants Welcome.

Fatal Friday!

Posted by scott on October 26th, 2007

As we continue our countdown to Halloween, we join Bridey Murphy, already in progress…

Reuse, Recycle, Revile

Posted by scott on October 25th, 2007

Per Clif over at Sadly, No!, it seems that compulsive auto-Googlist Michael Fumento (whose photo of himself proudly Hasselhoffing it in a Speedo has enabled more suicides than Jack Kevorkian) is reprising his complaints about the lack of Muslim villains in Hollywood movies (and the concomitant casting of sympathetic roles with actors who can’t pass the paper bag test), this time in the NY Sun.

You may recall that Michael originally explored this theme on his blog, in a post which we talked about here, later dropping by Wo’C to spread a little cheer in the comments section (“I’ll bet you all split a gut laughing when those Twin Towers fell.”).  We dealt with his subsequent emissions here.

Note to Clif:  I suggest that you pick up the place, buy a bag of ice, and maybe put out some Chex Party Mix, some skin bronzer, and a PuPu Platter-style selection of Man-Thongs, because if history is any guide, you’re about to have company.

Oh, ICK, You Can See Her Pelvic Bone Through Her Skirt!

Posted by scott on October 25th, 2007

Several people have emailed to ask if Mary and I are being affected by the fires.  Aside from a few road closures, the intermittant rain of ash, and a dull burning in the chest after any exertion, we’re fine.  In East LA, where Mary’s school is located, they’re keeping the kids indoors during recess.  I guess, after spending millions of dollars removing asbestos from the premises, they deem it counterproductive to then blithely encourage the students to run around the playground sucking up brimstone.

Yesterday I made the mistake of walking to the bank, and on the way back my eyes were streaming, and there was a nicely banked pile of embers in my lungs — the kind of dull red radiance that would have drawn the Bobbsey Twins, after a day of tobogganing in the sharp winter air, to gather round and warm their hands over my thorax.

When I got home, I downed a glass of water over the sink and coughed up a brichet, and was about to search the web to see just how close the fires were getting, when I heard Mary shout the title phrase from another room.  And I realized the suddenly sulphuric atmosphere didn’t betoken a menacing shift in the wind-driven flames, it just meant that Ann Coulter was in town.

Naturally, I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to attend her speech at USC — when I was a kid, that was always the big finish to Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week, then we’d get some ice cream, and my dad would put me on his shoulders to watch the fireworks — but this year, alas, it conflicted with the Amish Hot Rod Association’s annual drag race finals at California Speedway.

Thanatopical Thursday!

Posted by scott on October 25th, 2007

Have you ever had that feeling?  That…strange…feeling?

No, not that one.  And not that one either — geez, you want the cops in here?  You know the feeling I mean.  Yes, that’s the one.  But down and a little to the left…

Oooh, Scary!

Posted by s.z. on October 24th, 2007

Thank you, RNC, for your efforts to encourage civility in these hate-filled times.

Dear Republican,

What do Halloween and politics have in common?

Scary Democrats!

Every year the Republican National Committee has a hard time determining who is the scariest Democrat of the bunch. Just like the fall harvest, there’s an abundance from which to choose. That’s where you come in. We need your help in determining who the RNC should announce as the “Scariest Democrat” in 2007.

Please click here to play. We’ll announce your choice before Halloween Day.

If your mother won’t let you play with the RNC, but you do want to show your support for their efforts to demonize others, maybe you could come up with some nominees for “Scariest Wingnut of 2007.”  It might be fun.  There could be prizes! 

Hey, anything is possible.

Weird Wednesday

Posted by Maryc on October 24th, 2007

A case of mistaken identity…from BEYOND!