This just in: Robin of Berkeley has trolls! And not your ordinary trolls; no, she has progressive trolls, the worst kind!

When I started my little blog, it didn’t occur to me that trolls would come out in droves. Why would leftists expend their energies on me?

Aw, you’re just being modest, Robin. After all, you’re a reformed liberal and a licensed psychotherapist!

And why would they subject themselves to scrutiny by a licensed psychotherapist?

Yes, you’d think that knowing that a licensed psychotherapist was scrutinizing their anonymous, hasty, remarks would keep them cowering in shame. But yet they still dare post their unflattering comments. What is this world coming to?

But apparently, numerous trolls have been drawn to me, like venomous bees to honey.

Robin, you routinely diagnose mental illness in the Left while being a nut yourself. You’re a humorless, tone-deaf scold. And you tell the most far-fetched, improbable, entertaining stories about the trials and tribulations of being you. Of COURSE the trolls are going to be drawn to you. You’re their queen!

As a psychotherapist, I can see right through them to who they are and how they operate.

And as a layperson, I can recognize projection (I learned about it from Tucker Carlson).

I wonder to myself: Where do these trolls come from? Where do they live and breed?

Do they write in dank basement rooms while their bedraggled girlfriends (or moms) pick up their dirty shorts? Do they intermix trolling with downloading internet porn? (I’m not being snarky here; I’d bet good money that violent smut gives them endless inspiration.)

Sadly, no. Seriously, I think she’s talking about Sadly, No! readers. (Hey, just joshing with you, Tintin and crew.)

Anyway, as usual, Robin takes a horrific incident from her everyday life (in this, case, somebody disagreeing with her in the comments of her blog), and extrapolates it into an indictment of that part of the country that didn’t vote for Bristol Palin, and ends up in a froth of righteous indignation that this country allows people who think differently from her to even live.

The most hardcore of the leftists seem almost feral, wild, and undomesticated. Many lack even the most rudimentary of social skills; some people may very well be diagnosable on the autism spectrum.

Many militants are devoid of an essential ingredient of being human: empathy.

I’d say something about pots and kettles, but doubt that Robin would realize what I’m talking about, what with her total lack of self-awareness. But really, Robin of all people should refrain from accusing people of a lack of empathy – especially because what she is really saying is, “Somebody posted a comment I don’t like; they must be a feral, evil Socialist/progressive/liberal sociopath to do such a thing, because words can hurt and they don’t even care!”

In conclusion, if you have ever had the impudence to criticize Robin of Berkeley, consider yourself put in your place, you troll, you. She knows where you live!

UPDATE:

I just googled Robin of Berkeley to see if I could anything more about her professional background. I didn’t, but I did find an interesting thread about Robin from a couple of weeks ago in the comments section at the American Spectator.

Here are some excerpts:

D — I used to try and post comments on American Thinker, but my comments were either continuously edited (to their liking) or not printed at all.

G — I was actually asked to be a moderator on that site [...]

It’s funny how I got started.

I wrote a scathing comment about something Robin of Berkeley had written; I believed Robin was a phony, since she had been a die-hard liberal for, like, 40 years – and then suddenly embraced every single conservative principle so thoroughly and articulately that it just smelled wrong. [...] I smelled a rat.

Well, my comment disappeared after about 10 minutes, and I wrote to [American Thinker Publisher and Editor] Lifson to complain. [...]

He actually wrote back to me assuring me that Robin of Berkeley does exist, that she’s a friend of his and he’s physically been in her company several times. [...] A day or so later, I got an email from the chief moderator, who told me she shared my suspicions about Robin and she asked me if I was interested in being a contributor to the moderating team.

http://spectator.org/archives/2010/11/18/pat-me-pat-me

Anyway, G. took the position [insert joke here], but very quickly became disillusioned because of what the job entailed (mainly, deleting or editing all posts critical of the AT columnists, especially Robin), and because of all the behind the scenes power plays and nonsense (“I felt like I had fallen in with a Nazi cult). He added that he suspected that the chief moderator, who had a LOT of vitriol to vent about Robin, was jealous of Robin’s friendship with Lifson.

Make of all that whatever you think appropriate.

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With all the exulting this country is doing about how Tea Partiers are going to take this country back to the more virtuous times of the Middle Ages, let us not forget to spare some concern for Robin of Berkeley, whom her fellow citizens are trying to mow down. Here’s what happened. Or at least, here’s what Robin says she perceives as having happened.

Someone tried to mow me down the other day. This is what happened: I was driving home from work when suddenly, for no reason, the driver of an oncoming car decided to play with my mind.

Having found the ball-in-a-cup he’d been playing with previously too complicated.

He entered my lane, threatening me with a head-on collusion. Then, at the last possible moment, he pulled away, narrowly averting disaster.

I have no idea why the driver did this. Maybe he didn’t like my driving. Perhaps he was mad at the world. Perhaps he was obeying the little voices in his head.

Perhaps he was one of Robin’s clients, and had never gotten the help he needed.

Out here, anything is possible.

Yeah, in Berkeley random strangers try to kill you on a regular basis, when they aren’t smashing bugs, terrorizing you with their lower-class vibes, and/or menacing your house plants.

Oh, did I mention that he was driving a Prius?

Wow, that explains everything! If he was driving an energy-efficient car, he must have been a LIBERAL, and as we know, they are all prone to random acts of homicide. Case closed!

I’d like to say that this was the first time anyone has messed with me, car-wise, using his vehicle as a weapon. But, believe it or not, another car did the very same thing to me about a year ago on the same block.

Robin, did you notice if it was the same driver? Could it have been, say, your husband behind the wheel?

I’ve started taking another route home, though this is no guarantee that it won’t happen again.

No, it isn’t. I think it’s time for you to learn from Jen Shroder and the prophecy of the scorpion, which is interpreted to mean, “Stay the heck off the roads until you are sane enough to drive.”

A few months ago, in fact, as I was walking along I was almost mangled by a bicycle. The guy was racing his bike faster than the speed of light. He flew around the corner, making no attempt to stop, or even to slow down. Had I not seen him, I would have been flattened like a pancake.

So, to recap, three times in the past year Robin has had scary near-accidents involving moving vehicles. The lesson is clear: the Transformers are here, and out to kill Robin the evil liberals have taken over the country and are out to kill everyone.

And the danger out here is not restricted to moving vehicles. A while back, my husband and I were walking around downtown Berkeley with another couple. Suddenly, a deranged person picked up a bottle and threw it at me.

Fortunately, it hit the sidewalk a few inches away, and shattered into a million pieces. By the look of blind fury in the maniac’s eyes, he clearly wished it were me who had shattered instead.

Again, I have to ask if this was one of Robin’s clients, and if not, if he and the bug-smashing deranged person are colleagues.

Okay, that was the set up. Now, for the point of the story.

Now I don’t have to tell you that a lot of progressives are crazy–with the Left in charge, you probably figured this out a while back. You may be wondering what rock they crawled out from under. Are they on drugs — or off their medications? Well, folks–can you imagine walking, working, and driving among them every single day?

Pity poor Robin, somehow forced against her will to live in Berkeley, where everyone except Robin is CRAZY!

Berkeley is, in my view, a city under siege. It has been since the 1960s, when the Black Panthers established a reign of terror over law-abiding citizens. Somehow, that behavior became normalized, as though unbalanced people were simply part of the colorful passing show.

   

So, it’s all the Black Panthers’ fault that none of Robin’s disturbed clients ever get better.

With the progressives in charge, we see the same phenomenon nationwide: unacceptable behavior regarded as acceptable. Liberals don’t blink an eye when conservative women are called vile words meant to terrorize and degrade.

Personally, I refuse to live in a world where Sarah Palins can be terrorized and degraded with words like “unqualified” and “quitter.”

And other psychopathic behavior from the Left, such as biting off an opponent’s finger, doesn’t warrant even a blip on the evening news.

Did Harry Reid bite off Sharron Angle’s finger again, and the MSM refused to cover it? (Seriously, what is she talking about?)

Anyway, that is how the piece ends: with a bitten off finger. The whole story reminds me of a Berkeley production of “Suddenly, Last Summer.”

Oh, but if you go to the top of the page, you learn a bit more:

Robin is a recovering liberal, and a licensed psychotherapist in Berkeley, California. She has written about 70 articles for American Thinker, and has also penned material for Front Page Magazine, NewsReal, and Bookworm Room. Robin has been interviewed in a number of talk-radio venues, including those of Michael Savage and Rusty Humphries.

The above information is intended for entertainment and educational purposes, rather than to offer any kind of definitive diagnoses.

While I am entertained by Robin, I also feel that her work offers a definitive diagnosis: looney tunes.

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Remember in Battlefield Earth, when the primitive, loincloth-clad humans were able to pull thousand-year old F-16s out of mothballs, fill them with aviation fuel they found somewhere, and — after a brief, tutorial slide show — take off and successfully dogfight their interstellar conquerors, even though they hadn’t yet mastered toilet paper or the pulley?  Well, just when you think the right wing blogosphere has begun running out of bizarre conspiracy theories, they suddenly dig up a 50-year old cache of crazy and start going all Top Gun on your ass.

So…Do you have strong, healthy teeth, and vague, Bolshevist yearnings?  Yeah, me too.  Turns out, Robert W. Welch, Jr. and General Jack Ripper were right, and a half century of fluoridation has left America weak, easily confused, and prey to the subversive blandishments of a Red Diaper Moor.  Oh, and the Final Solution was just a byproduct of Nazi experiments in dentifrices and aromatherapy.

At least, that’s what I’ve gleaned from the latest RenewAmerica column by Cynthia A. Janak.

Fluoride — what you do not know

As you, my readers, know, I am a very curious person and when some item catches my attention I research to find all the facts. As you can see by the title Fluoride did just that. Let me tell you why. One day I was curious when brushing my teeth as to what is in my toothpaste. What caught my eye was that there was a warning on the label. That set off the red flag as to the fact that my toothpaste has the potential to be dangerous to my health. Needless to say, I finished brushing my teeth quickly and started my research.

And research is one of Cynthia’s specialties, according to her bio:

Cynthia Janak is a freelance journalist, mother of three, foster mother of one, grandmother of five, business owner, Chamber of Commerce member. Her expertise is as an administrative professional. Her specialties are adoptee and genealogy research and research journalism. Hobbies: Writing prose, crocheting, Conservative Studies, and rehabbing houses. You can visit her website at www.cynthiajanak.com.

I paddled over to Cynthia’s site and took a quick look around, but I wouldn’t recommend getting out of the boat unless you’re interested in an administrative professional’s alarums about the HPV vaccine, and the shaky link between autism and vaccination.  But I don’t mean to denigrate Cynthia’s expertise, especially when I see that she has consulted with the FDA over the Internet!

I was part of an international effort by a group of women to bring out the truth about Gardasil and Cervarix.  The FDA gave us the opportunity to present our concerns by sponsoring a listening session webinar.   UPDATE: FDA has not responded to the concerns that were brought to their attention.

I don’t know which GS-2 at Health and Human Services drew the short stick and had to log into that chat, but I bet her inbox was remarkably clean by the end of it.

The first and only ingredient I looked at was Sodium Flouride. The reason being is that Sodium Flouride is the reason for the Warning label on my tooth paste. Here are my findings.

I’ll spare you the lengthy quotations from Wikipedia and just push on…

I just had to find out more about this because I thought my toothpaste was safe and in essence it isn’t. So why do we have fluoride in this product? I decided to go and find the history behind Fluoride and this is what I found. [...]

What interested me here was I. G. Farben. I know that I. G. Farben was the company that did the studies at Auschwitz. The other thing that interested me was about the fumes the fumes of these compounds have a pleasant, slightly aromatic odor. But a few minutes after inhalation there’s a feeling of pressure to the larynx and difficulty in breathing. I instantly thought about the gas chambers in the concentration camps. I just had to look this up to verify association.

http://www.newswithviews.com/Devvy/kidd102.htm

“To whom it may concern: I, Oliver Kenneth Goff, was a member of the Communist Party and the Young Communist League from May 2, 1936 to October 9, 1939. During this period of time, I operated under the alias of John Keats and the number 18-B-2.

Goff’ (or “Keats”) was careful to maintain his cover by never meeting directly with his NKVD handlers, instead using a Grecian urn as a dead drop.

My testimony before the Government is incorporated in Volume 9 of the Un-American Activities Report for the year 1939…”

“We discussed quite thoroughly the fluoridation of water supplies and how we were using it in Russia as a tranquilizer in the prison camps. The leaders of our school felt that if it could be induced into the American water supply, it would bring about a spirit of lethargy in the nation; where it would keep the general public docile during a steady encroachment of Communism. We also discussed the fact that keeping a store of deadly fluoride near the water reservoir would be advantageous during the time of the revolution, as it would give us opportunity to dump this poison into the water supply and either kill off the populace or threaten them with liquidation, so that they would surrender to obtain fresh water. …”

I apologize for the long excerpt, but I’m a sucker for spy novels and Cold War thrillers, especially Fleming’s The Man With The Seared Palate, about a plot by the Soviet Union to tamper with America’s stoves, so that people would overheat their Sloppy Joes, and when they’d take a bite it would burn the roof of their mouth. At the same time, Smersh agents would snatch away the victim’s beverage and refuse to give it back until they pledged allegiance to Khruschev.

I could not find any reference to this being used in the gas chambers but I did find the above reference to what they did with the water and how they used Fluoride as a tranquilizer.

1942.  At the Wannsee Conference, Dr. Josef Mengele, D.D.S., is personally chosen by Gestapo chief Reinhard Heydrich to oversee Hitler’s plan for fluoridating the Jews.

I just had to read further because I was under the impression like all of us that Fluoride was good for better teeth and less cavities. Boy, was I wrong.

“[T]he German General Staff [devised a] scheme was to control the population in any given area through mass medication of drinking water. In this scheme, sodium fluoride will in time reduce an individual’s power to resist domination by slowly poisoning and narcotising a certain area of the brain, and will thus make him submissive to the will of those who wish to govern him. Both the Germans and the Russians added fluoride to the drinking water of prisoners of war to make them stupid and docile.”

However, the plan backfired on the Nazis in late 1944.  Desperate to free up badly needed combat troops for the front, the SS recruited Cavity Creeps as prison guards, but they completely failed to intimidate the well-enameled POWs.

This just made me sit back and digest all that I have read because during the last 10–12 years people in the independent media have been complaining how apathetic the people of the United States are. In the last few years they are calling the people “sheeple.” Do you think this is why?

I imagine this is how Mr. Rogers would have sounded if he’d subscribed to The New American and saved his urine in Mason jars.  But I guess the most important lesson I’ve learned is that Americans went to the polls in 2008, like lambs to the slaughter, and elected Obama because we’ve been brainwashed over the last fifty years by our own dental hygiene.  Which means that the only people we can trust to lead us in these dark times are meth addicts.

I call shotgun on the Bandwagon.

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I think I speak for everyone in the World O’ Crap community when I say how thrilled I was to see s.z. revisiting Megan Cox Gurdon, the husband she apparently stole from one of the lesser Madame Tussauds exhibits, and their children, Cleft, Antipode, Wainscoting, Diurnal, and Tattersall.

I’m also encouraged to see that son Quisp (or “the heir,” as I believe he’s known around chez Gurdon) has had enough of the daily schoolyard beatings, and has finally ceased aping Mummy’s mid-Atlantic speech impediment.  Oh, sure, this means that he too will soon be stuffed with sawdust, hand-dipped in a vat of hot wax, and posed along with Pater in the living room diorama, but it was good enough for Carolyn Jones.

Speaking of old friends, I notice it’s been quite awhile since we checked in on Ellis Washington over at World Net Daily, but alas, all good things must come to an end.  For those who may have forgotten, Ellis:

is former editor of the Michigan Law Review and law clerk at The Rutherford Institute.

When we first met Mr. Washington, Doghouse Riley marveled that “twenty years later ‘an editor of the Michigan Law Review’ and ‘law clerk for the Rutherford Institute’ are at the top of his resumé.”  As it happens, even that hoary credit may have been somewhat upholstered; according to Ed Brayton at Scienceblogs:

The bio at the bottom of his WND posts start with, “Ellis Washington is former editor of the Michigan Law Review…” That is false. He was never even a student at the U of M Law School. As an undergrad, he was chosen from three students to take a temporary job with the law review (replacing someone who had health problems, I believe) where he did mostly cite-checking and footnote checking. And it looks like it only lasted for one issue. “Former editor” makes it sound as though he was the actual editor; he was not.

Well, great.  If this is the impossible standard we’re going to hold people to, then I guess I can just kiss off my plans to claim I was part of the Algonquin Round Table, because I once met a friend for drinks at the Algonquin, and to get to where she was sitting I had to walk ’round a table.

He hosts a radio program Thursdays at 11 a.m. Eastern on 1620 AM in Atlanta.

Surprisingly, that part is true.

Radio Jefferson 1620 AM is a small town radio station dedicated to giving out the local news as well as broadcasting all sporting events for the local high schools.

Radio Jefferson was originally an internet station, although this article predicted it would begin regular over-the-air broadcasts in August of 2007:

The man spearheading the city’s radio station, Brad Dillard, says it’s mainly going to be old-style talk radio, with neighbors talking to neighbors about gardens, recipes and community goings-on.

Radio Jefferson already is streaming over the Internet at www.radiojeffersonga.com. On Aug. 1, it will be on the actual radio airwaves at 1620 AM.

By linking up a series of low-power antennas, none more than 10 feet high, the station’s signal will cover 65 square miles, Ward said.

Dillard said he got the idea for the station as he looked for a way to broadcast Jefferson High School football games.

The website doesn’t appear to work (or exist), but it’s only been three years — I’m sure they’ll get around to throwing up an Angelfire page eventually.  In the meantime, maybe our friend Ivan can tune in the station some night when the atmospheric conditions are perfect, and share a few of Ellis’ political insights, Frosh-Soph football picks, and his award-winning recipe for water chestnut stuffing.

It can be heard online at the Radio Sandy Springs website. His weekly podcasts are available Mondays at The Conservative Beacon. Washington is a graduate of John Marshall Law School and a lecturer and freelance writer on constitutional law, legal history and critical race theory.

As you may recall, Mr. Washington’s WND bio used to describe him as “a professor of law and political science at Savannah State University,” although the University’s website preferred to see him as a “part-time Instructor.”  Now, apparently, he’s left the kudzu-covered halls of Ole SSU behind and gone rogue!  Folks ambling peacefully down the streets of Jefferson, Georgia, minding their own business, never know when Ellis Washington may leap from behind a corner mailbox and begin freelance lecturing them.  It’s caused many a gray hair to sprout amongst the citizenry, although some claim they’ve been enriched by the experience, especially when he closes with that mouth-watering water chestnut stuffing recipe.

He has written over a dozen law review articles and several books, including “The Inseparability of Law and Morality: The Constitution, Natural Law and the Rule of Law” (2002).

Out of print.  No reviews on Amazon.

Washington’s latest book is “.”

In stock!  Available for immediate shipment!  And reviewed twice!  Let’s see what the critics have to say about this no doubt major piece of historiography:

(more…)

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As promised, here is more News You Can Use. To be specific, here is a column from “American Thinker” that demonstrates how to make health care choices by comparing stuff to Star Wars.

So, take notes and get out your light saber.

Sarah Palin Outs Darth Vader

By Stuart Schwartz

To quote Mel Brooks, “May the Schwartz be with you.”

Darth Vader is out of the closet…

Well, it’s not like we all didn’t already suspect.

… and we have Sarah Palin to thank.

Actually, I think he just said he was gay to spare her feelings after she invited him to a “nude helicopter hunt.”

The intrepid crusader from the north cut to the heart of Obamacare a year ago, slashing through the professor-speak and government gobbledygook with a searing summary on Facebook of its bottom line: “death panels.”

If writing untrue, snippy comments on Facebook makes you an “intrepid crusader,” then there are a lot of tween girls who also deserve the title.

With those words, the grounds for debate had shifted,

From facts and reason to made-up scary stuff.

. . . the mainstream media ideological blackout was circumvented,

The mainstream having previously refused to give Sarah any attention.

. . . and now, although it may have been Obama’s new head of Medicare, Harvard’s Dr. Donald Berwick, who stepped on the shuttle at Boston’s Logan International Airport, it is Darth Vader who has exited at Reagan National.

Darth Vader — really?

Hey, this stuff just riffs itself!

The man responsible for the death of a gazillion inhabited worlds, through whom the evil Emperor Palpatine — described as ” a middle-aged politician … who gains power through deception and treachery”…sound familiar? — sought to enslave the universe in the fictional Star Wars saga?

Stuart, honey, mixing Star Wars comics, “American Thinker,” YooHoo, and Tequila is not a good idea.

Palin’s column on death panels ignited a firestorm of elite media and beltway criticism. Once, that would have been enough to shut down debate, for the broadcast networks and newspapers controlled information — we knew only what they wanted us to know. Suddenly, the new media (including the site you’re now reading) provided reality, and the Tea Parties and Republican Party followed.

So this site provided the reality that resulted in the birth of Tea Parties and the Republican Party? Wow, trippy!

And now Darth Vader has become a metaphor, a figure of speech signifying that the coming of Harvard’s Berwick represents the same thing to the average American that the arrival of the Death Star, the spaceship used to destroy planets, meant for entire populations.

The mighty Darth Vadar, the former Jedi Knight and killer of “a gazillion” planets has now become a really strained and inept metaphor. How the mighty have fallen.

All of a sudden, life-and-death decisions are out of our hands, resting with a government determined to control every waking moment of our lives.

You know, I used to work for the government and I can promise you in all sincerity that they really don’t have a department dedicated to controlling every waking moment of Stuart’s life. Sorry, Stuart, but nobody cares, not even Darth Medicare.

The Harvard health specialist’s job is to transform Medicare, to make the primary medical insurance system for seniors into an instrument of social policy, to take wealth and years from seniors and redistribute them to favored segments of the population.

Yes, the new Medicare mission statement is “Taking Years of Life From the Old and Giving Them to Hot Chicks.”

Sarah Palin was right, stubbornly hanging in when the mainstream media — sensing “a great disturbance in the [leftist] force” — trained its batteries on her. She was ridiculed on network newscasts, in the White House briefing room, by the media “stormtroopers [who] represented the most visible extension of Imperial [Obama] might.” Darth Vader and Star Wars serve as metaphor, Palin as Princess Leia, while network anchors, commentator after commentator, all the president’s men showered ridicule on her. “Downright evil,” screamed Keith Olbermann; “stupid as s**t,” proclaimed a popular Democratic blog.

Okay, let me see if I get all the metaphors:

Sarah Palin = Princess Leia

President Obama = Emperor Palpatine

A heath care administrator from Harvard = Darth Vadar

Mainstream Media = Imperial Stormtroopers

Medicare = Death Star

Keith Olbermann = Yoda

Rush Limbaugh = Jabba the Hutt

Popular Democratic Blog = midichlorians

John McCain = Jar Jar Binks

Barbara Bush = Count Dooku

Etc.

Hey, this is fun. You should play too!

In the end, it is about power. Donald Berwick and Barack Obama, Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine want to dictate the care you can and can’t have. Berwick, for example, calls ultrasounds and cesarean sections a “form of assault and battery.”

And Stuart says they aren’t. So, if some storm troopers grabbed Stuart off the street, gave him an unneeded ultrasound followed by a convenient cesarean, he’d be totally okay with it.

Under Obamacare, he (through his rationing bureaucracy), not you or your doctor, decides whether you have a procedure. This is nothing new –

HMOs have been around for decades.

. . . the political systems and policy bureaucracies Berwick and Obama seek to emulate have been doing it with disastrous results for individuals for years (e.g., England, Cuba, the old Soviet Union, Hitler’s Germany).

Hitler’s Germany = the Planet Endor

As one senior staff member at Berwick’s base in the Harvard School of Public Health has put it so eloquently in his blogs and books, we will do away with a Constitution and government that are the “enemy of the working class.”

And who is this unnamed guy who worked at Harvard at the same time as Berwick? Grand Moff Tarkin.

Darth Vader is out of the closet,

And he looks FABulous!

, , , and the Death Star has entered orbit.

So, unless Luke Skywalker (Glenn Beck) can shoot it in the exhaust vent with a precise blast of craziness, then we are all doomed, DOOMED!

Stuart Schwartz, a former retail and media executive, is on the faculty at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia.

Because Liberty University, unlike Harvard University, offers faculty positions to guys with life experience in watching Star Wars movies in lieu of, you know, academic degrees or wisdom or such.

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You remember mental health professional Robin of Berkeley, who believes liberals are pathologically joyless because they always look depressed whenever she walks into the room, and who provides the same distance-diagnosis schtik as Charles Krauthammer, but at only half the price and a third of the credentials. Well, she’s back, and today she’s taking on the Bug Zappers of the Anti-Christ!

Deliver Us from Evil

It’s funny how trivial events somehow get seared into your brain.

Or into your column.

This one is from years ago, when I was enjoying a yogurt on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley.

Suddenly, a large exotic bug appeared and started dancing around. Its iridescent colors caught the sun and glistened like a rainbow. A crowd formed to watch its antics in shared delight.

It’s funny how the trivial events in your life sound like they were stolen from a Warner Brothers cartoon.

Out of nowhere, a lunatic pushed through the crowd. I’d seen this guy before — paranoid, menacing. His rage toward the bug slit me like a knife.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I’m willing to bet that, in the 1500 year history of the English language, this is the first time anyone has written that particular sentence (at least since the Great Vowel Shift).

The insect was getting attention, people were happy, and he was out for revenge.

He’d already pithed Michigan J. Frog for a similar offense.

The man bolted through the crowd, possessed. He jumped on the bug, over and over and again. People gasped. A child cried. And then, as quickly as it began, it was all over.

This is bringing up memories — repressed, horrible memories! — of that tragic day when my Dad took me to the Flea Circus, and a lunatic stepped on the acrobats.

Silently, numbly, the crowd dispersed. The man, now triumphant, smiled hideously. I threw away the yogurt, which was now rendered tasteless.

I know exactly how you feel, Robin. I haven’t been able to touch Cheez-Wiz since I saw a hobo swat a Pacific Dampwood termite.

I’ll never forget the look of blind hatred on that man’s face. It communicated this: “I want what you have.”

“…a chitinous exoskeleton and a segmented thorax.”

And: “If I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it.”

He punctuated this threat with insane, cackling laughter, then asked, “Is that from Pinkberry? You gonna finish that?”

This random experience flashed in my mind recently when I was in a Berkeley bookstore. With my newfound interest in religion, I wanted to peruse that section.

After hunting down a clerk to unearth the tiny religion area, I perused the shelves.

That’s some pretty fierce determination. Reminds me of Caesar’s stark report to the Roman Senate on his battle with Pharnaces II of Pontus, “I came, I saw, I perused.”

In actuality, the area should have been called the Anti-Christianity Section.

While there were respectful tomes on the other religions, the Christianity section was a virtual pillorying of Jesus.

Shocking, I agree. That kind of thing has no place in a bookstore, which is supposed to cater to, even foster, an atmosphere of intellectual curiosity and openness. Virtually pillorying Jesus is a pastime that’s much better left to some of the kinkier Catholic roleplay areas of Second Life.

Every book denounced him, mocked him, or reinvented him as something entirely new. There were books debunking the Gospel, with each author sounding gleeful, like a wicked child.

Now, I understand that some people reject religion. But why the venom? The contempt, the need to torpedo Christ?

Gleeful but contemptuous children always attack the Savior with venom-tipped torpedoes. We tried training sea snakes to attack him while he’s walking on water, but they’re all draftees and lack the necessary gung ho and esprit de corps, so our best strategy is to use a submarine to track the Messiah with passive sonar, running silent, running deep until he reaches the middle of the Dead Sea. Then we rise to periscope depth and fire our fish. If we’re lucky, he’ll get confused and accidentally multiply the fish so he goes up in a really big explosion.

This campaign against Christianity isn’t confined to an obscure Berkeley bookstore. And it didn’t begin with Obama. There’s been an active crusade for decades to try to destroy Jesus with Alinksy-like[sic] tactics: freeze the subject, humiliate, marginalize.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
I’ve been around for a long, long year,
Stole many a man’s soul and faith.
And I was round when Jesus Christ
Was subjected to Alinsky-like tactics such as freezing, humiliating and marginalizing.
Pleased to meet you!
Hope you guess my name…

“Saul Alinksy?”

“Uh…It’s Alinsky, actually, but, uh…Yeah. That’s right. (SIGH) Here…you win the plush panda.”

But while demonizing Christianity is nothing new, it’s reached a fever pitch since Obama came on the scene. It’s no wonder: Obama sent out clear messages from the start.

First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of placing a mildly irreverent pop-up book about Jesus in an obscure bookstore in Berkeley…

Obama’s first interview as president was for an Arab broadcaster. Then he covered up a cross at Notre Dame and was a no-show on the National Day of Prayer.

Lately, it seems like open season on Christians. The Pope has been subjected to unprecedented condemnation, with atheists Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens plotting ways to have him arrested.

Actually, that seems more like open season on child molestation, which does sound kind of unfair, since pedophiles have traditionally been hunted in May, along with the spring gobblers.

Comedy Central plans a cartoon show mocking Jesus. On the TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David does something so offensive that I will only offer you a link.

That would be the Curb episode where Larry is taking some drug with diuretic side-effects and he pees so hard that some of the backsplash hits a portrait of Jesus over the toilet. The woman who owns it immediately assumes that the image is miraculously weeping, and Larry feels awkward about raining on her parade after golden showering her Messiah.

In the past I would simply put on my therapist cap with people like these. I’d probe their childhood for evidence of maltreatment. I’d label them as narcissists and antisocial personalities.

Which is how I plan to get therapy from Robin without paying for it — all she has to do is walk past a copy of , and she’ll be psycho-analyzing the hell out of us.

But now I have a different worldview, one that goes much deeper than just the psychological. Now I understand that this world is infused with the Divine. And that there is a competing force, one that is the polar opposite.

…a force that didn’t star in a series of John Waters films

I now have a word for that creepy feeling deep down in my gut. And I finally understand the source.

Excellent! I think we’ve made a breakthrough. Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have today –

Now I see what’s really behind the campaign to banish religion; it’s to render us utterly helpless. Because after all, without God, what protection is there in this brutal world?

Sadly, grievously, I look out on my country. I see the corruption and undoing. I witness the ever-growing tsunami of hate that threatens everyone in its path.

And I see citizens oblivious to the dangers because they’re mired in the slime of moral relativism. They have no language, no hiding place, no possible way to shield their children in the deep and darkest nights.

Geez! One guys steps on a cicada, and suddenly it’s The Road.

And I see that lunatic, the one with the crazy, hollow eyes. But he’s not just on Telegraph Avenue.

“Wherever there’s a guy beatin’ up on a bug, I’ll be there…”

He’s far and wide: in the hallowed halls of Congress, in the institutes of higher learning, in basement rooms where small men troll.

I don’t care how small you are; if you can troll in your basement, you really ought to check to see if your water heater is leaking.

If you listen closely, you can hear that same diabolical cry: “I want what you have.

That’s the same diabolical cry I often hear at Baja Fresh when I order the Mahi Mahi Crispy Tacos but my companion unwisely went with the Bare Burrito.

And if I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it.”

Curiously, this is the same thing Robin says to her clients when talking about their sanity.

Get the Butterfly Net!, Oh Lord | 36 Comments »

You may remember wingnut psychotherapist Robin of Berkeley from this piece, in which she diagnosed the entire country as insane after noticing that whenever she meets someone — on the street, in a shop, even in a friend’s home — the light immediately goes out in their eyes. Concerned, Dr. of Berkeley performed an epidemiological analysis, and quickly determined the reason that people turned off their headlights whenever she appeared: “[i]t’s Obama, of course.”

And if Americans are being driven crazy by the president, then it’s reasonable to assume that Obama himself is crazy — but what flavor of crazy? (I’m guessing it’s either Banana Split Personality or Gestalt ‘n Pepper.)

A Shrink Asks: What’s Wrong with Obama?

So what is the matter with Obama? Conservatives have been asking this question for some time. I’ve written a number of articles trying to solve the mystery.

Articles such as Is Obama a Narcissist? (Robin’s answer: “Probably, but that’s the least of our problems.” Our bigger problem is that, while Dr. of Berkeley is “not in a position to offer a definite diagnosis about Obama” because, for one thing, she doesn’t appear to be a doctor, Obama does seem to be “a witch’s brew of psychopathology: a narcissist, sociopath, and paranoid, with a generous dollop of delusional disorder thrown in.”)

Even some liberals are starting to wonder. James Carville railed about Obama’s blasé attitude after the catastrophic oil spill. The New York Times’ Maureen Dowd revamped Obama’s “Yes We Can” motto into “Will We Ever?”

It’s true, even ardent, hardcore liberal Democrats like Maureen Dowd realize that if only Obama had generated enough bile, we could have used it to plug the gushing well (drilling experts call it “Spleen Shot”). And yet, not all leftists are demanding that the president rage, rage against the dying of the Gulf. Ma Joad, for instance, appreciates and approves of Obama’s measured approach to a crisis, because maybe a fella hasn’t got a soul of his own, just a piece of a big one, in which cause, having the President of the United States stomping around the community soul would make it hard to concentrate when you’re trying to listen to Queen for a Day or Mary Noble, Backstage Wife.

“Did they hurt ya, Mr. President? Did they hurt ya and make ya mean mad?…Sometimes they do somethin’ to ya. They hurt ya and ya get mad and then ya get mean. Then they hurt ya again and ya get meaner and meaner til you ain’t no president nor commander-in-chief anymore, just a walkin’ chunk of mean mad. Did they hurt ya that way son?…Why, I don’t want no mean President.”

New York Times columnist Ma Joad in undated file photo.

The liberal women of the TV show “The View” have expressed sympathy for Michelle Obama’s living with a man so out of touch. Peggy Noonan, hardly a vehement Obama foe, recently pronounced him disconnected.

And Peggy Noonan, having worked for Ronald Reagan, knows whereof she speaks.

Obama’s odd mannerisms intrigue a psychotherapist like me. He also presents a serious diagnostic challenge.

“Sit down, Mr. Obama, and just try to relax; as I assured you before, everything said in this office is completely confidential. Now, I’ve been going over my notes from our last session, and I see that despite being provoked by a major multinational corporation, you haven’t been drinking heavily or beating your wife, and I have to tell you, this kind of behavior is making my job very difficult…”

For one, Obama’s teleprompter and the men behind the Blackberry keep him well-scripted. We know so little about the facts of his life.

Except that he can apparently read and use a smartphone. This would suggest Obama has a condition we call technoliteracy, which is often the sign of a serial killer. Ted Bundy, for instance, was known to have mastered Touch Tone Dialing at an early age.

But it’s more than just a lack of information. Obama himself is a strange bird. He doesn’t fit easily into any diagnostic category.

Is he a Nubian? A Blackamoor? The DSM IV is unclear…

Many people attribute Obama’s oddness to his narcissism. True, Obama has a gargantuan ego, and he is notoriously thin-skinned.

Even though everyone’s been so polite to him. Now just try to imagine how Obama would react if someone — say, a speaker at a Tea Party rally, or a columnist at American Thinker — compared him to Hitler or Stalin or Pol Pot; it’d be like watching Yosemite Sam after he’s been infected with that 28 Days Later virus.

Yet a personality disorder like narcissism does not explain Obama’s strangeness: his giggling while being asked about the economy; his continuing a shout-out rather than announcing the Ft. Hood shootings; or his vacations, golfing, partying and fundraising during the calamitous oil spill.

Surgical intervention seems to be the only option. We should either expose his super-ego to kryptonite to make him less narcissistic, or bombard his head with gamma rays, which will finally allow him to show anger (American Thinker readers won’t like him when he’s angry, but they want him impeached as it is, so the whole situation is kind of a push). Or we could just remove his uterus, since that always works.

Take also Obama’s declaring on the “Today Show” that he wants to know whose ass to kick. Consummate narcissists would never stoop to this vulgar display of adolescent machismo.

Obama is flat when passion is needed; he’s aggressive when savvy is required. What’s most worrisome is that Obama doesn’t even realize that his behavior is inappropriate.

He’s like a psychotherapist who pontificates when he should listen, criticizes when he should empathize, and diagnoses serious psychological ailments from three thousand miles away. Guy’s a mess.

If I saw a client as disconnected as him, the first thing I would wonder: Is something wrong with his brain?

Must be. Michael Savage wrote a book entitled Liberalism is a Mental Disorder, and he has a Ph.D in “nutritional ethnomedicine.”

And I’d consider the following theoretical diagnostic possibilities.

–Physical problems: There are a multitude of physiological conditions that can cause people to act strangely. For instance: head injuries, endocrine disturbances, epilepsy, and toxic chemical exposure.

It makes me wonder: Did Obama ever have a head injury? His stepfather in Indonesia was purportedly an alcoholic abuser. Was Obama subject to any physical abuse?

As Robin points out in her previous article, Is Obama a Narcissist?, her “[i]nformation on Obama’s childhood [is] drawn from the books, The Case Against Barack Obama, and The Obama Nation, as well as Wikipedia.” So apparently, when attempting to “diagnosis an ailment,” modern medical professionals use a process similar to “spreading a rumor,” which is probably why Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital is such a hotbed of sexytime.

– Drugs and alcohol: Damage to the brain from drugs and alcohol can also cause significant cognitive impairments. Obama once said that there were 57 states — and didn’t correct himself. Memory problems can be caused by both illicit and prescription drug use.

Obama admits to a history of drug use in his youth. Did his usage cause some damage? Does Obama still use?

Good question. On a side note, it seems the good NotDoctor has forgotten that she already wrote this column in 2009. Is she an amnesiac? A drug addict? Sadly, I’m not in a position to offer a definite diagnosis. For all I know she has a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that requires her, when sitting at the keyboard, to precisely repeat a complex serious of motions and gestures that results in her crapping out the same American Thinker post.

–Asperger’s Syndrome: Also known as high-functioning autism, Asperger’s causes deficits in social skills. A person with Asperger’s can’t read social cues. Consequently, he can be insensitive and hurtful without even knowing it.

Autism — traditionally known as “the rocket sled to the Presidency.”

Could Obama have Asperger’s? He might have some mild traits, but certainly not the full-blown disorder. In contrast to Obama, those with Asperger’s get fixated on some behavior, like programming computers. Obama lacks this kind of passion and zeal.

Most reputable psychologists suspect that Obama has Asburger’s Syndrome, named for its most famous sufferer, J. Wellington Wimpy, who even when he was telling you that he would gladly — gladly! — pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today, never really sounded all that worked up about it.

–Mental Illness: Obama’s family tree is replete with the unbalanced. His maternal great-grandmother committed suicide. His grandfather, Stanley Dunham, was particularly unhinged: He was expelled from high school for punching his principal; named his daughter Stanley because he wanted a boy; and exposed young Barry to not just drunken trash talk, but unrestricted visits with alleged pedophile Frank Marshall Davis (who might or might not be Obama’s biological father). Barack Sr. was an abusive, alcoholic bigamist.

And his mother struggled most of her adult life with “jungle fever.”

Since mental illness runs in the family, does Obama have any signs? Yes and no. No, he is not a schizophrenic babbling about Martians. But there are red flags for some other conditions.

While Obama doesn’t appear to hallucinate, he seems to have delusions. His believing he has a Messiah-like special gift smacks of grandiose delusions.

This can lead to embarrassing and even alarming public scenes, most often when Obama boards an airliner and suddenly decides that he can sit wherever he wants, regardless of what the flight attendant has to say.

His externalizing all blame to conservatives, George W. Bush, or the “racist” bogeyman hints at persecutory delusions.

Obama: Hey, the guy who had this house before me? When I moved in, I found he’d piled all the furniture in the middle of each room and set it on fire. He also wrote “F.U.” really big on the lawn in salt, and then he took a crap in the Cuisinart and left it running…”

NotDoctor Robin: I see. And you don’t feel guilty about making him do that? Hm… (PRETENDS TO SCRIBBLE NOTE, DOODLES FLYING PENISES DOGFLIGHTING OVER THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT) Let’s talk more about how your grandfather exposed you to drunken trash talk by naming your mother Stanley…

Along with a delusional disorder, Obama may fit for a mild psychotic disorder called schizotypal disorder. It may explain some of Obama’s oddness.

People with schizotypal disorder hold bizarre beliefs, are suspicious and paranoid, and have inappropriate and constricted affect. They have few close friends and are socially awkward. A schizotypal is someone like your strange cousin Becky who is addicted to astrology, believes she is psychic, and is the oddball at social gatherings.

Schizotypal Disorder does ring some bells vis-à-vis Obama. One way the diagnosis doesn’t fit, however, is that schizotypals are generally harmless, odd ducks. Not so with Obama.

Client: …and lately I’ve been feeling depressed and unloved. It seems like no one cares, no one listens, no — What are you doing?

NotDoctor Robin: Nothing.

Client: Yes, you are, you’re not even paying attention, you’re — Are you skinning a mole?

NotDoctor Robin: No.

Client: Yes you are!

NotDoctor Robin: It’s a gopher.

Client: What — do you do taxidermy in your spare time — ?

NotDoctor Robin: No.

Client: Shouldn’t you at least wait til it’s dead before you –

NotDoctor Robin: I think we should avoid getting sidetracked here, and focus on your bizarre beliefs and inappropriate behavior. Hand me those pliers, would you?

–Trauma: My gut tells me that Obama was seriously traumatized in childhood. His mother disregarded his basic needs, dragged him all over the place, and ultimately abandoned him.

But I think there may be something even more insidious in his family background. While I can’t prove it, the degree of Obama’s disconnect reminds me of my sexually abused clients.

Client: Thanks for seeing me. I’ve been trying to quit smoking, but with all the layoffs at work I’ve been really stressed out, and my wife thought I should talk to a thera–

NotDoctor Robin: YOU HAVE BEEN TOUCHED IN THE UNCLEAN PLACE!

With serious sexual abuse, the brain chemistry may change. The child dissociates — that is, disconnects from his being — in order to cope. Many adult survivors still dissociate, from occasional trances to the most extreme cases of multiple personality disorder.

Okay, suddenly this isn’t funny anymore (although you may well have come to this same conclusion about ten paragraphs back). Really, Robin? A little projection is one thing, but are you seriously conscripting survivors of childhood sexual abuse as cannon fodder in your war on the Black Guy in the White House? Seriously?

Apparently, young Barry was left in the care of Communist Frank Marshall Davis, who admitted to molesting a 13-year-old girl. As a teenager, Obama wrote a disturbing poem, “Pop,” that evoked images of sexual abuse — for instance, describing dual amber stains on both his and “Pop’s” shorts.

Sigh. NotDoctor Robin’s text today is taken from fellow American Thinker Jack Cashill (he of the “William Ayers ghost wrote Obama’s books” theory), whose detective work has lead him to wonder if Obama’s grandfather was actually his father (young Barack being the fruit of a liaison between Stanley Dunham, Sr. and some B-girl from the Negro taverns he frequented), or if he was sired by “Frank Marshall Davis, a black communist, pornographer, and poet,” who had gotten physical with the young Stanley Ann, and to avoid scandal, family friend Barack Obama, Sr. had agreed to marry her and masquerade as the baby daddy, much as Eddie Bracken did for Betty Hutton in The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek. Occam’s Razor says Yes!

Would trauma explain Obama’s disconnect? In many ways, yes. A damaged and unattached child may develop a “false self.” To compensate for the enormous deficits in identity and attachment, the child invents his own personality. For Obama, it may have been as a special, gifted person.

The sad reality, of course, is that he’s a dull little man leading a gray, ordinary existence, only briefly and secretly enlivened by Walter Mitty-like fantasies of being the Leader of the Free World.

Along with the brain issues are personality disorders: narcissism, paranoia, passive-aggressiveness. There’s even the possibility of the most destructive character defect of all, an antisocial personality. Untreated abuse can foster antisocial traits, especially among boys.

If my assessment is accurate, what does this mean?

It means that stadium parkas and comfort-rated mukluks are suddenly popular in Hell?

It means that liberals need to wake up and spit out the Kool-Aid…and that conservatives should put aside differences, band together, and elect as many Republicans as possible.

Because Obama will not change. He will not learn from his mistakes. He will not grow and mature from on-the-job experience. In fact, over time, Obama will likely become a more ferocious version of who he is today.

He will become more viciously, ferociously non-viscious and ferocious.

Why? Because this is a damaged person. Obama’s fate was sealed years ago growing up in his strange and poisonous family. Later on, his empty vessel was filled with the hateful bile of men like Rev. Wright and Bill Ayers.

Obama will not evolve; he will not rise to the occasion; he will not become the man he was meant to be. This is for one reason and one reason alone:

He is not capable of it.

Exactly. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, diagnose.

Get the Butterfly Net! | 25 Comments »

*And for once I’m not talking about a depressed male porn star.

The election results are in, and it appears that Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. was thwarted in her campaign to become California Secretary of State. Dr. Taitz Esq.’s plan, of course, was to use her control of the election process to throw Obama off the ballot in 2012 by charging him with high crimes and misdemeanors such as Attempted Usurpation, Aggravated Socialism and Excessive Melanin. But Dr. Taitz Esq. is not allowing the election results to dampen her resolve, or the resolve of the people who didn’t vote for her:

ELECTION RESULTS DIDN’T DAMPEN RESOLVE OF THE PUBLIC TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT OBAMA’S ILLEGITIMACY TO PRESIDENCY. THE NUMBERS ACTUALLY WENT UP. TODAY “ORLY TAITZ” IS THE 22ND MOST POPULAR SEARCH ON THE NET AMONG BILLIONS OF DIFFERENT SEARCHES

I didn’t see Orly peaking on Google Trends, but I have no doubt that many people were indeed typing her name into search engines today, for just as Orly believes in the ultimate vindication of justice, I believe in the constant triumph of schadenfreude. Nevertheless, the ability of her olfactory sense to detect electoral chicanery is keen, and she has noticed a very strange coincidence: not only did Californians decline to vote for her, they also didn’t vote for other crazy people!

OPEN LETTER TO STEVE POIZNER

“Dr. Orly Taitz ESQ”
To:
“Brian Anders OC REPUBLIC” , “bernie polak”
Cc:
“GOPUSA” , “Orly Taitz”
Can you call me at 949-683-5411?

It’s an “open letter,” but I don’t think that means she actually wants all of us to call her. Maybe just one person should call her, and the rest of us can get on the extension.

I researched electrons results.

Turns out they’re elementary particles that carry a negative electric charge.

All the candidates, who were strong against illegal immigration were kept at around 25%.

If you look Nationwide teaparty backed candidates were winning elections: Sharon Angle in NV, Rand Paul in KY. In CA all tea party backed candidates were kept at this imaginary line of about 25%.

So apparently 25% of Californians are phantasms. I knew this was going to happen as soon as we amended the state constitution to count kids’ imaginary friends as 3/5 of a person.

In my election in Los Angeles county I got over 30% and statewide 26%, but all in all there was a wall, and tea party backed candidates, anti illegal immigration candidates, pro second amendmet candidates, anti-corrupt establishment candidates were kept behind that wall.

Hm. I guess we did “complete the danged fence,” but apparently it’s facing the wrong way.

It worries me, it means the candidates that were elected, regardless of the party will vote for amnesty. Some surveys show that there are 30 million illegals in this country.

And twice that many bats in Orly’s head, although most of them have settled down and have green cards.

If they go through amnesty, it is the end of the republic as we know it. We will be a de facto destitute third world banana republic

Although if most of the illegal aliens are from Moldova, then we’ll be more of a ghiveci republic, a form of representational government that goes well with stewed fruit compote and vodka.

I hope Steve Poizner [who lost the Republican gubernatorial primary to Meg Whitman] does not stop the fight. He is a billioner.

I’m no financial expert, but I believe a “billioner” is a person employed in the Accounts Receivables department of one of those gold brokers that advertise on Glenn Beck’s show, who bills you for your bullion.

He can provide financial support for legal actions, canvassing, analysis of Diebolt and Sequoia voting machines, outreach to the voters to fight corrupt and toxic thugs in the media.

Well, they’re not all thugs. I bet if Rachel Maddow mutates as a result of her exposure to the oil spill, she’ll become more of a Toxic Avenger.

He is a father. I hope he wants his daughter and his future granchildren to live in a constitutional Republic, not tyranny that we are seing today.

With Tea Partiers trapped behind walls, and a republic that can be peeled and sliced up, then served on Bran Flakes or made into a delicious smoothie.

Please contact him and asked him to continue the fight,
Sincerely
Dr. Orly Taitz, ESq

this letter was sent to Poizner campaign administrator

Yeah, I’m sure this was the first thing campaign administrator wanted to see this morning while he was updating his resume.

Get the Butterfly Net! | 17 Comments »

It’s been awhile since we last visited with Sher Zieve, America’s Most Wistful Paranoid™, and since the rash seems to be fading, why don’t we drop in on RenewAmerica. Hm? Shall we?

You go first…

Obama and the elephants in the USA’s living room

The following column is not a fairy tale. I only wish that it were. Some years ago, an advertisement against alcoholism ran on television.

Typical lamestream media nanny-statism. And I bet the networks never once ran an advertisement promoting alcoholism. There’s two sides to every story, you know.

In the Ad, an elephant was depicted bumping into and breaking furniture in a living room while the resident occupants ignored it. But eventually, try as they might, they could not. Suffice it to say, the Ad depicted Americans’ reluctance to deal with severe and glaringly obvious problems within their families. But, try as we will, eventually elephants can and will no longer be ignored.

The lesson is clear: Don’t cheat on your wife with an elephant.

Today, there are now so many elephants in the USA’s living room that they are bumping into each other and multiple stadiums need to be erected to hold them.

Here in L.A. we used to hold elephants in the Coliseum, but there weren’t enough luxury skyboxes from which the alcoholic wealthy could ignore them.

It appears that Obama has brought most of them into our house; or is at the very least the one who willingly and even effervescently allowed them in. A new, improved and nauseatingly capricious Hannibal, perhaps?

Perhaps? How about abso-friggin’-lutely! I’ve gotten a bit bored with the “Obama is Stalin/Hitler/Mussolini/Mao/Pinocchio/Mr.Whipple” meme, and if nothing else, Obama as Hannibal would put a very entertaining backspin on traditional Republican symbology.

But this is where the tricky part comes in:

However, instead of a traditional familial grouping that overlooks said pachyderms, Obama’s “family” is the leftist media — and of course his adherents (who include members of Congress — all Democrats and most RINOs) and sycophants. Oops! I forgot, the Obama media, adherents and sycophants are one in the same and all belong to his leftist totalitarian family.

So they’re like hillbillies you can poach for their ivory!

1. First and foremost — and the biggest elephant of all — is the lack of a true and viable birth certificate. Without said certificate, Obama is a usurper of the US Presidency. That which has, thus far, been given to the erstwhile press and Obama’s other fawning flatterers is nothing more than a short form Certificate of Live Birth — a certificate that (at the time of The Obama’s birth) Hawaii issued even to those who were foreign born and not US citizens. It may still follow this practice, today.

Somebody should probably look into that. Let’s put it on the “To Do” list for after the Coup.

In his quest for ultimate power, Obama ignores the US Constitution.

Which requires the President of the United States to present his birth certificate upon demand from a blanched Stooge.

And his media and Congress allow him to get away with it. So many pay-offs so many bribes? That’s a Dictatorship

(and Amore!)

(aka Tyranny), folks. By the way, our US Republic is gone.

Please do not reveal the incredible twist ending to “Obama and the elephants in the USA’s living room.”

2. Obama’s “health” care bill was the fight its instigator said he must win. And Obama won not only by attacking and fighting against the will of We-the-People but, will soon also be over our dead bodies. Yes, Virginia, Death Panels are STILL contained within the ObamaCare Death Plan and so are some of the ugliest commands against human life and one of — if not the thus far — most Machiavellian pieces of legislation ever written. No right to life? No “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” no Republic. But then, a smaller population is easier for the slave masters to manage and control.

I’m not sure, but I think she’s trying to write a Gor novel.

3. Knowing full well that Arizona is under siege from and by Mexican drug cartels, that Phoenix is now the #2 city in the world with the most kidnappings (drug cartel related) and #1 in the USA and drug-related murders of US citizens are increasing exponentially in that State, Obama and his regime have refused all desperate pleas from AZ Governor Jan Brewer for help.

When will the usurper Obama stop pretending to be the President and start acting like the loose cannon cop in a mid-80s Simpson/Bruckheimer action flick who may be crazy, but he’s the only hope we’ve got!

The passage of this bill — AZ SB 1070 — was mandatory, in order to begin to protect US citizens from the daily onslaught of the drug cartel members and thousands upon thousands of other illegals who have successfully — with the tacit assistance of a politically motivated US government — invaded the State of Arizona.

Maybe Bush should have launched a pre-emptive war on Arizona instead. Would’ve saved on gas.

Again, the Obama federal government will do nothing to protect US citizens. Instead, it now protects the illegal invaders…Now [Obama] and his Marxist entourage will march and riot against protecting US citizens and he and his willing Congress will attempt to force though another new Amnesty bill — which will protect the drug lords who have invaded and are taking over portions of what used to be OUR sovereign country. The drug lords’ payroll is rapidly increasing. USA as a new 3rd world country? It appears so.

There is some good news, though. The drug lords aren’t quite as snippy as the time lords; and according to Shermp, they’re hiring.

4. Obama & Co is stealing all of the money they can from We-the-People.

He also boosted my hubcaps.

They have affected it via all of the Obama “stimulus” bills (bills that stimulate only him, his masters and his minions)

President Barack Obama and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, conferring on the distribution of TARP funds, have a frank and open exchange of views and spit.

Then, there is the Obama nationalization of one industry after another (including banks — where OUR money is stored), Cap and Trade (to add additional taxes and charges to further bleed us dry and destroy any chance We-the-People have to continue our usage of energy

Denied access to the national power grid, Sher is forced to use one of those typwriting birds from the The Flintstones to chisel her columns directly onto the Internet.

Yes, folks, the elephants are too numerous to list here. It will take many books to list them all.

I would recommend starting with the Dr. Seuss classic, Horton Hears a Home Invasion by Illegal Aliens.

[T]he problem we have is that — at least — the US Government Executive and Legislative branches are now a totalitarian entity that is willfully ignoring US citizens in favor of their own personal wealth and power; wealth and power that is now being stolen each and every day from all of us. And, this same government has begun to arrest and incarcerate political prisoners — those who oppose Obama.

Truly, one way or another it’s time to send Obama, his elephants and his elephant-trainers home — and that’s not the United States of America.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. Because he was a socialist who stole my pajamas.

Get the Butterfly Net! | 22 Comments »

RenewAmerica columnist Sher Zieve, the Bleached, Forgotten Stooge, has decided to switch gears this week and pitch us a post-apocalyptic thriller. And as readers of know, when it comes to this particular genre, we are experts, if not exactly aficionados (see Chapter 2: It’s the End of the World as We Know It, and I Feel Fine, But You’re All Dead).

Now beginning the Era of Captivity, the American people have entered a new stage in their once extremely productive lives.

This will either be a crawl at the beginning of the film, or maybe a voice-over by James Earl Jones, as the camera pans across a blasted, desolate wasteland, sort of like the opening to Judge Dredd.

This new phase has been purposefully designed to be unproductive and will be called ‘existence.’

We’re trying to come up with a snappier name. Maybe ExtenZe. Or EXistenZ — we’ve got the guys in Legal working on it.

Existence, however, will soon degrade and devolve — with no one stopping the perpetrators of this abhorrence — into subsistence.

I can’t believe we’ll sink so low — from merely existing to merely subsisting.

After that chapter has been written and read, life will have become so essentially bitter and untenable that additional deteriorations in life-conditions will carry no significant meaning — other than base survival.

I believe this is the part where Kevin Costner drinks his own pee.

Since the Usurper and Dictator in Chief Barack Hussein Obama assumed power and rule over American citizens in January 2009

It’s always good to give your bad guy an elaborate, fruity title, like “the Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV,” “the Steward of Gondor,” or “former Speaker Newt Gingrich.”

the United States of America has been under siege from far left terrorist ObamaMentors

I liked it better when they were just called “the Fresh-Makers.”

an increasing set of perverse and prurient Marxist and Maoist Czars, thieves creating hoaxes (“global warming: comes immediately to mind)

Why, the crooks even stole Sher’s close quotation marks!

in order to steal the resources of the USA out from under its inhabitant-owners

Well, it worked with the Indians.

and “The Obama” (this designation has quickly become most recent synonym for Tyrant) itself.

And the biggest dance craze since “the Mashed Potato.”

For anyone who still maintains the ability to see, hear and discern that which is occurring in reality, The Obama’s mission is clear.

Tommy, can you hear me? No? Well, that’s fine, she’s not talking to you anyway.

As a refresher, let’s again take a look at a very small portion of the clearly Draconian orders that The Obama has dictated and the Orwellian legislation the US Marxist-run Congress has passed since the despot has been in office.

There was that one resolution Congress passed about how they all like Christmas…

Despite the fact that the majority of We-the-People are strongly opposed to the ObamaCare Death Plan (some polls show the opposition as high as 72%), Obama and his Marxist Congress are determined to ram it down our throats.

Oh calm down, it’s just a tongue depressor.

The ObamaCare Death Plan is the virtually all-encompassing proposal that will lead very quickly to complete ObamaControl over everything the American people do and will give Obama’s commissars and Czars total control over who lives and who dies.

A job which should properly belong to .

The Obama Death Panels are back — and with a vengeance, folks!

Tonight on the Death Panel…The Amazing Kreskin! Totie Fields! With special musical guest, the Starland Vocal Band!

What will happen is that Obama & Co will have complete control over 1/6 of what’s left of the US economy. Can you say “another Marxist-Democrat slush fund with no healthcare, whatsoever?

I could, but I’d really rather take the trolley and see what King Friday’s up to.

Even though global warming has now been exposed as merely another scheme to steal money from the USA and its people, Obama traveled to Copenhagen and pledged $100 Billions to solving the, now admittedly unsolvable, manmade global warming issue. It can’t be solved because mankind dos not control climate change.

Well I hope DOS doesn’t control it, because frankly I’ve forgotten all those old C: prompt commands.

Obama and his fellow Marxists still plan to push the faux Cap & Trade (realistically “Cash & Tax”) program. And, as was accomplished with his despotic ObamaCare Death Plan, Obama will use any and all bribes (if money, it’s out of yours and my pockets) necessary to do so. The Chicago mob/syndicate is firmly in control of the US government.

It’s time to call Elliot Ness and his Untouchables. Lee! Rico! Youngblood!

The Obama has taken control of and nationalized our banks

He knows our PIN numbers!

Dispelling any rumors that Obama is not — himself — a criminal, Obama and his US Attorney General Eric Holder have said that Obama’s unlawful election-fraud unit ACORN WILL be funded. Note: Besides, Obama will need them for both the 2010 and 2012 elections

So…he dispelled rumors that he’s not a criminal? That’s a confession, right?

There are hundreds more examples of what The Obama has accomplished in his first year of office.

If only The Obama was on The Office. That would be The Shit.

But, I’ve almost made myself sick telling the truth about those listed above. The facts are there for all to see. Are you preparing for your own eradication under the hammer and sickle of the tyrant?

I know I should, but I’m such a procrastinator.

Still feeling peaceful?

If not, feel free to join the armed uprising Sher has been trying to foment for weeks. Her loyal militia is only waiting for the code word (“John has a long mustache”) and for some defense contractor to invent a helmet that’ll fit over helmet-hair.

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