• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!



    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

In an effort to add some international savoir-faire to our blog, I decided to post a recent article from a French news source. You can use it both to improve your foreign language skills and to gain some Continental perspective on current events.

The piece I have selected is from an online publication called “Pure People.” For those of you who don’t read French, I will try to translate as we go along. However, I must warn you that WordPress apparently metamorphized into a new species while I was trying to post this, so some of the prose may have been mangled during the transition. Read at your own risk.

David Caruso : Avec ses enfants, il oublie tous ses soucis judiciaires !

David Caruso: With his children, he forgets all his legal worries

Chaussé de Crocs, le sympathique mais peu souriant acteur David Caruso s’accorde des moments de qualité avec ses enfants pour chasser de sa vie ses récents problèmes…

Chased by crocodiles, the sympathetic but little smiling actor David Caruso grants a few quality moments to his children in an effort to drive from his life his recent problems

Bien embêté par son ex-femme qui lui réclame des sommes considérables, la star de la série Les Experts : Miami a décidé d’emmener dîner ses enfants…

Really bugged by his ex-wife who wants a lot of money from him or she goes to the police, the star of the series “The Experts: Miami” decides to eat his children.

En tenue terriblement décontractée, David Caruso a préparé son fils Marquez Anthony et sa fille Paloma Raquel pour sortir… Celui qui incarne à l’écran Horatio Caine leur a offert un bon repas au restaurant Carney’s train à Studio City, en les inondant de son amour… Un vrai papa poule !

Looking terribly laid-back and icky, David Caruso has prepared his son Marquee Anthony and his daughter Palm Tree to leave the house. The guy who incarnates on the screen Horatio Caine is giving the kids a good meal at the Studio City restaurant “Meat”, where he floods them with his love, a true father hen and a big pussy.

Epaulé par une nounou, le comédien de 54 ans s’est bien occupé de ses deux adorables bambins qui aiment eux aussi passer du temps avec leur papa, sans se soucier de la déchirure de leur famille…

Helped by a nanny who does all the real work, the 54-year-old comedian cares for his two adorable kids, who are forced to pretend that they like spending time with their papa, pretending not to worry about the rending of their family by their creepy father, who destroyed their home with his weird sexual practices, his overweening ego, and his head filled with poop.

There, wasn’t that educational? I hope you have found amusant this tres gentil post about un dickhead formidable.

16 Responses to “Classy, PBS-Like Foreign Post”

Having taken French in college, I can pretty much make out what the “Pure People” article is acutally saying, but I like your translation waayyy better!

I think you need to continue this practice on a regular basis, SZ. Whether the piece is in a foreign language or GOP language, translating it for us will do everyone a world of good.

un dickhead formidable is le mot juste.

Chaussé de Crocs

Vraiment, il vous faut nous donner la vraie tradcution. C’est bien plus dégoûtant.

Dammit, I wish to hell that I could remember *MY* college French(well, aside from the dirty parts…)!!!

The only part where I really got confused, though, and the problem is DEFINITELY not with the translation…

“le comédien”???!?!?!??!!?!??!?!?!!!

PLEASE tell me that this worshiper de le génie Caruso was being SNIDE!!!!!!

This is exactly how most Wikipedia entries are written, except it’s then run through a committee.

Did he teach his kids to wear their sunglasses on their necks thing?

… and keep their arms akimbo?

un dickhead formidable is le mot juste.

Yeah, but I’m waiting for a French linguist to barbecue her for the Franglais.

Chaussé de Crocs

“Seared on his idiotic deck shoes”? Huh?

“le comédien”???!?!?!??!!?!??!?!?!!!

“Comédien” just means “actor” in French (by way of the Greek definition of ‘comedy’, not the modern English definition).

Yeah, “actor” is even more of a stretch. *puts on glasses* (YEEAAAAAH)

I actually thought Caruso was good in Session 9, but he seriously beat that memory to shit with his CSI tripe-trope.

Arms akimbo, indeed. Sunglasses on your neck, head tilted, Inspector Fish Lips by your side.

Djur, one thing that I *do* remember from French class is that they have even more synonyms and inflected ways of saying one thing than even the English language does.

Can’t call ‘em all to mind at the moment, but there are at least two or three other ways to say “actor,” without it leading back to classical definitions. And “le comédien” isn’t always used in the classical sense, any more than “femme” or “merde” always mean the dictionary definitions.

Hence my horror upon reading that sentence.

Fascinating. See, now I gotta go find an episode of Les Experts: Miami online so I can hear some of Caruso’s mystifyingly dopey sunglass-donning “looks like he’s the one chasing the crocodiles now” scene-punctuators delivered en Francais, to see if they sound as smarmily self-satisfied or as bereft of wit or meaning as they do in English.

Je suis le roi de le divan.

Ca plane pour moi moi moi moi moi
Ca plane pour moi!

*Applausedissements de golf*

Bien joué, s.z.!!!


Something to say?