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Archive for October 22nd, 2009

Scouting Report

Posted by scott on October 22nd, 2009

AllanErickson.jpg We don’t hang around the sandlots as much as we used to, thanks to the restraining order, but every once in awhile we’ll still catch a glimpse of a hot young fireballer burning up the bus leagues.  Today it’s Allan Erickson, who was called up from Short-Season A to play for American Thinker, and who pitched a shutout entitled Obama’s war on Fox News & half the country.  Now I’m sure some of you are checking your programs and thinking to yourself, “Who the hell is Allan Erickson?  And why are all these douchebags named Erickson?”  (As Jay B. once observed in comments: “Lars Larson. Erik Erickson. Douchebag Douchebageson. It’s a thing now.”)

Well, Allan is…some guy.  I guess that would be the best way to put it.  He has a personal blog, called “GOODNESS WORLD LIFE BLOG,” which — aside from sounding as though its title was badly translated from the Japanese — is distinguished by its apparent refusal to follow the modern fad for blogging with words, since it consists mostly of YouTube videos featuring global warming skeptics, patriotic half-time shows, and that crazy British Lord who thinks Obama is going to trade America to the EU in exchange for 24 dollars and a string of beads.  But occasionally he will make bold assertions of fact, which he then meticulously footnotes to prove they probably aren’t true:


Are they?  I don’t think they are.  Why, have you heard something?

Sound like hyperbole?

I wish you’d made this quiz multiple choice.  Um…I’m gonna say, No?

Check out the facts.  (*Some are disputed.)

That’s going to make it very hard to grade.

Any civilization requires a 2.11 minimum fertility rate to survive.  Fertility rates in Europe are below sustainable levels.   The U.S. and Canadian fertility rates are about 1.6.   Thanks to influx of Latinos, our fertility rate is 2.11.   (We’d better reach out to Latinos!)  In 1970, there were 100,000 Muslims in America.  Today, there are more than 9,000,000 Muslims in America. (*BBC says the number is much lower.)

Europe is already gone.

Crap.  I meant to order some of that runny cheese before they went.

In 39 years, France will be a Muslim republic due to immigration and birth rates.  The French are not reproducing at a rate which will sustain their culture.  Meanwhile, Muslims are immigrating to France, and out breeding the French 8 to one.  (*BBC study disputes this conclusion.)

*BBC also thinks you look like the poor man’s Willem Dafoe.

Germany will be an Islamic republic by 2050: Germans openly acknowledge this fact. (*Another controversial assertion.)

This post reminds me of those arguments between Norman Bates and his “mother,” except it’s about demographics instead of murder, and I don’t remember any of Norman’s personalities being quite this racist.

But Mr. Erickson, as we said, got the Call, and is now hurling a little chin music at the President:

It is a good thing President Obama & Co. are angry with Fox.  It means Fox is doing its job, you know, holding the Executive Branch accountable, like a real news organization.

It is, indeed, an incredible simulation.

A real news organization serves the people, acting as a check on power by informing people so they can make good decisions at the polls.

But even when the voter is decisive and brimming with information, there still may be a moment of confusion when he gets to the polling place and realizes ACORN isn’t on the ballot.

The fact that Fox is holding Obama’s feet to the fire should cause rejoicing.

Oh, I’m sure there will be — they’re just waiting for the coals to get hot.  Fox viewers like their presidential feet with those char-broiled grill marks.

On the other hand, there are three bad news dimensions to all this:

Length, width, and depth?

…the rest of the media is content to lick Obama’s boots

Which frankly taste dry and overcooked.

…true to pattern Obama is glad to selfishly attack a private news organization (by the way, the most highly rated television news group in the nation), and the more Nero fiddles, the higher the flames.

So it’s his own fault his feet are burned, because the grill temperature is controlled by violin.  (And may I just say, when Willem commits to a metaphor, it’s for better or worse, till death do they part.)

Barack Obama is happy to fight a war on Fox.  Oh, that the Commander in Chief would fight the war on terror with as much energy and focus.

I agree.  Obama should order a Predator drone to follow Glenn Beck around and shoot Hellfire missiles at his Escalade.

He preaches unity with his mouth, but with his hands, he sows seeds of division.

He should spit the seeds of division out, leaving his hands free to fiddle up the fire, because Grandma likes her Tri-tip well done.  Now stand back and give Willem some air…

Do not forget how he applied thug tactics during the campaign while denigrating Fox, insulting average Americans as gun-toting Bible thumpers, encouraging racial tensions as he always had through ‘community organizing,’ i.e., ACORN.  Never forget how his machine took money from overseas.  Remember how he raised an enormous war chest via the internet with no way to track donors.  Don’t overlook the thug tactics used during the Texas caucuses, how law enforcement was instructed to suppress media criticism in Missouri, how free speech and a free press were quelled in Chicago when a reporter sought to cover Obama’s Chicago activities via Annenberg and Ayers and ‘education reform.’

(*BBC study concludes this is “a compendium of demented bullshit.”)

Notice today his army of Czars: radical leftists, race baiters, anti-American globalists, distinctly and angrily opposed to most traditional American values.

(*BBC throws up its hands and orders out for Chicken Vindaloo.)

And now we have his media czar Anita Dunn singing the praises of Chairman Mao, and bragging that the Obama campaign controlled the media. All this coming at a time she calls Fox nothing more than a Republican mouthpiece.  (Never mind that half of Fox’s viewers are Democrats and Independents, according to a recent survey by the Global Marketing Research Center.)

Ah yes, our old friends Global Marketing Research Center, and their poll for Dick Morris’ completely legitimate and totally not astroturfed Legion of Super-Villain Voters.

Journalists with an ounce of integrity see through the octopus ink now being spewed in the water, for this is what the war on Fox is all about, clouding the issues, providing cover, defense and retreat.  How odd to see a radical Leftist President in Nixonian garb.

Which really irks me, because this year I was gonna go as a Socialist Cephalopod Dressed as Nixon in Charred Wingtips for Halloween (it’s basically the standard Cthulu-in-a-suit costume, but you add a Tricky Dick mask and set your feet on fire).

Fox has been the only news TV organization willing to challenge this President on both foreign and domestic policy.  Fox is the only TV outfit with guts enough to run stories about ACORN corruption.  Fox is the only television organization covering what the roughly half the American people think about healthcare reform and cap ‘n trade, doing so with real coverage of Town Hall Meetings and Tea Parties.  Fox is the only substantive television news group asking the tough questions about Afghanistan.

Occasionally, while reading a wingnut’s column, I’ll come to an earnest and heartfelt passage like this, and realize how Glenn Corbett must have felt in Stranded in Space when he crash-landed on that fascist Earth on the opposite side of the Sun where everyone was left-handed and wore turtlenecks. But Willem is just getting warmed up…

The rest of the major media are either silent, complicit, or cheerleaders for this Government, a government populated in the main by radical leftists devoted to the destruction of our Republic, traitors by any definition.

Granted, accusing the press and the Administration of high treason is a commonplace nowadays, and some of you may be thinking Willem ought to be sent back down, that he clearly doesn’t have the stuff it takes to make it to the Show…

In case you have not noticed, the Constitution is taking a back seat to the EU and the U.N., and economic freedom is being absorbed into the socialist kool-aid served daily throughout D.C., the media, and the public schools.

And yeah, yeah, socialism and Jonestown references, that’s some pretty weak-ass cheese.  But wait’ll he throws the Sarah Palin whipping fantasy…!

Fox has challenged all this, and so Fox must pay.  Fox must pay, as Limbaugh did last week, by being tied to the scourging post and beat with lies, slander, and condemnation, excoriated in public by the most vicious and cruel campaign ever witnessed, unless you consider how Obama’s operatives treated Sarah Palin and her family to a similar whipping post.

And the beatings will continue.

We’re still getting daily search engine hits from that Nude Sarah Palin post Sheri wrote last October (“Was that title just a cheap stunt to bring up our Google hits, or was it part of a ploy by the police predator task force to seek out perverts?  Who can say.”), and I can only imagine what “Sarah Palin in Mandingo” is going to do for our stats.  Anyway, when I read Willem’s work I wonder why he wastes his time watching TV — even Fox News.  It’s like Shelly Berman’s line about Erskine Caldwell, “I don’t know why that man bothers seeking success.  He can have so much fun just sitting around, thinking.”

But just when you figured you’d got Willem’s windage, he throws a change-up! Out goes the flogging and the fire, and in comes the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!

The only remaining questions are: how long will the People put up with Al Capone in the White House, how far will Al Capone push things, what will be the end game (2010 or 2012?), and how many bodies will he leave in his wake, both at home, and abroad?

That is some Major League batshittery.  You could look it up.