• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!



    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

Archive for October 19th, 2009

Guest Column: Why Don’t They Just Call Her Tinker Bull?!

Posted by scott on October 19th, 2009
By Wo’C Senior Fairy Analyst Bill S.


It’s been a while since I’ve looked at the writings of Debbie Schlussel — there’s only so much misogyny, homophobia and racism I can take in a day, and her tendacy to cram them all into one column are enough to drive me away.  But it seems Little Debbie Crabcakes has gotten her bloomers in a twist over the animated children’s film Tinker Bell & the Lost Treasure, a straight-to-video release that isn’t even due out until next week. So what’s the source of her poutrage?  Well, let’s let her explain it:

Either Disney is trying to appease “modest” Muslims or they’ve gone the way of the rest of Hollywood and are trying to make their feminine characters more masculine.

One sentence in and she’s already not making any sense at all. I defy her to name one example of a recently masculinized female character, let alone multiple ones.

…the new and unimproved uniform and image of Tinker Bell leaves a lot to be desired…The new image is butch and silly. Moreover, it’s not that different from Peter Pan.

Uh-hum. Because, if there’s one I’d use to describe , it’s .

Gone are the girly shoes, and now, instead, there are lace up boots reminiscent of the Jolly Green Giant, Robin Hood, or an elf. No, your mother doesn’t wear hiking boots. Your Tinker Bell does.

I always thought the putdown was, “Your mama wears army boots”, but maybe that’s regional. Perhaps where Debbie’s from, suggesting your mother enjoys nature walks, or resembles an elf, is really, really insulting.

Disney said it wanted to give “Tink” a tomboyish look. Uh, talk about overdoing it. The new Tinker Bell could be dating Rosie O’Donnell.

Remember, girls and boys, “tomboy”=”lesbian”. What a great message to send to children.
Hey, maybe she/he/it can “run” the Department of Homeland Security.

There’s nothing I can add to that to make it more offensive. And once again, Debs is raging against a woman who’s more accomplished than she is. It must get exhausting, especially since she could toss a rock in a crowded room and hit one. Or a sparsley populated room. Or a kindergarten class.

Disney claims it’s new Tinker Bell Release, Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure…takes place in the fall when weather is cooler, but weather has never affected Tinker Bell couture before. It’s a cartoon character, not a weather dependant human.

Yeah, but the 6 or 7-year-old-girls who might want dress like her for Halloween are human, dumbass.

There’s nothing wrong with rebranding something to keep up with the times, but turning a charming, cute girly character into some masculine, butch action star is stupid. Unless you audience strictly WNBA.

Can someone explain her seemingly pathological hatred of women’s basketball to me?  And why does her preoccupation with “girly girls” remind me so much of those times Doug Giles goes on about “manly men”? Do these two had adjoining closets?

Tinker Bell has been wearing a skimpy dress for decades…

and providing wank material for the John Derbyshires of the world at least as long…

That’s what nymphs who fly around with magic wands do.

Based upon all scientific data.

This isn’t about modesty…

We know that. From what you wrote a couple paragraphs ago.

This isn’t about putting your girls in a less sexually saturated world.

If we wanted THAT, we’d be banning toddler beauty pageants.

It’s about putting them in a more emasculated one…

By making girls act more masculine? Um, okay.

As I always say, matriarchial societies die.

She “always says” a lot of stupid shit she can’t back up.

Butch Disney characters for girls is not a positive developement.

They isn’t?  Eh, whatevs. Based on the illustrations that accompany Deb’s column, Tink doesn’t appear all that butch anyway. And, judging from the clips I’ve found online, your child isn’t in any danger of turning into some raging bull dyke. She might, however, enjoy seeing a story where the heroine doesn’t sit around on her butt looking pretty, waiting to be rescued, but actually has an adventure of her own.

It’s more than Debs is doing.

–Bill S