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Archive for March 17th, 2010

Random Scenes of Hollywood

Posted by scott on March 17th, 2010

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Guitar Row, Sunset Boulevard.

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Peter Frampton is Pissed

Posted by scott on March 17th, 2010

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Jen Shroder has been wingnutting for quite awhile now, under a variety of names (although they all seem to be variations of “Shroeder”), but always with that same old headshot from her days with Humble Pie. Sheri wrote about her a number of times on the old site here and and here for instance, but she seems to have dropped off the WO’C radar after 2004. Which is kind of a shame, because even though nowadays you can get the same frothing dementia from the national brand of wingnut, you can still find some real bargains if you drive down to that Wonder Bread outlet where they sell the day old stuff. And this week she’s serving up a huge remaindered helping of “Obama is date raping America,” which — granted — was kind of stale when WorldNetDaily’s David Kupelian offered it two weeks ago; but still, Jen brings her own uniquely ergotismic fungus to the culture.

Obama like a bad date

So President Obama has extended the health bill deadline yet AGAIN. What part of “no” does he not understand? We keep rejecting him but he ignores our protests. His nudges have progressed into shoves as America is crowded like a cheap date into the backseat of his Pontiac.

So he puts America in the back seat, and then presumably chauffeurs it around for awhile before stopping in some secluded spot and getting all handsy? I guess, in Jen’s view, health care reform is basically the porn version of Driving Miss Daisy.

Like a cad who refuses to take “no” for an answer, Obama assures us over and over that he has the answer to all of our questions but doesn’t want to tell us what it is until after he’s had his way. Most men this persistent get their faces slapped, but I doubt the Secret Service would understand.

So it’s not a date, now it’s a Q&A? I guess that means we’re not in an interracial roughie anymore, but one of those Japanese schoolgirl porns, where some AV Idol in a sailor suit is using her digitally blurred vagina to wheedle the mid-term answers out of her teacher.

America has said NO and we mean it, we keep trying to walk away, but Obama is twisting the arms of his Congressional gang to help shove. How did America end up as a cheap date waking up prematurely from a roofie?

I apologize for my faulty memory, but…was George W. Bush routinely accused of rape? I mean Bush, personally, not his duly authorized representatives in the CIA who threatened to rape the children of Afghan and Iraqi detainees in front of them. Because that could have been just a lot of big talk, and anyway, it’s like blaming the Denny’s night manager when the bacon in your Grand Slamwich┬« isn’t crisp and the waitress only brings you one refill.

After all, Obama was recommended to us by…um, well, Bill Ayers? Reverend Wright? (wince)

Sadly, it would seem the American people considered those recommendations more reliable than the endorsements of Dick Cheney (sneer), Mike Huckabee (grimace), Fred Thompson (O-face), Mitt Romney (hand jive), or Joe Lieberman (Spock eyebrow).

But Obama has a great reputation of…uh oh, what has he EVER done before?

Well, he won a Presidential election. That usually spices up a resume.

We bounded down the stairs and out the door with this man because, well, he’s such a smooth talker…whoops.

What happened — did you slip? How many times have I told you not to bound down the stairs! And use the handrail!

And now he’s insisting on something we had no intention of participating in while whispering in our ear that his provisions “can never be amended.” (gasp) As in “forever” Barry? Do you mean to marry me?

Oh. So it’s not porn. Jen’s just been reading those slightly more explicit Harlequin “Blaze” books.

What’s that? You’d rather be a one term President that’s had his way with me than go the duration as long as you “fundamentally transform” me?

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Well now she’s just being a tease.

Somehow I have the feeling that my “fundamental transformation” has nothing to do with a ring and a future, instead I’ll be left with a socialist disease.

Well, if your religious scruples didn’t prevent you from using condoms, you might have got away with nothing worse than a mild pinko inflammation. But the point is, Obama is already married, so that’s bigamy! And it’s me, too. Yes, it’s big of all of us. Let’s be big for a change!

The answer is NO, Mr. President. NO! We do NOT want to get in this vehicle, get your hands off our credit card and get Harry Reid out of our way! We don’t care WHAT Nancy says, we don’t need to get in the backseat with you to see what you’re selling. So TAKE US HOME, Mr. President, TAKE US HOME.

It’s a car, honey, not a time machine.

We survived the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Desert Storm and when the smoke cleared our nation stood strong holding the banner, our American flag for freedom! We counted our losses, we mourned our sons and daughters, but our nation and our nation alone withstood all battles for FREEDOM. Only to be pushed into the back seat of Obama’s car through a maligned “reconciliation” with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid pushing right along with him.

It’s amazing that we survived all those wars, only to be undone by one dusky lothario in the back seat of a Pontiac. If only Tojo had thought to recruit an army of Negroes in zoot suits, we’d all be eating sushi now.

They are stopping at nothing, even using little boys with trumped up stories that make no sense.

“So let me get this straight, kid…Your mother died because she couldn’t afford medical care, and now you go to Washington to plead with Congress to pass health insurance reform? You don’t get it, kid! You’re a little boy. Your mother dies. That doesn’t make you a health care reform advocate, that makes you the lead character in a Disney animated feature!”

Would you like to hear my sob story of a chronically cheating husband that asked me not to divorce him because he was dying of liver damage (alcoholism) and was afraid to be cut off from my medical insurance?

Um, no offense, but I’m just an obscure blogger. You probably want to pitch that to the Lifetime Channel.

I waited for two years before he told me California would cover his medical expenses and has been ever since the divorce became final. How is it that a single unemployed mom can’t qualify but my ex-husband can?

I agree, that would seem to suggest a deeply flawed, uneven, and unfair system in desperate need of reform.

In fact, states close to the border are going broke but they manage to pay medical expenses for illegal aliens.

Admittedly, California is going broke, but it has less to do with illegal aliens (many of whom are abandoning the state) and more to do with recalcitrant Republicans and the suicidal fact that our constitution requires a supermajority in order to raise taxes. In fact, as Doghouse Riley mentioned over at his place yesterday, Indiana is also going broke, but that seems to be more a result of “Surly Megalomaniacs With Napoleonic Complexes,” than waves of Salvadorans pouring over the border from Michigan.

There is something seriously flawed with the sob stories claimed by progressives.

So Macelas Owens’ mother must be still alive! Q.E.D.

Our country has stood for so much, we are the most charitable nation on the planet, we have defended freedom, we have survived so much, I shudder to think we might not survive President Obama and his co-conspirators in Congress making up sob stories.

If there’s one thing low rent pundits can’t abide, it’s anecdotes.

We will remember who votes for this bill. We will remember who shoved this bill down our throats. If Obama succeeds, we will remember who helped push us into the backseat of his car, and those names will go down in history, way, way down.

I hate to blame the victim, but now it sounds like you’re just asking for it.