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Jen Shroder has been wingnutting for quite awhile now, under a variety of names (although they all seem to be variations of “Shroeder”), but always with that same old headshot from her days with Humble Pie. Sheri wrote about her a number of times on the old site here and and here for instance, but she seems to have dropped off the WO’C radar after 2004. Which is kind of a shame, because even though nowadays you can get the same frothing dementia from the national brand of wingnut, you can still find some real bargains if you drive down to that Wonder Bread outlet where they sell the day old stuff. And this week she’s serving up a huge remaindered helping of “Obama is date raping America,” which — granted — was kind of stale when WorldNetDaily’s David Kupelian offered it two weeks ago; but still, Jen brings her own uniquely ergotismic fungus to the culture.

Obama like a bad date

So President Obama has extended the health bill deadline yet AGAIN. What part of “no” does he not understand? We keep rejecting him but he ignores our protests. His nudges have progressed into shoves as America is crowded like a cheap date into the backseat of his Pontiac.

So he puts America in the back seat, and then presumably chauffeurs it around for awhile before stopping in some secluded spot and getting all handsy? I guess, in Jen’s view, health care reform is basically the porn version of Driving Miss Daisy.

Like a cad who refuses to take “no” for an answer, Obama assures us over and over that he has the answer to all of our questions but doesn’t want to tell us what it is until after he’s had his way. Most men this persistent get their faces slapped, but I doubt the Secret Service would understand.

So it’s not a date, now it’s a Q&A? I guess that means we’re not in an interracial roughie anymore, but one of those Japanese schoolgirl porns, where some AV Idol in a sailor suit is using her digitally blurred vagina to wheedle the mid-term answers out of her teacher.

America has said NO and we mean it, we keep trying to walk away, but Obama is twisting the arms of his Congressional gang to help shove. How did America end up as a cheap date waking up prematurely from a roofie?

I apologize for my faulty memory, but…was George W. Bush routinely accused of rape? I mean Bush, personally, not his duly authorized representatives in the CIA who threatened to rape the children of Afghan and Iraqi detainees in front of them. Because that could have been just a lot of big talk, and anyway, it’s like blaming the Denny’s night manager when the bacon in your Grand Slamwich® isn’t crisp and the waitress only brings you one refill.

After all, Obama was recommended to us by…um, well, Bill Ayers? Reverend Wright? (wince)

Sadly, it would seem the American people considered those recommendations more reliable than the endorsements of Dick Cheney (sneer), Mike Huckabee (grimace), Fred Thompson (O-face), Mitt Romney (hand jive), or Joe Lieberman (Spock eyebrow).

But Obama has a great reputation of…uh oh, what has he EVER done before?

Well, he won a Presidential election. That usually spices up a resume.

We bounded down the stairs and out the door with this man because, well, he’s such a smooth talker…whoops.

What happened — did you slip? How many times have I told you not to bound down the stairs! And use the handrail!

And now he’s insisting on something we had no intention of participating in while whispering in our ear that his provisions “can never be amended.” (gasp) As in “forever” Barry? Do you mean to marry me?

Oh. So it’s not porn. Jen’s just been reading those slightly more explicit Harlequin “Blaze” books.

What’s that? You’d rather be a one term President that’s had his way with me than go the duration as long as you “fundamentally transform” me?

JenShroder.jpg

Well now she’s just being a tease.

Somehow I have the feeling that my “fundamental transformation” has nothing to do with a ring and a future, instead I’ll be left with a socialist disease.

Well, if your religious scruples didn’t prevent you from using condoms, you might have got away with nothing worse than a mild pinko inflammation. But the point is, Obama is already married, so that’s bigamy! And it’s me, too. Yes, it’s big of all of us. Let’s be big for a change!

The answer is NO, Mr. President. NO! We do NOT want to get in this vehicle, get your hands off our credit card and get Harry Reid out of our way! We don’t care WHAT Nancy says, we don’t need to get in the backseat with you to see what you’re selling. So TAKE US HOME, Mr. President, TAKE US HOME.

It’s a car, honey, not a time machine.

We survived the War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Desert Storm and when the smoke cleared our nation stood strong holding the banner, our American flag for freedom! We counted our losses, we mourned our sons and daughters, but our nation and our nation alone withstood all battles for FREEDOM. Only to be pushed into the back seat of Obama’s car through a maligned “reconciliation” with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid pushing right along with him.

It’s amazing that we survived all those wars, only to be undone by one dusky lothario in the back seat of a Pontiac. If only Tojo had thought to recruit an army of Negroes in zoot suits, we’d all be eating sushi now.

They are stopping at nothing, even using little boys with trumped up stories that make no sense.

“So let me get this straight, kid…Your mother died because she couldn’t afford medical care, and now you go to Washington to plead with Congress to pass health insurance reform? You don’t get it, kid! You’re a little boy. Your mother dies. That doesn’t make you a health care reform advocate, that makes you the lead character in a Disney animated feature!”

Would you like to hear my sob story of a chronically cheating husband that asked me not to divorce him because he was dying of liver damage (alcoholism) and was afraid to be cut off from my medical insurance?

Um, no offense, but I’m just an obscure blogger. You probably want to pitch that to the Lifetime Channel.

I waited for two years before he told me California would cover his medical expenses and has been ever since the divorce became final. How is it that a single unemployed mom can’t qualify but my ex-husband can?

I agree, that would seem to suggest a deeply flawed, uneven, and unfair system in desperate need of reform.

In fact, states close to the border are going broke but they manage to pay medical expenses for illegal aliens.

Admittedly, California is going broke, but it has less to do with illegal aliens (many of whom are abandoning the state) and more to do with recalcitrant Republicans and the suicidal fact that our constitution requires a supermajority in order to raise taxes. In fact, as Doghouse Riley mentioned over at his place yesterday, Indiana is also going broke, but that seems to be more a result of “Surly Megalomaniacs With Napoleonic Complexes,” than waves of Salvadorans pouring over the border from Michigan.

There is something seriously flawed with the sob stories claimed by progressives.

So Macelas Owens’ mother must be still alive! Q.E.D.

Our country has stood for so much, we are the most charitable nation on the planet, we have defended freedom, we have survived so much, I shudder to think we might not survive President Obama and his co-conspirators in Congress making up sob stories.

If there’s one thing low rent pundits can’t abide, it’s anecdotes.

We will remember who votes for this bill. We will remember who shoved this bill down our throats. If Obama succeeds, we will remember who helped push us into the backseat of his car, and those names will go down in history, way, way down.

I hate to blame the victim, but now it sounds like you’re just asking for it.

26 Responses to “Peter Frampton is Pissed”

“shoved down our throats”"push us in the backseat”go down…way way down”

Nothing suggestive there, nosiree.

You beat me to it. I was just going to remark that those repetitive “going down”> comments caused me to pause and raise an eyebrow.

Indeed. Do you feel like we do, Jen?

Obama like a bad date

*YAWN*

We get it, already! he’s pulled the car over, claimed to be out of gas, has surreptitiously sprayed Binaca in his mouth and is about to ram his giant healthcare package down your throat.

His nudges have progressed into shoves as America is crowded like a cheap date into the backseat of his Pontiac.

What a sad teenager she must have been, forced to put out in the backseat. Of a Pontiac, no less.

Think she learned astronomy on her back?

I can practically hear, like, you know, OMG! the valley girl in her voice, Scott.

How is Sheri? And her critters?

I hate to break it to her, but several of those wars that she mentions we survived in the name of freedom, we started in the name of land grabbing. The War of 1812, the Mexican-American War, and the Spanish-American War, to be precise. But I guess when Canada, Mexico, and the Philippines are the cheap dates that we’re roughing up in the back seat, it’s ok. Or something.

I only have one question; why a Pontiac? I would have thought she’d pick a Caddy. Little off-meme errors like this are what separate the bigga-time wingnuts from the obscure. Sorry, Sheri, you’re clearly a second-rater.

Do not begrudge the mighty Pontiac. Though never granted the opportunity by an unkind and capricious universe, I would have been proud to do the dirty in the back of a sweet ’66 GTO. I’m sure Obama would agree.

I’m sure Candy meant to direct her comment to Jen (for whom second-rate status would represent a promotion) and not Sheri, our beloved founder.

Do not begrudge the mighty Pontiac.

Oh, I’m not! But Peter Frampton is, and that’s what I was mocking. She couldn’t get laid in her dream date’s Caddy.

I hate to be the one here who’s always harping on photos, but that second shot of Jen….! Please tell me that’s photoshopped.

These persons’ writings sound like a particularly noxious country-western song. All those mixed metaphors.. “I may get a Socialist disease!” Oh nos!

You’d be pissed too if you couldn’t find parts for your Trans Am or your hairstyle. Stupid Obama with his smooth look and electronical cars.

Easy to understand why her ex became an alcoholic.

Would you like to hear my sob story of a chronically cheating husband that asked me not to divorce him because he was dying of liver damage (alcoholism) and was afraid to be cut off from my medical insurance?

What kind of person synthesizes this kind of sad/sick trauma into a pro-insurance industry experience? I’m serious. How can you avoid the obvious solution universal health care would have afforded her and her cheating husband and instead think that increased access would have made things worse?

Easy to understand why her ex became an alcoholic.

Even easier to understand his “chronic” infidelity. What’s hardest to understand is why anyone would marry her in the first place.

What’s hardest to understand is why anyone would marry her in the first place.

I’ve woken up next to worse. I can understand why someone might feel they had to tie her down.

Who better to critique our healthcare system than someone who recently learned about Medicaid, second-hand and forty years after its inception, and confuses* it with a state system?

_____
*confuses it, I think; I don’t really read Gibberish as well as I used to. At any rate, best of luck to her deadbeat hubby and his twenty-year battle with terminal cirrhosis.

Her choice of “Pontiac” was no accident. I won’t repeat how the brand is turned into an acronym in wingnut circles, but it’s racist. Of course.

“Socialist disease” = Her vagina is overtaxed.

I won’t repeat how the brand is turned into an acronym in wingnut circles, but it’s racist.

The last four letters stand for “thinks it’s a Cadillac”. That’s an oldie.

In addition to apsalar’s on-the-money description of some of the so-called “wars of freedom”, there’s this:

We counted our losses, we mourned our sons and daughters, but our nation and our nation alone withstood all battles for FREEDOM.

Really? Our nation ALONE? This will come as a great surprise to nations such as Great Britain, Russia, Canada, and who knows how many other allies we had in WWII (to pick just one of those wars).

…a chronically cheating husband that asked me…

Well, if you refer to your husband as “that” instead of “who” (thing instead of person), I think that may explain some of your marital issues.

“…we will remember who votes for this bill. We will remember who shoved this bill down our throats…

I doubt that very much. VERY MUCH. Soon, conservatives will be claiming THEY created and voted for the HCR bill, against all the violent and cruel efforts of dirtyhippylibs.

Wait and see.

I’ll say this for Ms. Shroder (whom I’ve not encountered before – O, World O’Crap, you’re always good for new EXPERIENCES): when she decides on a metaphor, she keeps at it ’til she’s pounded it to a jelly.

Pontiac, maybe. What I remember is my boyfriend’s dad’s big Olds sedan on hot nights. Now that was a back seat. None of your stupid bucket conformations and arm rests to get in the way of young love. Sigh! (Hey it’s Spring again…)

i wonder if she listened to too much frampton comes alive

Really? Our nation ALONE? This will come as a great surprise to nations such as Great Britain, Russia, Canada, and who knows how many other allies we had in WWII (to pick just one of those wars).

Nevermind that we practically had been begged to get involved and only bothered to once it became clear that we, too, were at risk.

Freedom? Sure, just not yours.

Peter Frampton voted for Kerry in 2004. C’mon, dude, leave him out of this.

Something to say?