Yes, they are the winners in our Your Crappy Choices of the Townhall Columnists thingee. And I may read and comment on Matt “I’ve Dedicated My Life to Homosexuality But I”M NOT GAY!” Barber and one of the Concerned Women, just because this might be the week that they snap. Sorry I didn’t get back here sooner, but Friday a cat attacked me. (I swear, all I was doing was petting it — and it didn’t give any warning signs before it grabbed my hand and bit me twice really hard, so I think it had received Navy SEAL training.) And by the time I finished up with the Petsmart Adoption event on Saturday, my hand was all red and swollen. And after I waited the three hours at Insta-Care (they named it that ironically, I’m sure) and the doctor could see me, I had infection going up my arm almost to my elbow, and my hand really hurt and stuff. So, I had to have shots and take pills that reduced my bowels to liquid, and even so, the infection made it almost to my shoulder Saturday night. And so I had to go back to Insta-Care yesterday to see if I had to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics — but by then, the oral antibiotics had driven the infection back down to mid-forearm level, so I didn’t.
And the bottom line is: I did all this, just to avoid having to read the Townhall columnists. But it didn’t work, I guess, because they’re still there. And my hand is just kinda swollen and tender now, and the infection has receded, so I’m off to read me some Dr. Mike and some Brent the Wonder Bozell. See you later. Unless I can get the dogs to rip out my throat or something.
P. S. My feline attacker, an angelic-looking longhaired orange-and-white tom named George, just left for his new life on a farm where nobody will ever pet him, if they know what’s good for them. That means my animal fosters are now limited to: the four feline residents of the Island of Misfit Kittens (but Tribble finally got his cast off, so he may be freed soon); the feral kitten that the bio-tech company trapped on their premises (he is actually rather sweet, but probably bioengineered to turn into a truck or something); Mean Mother and her 7 adorable kittens (you can help me think of names for them all — right now I’m leaning towards “Maggie Gallagher” for the mom); and Angelo, the neurotic Chihuahua. They all say hi.