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Archive for January 7th, 2008

There’s Something About Swank

Posted by s.z. on January 7th, 2008

I want to thank Scott for alerting me to the LA Times story about the increasing number of men who are obtaining abortions — I can hardly wait for Doug Giles to do a story on this, because I know he’ll use the term “metrosexual” about five times in his column, and I love these retro pejoratives (without people like Dr. Mike, the great American hippie and the noble Feminazi would be extinct by now).

But I have to say that the LAT missed the boat by not interviewing the #1 expert on male abortions, our old friend Pastor Swank.  I mean, geez, how can you write a piece about male abortions and not talk to the guy who INVENTED the term “womb babies”?  (The LAT could have also asked him about homo nups, and probably got themselves nominated for a Pulitzer, but they blew it.)

And speaking of Pulitzers, I was kind of surprised that the noted journalist Fee Benamon failed to mention that since Jesus isn’t actually running for anything right now, and apparently her boss Alan Keyes isn’t being picked up by a party (not even Ralph Wiggums’ Nose Pickers of America), the guy you should vote for is obviously “Huck” Huckabee, the candidate who is so focused on righteousness and stuff that he doesn’t have time to worry about petty stuff like the Iraq War.  So, here’s Pastor Swank, shedding a little light on both abortions AND who to vote for this fall: ”Moralists take to Huckabee.”First, he will explain why voting for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton would be worse than voting for Hitler.

Democrats tend to hold to situation ethics, that is, the situation dictates the morality. Therefore, many of their positions do not depend on biblical data. Instead, they depend on political opportunism.That is why Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama enthusiastically can hold to post-birth abortion for they don’t care that the Bible defends the unborn child.

Hillary and Barack both enthusiastically hold to “post-birth abortions” (which I believe the law defines as “murder”)???  The bastards!  Well, even if they are Democrats, I think that’s beyond the pale!

Democrats by and large don’t care what the Bible says; they carve out their own immoral positions, mainly defending homosexual activity. Of course, that kind of defense only furthers AIDS/HIV; consequently, such political defense of sodomy is not only illogical but spreading a dreaded disease.

Yes, the only Biblically-endorsed solution to AIDS/HIV is to stone all gay men.  Any candidate that doesn’t hold to this policy just doesn’t care what the Bible says.  Oh, and a REAL Biblically-based candidate would also endorse stoning adulterers, to solve the syphilis problem; and advocate stoning disobedient children, to end the scourge of juvenile delinquency.  And anyone who doesn’t support stoning witches is only furthering the spread of Harry Potter merchandise!

But on to a guy who DOES care what the Bible says: “Huck” Huckabee, a guy who has kept his priorities straight (and his sexual orientation likewise).

What Huckabee believes about the Pakistani situation does not influence Republicans as much as his ethical base. He may make a few errors in public statements regarding some foreign issues; but that is understandable, Republicans say, for many of the reporters’ questions were flung at Huckabee before Huckabee had a chance to inform himself on the latest issues.

Huckabee himself informed media that he works through the day and night, many times not getting the latest data on news events for he is consumed with the campaign. Republicans by and large don’t blame him for an error or two in that regard. Their main interest is his moral convictions. And those remain steady for most Republican moralists.

Huckabee has been a solid biblical enthusiast for years. Those who consider that commendable will not be swayed by a misstatement he may make to the press regarding world events and so forth.

Yes!  Huckabee was so busy working day and night on his campaign that he didn’t have time to keep up with world events (abd so forth), so it’s the media’s fault that he sounds like an ignoramus, because they should know better than to ask him questions when he’s so busy.  Besides, he is a big fan of the Bible, and there is no mention of the Pakistani situation in either of the Testaments, so how is Huck to know anything about it? 

So, he’s a busy guy who doesn’t have time to read the paper, but who does know that giving civil rights to gays causes AIDS.  Now isn’t that the kind of guy you want as your President, rather than some immoral Democrat who will waste his time dealing with silly stuff like other countries and wars and such?  So, vote for Huckabee — he’s the candidate of ignorance!

P.S.  If you don’t want to vote for Huck, I think you should vote for Suri Cruise, because she’s either the Messiah or the antichrist.

 Explosive claims on Cruise baby | Herald Sun

TOM Cruise is the second-in-command of the Church of Scientology and his daughter, Suri, was conceived using sperm from the dead scientology founder, a new book says.


Andrew Morton’s wild claims include that Cruise’s 20-month-old daughter, Suri, was conceived “like Rosemary’s Baby” – with wife Katie Holmes impregnated with the sperm of dead Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Well, as I recall, Rosemary’s baby was conceived by natural means, the devil stopping by to do the deed in person, and having plenty of fresh sperm handy for just such an occasion.  But that does make me wonder if this might be a good time to do another movie for the book.  Scott already tackled “Days of Thunder,” the movie that led to Tom’s marriage to Nicole Kidman (and to low-level Scientologists reportedly being ordering to plant a whole field of wildflowers for Tom and Nicole to frolic through).  So, do you have any ideas for films that are somehow applicable to the current Cruise situation, so that we might exploit it for our personal gain?  (We could also exploit the Brittany debacle, but that’s kind of croweded right now).  Any suggestions are welcome, as long as they don’t involve me having to watch movies that will make my head explode.

My Abortion Made Me Impotent

Posted by scott on January 7th, 2008

In story on the front page of today’s LA Times, “Changing abortion’s pronoun,” we find that men are having abortions in increasing numbers. And feeling just awful about it, according to the subhead:

‘We had abortions,’ say men whose lovers ended pregnancies. It isn’t just a women’s trauma, they insist. But critics see a political calculation.
Oh those critics. They’re always so cynical whenever the Ministry of Truth introduces a fresh and innocent new trope into Newspeak.
SAN FRANCISCO — Jason Baier talks often to the little boy he calls Jamie. He imagines this boy — his son — with blond hair and green eyes, chubby cheeks, a sweet smile.But he’ll never know for sure.His fiancee’s sister told him about the abortion after it was over. Baier remembers that he cried. The next weeks and months go black. He knows he drank far too much. He and his fiancee fought until they broke up. “I hated the world,” he said.
Really? Good thing you didn’t bring a child into it.
These days, he channels the grief into activism in a burgeoning movement of “post-abortive men.”
Yeah, that’s a name that’s sure to catch on quick. I can see the merchandising opportunities now — Playgirl spreads, Men of the Post-Abortion, a cartoon spinoff, Post-Abortive Man, Master of the Universe, maybe a romantic comedy featuring this new breed of sensitive man, Four Weddings and an Abortion.
Abortion is usually portrayed as a woman’s issue: her body, her choice, her relief or her regret. This new movement — both political and deeply personal in nature — contends that the pronoun is all wrong.”We had abortions,” said Mark B. Morrow, a Christian counselor. “I’ve had abortions.”
And, I have it on good authority, we all scream for ice cream. But I suppose you know what this means, Mr. Morrow? Justice Kennedy feels that you’re a bit too hormonal to make rational decisions about your civil rights, so why don’t you just toddle on off to the kitchen and let the pre-abortive men talk…?
Morrow spoke to more than 150 antiabortion activists gathered recently in San Francisco for what was billed as the first national conference on men and abortion.
And how nice of the LA Times to give Page One exposure to this hotel conference room full of angry, self-pitying gynophobes and their ghost zygotes.
Participants — mostly counselors and clergy — heard two days of lectures on topics such as “Medicating the Pain of Lost Fatherhood” and “Forgiveness Therapy With Post-Abortion Men.”
Followed by symposiums on “Investment Planning for Post-Abortive Men: The Best Ways to Save for Your Imaginary Child’s College Education,” and “Take Your Flushed Fetus to Work Day.”
The most striking session featured the halting testimony of men whose partners aborted. Baier, who now lives in Phoenix, told the crowd he suffered years of depression and addiction. “I couldn’t get the thought out of my head about what I had lost.”Since the concept of post-abortion syndrome first emerged in the early 1980s, some women have recounted similar stories — and learned to leverage them into political power. They speak at legislative hearings and rallies organized by the Silent No More Awareness Campaign. They write affidavits detailing their years of emotional turmoil, which the Justice Foundation, a conservative advocacy group, submits to lawmakers and courts nationwide.Last spring, the Supreme Court cited these accounts as one reason to ban the late-term procedure that opponents call “partial-birth” abortion. The majority opinion suggested that the ban would protect women from a decision they might later regret.
And while this reasoning might seem a bit sexist and otherwise suspect, it’s important to remember that intact dilation and extraction is an extremely rare procedure, and most women forced to undergo it had been trying to bring their pregnancy to term. So all you’re really doing by outlawing it is forcing a few women to have unnecessary abdominal surgery, and a few others to hemorrhage to death. And since Justice Kennedy had just finished reading The Lovely Bones, he knows the dead, unlike the living, have no regrets, and don’t need to be protected from the consequences of their crappy decision-making.
“It’s a rule of thumb that if you want to get a law passed, you have to tell anecdotes that grab people,” said Dr. Nada Stotland, president-elect of the American Psychiatric Assn. Antiabortion activists have done that well, she said. “They’ve succeeded in convincing a lot of the American public” that abortion leaves women wounded.Now, those activists see an opportunity to dramatically expand the message.The Justice Foundation recently began soliciting affidavits from men; one online link promises, “Your story will help legal efforts to end abortion.” Silent No More encourages men to testify at rallies.
But I’m sure these testimonials aren’t just cynical histrionics designed to restore mens’ traditional property rights over the uterus and its contents. And to prove it, I’m willing to make this offer: I will happily accept that we have abortions if, whenever a woman dies in childbirth, the father is immediately executed. It’d be easy. Just make sure that, along with the epidural, you have a lethal injection on hand, and you could do it right there in the delivery room.

Therapist Vincent M. Rue, who helped develop the concept of post-abortion trauma, runs an online study that asks men to check off symptoms (such as irritability, insomnia and impotence) that they feel they have suffered as a result of an abortion. When men are widely recognized as victims, Rue said, “that will change society.”

That’s what usually does it.

But the activists leading the men’s movement make clear they’re not relying on statistics to make their case. They’re counting on the power of men’s tears.

That’s what I hate about men. When they can’t win an argument with logic or facts, they always stamp their little feet and turn on the waterworks.

Meanwhile, in other news, Kim du Toit’s testicles just exploded.