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Archive for February 12th, 2007

Ohhhhhh, Archie…!

Posted by scott on February 12th, 2007

Via Elayne (again!), it seems that Amanda has quit the Edwards campaign.  I have no doubt that this is a mature, politically astute decision on her part, but the thought of that Archie Bunker-sounding bigot Bill Donohue crowing about his “victory” fills me with equal measures of disgust and despair, like a Perfect Martini of bile.

Good luck in the future, Amanda, and may the next Democratic candidate who hires a blogger have the stones to face down the more obvious misogynistic anti-Semites clogging Fox News’ Rolodex.

Meanwhile…I need a drink.

Image courtesy of Superdickery.com.

My days of comic literacy are long gone, but for those who are more conversant with the four color world (and other pop cultural niches), you will likely enjoy ComicMix.  And if you’re one of those hardasses who demands street cred from their comic blogs, look no further, since one of the contributors is the savvy and well-connected Elayne Riggs.

Go Forth and Geek.

Take A Peek, You Perves

Posted by scott on February 12th, 2007

Amazon has finally (some 7 or 8 months after publication) implemented the Search Inside feature for .  If you’ve thought about buying it, but haven’t yet taken the plunge, feel free to follow the link and root around in the books unmentionables.

And if you have read it, please consider dropping by Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com and leaving a review.  Even if you’re .


Two Wingnuts To Watch

Posted by s.z. on February 12th, 2007

I like to think that this blog is kind of an “American Idol” for wingnut columnists, in that we give these eager unknowns a chance to strut their stuff for you, the Paula Abduls, Simon Cowells, and generic other guys of the Internets. So, judges, allow me to present two new wingnuts for your consideration.

First up is Marsha West, ”a freelance writer specializing in Christian worldview” who is ”currently writing a series of children’s books for homeschoolers” when not penning columns for Renew America.  I believe that with a lot of work (and a lot … of ellipses), Marsha could be the Kaye Grogan of her generation (whatever one that may be). Today she will be singing an a cappella version of “Radical feminism: The kiss of death.”  Take it away, Marsha!

As a result of the feminist movement there are no gender-based role differences in many marriages. Wives wear the pants in the family, husbands show little or no leadership and are often wimps, and children are unmanageable. Is this what God intended for the family?

NO!  God is strongly anti-pants for women!


See, I told you! I can read God like a book.

The Bible teaches that the husband is to lead, provide for, and protect his family. The wife is to help her husband by managing the household and taking care of the children. Children are to be raised with discipline and love. That’s God’s way. Today’s children are train wreck.

Plus, they don’t write very well.

They’re undisciplined, disrespectful and, frankly, as lazy as a Sunday morning. Sadly, this is the rule not the exception.

We should just reinstate the draft, lower the age of military service to 12, and ship all the lazy, sassy, little bastards to Iraq.  That would fix their wagons!

Obviously something has gone terribly awry. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles, ordained by God as part of the created order, have been blurred.

And this causes kids to be as rude and gumptionless as a mess of chittlins.

Men have become un-masculine, thus unattractive to women; women have become un-feminine, thus unattractive to men.

And now nobody wants to have (heterosexual) sex anymore — which is actually a good thing, since all the kids resulting from it have turned out to be such disappointments.  But still, there are those Victoria’s Secret models — they are reportedly attractive to men, n’est-ce pas?

Granted, some women have a feminine appearance. But don’t let that fool you. In the blink of an eye, females spew obscenities that would make a bull rider blush.

And a potty mouth on a woman ends sexual attraction faster than a June bug mating with a centipede in a crocodile patch.

Which brings me to the latest trend among teenage girls. I’m not talking about body piercing, tattoos or electric pink and green hair fashions. I’m talkin’ street fights. I’m talkin’ knock down drag out hair pulling fisticuffs caught on cell phones and distributed on the Internet. (Watching girls’ exchange body blows is not recommended for the feint of heart.)

Recently, an older gentleman with a feinting heart was rushed to the hospital with chest pains after watching a video of Lulu Robinson smacking Rita Sanchez.  However, it turned out that his heart was just faking it, which really annoyed his doctor.

Standers by, both male and female, fervently root for their favorite girl to win. Most self-respecting females would find it humiliating to have their bruised and battered faces plastered all over the Internet. Oh contraire! Today’s girls think it’s cool to kick butt.

I think you can now see why I believe that Marsha could be the new Kaye — but there can be only one, so I think the two women should duke it out to decide which one gets to wear the crown.  The loser gets to take on radical feminism for the world championship. 

Now we will hear from James Lewis, a columnist for “The American Thinker.”  His piece is entitled “The Left’s identification with murderous aggressors,” and it’s every bit as nutty as it sounds.

Psychiatry is familiar with an odd syndrome called “identification with the aggressor.”  It’s sometimes called the Stockholm Syndrome, after the behavior of air passengers taken hostage by PLO terrorists at the Stockholm Airport in 1973, who, when they were rescued,  came out singing the praises of their murderous captors.

And speaking of oddness, when you click James’s link, it says that, “The syndrome is named after the Normalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Normalmstorg, Stockholm, Sweden, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage.”  But I guess that’s just another lie told by the liberal Internets –it seems that only James dares to reveal the robbers’ covert PLO affiliation, and to tell the world about the secret airport hidden under the bank.  Either that, or James is doing some Instapunditing and linking to stuff he hasn’t read.

Recently we saw the same human oddity when two Fox News reporters were kidnapped in Gaza, and forced to convert to Islam at the point of a gun. After his freedom was bought (at a reported cost of millions of dollars), reporter Steve Centanni told the world that:

“I hope that this never scares a single journalist away from coming to Gaza to cover the story because the Palestinian people are very beautiful and kind hearted. The world needs to know more about them. Don’t be discouraged.”

“Kind-hearted” and “beautiful” are not the first words that come to mind to describe kidnappers who were quite ready to murder Steve Centanni only a day before. 

So obvious Centanni was suffering from some kind of Leftist syndrome, for any sane person (or conservative) would have denounced all Palestinians (and probably all Arabs) as murderous savages after such an experience.  That Steve Centanni didn’t only proves that liberals hate America, or something.

Anyway, let’s skip James’s attempt to diagnose the Left with battered wife syndrome, and go to his central thesis: that liberals are terrorists themselves.  

To make things worse, the Left itself is ruthlessly aggressive against conservatives, democratic individuals who happen to disagree with them. There is a true persecutorial viciousness in the Left’s attacks on Republican presidents, from Herbert Hoover to Dwight D. Eisenhower and George W. Bush. Emotionally, these people want to destroy those who defy their demands. Almost all the assassins and would-be assassins of American Presidents since JFK have been Leftists, starting with Lee Harvey Oswald. So their rage is not exactly harmless.

We could discuss such Leftist would-be assassins as “Squeaky” Fromme and John Hinckley, but I think it’s more important to identify all those successful Leftist assassins of American Presidents since JFK.  You start.

Most of the time the Left just aims at destroying conservatives’ careers and public reputations - as they have tried to do with ferocious fury in the cases of Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Ann Coulter, Tom Delay, Rush Limbaugh, and numerous others.

So, it’s OUR fault that Ann Coulter has a bad reputation?  (And why did we kill all those Presidents since JFK, but gave her a pass?)

They are driven by paranoid rage: They are in fact the aggressors. But when it comes to assaults on their country, the Left blames the victims. The most militant Leftists seem severely damaged psychologically. The recent suicide by the militant lesbian President of UC Santa Cruz may be only the tip of the pathological iceberg.  

Yes, militant lesbians may soon be jumping out of building by the thousands, once the the Left’s Titanic of mental health hits the pathological iceberg of, um, clinical depression.

Many radical Leftists seem to suffer from a basic twist in character. They constantly confuse aggressive and defensive actions by their own country, on whose freedom and protection they depend every hour of the day. They constantly indulge sworn enemies of our freedom and well-being. They constantly push for government actions that seem plausible on the surface, but which inevitably hurt the very people they are supposed to help. It happens over and over again.

When I was young I thought the Left was just confused, but now I’m increasingly drawn to the idea that there is a deep, if unconscious, malevolence at the bottom of the history of disasters inflicted by those people. They are dangerous.  

After all, American Leftists are the ones who kidnapped Patty Hearst and made her shoot Israeli athletes in Munich. (If you don’t believe it, look it up yourself.)  So beware, BEWARE!

Law & Order Report

Posted by s.z. on February 12th, 2007

Our friend Anntichrist Coulter chastised us (and rightfully so) for not mentioning that the case that Law & Order ripped from the headlines last Friday was Ted Haggard’s.  Only this time, the male prostitute was murdered.  

While ripped-from-the headlines Ted comes in for lots of scorn (and an arrest for murder), the main target of derision is his megachurch empire (which Jack McCoy says is so much of a business that it will probably be going public soon).  Even D.A. Cornpone can’t think of anything nice to say about it.  Interestingly enough, I just did a Google search and can’t see where James Dobson or Don Wildmon has denounced NBC yet.  But maybe they still are trying to avoid any association with Pastor Ted, even though he’s now 100% heterosexual, and only uses meth for sex with the wife.

Looking Ahead: But you know the story that the L&O franchise is already working on is the “Astronaut love triangle, with adult diapers” one.  In fact, it’s so big, I’m predicting it will appear on both the original AND on “Special Victims Unit.”  However, only one of them will have Anna Nicole Smith be the victim of the love-crazed astronaut.

Anyway, from what I could tell from the previews, Bill O’Reilly does not murder Keith Olbermann this week for continually calling him “The World’s Worst Person.”  However, Detective Stabler apparently finally snaps and kills somebody.  If only the victim was D.A. Cornpone, I’d be tempted to go for jury nullification …