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Archive for February 9th, 2007

A Story of Even More Import than Dead Anna Nicole

Posted by s.z. on February 9th, 2007

If you want more proof that the Right just doesn’t have a sense of humor, read some of the shrill pronouncements on Amanda&MelissaGate.  Happily (for us anyway, because we’re too tired to do much research), the shrill and humorless Michelle Malkin has rounded up some choice reactions over at her blog.

For instance, she points us to this response from Dawn Eden to Amanda’s apology (in which Amanda said that, “My writings on my personal blog Pandagon on the issue of religion are generally satirical in nature and always intended strictly as a criticism of public policies and politics”).

I guess it’s nice to know that all those times her blog referred to Our Lord and Saviour as “Jeebus” — in 114 blog entries to date (the most recent last Sunday) — she was only kidding.

A search of Pandagon archives shows that Amanda has yet to devise a similarly ha-ha name for Mohammed.

Dawn, honey, she didn’t come up with that moniker for our Lord and Savior, the writers for “The Simpsons” did.  So, I’d take that as a pretty good sign that she was indeed just joking — sorry it went over your head.  So, instead of finding and counting all the “Jeebuses” on Pandagon, perhaps you could make better use of your time by exploring this concept we humans call “humor.”  I have it on good authority (well, Doug Giles) that Jesus was a heck of a standup comedian, so it’s pretty much your religious duty to take a break from frothing and go watch MST3000 or something.

Next, Michelle presents some words from everyone’s favorite hissyfitter, Jeff Goldstein:

Lots of gloating already in the comments by the flying monkeys the left typically dispatches to sprinkle schadenfreude over the poppies. But that’s to be expected, I guess. That their commentary is rife with further attacks on the faithful and suggestions that those who find Marcotte reprehensible have been saddled with tiny penises—well, this, too, is about as surprising as a Marcotte post that doesn’t somehow wend its way back to the institutionalized torturing of her pudendum by misanthropic godbags. But lost on these Marcotte supporters—who are cheering on the power of the “netroots” to cow a politician into keeping on an ugly and hateful liability—is that Edwards just showed up Marcotte and McEwan as frauds and posturing blowhards, writers who have been pulling the wool over their audiences’ eyes by posting vicious “arguments” they never truly believed.

(Apparently, Jeff’s comments are in reference to Edwards’ statement that ”intolerant language will not be permitted from anyone on my campaign, whether it’s intended as satire, humor, or anything else,” but that Amanda and Melissa had assured him that “it was never their intention to malign anyone’s faith.”)

Jeff, old chap, humor and satire aren’t meant to be taken literally, but they aren’t also “lies.”  For example, when the Sadly, No! guys say that you eat paste, they aren’t (necessarily) claiming that you really consume Elmers Washable School Paste on a regular basis.  However, they aren’t attempting to pull the wool over their readers’ eyes by implying that you’re kinda dim, when they actually believe that you’re the smartest man who ever lived.  (Sorry, I asked them, and they really don’t think that about you.)  They are using humor to make the point that you’re kinda stupid, which is something they truly believe.  (And by so doing having forfeited any chance for a job on a political campaign once the League of Paste Eaters demand their heads.)

And speaking of funny, the Corner’s K.Lo, who is closely following PottyMouthGate, brings us this announcement from the Catholic’s League’s William ”Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Catholicism but like anal sex” Donohue:

Edwards said today that ‘We’re beginning a great debate about the future of our country, and we can’t let it be hijacked.’ I have news for him—the Catholic League—not Edwards—will decide what the debate will be about, and it won’t be about the nation.  It will be about the glaring double standard that colors the entire conversation about bigotry.  

We will launch a nationwide public relations blitz that will be conducted on the pages of the New York Times, as well as in Catholic newspapers and periodicals. It will be on-going, breaking like a wave, starting next week and continuing through 2007.

And then Mr. Donohue took off his shoe, pounding it on his desk, and screamed “WE WILL CRUSH YOU! For WE in the Catholic League control the debate!  And WE control the vertical!  If you think this is over, you’re wrong — dead wrong! You’ll pay for tampering in God’s domain!  They said we were mad, but who’s mad now!?!?!? Muah ha ha”

(Note to Jeff Goldstein: Bill Donohue didn’t really do this.  However, I am not trying to pull the wool over my readers’ eyes, as I truly do believe that Donohue is a wingnut, and a … what was that phrase … oh yes, a “posturing blowhard.” Also please note that none of the above signals any intent to disparage Catholicism or Catholics in general — however, my respect for other faiths this is not in conflict with my belief that of all the Leagues of my acquaintance, to include bowling leagues, the Red-Headed League, the Leagues of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, I find the Catholic League under it’s current leadership to be the least admirable.)

But hey, on a completely different topic, here’s the Corner’s (and Canada’s) Mark Steyn :

Thought for the day 

“There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious.”

- Ayatollah Khomeini

Anyway, you can now go about your business — but try to keep it clean, because I’m still attempting to get picked up as a consultant on wingnuts by one of the candidates, and I don’t want to blow my chances.