I have nothing to say, really, about John Stossel working for FoxNews, except, perhaps, what I said when Mary informed me that Army Archerd was dead: “You mean he wasn’t already?”
Still, it’s an auspicious event, which ought to be marked in some manner, but I’m getting ready for my first appointment with the physical therapist, so I thought I’d just repost this wedding announcement from July, 2006, which was inspired by this bit o’ libertarian wisdom:
Half the states in America have banned cousin marriage, but there’s no good reason for it. You can marry your cousin and have perfectly intelligent kids.
Hear, hear! Anyway, gotta go. I want to get to the reception before all the corn liquor’s gone.
Meredith Lisa Stossel, the daughter of Bridget and Harold Stossel of Dogpatch, New Jersey was married Saturday, July 15, 2006 to John Bubba Stossel, the son of Sharon and Phillip Stossel of West Dogpatch, New Jersey. Pastor A. Rand officiated at Our Lady of Perpetual Chromosonal Damage in East Dogpatch, New Jersey.
The hillbilly-themed wedding and reception took place at the Hoot-n-Holler Garden of Love in South Dogpatch. The Best Man was the groom’s brother and son, the Maid of Honor was the bride’s mother, aunt, and second cousin twice removed. The flower girls and ringbearer were human-animal hybrids.
The Stossel/Stossel Wedding Party. From L to R on groom’s side: Groom John Stossel. Cousin Clem Stossel. Cousin Lum Stossel. Brother/Father Cletus Stossel. Second cousin Abner Stossel. Third Cousin Jebediah Stossel and his conjoined twin, Chang Stossel. Brother and possible uncle Rip Stossel. From L to R on Bride’s side: Second Cousin Rose of Sharon Stossel, first Cousin and probable half-sister Rebecca Stossel, some transvestite from a local barber shop quartet, aunt Jane Darwell Stossel-McCoy, sister/sister-in-law Cissy Stossel-Stossel, Lorna Hayduke, who isn’t related to the rest of the family, but she’s her own mother, and the Bride.