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Archive for December 11th, 2010

Top Ten Google Searches: The Hunks With Junk Edition

Posted by scott on December 11th, 2010

It’s Saturday, and time for another attempt at a Q&A with our readers who arrive here via Google.  What’s the Internet a’buzz about this week?  Well, according to our search engine logs, it’s junk, junk, Christmas songs with impaired liver function, and more junk.  Class is now in session.  Please try to keep your mind off the babes…

1.  9 foot blue rusty gun: According to the bonus materials on the Avatar Blu-ray, this is a common euphemism for erectile dysfunction on Pandora.

2.  Which president said I cannot tell a lie in regards to cutting downa cherry tree: Apparently we’re hosting a field trip for students from Beck University today.  Where’s my spanking paddle and tricorner hat…?

3.  300 “porn version”: (WHISPERING)  The Password is… “redundant.”

4.  Robinhood is a douche: This is an updated 15th Century ballad which is frequently and lustily sung at Tea Party rallies.

5.  do men’s scrotum sag: If depends if it’s just received a telegram with bad news.

6.  on the christmas shoes heart with hepatitis b: I just don’t understand Country music.

7.  Man with a bag sagged scrotum: The last, cryptic words, etched in blood by Dr. Seuss.

8.  can a histrionic mother make her son impotent?: Apparently Governor Palin has been getting some bitter emails from Track.

9.  lady pee on the highest roller coaster in the world: While I can’t prove it, I suspect this is the same lady from the October 24, 2009 edition of the Top Ten, (nude lady sitting on elephant tAKING A CRAP), who has since “upped the stakes,” as they say in the screenwriting game, because kicks just keep getting harder to find.

10. i caught my son masterbating in my wetsuit: I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but it warms my heart to know that James Dobson still feels like he can come to us with his problems.

Open Source Snark Section.  You know what to do:

11.  are hermaphrodite allowed to have anal sex in islam?

12.  greta van susteren bikini

13.  square pegs dubbed khmer

14.  death by hip waders

15.  candiru porn (I blame this one on D.Sidhe.)