• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!



    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

Archive for May 9th, 2009

First They Came For The Beauty Queens…

Posted by scott on May 9th, 2009

Bill O’Reilly has started a new program, much like Amnesty International, but a bit more narrowly focused: Prisoners of Conscience With Implants.


This segment of the Factor was originally titled Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, but Jared-Syn, as it turns out, had rather disappointing hooters, so it was renamed Metalstorm: The Destruction of Miss California.  But then it turned out that Metalstorm was the name of a concert event, sort of like Lilith Fair, but for German cover bands, and the Amon Düül II tribute group (Amon Düül II-7/8) threatened to sue, so Bill just wound up calling it Funbags sans Frontieres.

Checked on your freedom of speech lately?

Uh, no, actually.  I left it in front of the TV with a juice box and some Arrowroot cookies, but I’m sure it’s fine…

If not, consider the plight of 21-year-old Carrie Prejean, a student at San Diego Christian College who was selected first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant last month.

I’m not sure “plight” and “first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant” can legally be used in the same sentence.

Prejean was asked whether every state should legalize gay marriage. Smiling brightly, the young woman said: “I think that I believe a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there.”

Saying certain people should be treated unequally before the law is generally considered a bad thing, unless you smile when you say it (also, the disenfranchised group will be more likely to accept their second class status if you used a good tooth-whitener beforehand).

MSNBC allowed a guest to call her vile names, and the far-left cast of characters on that cable network has delighted in mocking and demeaning Prejean almost nightly. The left-wing blogs have been especially vicious

Oh God no, not the blogs!  This is going to be like when J. Edgar Hoover drove Jean Seberg to suicide all over again, except this time with obscure guys posting mildly snotty things for their dozens of readers!

She’s being investigated for possibly violating pageant rules by giving unapproved interviews. Of course, she gave those interviews trying to defend herself against media assaults.

Or maybe the pageant officials thought that Carrie cutting an advertisement for Maggie Gallagher’s National Organization for Marriage (“National Organization for Marriage and Carrie Prejean Launch New Ad Showing Intolerance of Gay Marriage Activists, Illustrating Threats to Religious Liberty”) was a bit pissy of her, considering.

This is a disgraceful exposition with wide implications for all of us.

Bill’s dreams of entering a beauty pageant have been shattered.


“I feel fucking pretty…And now I got nowhere to take it!”

Here we have an American citizen answering a direct question respectfully and honestly and being punished for it. You don’t get more un-American than that.

Hm.  Well, how about an American citizen being subpoenaed by Congress and interrogated about her personal political convictions, then jailed when she refused to implicate her friends and colleagues?  That’s maybe a skosh more un-American, don’t you think, Bill?  No?  Okay, tell you what, let’s compromise: I’ll weep for Carrie Prejean when she’s hauled before the House un-Pageant Activities Committee and cited for contempt of Swimsuit.

Where is the American Civil Liberties Union on this?

Laughing their asses off because you think this is a legal issue?

Once again, the ACLU displays its biased hypocrisy like a giant float-balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Because there’s no greater example of false piety than a helium-filled Underdog.

And where is the National Organization for Women?

Saying, “We told you beauty pageants were stupid and demeaning and you were wrong to take them seriously in the first place”?

A young woman is being victimized by hate speech, actually being called a “b*tch” on a variety of television programs, and NOW has no comment? Again, the hypocrisy is breathtaking.

When will these so-called “feminist” organizations stand up for the right of our beauty contestants to advocate denying equal rights to homosexuals without the gays getting all up in her silicone grill?

Finally, where is the homosexual community?

Oh darn, did they get out of the closet again?  I thought you were going to fix that latch…

Do they not respect freedom of speech? They don’t want to be punished for their expression, right?

Oh, no need for threats, Bill.  Miss Prejean felt free to say she doesn’t believe gays are entitled to the same rights she has, and some gays felt free to call her a bitch.  The system seems to be working.

It would be incredibly smart for a gay leader to pull a Voltaire and publicly state, “I don’t agree with what you say, but I defend your right to say it.” So, who’s going to be courageous and step up on this one?

Except Carrie’s right to spout antediluvian bias isn’t threatened, while equal treatment under the law for gays and lesbians is.  So maybe at this particular point in our social development, it shouldn’t really be up to them to defend her constitutional liberties.

Gay marriage has been defined by some of its supporters as a civil rights issue. Isn’t freedom of speech a civil rights issue? Therefore, let’s call this Miss California deal exactly what it is — a gross violation of the spirit of America.

If America means anything, it means the right to treat certain of your fellow citizens as slightly less human, without having to hear them complain about it.

If a 21-year-old pageant contestant can be persecuted for uttering an opinion based upon a sincere belief, then all of us are at risk, as well.

Or as Bill once memorably said, “I have a dream that my two little children will one day live in a nation where you people will shut up!  Shut UP!  Cut their mic!    Fucking thing SUCKS!

Post-Friday Beast Blogging: The Feline Noir Edition

Posted by scott on May 9th, 2009

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.*

“‘Okay Moondoggie,’ I said to myself. ‘You’re a tough guy. You’ve been sapped twice, choked, beaten silly with a gun, shot in the arm until you’re crazy as a couple of waltzing mice. Now let’s see you do something really tough – like putting your pants on.’”

*Raymond Chandler, Red Wind, 1938
**Murder, My Sweet, 1944