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Archive for September 19th, 2006

Savage Weiner versus Lesbian Fascists!

Posted by scott on September 19th, 2006

Radio talk show host Michael Savage (née Weiner) performed a public service last Wednesday, and I would just like to take a moment to salute this great American, for identifying yet another in the ever growing list of -fascisms we face today.  Blogfascism, Islamofascism, and actual fascism has now been joined by perhaps the most pernicious, subversive, yet totally HOT version yet:  Lesbian Fascism.

Via Media Matters, we see that on his September 13th program, Weiner-Savage attacked Rosie O’Donnell’s remarks about “radical Christianity” by stating, “[o]nly if you’re insane and you want to die would you promote this kind of lesbian fascism.”

Some well-intentioned but misguided people might pepper Savage with follow-up questions, such as, “WTF?”  But any fair-minded observer would have to concede that daytime TV lesbians model the defining characteristics of fascism just as rigorously as do their brothers in armed struggle, the Islamic extremists.  For instance, anyone who has ever knocked back an Anchor Steam at Cattyshack in Brooklyn knows that the conversation is invariably dominated by an obsession with national security, and the urgent necessity to entwine religion and government.  At a recent Lambda Legal event honoring Martina Navratilova, the cocktail swilling bulldykes were all abuzz over the importance of suppressing labor, while protecting corporate perogatives.  And when it comes to disdain for intellectuals and the arts, and the vital need to secure the supremacy of the military, back off boys!  The Sappho-fascists are large and in-charge.

As many of you know, the major thing about the blogsphere that I detest is its Orwellian tendency to divorce words from their meaning, so I’d just like to thank Mr. Savage for his scrupulous adherence to lexicological integrity.  Oh, and for seriously spiking the sales of old movies.

Stop Me Before I Spoil “Heroes”!

Posted by scott on September 19th, 2006

The call went out from Burbank:  “Whip me up a ripoff of X-Men, except make one of them a stripper and toss in a bunch’a random foreigners so we’ll have some implied tits and more ethnic cuisine in the catering tent!”

And so it was.

I was given a screener of the new NBC series and told to watch it by my agent, apparently because I failed to get him flowers and take him out to a liquid lunch at Applebee’s for Agent’s Day, and he’s feeling a tad bitter.  Seemed a bit harsh to me, but mea culpa, so I removed it from the DVD case with a pair of ice tongs last night and gingerly inserted it in the Sony.

I won’t spoil it for you (okay, I will), but before I do, let me just say that while Heroes was far from the worst thing I’ve ever sat through, it repaid my time and effort a thousand fold with what is unquestionably the second most unintentionally hilarious moment in television history (the first being Tucker Carlson’s Quina Mambo shirt on Dancing with the Stars).

Spoiler below the photo.

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