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Archive for September 15th, 2008

“Pearls of Wisdom”

Posted by s.z. on September 15th, 2008

It’s been a very hectic weekend (it was the semi-annual PetsMart Super Adoption event on Fri, Sat, and Sun), but I have been remiss is conveying my gratitude to everyone for the birthday wishes and kind thoughts.  So, thanks everyone! 

Thanks especially to Scott (who, I should probably mention, is coauthor of a moderately amusing self-help/cinema humor book that you might consider reading some day) for his lovely and semi-factual tribute, and to Preznit and Katherine for their very generous contributions to the “keep the cats from eating people” fund.   I’ll send them some horribly cute kitten photos later (THAT will teach them!), but for the moment they will have to trust me when I say that their felines are in the mail.

And I will try to be back to post something more substantive after I’ve got the beasts under control.  Maybe we can peruse Dr. Mike’s latest bid for attention (distrupting sexual harassment workshops).  Or perhaps it’s time to check in on some of our other favorite whiners over at Townhall/WorldNetDaily/Human Events Online.  (Any suggestions?)

For now, please enjoy these Rush Limbaugh Monday Quotes, selected as the BEST of what Rush had to say today.  (Remember as you are reading that this is the creme de la creme of Rush.) 

Rush Limbaugh arrives for the screening of

“I eat a lot of meat. Actually, a lot of liver and onions, too. My brain’s huge. Which is why, folks, I would suggest that you buy Allen Brothers. I’m one of their biggest customers!”

“How about Lindsey Lohan, ladies and gentlemen? Heard about this? I think it’s safe to say that this woman’s brain is, at best, a fried egg. Okay, maybe a scrambled egg.”

 ”So Obama wanted defeat of the US military last year, but now, all of a sudden, he wants a delay in the withdrawal of troops so that he can say he did it as president, and fulfill a campaign pledge to the kook fringe? What a slimeball!”

 ”I went to Cleveland over the weekend with friends, and they said, ‘You need to go to the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.’ But I got confused and went to the Hard Rock Cafe.”

Remember, kids, if you use drugs this could happen to you too.

Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

She Puts The Pout In Poutrage

Posted by scott on September 15th, 2008

marie1.jpg For those who still claim that “the fundamentals of the economy are strong,” I present the sad case of low-rent internet pundit Marie Jon, who recently dropped the delightfully perplexing apostrophe from the end of her surname in an effort to cut costs.  Granted, this superannuated piece of punctuation was grammatically incomprehensible, but its loss still leaves the world a poorer, if more easily pronounced, place.

But even stripped of her accent and forced to make ends meet by sitting silently on the dais at CPAC and Heritage Foundation panels and pretending to be Barbara Bach, Marie is still a soldier in the War of Ideas.  Today’s fightin’ notion:  Atheist reporters and philanthropic lapsed Jews who sneer at Sarah Palin’s faith do so at their peril, for she represents the Heartland, and every man and woman wandering around Appleby’s with an empty plate, looking for the salad bar, is Spartacus too.

As the “drive-by-media” continues to look at every aspect of Sarah Palin’s personal and religious life, they are digging themselves into a big hole, turning what they believe will cause her harm, to work for her good.

Marie may have lost her apostrophe, but she clearly hasn’t lost her unique way with words.  Or her supply of scare quotes.

The mass media and the Obama camp want to paint a ridiculous picture of Christians who refuse to embrace progressive liberal doctrine. Atheist George Soros ingratiates leftist denominations with his money. The teachings of the “Religious Left” have little to do with the Gospel of the Holy Bible.

I should have suspected that liberal Christians were in thrall to hedge fund managers and major corporations, because the last time I visited a leftist church, the pastor paused during his reading of Matthew 19:24 (“And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.”) to announce, “This sermon has been made possible by a grant from the Mobil Corporation.”

The National Council of Churches is unorthodox to say the least. Most of their churches promote homosexuality and abortion on demand.

Each confessional booth comes with its own glory hole.

Senator Obama attended such a church for twenty years, a church with no moral constraints. The congregation’s “faith” is fueled by angry, bigoted, anti-Semitic, anti-American, hate filled sermons.

I was once forced to sit through such a sermon, and I do not exaggerate when I say that its rhetoric filled me with outrage!  Until I realized that I’d wandered into the Alaskan Independence Party convention by mistake.

It is apparent that the prejudiced media wants us to believe that a mainstream denomination such as the Assemblies of God can be compared to the church of “God Damn America.” Pentecostals preach a traditional interpretation of the scriptures. There is no Marxist Black Liberation theology taught within their sanctuaries

Because there’s no blacks.  QED.

…nor any other quasi-political or racist dogma.

Except maybe that part about God using Palestinian suicide bombers to punish Jews for being mean to Jesus, but you gotta admit, they kinda had it coming.

The vicious attacks by the DNC towards the Republican female Vice-Presidential candidate are overwhelming, and speak volumes about the Obama campaign.

Fact-checking is a form of domestic abuse.

Their recent remarks more than smack of sexism.

They…punch of sexism?

Obama continues to get a pass from the agenda-driven media who worships at the altar of liberalism. Our nation, however, was founded upon Judeo-Christian beliefs.

Marie proves this by quoting from the Preamble to the Constitution, which doesn’t explicitly mention God or the Bible, but it doesn’t have to, because the Founders used an obviously Judeo-Christian font.

It is pathetic that CNN would go to the Assemblies of God Church with a team of reporters and cameras for skullduggery.

There’s nothing sneakier.  They’re like ninjas, those bastards, with their reporters and producers and sound guys with boom mikes and camera operators and cable wranglers and bright lights and satellite trucks…

Sarah Palin now attends the Wasilla Bible Church. Her church, as well as all other Protestant Evangelical churches, are strong supporters of the state of Israel.

Right up until the very instant that it’s scoured from the face of the earth by nuclear fire, thus opening the door to Jesus.  But that doesn’t mean they don’t care about saving Jewish souls in the meantime, by supporting the odd therapeutic bombing.

No doubt that this further disqualifies Palin in the eyes of these Marxists.

If you’d like to Read More About It, ask your librarian for these books:  The Death Agony of Capitalism and the Tasks of the Fourth International by Contessa Brewer,  Imperialism, the Highest Stage of Capitalism by Joe Scarborough, and I Was a Communist for the FNC by Neil Cavuto.

Wingnuts | 13 Comments »