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Archive for September 5th, 2008

None Dare Call It Aphasia

Posted by scott on September 5th, 2008

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Pastor Swank is back with an unintelligable title, and a startling scoop:

Why did B. Hussein Obama dodge the topic of extremist Muslim presence? Because he is a mask Muslim.

It’s true.  I saw him wrestle Blue Demon and Mil Mascaras at the Olympic Auditorium.

He and Michelle sat through twenty years of pro-Islam indoctrination from Muslim cohort Jeremiah Wright.

They heard sermon after sermon preached against Jews and whites. Sermonic delivery was all pro-Allah devotees.

I believe the technical term for this is glossolalia.

Further, B. Hussein hires Muslims on his Congressional and campaign staffs.

Hiring illegal aliens from Guatemala is good enough for geniune Americans like John McCain, but Mr. B. Hussein Arugula thinks he has to add a little cumin to the melting pot.

Moreover, B.. Hussein communicates closely with his cousin in Kenya, the latter having run for that country’s presidency. While in New Hampshire campaigning, B. Hussein phoned his cousin to encourage him onto political victory.

Which is a clear violation of the Neutrality Act of 1794, especially if he had money on the race.

It is this cousin who informed the Kenyans that if elected he would establish the dreaded sharia — the so-called justice and legal system that straps youths to poles in public squares and buries those accused of adultery, burying them up to their necks so that their heads can be bashed in.

Sounds brutal.  Nice of him to give the voters a heads-up, though.

B. Hussein says he can communicate directly with Islamic leaders worldwide, including the thug president of Iran. No wonder. They are all of the same club.

Obama signed up with T-Mobile just so he could add Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to his Fave Five.

B. Hussein feigns being “Christian.” He says he prays daily to Jesus. Note: That Jesus is the Islamic prophet Jesus and not the incarnate deity Jesus as recorded in the Bible.

They’re always getting each other’s mail, it’s a huge pain.  But the way you can tell the difference is, only one of them is on the government No Fly list.

B. Hussein has stated that in reading the Koran he is affected by it as reading melodic poetry. The Koran is a bloodletting publication directed as slaughtering all non-Muslims worldwide.

And it doesn’t even rhyme!

If B. Hussein gets onto Pennsylvania Avenue, Muslims will rise up to declare discriminations at right and left. They already espouse contacting the government if discriminated against, such data written on their web sites.

Muslim webmasters state they are for democracy. However, that is a lie. They are for a democracy that serves Islam alone. All other definitions must be erased.

I can’t believe we’re still focused on “terrorists” and “Islamofascists” when the real clear and present danger comes from masked Muslims who operate in the shadows and have the power to delete our comments.

B. Hussein promises America that if elected to the White House he will mesh all religions into one, slicing through the Judeo-Christian heritage of this nation.

Instead of the traditional Communion wafer, priests will be forced to distribute consecrated Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups.

B. Hussein knows there are sleeper cells for Allah throughout North America. He dares not state one word against them for they are going to set loose once January comes around.

That is why it was prudent for Sarah Palin to underline in her speech the absence of any references from B. Hussein regarding extremist Islam. She knows all of the above and is aware of B. Hussein’s alliances to undermine this Republic.

She also knows how hard it would be to shoot a moose in a burqa.

Happy Birthday, D. Sidhe!

Posted by s.z. on September 5th, 2008

Thanks for making W’oC your favorite site for ringworm/Dr. Mike updates.

I wish I had more profound to say, but I’m really tired so we’ll have to rely on Scott for a really nice tribute.

But for now, please accept this traditional scary photo of Ann Coulter as a token of my esteem.  In this one, Ann’s non-human origins are quite apparent (note the mantis-like hands).

And, if it works, here’s a bonus photo of a kitten!  It’s actually one of the 5 kittens that were born to the stray mama that the 90-year-old man asked our rescue to take.  They’re almost 4-weeks-old now, and are really round, sweet kittens (because their mother eats like a horse and spends all day nursing them).

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Later I’ll try to get a photo of my latest addition, a 10-12 week-old bobbed tail black kitten that a college girl put in the dumpster after her landlord said she had to get rid of it.

Anyway, have a great birthday.

Hugs,

–Sheri

And I thought Oedipus Was Confused…!

Posted by scott on September 5th, 2008

Over at Townhall, talk radio host and ex-Presidential child Michael Reagan experienced a vision of his dead father, and it’s apparently inspired an impromptu Iwo Jima flag-raising ceremony in his pants.

Wednesday night I watched the Republican National Convention on television and there, before my very eyes, I saw my Dad reborn; only this time he’s a she.

And what a she!

In his book On Skeeviness, Freud recounts a similar case.  The patient, Ernst W., initially described dreams of a vaguely sexual nature involving his mother.  Under hypnosis, the patient was able to recall other dreams, in which his late father Klaus returned from the grave with large breasts and a dirndle, so they could have a three-way.

Anyway, if I’m following Michael’s logic, Ronald Reagan has been resurrected and forced to live life as a woman, so he can atone for his sins against the fairer sex and learn to be a better man.  Or to put it another way:

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In one blockbuster of a speech, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin resurrected my Dad’s indomitable spirit and sent it soaring above the convention center, shooting shock waves through the cynical media’s assigned spaces and electrifying the huge audience with the kind of inspiring rhetoric we haven’t heard since my Dad left the scene.

So she caused an earthquake, then hit delegates with lightning.  I don’t think Palin is channeling Ronald Reagan.  I think she’s possessed by The Mighty Thor.

This was Ronald Reagan at his best — the same Ronald Reagan who made the address known now solely as “The Speech,” which during the Goldwater campaign set the tone and the agenda for the rebirth of the traditional conservative movement that later sent him to the White House for eight years and revived the moribund GOP.

So the Republican party has been summoning Walking Dead to their national conventions for over forty years now.  But at least back in ’64 they didn’t reserve plum, prime time speaking slots for the tranny zombies.

Much has been made of the fact that she is a woman. What we saw last night, however, was something much more than a just a woman accomplishing something no Republican woman has ever achieved. What we saw was a red-blooded American with that rare, God-given ability to rally her dispirited fellow Republicans and take up the daunting task of leading them — and all her fellow Americans — on a pilgrimage to that shining city on the hill my father envisioned as our nation’s real destination.

Sadly though, the American People wouldn’t stop roughhousing in the backseat and whining about who gets to sit next to the window, and Reagan had to make good on his threat to “turn this car around” before we actually got there.

In a few words she managed to rip the mask from the faces of her Democratic rivals and reveal them for what they are –

The Lizard People from V!

a pair of old-fashioned liberals making promises that cannot be kept without bankrupting the nation and reducing most Americans to the status of mendicants begging for their daily bread at the feet of an all-powerful government.

That’s the promise of old-fashioned liberalism in a nutshell; although somehow it sounded better when FDR said it.

Most important, by comparing her own stunning record of achievement with his, she showed Barack Obama for the sham that he is, a man without any solid accomplishments beyond conspicuous self-aggrandizement.

She killed a moose and tried to involve the state government in a wacky scheme to get her brother-in-law fired.  It’s either a stunning record of achievement, or an episode of I Love Lucy if, instead of Philip Morris, they’d been sponsored by the NRA

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Like Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin is one of us.

Not.  A.  Lizard!

Her astonishing rise up from the grass-roots, her total lack of self-importance, and her ordinary American values and modest lifestyle reveal her to be the kind of hard-working, optimistic, ordinary American who made this country the greatest, most powerful nation on the face of the earth.

This isn’t political analysis.  This is that crumpled, moist, slightly smeary note you leave in the locker of that incredibly cute girl from Home Room who gives you wet dreams, after you tried and failed to talk to during Nutrition Break.

As hard as you might try, you won’t find that kind of plain-spoken, down-to-earth, self-reliant American in the upper ranks of the liberal-infested, elitist Democratic Party, or in the Obama campaign.

So rest easy Democrats.  Yes, you may be infested with liberals, your cats may have ringworm, but rest assured that tonight Michael Reagan will not be masturbating to images of you he downloaded off the RNC website.

Sarah Palin didn’t go to Harvard, or fiddle around in urban neighborhood leftist activism

i.e., she didn’t waste her precious youth treating black people like they might have legitimate problems; instead she served her country the All-American way: by getting spiral perms and entering beauty pageants.

Instead she took on the corrupt establishment in Alaska and beat it

Yes!  Beat it!  Beat it hard!  Beat it SAVAGELY…Oh Sarah…!

…rising to the governorship…

Yes!  It’s rising…!

Welcome back, Dad, even if you’re wearing a dress and bearing children this time around.

[Sound of Tires Screeching]

Okay.  This may be the worst slash fiction I’ve ever read.