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Archive for December 12th, 2009

My President Can Beat Up Your President

Posted by scott on December 12th, 2009

I’ll be frank: it’s been Boo-Hoo-Hoo time down in Whoville recently.  While trying to protect an open wound from a thousand and one disease vectors, my prone-to-herniation disc made another bid to quit the spine and launch a solo career; and just to decorate my cupcake of weltschmerz with the almond-flavored, cyanide-laced frosting of bitterness, I’ve been dragooned into appearing in a live “radio play” version of It’s a Wonderful Life, which as anyone who’s read this already knows, I loathe with the heat of a thousand suns, assuming loathing produces heat, which it doesn’t seem to because I’ve been sitting here loathing stuff for over an hour and a half, and I still had to get up just now and put on a sweater.

sherzieve.jpg Speaking of loathsome: the minimum wage, no benefits, entry level blogosphere has been abuzz lately with calls to revolution.  At RenewAmerica, Sher Zieve, whose brain is a seething pressure cooker of sedition beneath her Cousin Oliver bowl-cut, has ended her last two columns with leading questions about armed revolt:

December 10, 2009: Since the beginnings of the ObamaCzars’ phenomena, I have been sounding the clarion call that Obama would attempt a Coup d’etat against Congress — and us. Dictator-in-Chief Obama has now threatened just that. Is there really anyone out there who doesn’t see that this guy is the American Stalin? What does one do when an admitted tyrant and his tyrannical Czars take over one’s country and impose their absolute and uncompromising will on the people of said country? I see only two options: Submit or die.

December 9, 2009:  But, if the majority of us don’t actually want slavery any longer, what do we do? Have our peaceful means ceased their effectiveness? Heck, the ObamaMedia paid little attention to us when we were at least 1.7 millions strong in Washington D.C. on 12 September and they and their Marxist-Democrat masters minimized and smeared us for voicing our discontent with Washington policies at Congressional Town Hall meetings. Are peaceful means really working, folks, or are they now just ways to vent? The Political Ruling (not governing) Class no longer listens to us in any way, shape or form. They listen only to the venomously sweet whispers of those who would offer them extraordinary bribes if they sell their souls. Do you really believe there are options other than a new American Revolution? If you do, I’d love to hear them. Please let me know. In the mean time, keep your powder dry.

Fortunately, there is one voice of sanity out there:  WorldNetDaily columnist Robert Ringer.

Ringer.jpg If there was ever a face that shrieked “compos mentis” it’s this one; he’s so darn adorably sapient I just want to give those cheeks of sanity a good pinch!  But wait until you hear his voice!  Not only is it clearly sane, but unlike a lot of low-rent pundits, he also has a great telephone voice of sanity, which really helps with those cold calls.

Now some of you may be wondering, Hey, who’s Mr. Ringtone here?  I’ve never heard of him!  And while I completely understand your skepticism — and cannot personally vouch for Mr. Ringer’s dulcet lucidity — his bio seems to think very highly of him:

Robert Ringer is the author of three No. 1 best-sellers, including two books listed by the New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time. He also hosts the highly acclaimed Liberty Education Interview Series, where he interviews today’s top economic and political leaders on the most vital and controversial issues of our time. To tap into his profound wisdom and life-changing insights on a regular basis, sign up for a FREE subscription to his one-of-a-kind e-letter, “A Voice of Sanity in an Insane World,” by visiting www.robertringer.com

Wow, “profound wisdom” and “life-changing insights”?  The best my bio will grudgingly offer is that I’ve “never been convicted of a Class B felony in the state of Nevada.”

Most readers have probably not noticed it, but in all the articles I’ve written about BHO, I have never referred to him as “President Obama” except when quoting someone else. As you might have assumed, this has not been by accident.

I’ll never forget the time I was standing in line at a bookstore, chatting with someone about BHO. A stranger standing a couple of people away from me overheard my comments and abruptly admonished me, “Whether you like it or not, he’s our president.”

To which I responded, “He may be your president, but he’s not mine.”

“My president is silent as tomorrow.  He kills in the night.  He has been acquainted with the night.  My president has a secret, that there’s, um, an elf.  In his head.  And he has a trillion times the atom bomb power.  He’s a 24-hour wide-awake nightmare, and he has all that stuff that I just mentioned, plus he has the power to completely kill your president ten times over!”

That was the end of any thought I may have had about conceding and accepting the fact that BHO had been elected to the highest office in the land.

“I’m also finished with conceding and accepting the fact that my testicles retreated into my abdominal cavity on January 20, 2009, and I’ve spent the last eleven months using my vacant scrotum as a change purse.  From now on, I’m going to totally ignore that jingling in my groin, unless I need a bus token.”

The reason I have never seen BHO as the president of the United States is because he swore to uphold the Constitution, but from the day he took an oath to that effect, he immediately began violating it.

If you’re having trouble seeing the Obama Administration in quite the same alarmist, pearl-clutching terms as Mr. Ringer, try imagining BHO as Ganymede, the slave from Mandingo, and the Constitution as the Susan George character.

Constitution.jpg

President Obama prepares to put his inky quill to the Preamble in an episode of Schoolhouse Rock.

I concede that all of our presidents have violated the Constitution, but even the worst of them have at least made a gratuitous attempt to honor it to some degree. BHO’s actions make it clear that he does not even acknowledge its existence.

The very minimum the American people deserve is a president who at least tries to be gratuitous.

But enough of my intransigence.

“And my Word-A-Day® desk calendar.”

My humble objective is to get a handle on what makes this self-defensive, arrogant young socialist so angry and so anxious to take away the rights of American citizens.

Yes, Obama is like an R. Crumb character — always fretting and grimacing and shooting huge drops of sweat from his head.

BHO’s actions have been deceitful to such an extreme that some have gone so far as to suggest that he is the Antichrist. Others stop short of that label, but see him as the epitome of evil.

Opinions run the gamut from Y to Z.

Well, this may surprise you, but I don’t see Chairman Obama as evil. I really don’t. After a good deal of study and observation, my take on him is that he is a man without a soul. And, as soulless individual, his actions are not hampered by trivial moral considerations.

Obama has no soul?  Awesome!  According to the Bible (or at least, certain Southern theologians), that means we have the legal and moral right to enslave him, and given the weak economy, I was thinking maybe we should go halvsies.  Now, I’ve been going over some popular slave names, and I suggest we call the president either “Josephus” or “Tituba.”

If you read his autobiographies (two in print before he even made it to the White House!)

That’s two more books than his predecessor has even read!

…along with some of the other books written about him, you see a very troubled young man. I, for one, have a great deal of compassion for anyone who has experienced a difficult childhood.

And, clearly, Obama had a dysfunctional life growing up – a white Marxist mother, a black African Muslim father who was a drunk and a philanderer, then, of all things, an Indonesian Muslim stepfather. And, of course, there were the years he spent in a Wahabbi Muslim school in Indonesia (Wahabbi schools being most famous for teaching students hatred of Western countries).

Apparently “a great deal of compassion” is a term of art favored by childhood development experts to describe what laymen might refer to as “passive-aggressive insinuations about someone who’s too big to beat with a clothes hanger or a fan belt.”

Given all this, it’s not hard to understand why a youngster would become vulnerable to a “down–with-the-rich” proselytizer. And in BHO’s life, it seems clear that that proselytizer came in the form of American communist Frank Marshall Davis, whom he refers to in his memoirs simply as “Frank.”

Which is pretty shocking, given how formal most communists are, even on Casual Fridays.  In fact, I have it on good authority that whenever Obama’s Marxist mentor walked into a Starbucks to order a Caramel Brulée Latte, he insisted the barista write “American communist Frank Marshall Davis” on the cup.

Ironically, BHO attended Punahou High School in Honolulu, which is the most upper-crust school in Hawaii. Like so many other things about BHO’s life, where he got the money to attend such an expensive school, not to mention Columbia and Harvard, has never been revealed.

Democratic presidents who come from modest or even underprivileged backgrounds (Obama, Clinton) yet manage to attend good schools are automatically suspected of using corrupt means to acquire an education, while mediocre but monied legacies who attend Harvard and Yale on the strength of their family connections are rightly applauded for playing by the rules.

In this series of articles, I’m going to try to get inside BHO’s head by dissecting the man and the book that perhaps had more influence on his anti-capitalist, anti-American attitude than anyone or anything else in his life. I’m talking, of course, about the infamous Saul Alinsky, founder of modern community organizing, and his equally infamous book “Rules for Radicals.”

Because I always keep in mind that it is critically important to know your enemies, I recently reread “Rules for Radicals” and was surprised by how certain parts of it struck me. For example, would you believe that there was much about Saul Alinsky that I actually liked? He was a fascinating character with a great sense of humor.

In fact, Alinksy was a witty, congenial, intellectual man with whom I probably would have enjoyed having lunch once a month. As I reread “Rules for Radicals,” I pictured what it would have been like to have engaged in friendly philosophical debates with my fantasy friend at the other end of the political spectrum.

I’m glad Robert has made some new fantasy acquaintances, because lately his old imaginary friends have been canceling or declining lunch and dinner dates with one lame excuse after another.

I think my attitude toward him would have been, “Saul, I love ya, pal, but I feel obliged to tell you that you’re full of crap.” And with that, we’d have another friendly debate over human nature, philosophy, politics and life. Alinksy was no Jeremiah Wright or Bill Ayers. He was a serious thinker.

“Then after lunch we’d walk around Chicago’s famous ‘Loop’ and do some window-shopping, or perhaps, if the weather was warm, we could stroll along the lake shore and share a refreshing Italian ice.  Eventually, I see us taking off our shoes and socks and running in slow motion on a beach…”

In Part 2 of this article, I’ll tell you some of the things in the early part of “Rules for Radicals” that make me believe that I would have liked Saul Alinsky. Before concluding that I’ve lost my mind, be sure to read what I have to say.

Um, sorry.  Too late.