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Archive for December 17th, 2007

Indiana Jones And The Lost Index

Posted by scott on December 17th, 2007

Thanks to everyone who has summoned the courage to face your demons, plunge to the depths of your tormented soul, and bring up a bunch of crappy films for our sequel to . Please keep them coming — add your bad memories, suspected fever dreams, and other suggested turkeys to this thread.
Speaking of which, distinguished commenter preznit giv me turkee has implied that the original volume could have benefited from an index. So, in the spirit of holiday giving, we present, for the first time ever, Better Living Through Bad Movies: The Uncut Table of Contents, which was only released in Europe, and which until now has solely been available in samizdat.
Marital Success and Thinner Thighs the Hollywood Way
Indecent Proposal
The Story of Us
Eyes Wide Shut

It’s the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Fine But You’re All Dead
Judge Dredd
The Postman
Waterworld
Battlefield Earth

Coping with Grief: The Five Stages of Bad Sequels
Highlander II: The Quickening
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Batman & Robin

What I Did for Love
Autumn in New York
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven
Coyote Ugly

Deviled Ham: Torments of the Damned, or Just Overacting?
The Devil’s Rain
Omega Code
The Ninth Gate

Chick Flicks versus Ick Flicks
Armageddon
Beaches

MSNTV: (Mars, Space & ‘Nowledge Television)
Mission to Mars
Red Planet
Dune

Sex, Lies and Direct-to-Videotape: The Rise and Fall of the Erotic Thriller
Body Chemistry
Body of Evidence
Color of Night

Satan: A Career Retrospective
Satan’s Cheerleaders
The Final Conflict: Omen III
End of Days

Ziggy Stardust, Action Hero!
Gymkata
Never Too Young To Die
Megaforce

Bionic Booty: Hollywood’s Enduring Love Affair with Man-on-Machine Miscegenation
The Colossus of New York
Saturn 3
Bicentennial Man

Weird Sex or: Making the Beast with Two Backs with the Beast with Two Backs
The Deadly and the Beautiful
Mars Needs Women (with bonus Mars Needs Women: The Musical!)
The Bride
Humanoids from the Deep

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Scientist
The Ape Man
Mesa of Lost Women
Konga
Hollow Man

Bats Entertainment!
The Devil Bat
Bats

Teenage Wasteland
Teenage Devil Doll
Because They’re Young
Disturbing Behavior
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Live Fast, Die Young, and Leave a Bad-Looking Movie
Gone in 60 Seconds
Days of Thunder
Redline 7000
Murdercycle

The Space-Crap Continuum
Red Dawn (the Special Edition)