I�ve always been dubious about the purported link between pornography and sexual violence, but yesterday�s LA Times reported that Bush has signed an order creating the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands National Monument, the world�s largest marine preserve; and this action follows previous Bush efforts to lift the less stringent protections granted to the area by the Clinton Administration. So what prompted this dramatic turnaround?
The president saw a Jacques Cousteau movie. As Doctor Forrester once worriedly remarked, �You know how easily Frank is swayed by the moving image.�
But that wasn�t the most startling news the Times offered. In the midst of the Bush�s uncharacteristic spasm of humanity, we get this leaked bombshell from Deep Throat in the third paragraph:
“With a stroke of a pen, the president not only can accomplish the single largest act of conservation in U.S. history, but he can inspire the American public on the broader importance of our ocean and coastal environments,” said a senior administration official who requested anonymity so as to not upstage Bush’s announcement today.
Let me be the first to say what needs to be said here: It�s only through the fortitude and personal sacrifice of whistleblowers like this, who anonymously read Administration boilerplate to reporters over the phone, that our democracy survives. Imagine, if you will, a world in which the media did not routinely shield the identities of White House sources in exchange for a quote about how smart and handsome the president is. Why, we�d either get stories entirely devoid of talking points posing as reportage, or We The People would know which senior administration official is going on and on about the potency of the presidential pen strokes, and then Bush would know how much the source liked him, and he�d have all the hand in the relationship, and would probably be all ignoring him in the halls and at Cabinet meetings, but start making drunken booty calls to the source at three in the morning.
So you can see why our traditions of transparent governance and the free exchange of ideas rely upon the uncompromising principle of source confidentiality.
But now that we know how susceptible the president is to magic lantern shows, which movies and TV programs should we recommend to help him correct other failed policies?
I think he should just start Tivoing the Bravo network. Doesn�t really matter what day or time; after a few episodes of Queer Eye, Project Runway, Top Chef, and Kathy Griffin, I guarantee he will drop his support for the anti-gay marriage amendment, and more profitably spend his time and resources dissing Star Jones.
UPDATE
I see Kevin Drum managed to make essentially the same point, but without dragging porn or Star Jones into it.