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Shorter Dr. Mike: “A black female student failed to ‘get me,’ but did get uppity with me.”

Or, How I Joined a Black Soriority and Helped Fight Racism and Sexism.

This column is the story of a black female grad student who didn’t understand that nobody should take Dr. Mike seriously, or talk to him, or pay him any mind whatsoever (except to mock him, if desired). So, one fine day she called to tell him she didn’t approve of his (sarcastic) column in which he said that if he were President of UNC, or King of the World, or something, he would abolish the Black Student Center, on the grounds that racism has been vanquished, and if blacks don’t agree, it just proves the conventional wisdom that they are stupider than whites. (Actually, I can’t remember his justification for abolishing it, but undoubtedly it was something “non-P.C.” and mean-spirited and stupid.)

Anyway, he was rude and obnoxious to the woman, and the media did a story about it, which ended up being an enormous victory for Dr. Mike, in that now even more people think he’s a dick, but they do agree that he has the constitutional right to be one.

Here’s a condensed version of the column.

Many African American Cultural Centers actually impede diversity by turning black students into racists and segregationists. … I did not know at the time that I was going to hear a woman half my age lecture me on the importance of tolerance and diversity. … Sitting in my office getting a lecture on tolerance from someone half my age was bad.

And the lesson to be learned from this is: Dr. Mike is OLD!

And here are a few other bits from the column that were of interest (but probably only to me, as Dr. Mike is getting kind of tedious).

Author’s Note: Please take the time to vote in the local ABC affiliate’s First Amendment poll.

Yes, please do take the time to vote. I voted “Don’t know/ don’t care.”

When the black alumna called she said she had read my recent column “If I Were President.” She wanted to know whether I was really going to abolish the African American Center. At that point, I already knew we were in for an educational conversation. These days, college graduates are not well-versed in satire. As an art form, it is swiftly becoming extinct.

Maybe the real problem is that Dr. Mike’s columns are not very artful. (Seriously, dude, maybe it’s not that everyone else is stupid, maybe your satire just isn’t that good.)

Next, she dropped this bombshell: “I will be in touch with your supervisors.” She even promised to drive in from out of town to set up personal meetings with them.

(Author’s Note: Ironically, both of the administrators she promised to contact are defendants in a First Amendment lawsuit pending before the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Virginia. Oral arguments in Adams v. UNCW are scheduled to begin on January 25th).

Ironically, Dr. Mike, who styles himself as a First Amendment Warrior, still seems to believe that the Constitution says that “Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech, but it should make laws requiring universities to promote unqualified professors who bitch and moan a lot about being oppressed.”

Shortly after that, the local media decided to get involved. The TV cameras rolled out to UNCW’s African American Center in order to get this footage of a young diversity expert giving his take on the situation. Notice that he confidently asserts that my speech is way outside the mainstream – so much so that it is “inappropriate” to suggest that I represent the university.

Yes, Dr. Mike really does believe that he’s just saying what everyone else thinks.

The WWAY website (a local TV station) ran a poll, which I am thankful to have won by a ratio of eight-to-one. That is significant because my percentage of support greatly outnumbers the local and national white population. Yet this young diversity expert will probably never acknowledge that his own views are seen by most as “incredible, to say the least” and “inappropriate” at an institution of higher learning.

If you check the poll, you’ll note that the question is only if Dr. Mike’s comments are protected by the First Amendment or not. Nowhere is there even a hint of “Is Dr. Mike right about how Black Student Centers promote racism, and should it be illegal for girls half his age to try to lecture him on tolerance? (a)Yes, or (b) HELL, YES?”

So, what the heck is the point of “my percentage of support greatly outnumbers the local and national white population”? Is he implying that black Americans don’t believe in the First Amendment? Is he bragging about how his lumpen Townhall supporters (who undoubtedly voted on his behalf) greatly outnumber the local black population? Does he believe that the First Amendment is All About Him? Or is he just really, really stupid?

Note that the WWAY survey was worded in such a way as to steer the results in a certain direction. A better poll would have asked “Does Scott Pickey understand that the First Amendment only protects offensive speech because inoffensive speech does not need protection? Yes or No.” Or “Is Scott Pickey a) an objective journalist? Or, b) a political commentator like Mike Adams?”

An even better poll would have asked “Dr. Mike? (a): Don’t know; (b) don’t care.”

12 Responses to “Dr. Mike Makes the (Local) News!”

Well, all I can say is that it’s a good thing there’s no affirmative action for assholes.

Many African American Cultural Centers actually impede diversity by turning black students into racists and segregationists

Nevermind that they were opened on campuses in the first place because blacks were unwelcome nearly everyplace else…

I did not know at the time that I was going to hear a woman half my age lecture me on the importance of tolerance and diversity. … Sitting in my office getting a lecture on tolerance from someone half my age was bad.

I bet in his mind, he was off fantasizing about her holding a whip over him, wearing a leather bustier and chaps.

These days, college graduates are not well-versed in satire. As an art form, it is swiftly becoming extinct.

…throttled to death at the hands of Dr Perfesser Mike.

(Author’s Note: Ironically, both of the administrators she promised to contact are defendants in a First Amendment lawsuit pending before the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Virginia. Oral arguments in Adams v. UNCW are scheduled to begin on January 25th– and dismissed January 26, with shouts of “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COURT” and loud laughter).

Fixed that fer ya, Dr Perfesser…

That is significant because my percentage of support greatly outnumbers the local and national white population.

Apparently, Dr Perfesser Mike FReeped his own poll…

Unfortunately, after seven years I can’t vote (a), but I’m not sure (b) is the right answer either. I mean, just as I don’t care about manure per se, but do enjoy the bountiful harvest it stimulates as a fertilizer, I couldn’t be less impressed with the reeking sacks of outrage Dr. Mike pours out on a weekly basis, but do look forward to the s.z. posts that blossom after the rain.

If we could just do something about the smell

Dr. Mike:

a) ignorant
b) bigoted
c) morally deficient
d) a and c
e) all of the above

it’s a good thing there’s no affirmative action for assholes.

Rest assured that the nation’s leading assholes earned those positions purely on what they have accomplished in the area.

I’m not sure, but I think Dr. Mike’s readers may have swarmed that poll:

What is it with liberal blacks versus the more adult conservative blacks? It seems like an episode from “Peanuts” where Charlie Brown runs into Linus who always carries a dusty ole blanket. The blanket is a “security blanket” much like all these African American centers. What blacks really need is more maturity and less of this angry passive aggressive socialist rap of trash talking everything a conservative says but they become whimpy sissy’s when a white liberal says something offensive(think Dan Rather’s “Obama couldn’t sell watermellons by the road side”). Blacks whimped out and now this angry girl gets worked up over the failures of diversity and one man’s comments that diversity is no longer needed.

Classy!

Any further developments on this?

I’ve lost track cuz when the poll results were announced during the evening news I shot my TV.

“Whimped”? Sure sounds like one of Dr Mike’s students.

You know what, I’m gonna draw him as a liver fluke with a gun. He’s basically a parasite who survives on bile.

Is he implying that black Americans don’t believe in the First Amendment? Is he bragging about how his lumpen Townhall supporters (who undoubtedly voted on his behalf) greatly outnumber the local black population? Does he believe that the First Amendment is All About Him? Or is he just really, really stupid?

Do we have to choose>? I vote “Yes”.

Sorry – Dr. Mike screwed my keyboard. Someone else is going to have to close the italics.

I am so pleased to hear that Dr. Mike supports free speech rights. I am going to hold my breath in anticipation of him writing a post defending the Smithsonian against censorship of its LGBT exhibit.

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/11/30/smithsonian-lgbt-exhibit/

What is it with liberal blacks versus the more adult conservative blacks? [...] What blacks really need is more maturity and less of this angry passive aggressive socialist rap of trash talking everything a conservative says but they become whimpy sissy’s when a white liberal says something offensive(think Dan Rather’s “Obama couldn’t sell watermellons by the road side”). Blacks whimped out and now this angry girl gets worked up over the failures of diversity and one man’s comments that diversity is no longer needed.

Classy!

And so well spelled and punctuated, too. Yet another argument for not letting the guy within 500 ft of any student at any institution of learning.

Something to say?