You remember Russ J. Alan, RenewAmerica’s resident “adventurist” and “philosophist,” who we last saw here, fretting over the possibility that the Fort Hood shootings would fail to ignite an anti-Muslim pogrom (because what’s the point of being an adventurist if you don’t get to role-play the Charlton Heston part in Khartoum, except — instead of getting a spear between the ribs — this time you roll a natural 20, so it’s that Mahdi guy who gets kebobbed?) Anyway, this week he’s read the tea bags and is feeling much more optimistic about the chances for widespread mob violence in 2010:
I say the biggest mistake we conservatives can make in 2010 is to continue worrying about how we appear to the left, John McCain style, as we have been doing for so many years past. We must to stop appeasing the leftists, we must stop caring what they think, we must have the courage of our convictions and the pride to voice it without shame. No more bipartisanship. We need partisanship and plenty of it.
Note: This column is set in that “Mirror, Mirror” universe from Star Trek where Spock has Jonah Goldberg’s goatee.
Yes, 2000–2009, or the “aughts”…had some bad times, but they weren’t all bad. They started with the last two years of the administrations of President Clinton who sewed the seeds of the “housing bubble” but didn’t weed out the Muslim problem nor take out Osama Bin Laden when he had the chance, and that was bad.
Clinton left office on January 20, 2001, so I’m not sure where Russ is getting “the last two years of the administrations of President Clinton” from. But then, he’s a philosophist, not a mathematician, and likes to fudge Presidential terms a bit. For instance, his bio claims that he “served in the Department of Defense in Europe during the Cold War under President Reagan (1980-82),” which, as commenter Woodrowfan noted, probably means “he was a private in the Army for his minimum 2 years,” while Round Guy points out that “Reagan wasn’t even sworn in until January of ‘81 so he…either peeled potatoes under the dreaded Jimmy Carter or stretched the dates.”
As for Clinton “sew[ing]” seeds — it’s nice he had a crafty little hobby to relax over, but I hope at some point he traded up to a Bedazzler.
The Republicans elected President George W. Bush and we didn’t have a democrat president in the White House when we were attacked by Muslim extremists in 2001…
Cause? Meet Effect.
…and that was good. We lost many soldiers in Iraq which was bad, but we took out the murderous, weapon of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein
Saddam was like Mel Gibson’s character Martin Riggs in the Lethal Weapon films, in that he, himself, was a weapon. But unlike Riggs, he didn’t use bullets and karate, because those don’t create mass destruction, so I guess Saddam would — I don’t know — fart mustard gas?
and we killed lots and lots of Muslim extremists, and that was a really good thing.
On a similar note, Russ is a lot like Martha Stewart, if her magazine Living was called Dying, and mostly contained articles about remodeling your charnel house, and recipes for whipping up a batch of homebrew Zyklon-B out of those leftover holiday snack ingredients.
In 2006, Conservatives lost the majority position in congress, and Mike Huckabee, instead of dropping out of the Republican primary and endorsing Mitt Romney, gave us John McCain who became the Republican nominee (bad), who stabbed his running mate, Sarah Palin, in the back and gave up the presidency to Barack Obama, and that was really bad.
I think Russ is confusing the McCain-Palin campaign with Episode 8 of I, Claudius (“Reign of Terror”), but I admit it would have made the Presidential race a lot more fun.
The Tea Party movement doesn’t need to be organized, we are already organized. We are an “organism” like a colony of ants or even better, like the “Borg” on “Star Trek: the Next Generation.” We communicate with each other and act as one, toward a common goal, and just like the Borg, “Resistance is futile — you will be assimilated.”
Well…it’s good to have role models.
We don’t care that it raises the blood pressure of the leftists to hear the term “Tea Parties,” we don’t care that it “fills them with disgust.” Conservatives get disgusted when we hear “Al Gore,” “global warming,” “cap and trade,” “health care reform”… do the LEFTISTS care what WE think? Why should I care what THEY think? I want them to get their blood pressure up. The higher the better (actually, the lower the better — I would prefer the leftists have zero blood pressure).
Just in case you thought Russ wants to kill all Muslims, he wants you dead, too. So it’s not like he’s a racist
Another “worst thing” conservatives could do is vote strictly “Republican” in the November 2010 elections, especially if many of the so-called “blue-dog” democrats follow in the footsteps of Senator Parker Griffith of Alabama, switch to the Republican party to prevent losing their seats in Congress.
I knew you could switch parties, but I had no idea you could switch from the House of Representatives to the Senate at will. That’s pretty cool, although I don’t know why Griffith didn’t aim just a smidge higher and switch to the presidency.
The Republican party would just be adding more weak, timid, moderate, appeasing, “bipartisan,” woosies, otherwise known as RINOS (Republicans in name only).
I know what RINOs are, but woosies are new to me. Are they a candy or gum? But it’s not merely weak-kneed politicians who are kicking the grass roots in the teabags. Fellow RenewAmerica scribe Warner Todd Huston believes the 24 Hour Tea Party People lack the requisite cult of personality to become a truly effective tool of freedom, but Russ is not having it.
Mr. Huston believes that the Tea Party movement was destined to fail from its inception, and continues to say that the main reason is lack of a leader. If he doesn’t believe we lead ourselves or that Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Mark Levin (the latter three are also an “organism”)
Well, wait a second, I don’t think that’s quite fair. Most of his detractors will agree that Glenn Beck is an organism, and some will even concede that he’s multicellular.
…then I guess he is saying he doesn’t want to lead it either. OK, if that’s the case, I nominate myself — I will lead it. As the leader of the Tea Party, I propose that we rename it the Constitution party or the Conservative party, and effective immediately, we don’t care what the leftists think.
So nyah. However, Russ might want to check and see what officials of the Conservative Party and the Constitution Party think, since both are, so to speak, pre-existing conditions.
In 2006, Conservatives lost the majority position in congress, and Mike Huckabee, instead of dropping out of the Republican primary and endorsing Mitt Romney, gave us John McCain
Mitt Romney? For reals? Mitt “I ran to the left of the Democrat in Massachussets for two statewide races and one of them was Teddy Kennedy” Romney? The guy who pushed through socialized healthcare? George Romney’s kid? The guy who said Sarah Palin was on an influential people list because she’s purty?
As opposed to, say, McCain, whose voting record (with the exception of campaign finance reform, which he pretty much signed onto to defund his opponents) is to the right of Attila the Hun? The torture victim who actually enabled torture to make conservatives happy?
Pretty much the only “conservative” value you can reliably count on Romney for is going to be screwing the workers, and while I’m sure he’s going to be tickled to go there for you (Romney-Fiorina ’12!), I’m not sure that’s going to get people knocking on doors for ya.
Left by julia on December 30th, 2009