The title of Dr. Mike’s latest Townhall piece strenuously hints that he’s about to go all Swiftian on our asses, and while I suspect there’s going to be more Premium Ham and less Jonathan in the presentation, I don’t want to prejudice the jury. So let’s all sit back and enjoy the flint-edged satire, shall we?
In recent years, I’ve been forced to re-evaluate my positions on a number of subjects.
“For instance, I used to think that merely hearing the word ‘vagina’ would make my mighty manroot fold over like the Uncle Sam air dancer at a car dealership when you shut the fan off. But now I realize that I also go limp when I hear the words cooter, distaff, and pants-peach.”
Last week, it happened again when New Hampshire Governor John Lynch signed legislation making New Hampshire the first state to repeal a law requiring that parents be notified before a child decides to kill its unborn baby. This legislation has now helped me get over my antiquated moral objections to statutory rape
Given that Dr. Professor Mike wooed and wed one of his own students, I have a feeling his objections to sex between older and younger partners is less a matter of moral principle and more a matter of degree.
Governor Lynch said he believes parents should be involved in the minor’s decision to abort but that “unfortunately” such input is “not possible” in all cases. If that is true of the decision to abort, how much more true is it concerning the decision to have sex? It would be nice if a parent were around to help a ten-year old decide whether twenty one-year olds’ sexual advances are best rejected, but such supervision is, after all, rarely a realistic possibility.
Mike, Mike, it’s only the second paragraph, and you’ve already turned into the overexcited dweeb who blows his load before the other guys in the circle jerk even get their pants off. Pace yourself, dude.
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