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Archive for August 16th, 2006

The Fact That They Deny It Only Proves Its Truth

Posted by s.z. on August 16th, 2006

Woman With Al Qaeda Note, Vaseline, and Screwdriver Causes Terrorist Incident

Of course, the wingnutosphere was right on this latest example of Islamofacism … which was soon downgraded to merely a case of a nutty, hysterical, claustrophobic woman who caused a distrubance on a plane.  (Note: the woman in question was not, as previously reported, Annie Jacobsen.)

Here’s part of the latest A.P. story:

Two fighter jets were scrambled Wednesday to escort a London-to-Washington flight to an emergency landing in Boston after a passenger became so agitated she needed to be restrained, authorities said.

The federal official for Boston’s Logan International Airport said there was no indication of terrorism and denied reports that the passenger aboard United Flight 923 had a screw driver and a note referring to al-Qaida. 

[...]

An airport spokesman, Phil Orlandella, previously confirmed broadcast reports that the woman was carrying Vaseline, a screw driver, matches and a note referring to al-Qaida, but later backed off the statement. Naccara said it was not true.

“I don’t know what she had on board with her, but we have been told she did not have a screw driver, she did not have any liquids such as Vaseline, and any notebook she may have had, it did not contain an al-Qaida reference,” Naccara said. He said he had no information about matches.

(She apparently did have matches, as well as hand cream, but neither item was prohibited.)

And once the updated info came out, did the Wingnutosphere emit a collective “Ooops!  Sorry, my bad”?

Are you kidding?

Here’s the response from Mary Katharine Ham, who was the designated Chicken Little at Michelle Malkin’s site today:

London-to-D.C. Flight Diverted for Unruly Passenger With ‘Note Referencing Al Qaeda’ (Update: Reports of Note Denied)

(Update: I’ve got a deadline on another project,

How convenient!

so I may not be able to follow closely for a bit, here, but Hot Air and Ace have got it in hand.

Ace:

Now comes the lecturing and hectoring about “overreactions” and “anti-Muslim backlash.”

Root causes, baby. We wouldn’t overreact if you weren’t always trying to murder us.

You must understand the non-Islamic point of view.

Which is, basically: Stop trying to kill us.

Shorter Ace: But Mom, he started it!

Now, back to MKat:

We have lost the luxury of leaving terrorism out of a story like this until the full, confirmed, two-sourced, second-day story comes out.

Why, pray tell? 

Why? Because if a claustrophobic woman is a diversionary tactic and the pilot doesn’t land the plane, the plane could come down in a much more unpleasant way.

Right, but why do you, a blogger, not have the luxury of waiting until the confirmed story comes out before bringing terrorism into it?

And, if the pilot and security officials are treating it as such, ain’t nothing wrong with the press telling the public.

So, MKat’s position is that, as a blogger, she is REQUIRED to shoot them all and let God sort them out.

And that story about the boy who cried wolf?  Just a bit of liberal naysaying, so pay it no mind.

But the best reactions to the updated story come from AllahPundit and his readers.  Take it away, AlPun:

and his readers.  Take it away, AlPun:

Fox just said the woman had a note referencing Al Qaeda, along with “vaseline,” matches, and a screwdriver.

Fox says an undersecretary at TSA is denying that the woman had any notes or items on her, which puts us back at claustrophobia. Very strange to have two competing storylines like this.

Which storyline you believe depends upon your ideology, of course. Lefties will accuse the feds of making up the stuff about the note and vaseline in order to spread panic. Righties will accuse the feds of making up the stuff about claustrophobia in order not to spread panic.

Kids, allow me the first to tell you that you don’t have to believe either of AlPun’s storylines.  You are perfectly free to assume that the feds just got garbled information, and the press ran with it because terror on planes sells papers (and movie tickets — we could call the screenplay based on this incident “Lube on a Plane”), and that nobody consciously made up anything.

But as for “bdfaith,” he has made his choice re: worldviews:

It’s disheartening to realize our governments quite willing to lie to us to avert panic and not stir up any more anymosity toward the poor, poor mistreated Muslims.

Yes, our very own government even went so far as to claim that the unruly passenger was a 59-year-old, white woman from Vermont, instead of a young, Arabic male, like we all know that it must have been.

Damn that George Bush and his government’s Islamo-coddling!  I guess it’s time to join a militia group.

That’s Our Derb!

Posted by s.z. on August 16th, 2006

Fresh from the NRO “Corner”: 

Whose Country? [John Derbyshire]

This news item concerns Leftist legal-action groups suing a Pennsylvania town over ordinances the town has passed to discourage illegal immigrants from settling there.  Near the end comes this sentence:

“About a third of the [sic] Hazelton’s residents are Hispanic, up from around 5 percent in 2000, officials say.”

[Derb]  From 5 percent to 33 percent in just six years?  And the President wonders why opposition to his open-borders-and-amnesty plan is so fierce?
Posted at 2:37 PM

[s.z.] Nowhere in the article is there anything to indicate that 33% of the town now consists of illegal aliens.  (FYI: my town has gained a large proportion of Hispanic residents in the past few years, but the vast majority of them are either U.S. citizens or legal residents.)  So, I guess Derb’s point is that any real American would naturally object to living in a town that’s a third Hispanic – and unless President Bush realizes this and appoints Michelle Malkin as the new head of the INS, the “base” is never going to support Bush’s immigration plan.

ZARDOZ Part II

Posted by scott on August 16th, 2006

 

 (Click here for Part I)

 Our story so far:  Sean realizes he’s about to spend an entire movie wearing a French braid and a diaper, so he shoots the cameraman and makes a break for the car.  But it’s parked on the far side of the catering tent, and before he can reach it…

…director John Boorman foils Sean’s escape by cutting to a scene of Zardoz, the Giant Screaming Santa Head floating serenely through the clouds, as it belts out an aria in its surprisingly lovely mezzo soprano voice.

Inside the head, we see a huge mound of sawdust.  Apparently, when he’s not defending the Second Amendment and preaching against the penis, Zardoz likes to relax with a little decorative woodworking.  But wait!  It turns out the sawdust was only there so that Sean could emerge dramatically from the pile (also so that they’d be prepared in the event the audience suddenly barfs).  As Sean rises, we can see that he’s dressed like the other pro-gun/anti-penis types (let’s call them The Cheneys), except he has spurned hot pants in favor of a pair of pleather Depends, and he’s accessorized his ensemble with hip waders and crossed bandoliers, creating a look that’s sort of And a River Runs Through It meets the Frito Bandito. 

Sean looks around the interior of the head, sees a bunch of naked English people in man-sized Shake ‘N Bake bags, then spies the guy with the blue tea towel on his head, who tells Sean, “Without me, you’re nothing!” (so apparently he’s Cubby Broccoli).  Sean promptly shoots him right between the towel, and he falls out of Zardoz’s mouth and plunges screaming to his death.  (Well, we’re later told he falls a thousand feet to his death, although at this particular moment he appears to be thinking his Happy Thoughts because he just sort of hovers there in his pajamas like one of the Darling children.)

Anyway, the Giant Santa godhead and its precious cargo of boil-in-the-bag nudists lands at “the Vortex,” an impregnable, futuristic 17th century village where everyone dresses like Flemish peasants but talks like they’re on Space: 1999.  Sean wanders around the place and gets successively terrorized by flour, hydroponic Brussels sprouts, and a jack-in-the-box.  Fortunately, he finds a talking ring that explains everything in the movie, even when you don’t want it to (Sean:  “What is it?”  Ring:  “Flower.”  Sean:  “Purpose?”  Ring:  “Decorative.”)  This is a pretty cool gadget, and I wish I’d had one when the Netflix envelope first arrived.  (Me:  “What is it?”  Ring:  “Zardoz.”  Me:  “Purpose?”  Ring:  “To give self-indulgent crap a bad name.”)

A plain-looking woman appears.  Like the other residents of the Vortex, she is an immortal, possesses deadly psionic powers, and is very very boring.  Unlike the other “Eternals,” she also apparently thought Scarlett Johansson’s costume from Girl with a Pearl Earring would make the perfect fashion statement if you just accessorized it with a hat made from a Handi-Wipe and dyed the whole thing orange.

Anyway, Orangina mentally bitch-slaps Sean, then places him in a Mylar pup tent decorated with Playboy centerfolds, and we get to watch home movies of Sean riding around with a bunch of other guys sporting Pampers and porn ‘staches, shooting dress extras in the back and forcing themselves on women trapped in gill nets.

The raping and killing doesn’t bother blank-faced Eternal Charlotte Rampling, but she is so traumatized by Sean’s graphic memories of forced wheat farming that she can only speak in words beginning with the letter Q.  “Quench it,” she advises.  “Quell it.”

Orangina wants to keep Sean, but there’s a no-pet policy in the Vortex, so the Homeowners Association has to take a vote.  A male Eternal named “Friend” with prenaturally poofy hair takes a liking to Sean and promises to feed him and pick up after he does his business.  The condo board agrees to let Sean live on a trial basis, but insists that in order to prevent him from digging up the flower beds, he has to be crated every night.

The next morning, Friend appears dressed in a skirt and a low cut macramé halter top, his hair wildly teased, and proceeds to methodically beat the half-naked Sean with a bullwhip in a scene that’s totally free of any homosexual undertones.

The rest of the Eternals sit down to lunch, where they pass a green baguette around the table and ritually sniff it, while Sean hauls Friend around in a rickshaw as he delivers oddly-hued baked goods to the Apathetics – a group dressed like late Renaissance Walloons who stand motionless and stare into space all day, slack-jawed and drooling.  Friend explains that these are the sole survivors of a Zardoz test screening in La Jolla.

Tomorrow — Episode III:  Pants!