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Somehow I got on the mailing list for the “Pink Elephants,” which is either an email group for Republican alcoholics or a social group for women of a certain age (like the Red Hat Society, but for the queen size gal).
Anyway, they send me “talking points” every week, so I know what I should think about stuff (usually Democrats) for that period.  And I feel that I should share the wealth, so here are a couple of points for YOU to talk about:

 A Party Divided  

Millions of Democrats believe Barack Obama is not ready to lead. Democrats are concerned that Barack Obama does not have the experience, judgment and leadership we need today when our country is facing critical challenges at home and abroad.

This is a “talking point” because Republicans hope that millions of Democrats will believe that all the cool Democrats don’t think that Obama is ready to lead, and somehow they just got left out of loop. 

But here’s a talking point for you to spread around at the water cooler at work, or on the Internets, or at the local bar (wherever you choose to hang out) : millions of Americans are concerned that George W. Bush does not have the experience, judgement and leadership we need today when our country is facing critical challenges at home and abroad, including many critical challenges that he helped to create.  So, are you going to take leadership advice from the party who gave us the WORST PRESIDENT EVER?!?  What are you, STUPID???

But on to the next bullet on why Obama is too inexperienced to lead us out of this mess:

Barack Obama says he wants energy independence, but he opposes new drilling at home; opposes nuclear power; and opposes encouraging invention of an advanced, affordable electric car.

Obama opposes encouraging the invention of an advanced electric car?  The bastard!  I bet he is also against encouraging the invention of a flying car that can talk and fight crime!  And just what is his policy on encouraging the invention of personal rocket ships and energy-efficient death rays?   Voters need to know!

On Iraq, Barack Obama says he wants peace, but even today he opposes the surge strategy that succeeded in Iraq and will succeed in Afghanistan.  Barack Obama’s policy of unconditional withdrawal could result in renewed violence and a third Iraq war. 

Yes, any day now the surge will succeed in Afghanistan.  You just keep watching – things could be be hunky-dory over there as early as tomorrow, so just be patient and believe in The Surge.  But hey, if it doesn’t look like it’s working, it’s just because you have insufficient faith.

Oh, and it seems awfully wasteful to start a third Iraq war when we haven’t really finished the second one yet.  So, I guess that’s why we should vote for McCain: he’s old, and having lived through the Great Depression, is probably pretty frugal.  I bet, despite not knowing how many houses he owns, he saves soap slivers and darns his own socks.  I think this should be your talking point for today.

8 Responses to “Yellow Moons, Green Clover, Pink Elephants”

Real men don’t “darn” their socks.
They DAMN them!

Did the P.E.s say anything, anything at all, good about McCain?

Did the P.E.s say anything, anything at all, good about McCain?

Good question, Kathy. This is, in fact, all they said about McCain:

“This Week’s Note From Jo Ann:

While it is important you have the Talking Points about John McCain’s position on the key issues of this campaign – jobs, energy, national security and health care, it is also important that you are aware of the inconsistencies between what Barack Obama says and his record. Here are some key points which should be helpful.”

Translation: “The Republican campaign isn’t about McCain, it’s about Obama. Next week’s talking point: Michelle Obama probably dyes her hair.”

To be honest, the first two didn’t work out that well. But you know what they say, Third War’s the Charm.

Barack Obama’s policy of unconditional withdrawal could result in renewed violence and a third Iraq war.

It could, it really, really could! It could also cause Death Rays From Mars to fire down and destroy the 14 permanent military bases that were the first things built in Iraq by the American military.

And that would be horrible. Horrible!

Barack Obama says he wants energy independence, but he opposes new drilling at home; opposes nuclear power; and opposes encouraging invention of an advanced, affordable electric car.

In fact, Obama wants to restart the buggy whip industry! He wants you to ride in horse drawn carriages! No! Wait! DOGSLEDS! He wants you to ride around in dogsleds!

And…and…the dogs will have frikkin laser beams shooting from their frikkin eyes! And…and…MOM! I WET MY PANTS!

Barack Obama…opposes encouraging invention oftaking the initiative in creating an advanced, affordable electric car.

Fixed.

Barack Obama wants peace, and he aims to achieve that by not going to war? The bastard!!!!

Something to say?