“Email me, will they? Well, I’ll just kill myself! Then they’ll be sorry!”
Today Dr. Mike shares with us the fantasmagorical story of Eight Straight Suicides.
Officials on college campuses across the nation are alarmed at a wave of recent suicides involving Christians who have been harassed by homosexual activists. The main stream media isn’t covering the story so, as usual, I have taken it upon myself to do their jobs for them. None of the following eight cases have been covered by any of the three major news networks.
Probably because, you know, the Christians weren’t actually harassed and they really didn’t commit suicide. But hey, anything for a rhetorical point and a column.
Let’s cut to the most tragic case of all:
Mike was a professor in North Carolina. The director of the local LGBSTQQCCISA (Lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgendered, queer, questioning, completely confused, indecisively-sexed, and allied) Center kept sending him emails promoting LGBSTQQCCISA issues. The director of the LGBSTQQCCISA Center admitted that she did it to provoke him. He felt bullied. So he killed himself.
Finally, a Dr. Mike story with a happy ending and an inspirational moral!
But it was just a joke.
These eight cases are all true except for one thing: The Christians who were bullied by gays and gay activists are all still alive. Not a single one has committed suicide.
Because they are a superior race!
Anyway, kids, the point here is that if you are a college professor who writes hateful things about a group, and then somebody from that group sends you perfectly civil news releases about issues that you disagree with, if you feel provoked, then it should be just as newsworthy as if you were a child or teen who was criminally bullied and publicly shamed until you took your own life. And the fact that the MSM doesn’t treat it as such just proves that liberals control EVERYTHING and they are MEAN and IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!
And yes, of course the natural response to Mike’s cry for attention would be to tell him to go ahead and jump, but since he suffers from some kind of mental disorder (sure, he’s a sociopath, but he also shows signs of narcissim, borderline personality disorder, paranoia, and Dick Head disease), that wouldn’t be very nice. So, we can just hope that his past-due intervention causes him to accept the help he needs so much.
I imagine he’ll respond differently in his next column after I cockpunch him.
What a vicious little shit.
Left by Jay B. on October 15th, 2010