Sadly, No! highlights the embarrassing case of
Arkansas Alaska Republican Don Young, who entered this increasingly famous, wholly fictitious Lincoln quote into the Congressional Record: “Congressmen who willfully take action during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs, and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.”
Well, putting puerile and pedestrian words in the mouth of Abraham Lincoln, perhaps the finest orator to ever occupy the White House, seriously damages my morale, and well as the morale of my G.I. Joe, who is so depressed he’s lost his Kung Fu Grip, so I advise Rep. Young to lawyer up and pack his bags.
Still, inventing quotes and evidence sure makes supporting one’s morally bankrupt arguments a whole lot easier, and I see no reason why some idiotic Congressmen from the
hillbilly moose-infested hinterlands should have all the fun. So I put it to you: What is your favorite made-up Lincoln quote?
I’ll get the ball rolling. During the campaign of 1860, little Grace Bedell wrote to Abraham Lincoln, suggesting that he let his whiskers grow, so as to conceal his sad and homely countenance. Lincoln promptly wrote back: “My Dear Little Miss: Thank you for your kind advice, but I acquired all the beard I’ll ever need when I married Mary Todd.”
Unfortunately, Don Young is from Alaska not Arkansas. I’ve voted against him every time I have had the chance. I would happily give him to Arkansas, though.
Left by Michelle on February 16th, 2007