Oh, I always miss the fun stuff on Sunset when I’m at work!

Speaking of work–tomorrow my class will be going to the Holiday Show at my school, where they will be treated to christmas songs old and new (hopefully NOT “The Christmas Shoes”), including CAROLS which mention angels, wisemen and BABY JESUS!

Next week, the Secret Service will be escorting that right jolly old elf, Santa back onto our playground for his annual pre-Christmas visit. Will the GRINCH be on hand? Or is he safely imprisoned at Gitmo? What kind of danger are my first graders in for?!??!!?

Find out next week!

Left by maryc on December 4th, 2006

We’re being visited by frothing-at-the-mouth, batshit-crazy republicunt-tool so-called “christians”?!??!

GOOD.

FUCK YOU ALL SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW, RECTALLY UNTIL THE BLADE EMERGES FROM YOUR NOSES.

Fuck their fake holiday and their bullshit fake morality and their complete and utter LACK of concern about ANY ACTUAL HUMANS on this planet.

Fuck ‘em all.

(Not me, though, I wouldn’t fuck a christian with a stolen dick.)

How nice for them, that these douchebags don’t have any REAL worries about the world, like FEEDING THE HUNGRY or CLOTHING THE POOR or HOUSING THE HOMELESS.

FUCK. YOU. ALL.

DIE.

FREE UP SOME OXYGEN FOR PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 4th, 2006

That office building door has been officially renamed “The Eye of A Needle” so rich Christians will be able to sleep at night without hacking up their own hypocrisy.

Left by michael on December 5th, 2006

I love how those idiots, the Marley Brothers, are taking credit for stores doing what they would already BE doing whether or not the Marley Boys even EXISTED!!!

That’s right, fuckwads. If you had never been born, Sears, Toys R Us and the rest of your “good stores” would have STILL been using the word “Christmas” in their ads this year! Why?! Because the whole, stupid and FAKE “War On Xmas” thing has enabled the word “Christmas” to become good marketing, and guess what–you assholes didn’t even START the damn thing. It would have occurred whether you existed or not.

There’s your damn dirty “Wonderful Life” moment.

Twerps.

Left by maryc on December 5th, 2006

Wow. May I suggest the Marley brothers (and did anyone actually suggest they were a gay couple, or is the nutjob commenter just projecting?) wrap up their War On Grammar And Spelling before they launch into the War Against The War On Christmas?

I’m especially fond, btw, of the dork who advised us pagans to get our own holiday in March. We did, it’s called Easter, and you twerps stole that one too. Happy holidays, children.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006

Maryc, are we twins or something? I was just off calling them twerps too. They must just give off such a twerpy vibe. I think it’s the leaving-rants-in-comments-of-blog-items- everybody-else-stopped-reading-days-ago thing. Free advice, kids: You have thirty six hours to come up with a relevant or even just witty comment, after that nobody cares even more than they usually don’t.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006

HELP!!!!! I’M BEING PEEEEEERRRRRSECUUUUUTED!!! PEOPLE ARE SAYING “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE HOOOOOOLOOOOCAAAAUUUSST!!!!! MERCYYYYYY!!!! HAVE MERCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
The reverse political corectness movement is here. It is just as obnoxious than what it claims to be fighting. Petty repression breeds petty retaliation, and sanity suffers.
Also, Antichrist S. Coulter needs to loosen up a little.

Left by Oddbert on December 5th, 2006

Also, Antichrist S. Coulter needs to loosen up a little.

Really? She seems fine to me.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006

Maryc, are we twins or something? I was just off calling them twerps too

Hey! We’re the WonderTwins! WonderTwin Power, ACTIVATE!

Left by maryc on December 5th, 2006

You know, I visited the the Marleys’ website, and I DID learn something new that changes how I think about them and their crusade.

Some may not have noticed the surreptitious and skullduggerous attack that is being perpetrated against Christians and our most cherished Holiday, Christmas.

Obviously, Bob is mocking Bill O’Reilly, John Gibson, et. al. by claiming that people might have failed to notice their whole War on Christmas shtick.

But more importantly, I’ve always believed that we Christians cherish Easter a little more than Christmas, since it celebrates the atonement and resurrection of Christ, which is the basis of our whole religion. So, I’m forced to conclude that the Marleys aren’t actually Christians who are figting for a religious principle, but really just some guys hired by rival department stores and malls to stir up trouble for the competition. What a phony war this is turning out to be!

Left by s.z. on December 5th, 2006

skullduggerous? ah, English as she is spoke!

Left by Tehanu on December 5th, 2006

These poor poor persecuted construction workers write:

“The site is world o’crap. Their not kidding”

But they never go on to explain anything about your kidding, or not kidding. It’s a tease. I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t mean “they’re”, because that would be anti-scholarly, and I hate to think they are not serious about their scholorship.

I live in Bumhump Maryland and wrote a little column for the biggest rag hereabouts, and they published it. I’m not kidding. It’s right up this blind and decrepit alley.

Left by B8ovin on December 5th, 2006

Uhm…meant to include web site for article.
http://www.stmarystoday.com

/is_christmas_really_under_attack.htm

Left by B8ovin on December 5th, 2006

Santa is an elf? Goodness. He should have gone easy on that bread Galadriel cooked up.

Left by Serge on December 5th, 2006

So according to Bob Marley, the forces of “Corporate America and the leaders of our Cities and Towns wants [nice grammar, Bob]to align with” S.Z and Scott and some guy named Austin Clarke who is “a digital design professional who works in photo editing, Web site design, and computer graphic design.”

While I can’t comment on Mr. Clarke who seems to be a fine web designer and a good God-fearing atheist, we should only live so long to see Corporate America taking its cues from World-O-Crap (now that would be one hell of a present to find under my green pre-lit flame retardant poly ethylene “tree” which I won’t take down until sometime in March). Such a suggestion, though, does answer one question about which Mr. Marley Bob is:

“BOB MARLEY was stoned and dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was
signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker,and the chief mourner. And the other Wailers could attest to the quality of his weed. Scrooge smoked it: and Scrooge’s name was good upon ‘the Web,’ for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. And stoned to shit.

Left by tomg on December 5th, 2006

Dammit, I was all set to say, “Will the last wingnut to make the ‘World-o-Crap??? You sure got that right!!!!!’ joke please turn off the lights when he leaves?” when you beat me to it, Scott. Which is only right, I guess.

So, I’ll just note how chortle-inducing it is that the boys’ fetish object, confirmed-bachelor “Jesus Christ”, is what normal, rational, competent English speakers say when their vehicles won’t start, the furnace stops supplying heat, or that tall, cool glass of milk they’ve been longing for turns out to be homebrewed refrigerator yogurt.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 5th, 2006

In Terry Pratchett’s book “Masquerade”, the people investigating the crimes of the Phantom of the Ankh-Morpork Opera House know he is insane because he finishes his sentences with five exclamation points. Throughout the book, the closer a character comes to being crazy, the more exclamation points they use to punctuate their sentences. I can’t see why the same rule can’t be applied to question marks.

Left by Johnny M on December 5th, 2006

The War on Christmas is a joke. How can atheists and secularists compete with maniacal wing nuts who are well-funded by crappy Chinese products sold at Wal*Mart?

Left by Matt-Man on December 5th, 2006

B8ovin,

You wrote something for the Examiner?

Left by a cranny mint on December 5th, 2006

Anntichrist: You didn’t use enough !!! or any ???? No random “scare” quotes, either!!!!

Left by Kathy on December 5th, 2006

Well at least we know where the entire group of lefties hangout spewing their vial venom. Why is it that when you can’t have your way, you all behave like 2 year olds; although, I must say that the site is a change from the normal rhetoric; some here can articulate the F-Bomb pretty well; that must take a lot of effort. Just a heads up, children read this garbage. You may want to consider that before you go on a hate-filled diatribe about absolutely nothing. You guys have to get over this petty jealousy, it is a national holiday and its OK to say Merry Christmas.
With that said Merry Christmas, and may God Bless and cradle all of you in the palm of his hand.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Speaking of cherished Yuletide traditions, doesn’t it seem like there’s a lot less wassailing these days than there used to be? I blame the radical secularist-Big Retail nexus, and George Soros.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

Scott, s.z., think of the children and keep your venom in its proper vial!

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

This damn war on christmas is one of those dificult things for me, like which way to turn a screw or how to talk to hot chix. I always have to stop and think about it: “OK, if I say “Merry Christmas” that means that I’m secular,umm, no, ok it’s like this, if I say Happy Holidays I’m anti semitic, no wait, if I say “Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer” I’m saying the president’s a drunk – Dammit! I can’t keep it straight…”

mikey

Left by mikey on December 5th, 2006

Children read this? Oh my… Think of all the young minds who’ve been corrupted by your reviews of the Batman serial. Which reminds me that it’s been quite some time since the last installment.

Left by Serge on December 5th, 2006

Just a heads up, children read this garbage.

Children read political snark? None of the children I know do. It’s got no pics…

mikey

Left by mikey on December 5th, 2006

Maybe he meant, “Just a heads-up, children: read this garbage.”

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

Also why should it bother you if we want Christmas restored to the public? I would honestly like a civil answer. No crazy ramblings, just the truth. We have asked so many people what is so offensive about Christmas? No one tells the truth, everyone dodges the question and gives some off-handed reason. I’d respect someone a lot more if they just said, yes I’m jealous that your holiday is the prominent one in December, that I could appreciate. Then I would be able to console them by making them understand that jealousy and hatred is the real root of all evil, not Christmas. I hope I can get a civil response, especially whereas I have broken the golden rule.
You know that rule, how to talk to a liberal, you don’t.

Again Merry Christmas

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

I’d respect someone a lot more if they just said, yes I’m jealous that your holiday is the prominent one in December, that I could appreciate

I can’t tell you how deeply I crave your respect.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

See , just can’t get a normal response.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Let me just say one more thing then, as some have noticed I have linked this site to ours in order that the people out there will know that there are people like you out there.
Lets not say I didn’t try.

Merry Christmas

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

I don’t know anyone who finds Christmas “offensive.” Certainly, many people recognize it as a commercialized charade and the public flogging of a preposterous mythology, but…offensive?

I have yet to hear of someone flying into a rage because someone wished them “Merry Christmas.” But we now have campaigns encouraging morons to poop their pants publicly if someone tells them to have “Happy Holidays.”

I say: if they want war, give them war. They’re rightwingers: they won’t last a minute in a real fight. I’m going to start crucifying Christmas trees upside down, planting “peace sign” wreaths all over down, and I just send the White House a “document” showing that there are huge oil reserves under the North Pole.

Happy Holidays, fools.

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

Why is it that when you can’t have your way, you all behave like 2 year olds

Store clerks don’t say “Merry Christmas” when you want them to, you throw a tantrum, and *someone else* is behaving like a 2-year-old?

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

‘Scuse me, that’s “all over TOWN,” and “I just SENT the White House…” Sorry, I must be sampling the spiked eggnog I’m going to serve the children…BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Happy Halloween!

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

Happenstance, I thought that was part of group, save the Caribou, while our young men and woman die in Iraq

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

I personally don’t care if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas or not. What pisses me of is that employees are threatened with their jobs if they say it. As usual you miss the point.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Uh…wow. I guess TCG is sampling his own “eggnog” as well. That didn’t make a lick of sense.

However, thanks for acknowledging that while you’re supporting The War On The War On Christmas from your keyboard, real Amercian men and women continue to die for one of the Right Wing’s OTHER major moments of idiocy. Very sporting of you.

Think I’ma buy a few of these:

http://www.cafepress.com/tomsworld/2167761

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

That is exactly why we have taken a stand, while the world and this country is in constant turmoil, your ilk, continues to erode the fabric of this country.
Clearly I am wasting my time here, so this will be my last visit, nice not chatting with you.

Merry Christmas

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Ah, yes: Wal-Mart telling employees to say “Happy Holidays” in order to be inclusive of shoppers who aren’t Christian, when strained through the Right Wing Hysterical Asshole Filter, equals “threatened with their jobs if they say it.” I’m surprised you didn’t explode into all-caps and multiple exclamation points as you pointed to a multi-source conspiracy. Congratulations on your self-control.

Happy Hanukkah!

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

Aw id baby gonna wun away maaaaaad?

But then who will stop me from further eroding the fabric of this country? (snort)

Ave Dasani!*

(*I wrote to Coca-Cola suggesting this awesome commercial, but all they sent me back was a restraining order.)

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

You also must be ok with the muslim prayer rooms at the airports, that Ellison won’t take his oath on the bible, that other moron that called for the elimination of all white people on the planet. You are a real credit to the country. Some asshole called for the murder of the entire white race, and you want to rant and rave about Christmas.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Some asshole called for the murder of the entire white race, and you want to rant and rave about Christmas.

Ah, so when the Marleys issue demands for a White Christmas…

Gotcha. Duly noted.

Left by scott on December 5th, 2006

“You also must be ok with the muslim prayer rooms at the airports, that Ellison won’t take his oath on the bible,”

Yes. Yes I am. However, you remain packed completely full of shit:

For starters, the oath you’re referring doesn’t require a Bible or religious text of any sort. That’s just one more bit of much-ado-about-nothing in the phony “war on Christianity” to keep idiots like you distracted. (Google it, fool.) Second, I work for United at one of America’s largest airports, and it has a meditation room–nothing more. (I like how you cite all these things without reference.)

But then you fly completely off the handle, bringing up some totally unrelated nonsense:

“Some asshole called for the murder of the entire white race, and you want to rant and rave about Christmas.”

TCG, you’re the one parking here screaming about Christmas. Do you not understand that? And what the hell do the mewlings of “some asshole” have to do with Christmas or the “War On” it?

You were doing better when you ran off crying and sobbing that you weren’t coming back ever (right before you came back). Every time you reply, you’re making a bigger and bigger fool of yourself. (Don’t stop on MY account, though.)

Happy Kwanzaa!

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

Lessee:

1) Came into comments section of partisan political blog and expressed surprise that commenters were partisan and not particularly civil. Check.

2) Began responding to every single post shortly thereafter. Check.

3) Then announced absolute, final departure due to incivility/refusal of regular posters to reverse their opinions. Check.

4) Returned two minutes after absolute, final departure. Check.

Dude, you forgot to tell us you “used to be a Liberal.” Plus, it’s clear the RNC stopped paying for the routine in early 2005. Good money to be had at your local Army recruiter’s, though, white boy.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 5th, 2006

can anybody lend me a very small funnel? i’m having a terrible time pouring my vile venom into my venom vials, and its getting all over my hands and the kitchen table and everything, and i don’t want the cats to get in to it.

Left by Dalton Periphery on December 5th, 2006

Dear Christmas Guys,

Even though you said you weren’t coming here to play anymore ( something to do with Happenstance buying a pack of Tom Tomorrow’s cards), I know you can resist, so here’s my two cents.

First, while there is quite a bit of snark, there is very little,if any, hate. Amusement at your suggestion that America’s Corporate leaders are in league with Scott and S.Z. to destory Christmas. Bemused at your sense of persecution. Chortling at your convoluted and confused logic. Well, I can go on, but under H – sorry, but it’s humor, not hate.

As far as I am concerned,it’s not the celebration of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwawnzaa that is the issue. I absolutely love the holiday seasons. I even love the War of Christmas. You can’t imagine how much joy you have given to me. Where I find you a bit odd is in how over the top you characters are about how “we” are about to destroy America ( your values, Christmas itself, Santa Claus – actually I am not sure just what it is that you think we are destroying). Seriously, at times you seem to meld preceived slights against Christ, Yule logs, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” and green and red paper plates into a strange conspiracy lead by the ACLU, and composed of the entire population of San Francisco. And it is all directed at you Culture Warriors. Tonight I am going to my son’s middle school Holiday Concert where I will joyously listen to the most wonderfully out-of-tune, off-key versions of “The Little Drummer Boy,” “The Dreidel Song” and “Happy Holidays.” We are all going to get together as a community over the next few weeks to go to tree lightings, to visit with friends, to wish each other Seasons Greetings, Joy to the World, Peace on Earth, (as a Patriot Act Free Zone, we really emphasize the Peace on Earth part). It’s a great season. You guys should really try enjoying it, instead of worrying about whether a group of underpaid and medical benefit-less Wal-Mart Workers uphold your particular variant on the season. For me, the more diverse it is, the more joyous it is, and the better it is.

Left by tomg on December 5th, 2006

I was going to leave but I see the anger mounting, and I thought I could catch a little more dribble in my dribble cup.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

oh, Annti- is Boy back yet? Please tell us he got home safe, we’re worried for you, darlin’.
our Shadow was gone for three days once, in mid-winter here in Maryland, and when he returned he had a torn ligament that cost him another three days in the hospital and months of hobbling, and us a thousand dollars we couldn’t well afford- but he came home.
Luck be with you, dearheart.

Left by Dalton Periphery on December 5th, 2006

I know for myself, when I’m dropping $500 on Xbox games and Limp Bizkit CDs and golf clubs to commemmorate the birth of MY Savior, I get pissed if the clerk doesn’t acknowledge the sacredness and the majesty of my highest holy day.

Left by michael on December 5th, 2006

Tomg, I can appreciate your point of view, however, I disagree, when other people across the globe declare a utopia, then and only then will I be all embracing, until such time there is only peace where there is peace.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Now I really have to go it was nice chatting folks, I just want to leave a little poem for you guys.

Christmas Lost???

Twas the month before Christmas
And throughout our land,
Not a Christian was seen caring
Nor taking a stand.
Cuz the “Politically Correct Police” had taken away,
The reason for Christmas – which we could no longer say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and
Wise Men and Angels and things.
“It might hurt people’s feelings”, the teachers would say December 25th is
just another Holiday!

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folk down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!

As Targets hung their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas – could nowhere be found.
At K-Mart and CVS and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are the “correct” words that are used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen On Boxer, on Rather,
on Kerry, on Clinton,!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter To eliminate Jesus,
in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith,
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift Of The Child was exchanged and discarded The reason for
the season… stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under “your Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say, SHOUT AND SING MERRY
CHRISTMAS!…
And remember, “your tree” is a CHRISTMAS tree!!!

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

Wait, BobChristmasGuy said,“Just a heads up, children read this garbage”? But over at his site he wrote this about World o’ Crap:
You have to read the rants from the children on this site. The’re getting crazier by the minute.

So, if the children are WRITING this stuff, why should I be worried that they’re also reading it?

Left by s.z. on December 5th, 2006

“when other people across the globe declare a utopia, then and only then will I be all embracing, until such time there is only peace where there is peace.”

Translation from Boob to English: “I’ll turn the other cheek when everyone else is Christian. Until then, yer all out ta git me!”

Meh. I don’t care if you’re ever “all-embracing” (with you yo-yos, it’s always all-or-nothing); but you’d be doing yourself a favor if you’d pull your head out of your ass, knock off the hysterics, and check the occasional fact before blasting off on another keyboard-war adventure.

Happy Fornicating!

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

I was going to leave but I see the anger mounting, and I thought I could catch a little more dribble in my dribble cup

Don’t you mean “vial”?

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 5th, 2006

I’d really like them to point out the verse in the New Testament where elves won the no-bid contract to supply birthday party services to the Messiah

It was in the Gospel According To Macy’s, Chapter One, verse 83….right after the Blessed Miracle On 34th Street

Left by actor212 on December 5th, 2006

Also why should it bother you if we want Christmas restored to the public?

Left by The Christmas Guy

When was it taken?

Seriously. When did the networks STOP showing A Charlie Brown Christmas in favor of Omar’s Eid-ul-Fitr? Or Moishe’s Hannukah?

When?

When did Sears stop showing Christmas trees and Santas?

When?

Why is it so wrong to include the other small percentage of the country who also celebrate a holiday this time of year? If your sister married a Jew or a Muslim, or a black (I know, shuddering in your hood, aintcha?), you’d go out of your way to be polite and do SOMETHING inclusive, wouldn’t you?

So lemme ask you something: when did America stop being a family?

Left by actor212 on December 5th, 2006

You also must be ok with the muslim prayer rooms at the airports, that Ellison won’t take his oath on the bible

Left by The Christmas Guys

Were you OK that Lieberman didn’t? He took it on the Torah, and if you’re going to be technical, that’s less a Bible than the Koran, which includes an awful lot of Jesus’ teachings in it.

Or hadn’t you read the thing before you decided it was some sacreligious text?

Left by actor212 on December 5th, 2006

What happened to my smiley santa?
I worked hard on him, and was hoping for suggestions about a beard. Currently he looks like -um- ?? *

Left by Kathy on December 5th, 2006

Skullduggery…
Bahumbuggery…
Mindless thuggery…
I feel a limerick coming on.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 5th, 2006

Well this was really fun, however, it is time to fight the war on Christmas. I’ll see you guy in the winners circle. Farewell to the mindless, the ludicrous, and the ridiculous. I’ll give Bill, Sean, Anne, John and all the wonderful people at Fox News your regards. Oh and by the way we were on Fox & Friends yesterday morning @ 7:20, I believe I gave you guys Kudos.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006

I was going to leave but I see the anger mounting, and I thought I could catch a little more dribble in my dribble cup.

Oh? So what explains your attraction to that sort of thing, Philistine? Or your pride in that little twaddle cup you carry around? Why do the heathen rage, boyo? Whatever gave you the idea that your puny half-literacies can accomplish what God doesn’t? Need help with that log? A lift to the recruitment office?

Your hostess, by the way, is, on her worst day, ten times the Christian you’ll ever be. Not that you’d have bothered to check first, of course.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 5th, 2006

I simply find it amazing at how much imagery related to war, combat, battle, etc. is applied to a day that was supposed to celebrate peace, hope, and love. Granted, I gave up on Christanity over 10 years ago, but I seem to remember that being the primary tenet of Jesus’ words. Then again, what do I know?

Left by Johnny M on December 5th, 2006

Wait, I have more questions! How is it that Joseph, a Galilean, was answering a Roman census when Galilee wasn’t under Roman rule? Why was he carting his pregnant girlfriend along when she (being female) was little more than chattel? If I ask the greeter at Wal*Mart do you think she’ll know?

Besides, the over/under on ‘Replies after departure’ is 13.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 5th, 2006

Go with that, Herr Doktor.

Once again, we don’t care if you say Merry Christmas to everyone you meet in every circumstance, starting about November 1. Seriously. Don’t give the faintest damn. Enjoy yourselves.

Many of the rest of us, though, have other greetings we prefer, either because we don’t celebrate Christmas, or because it’s, you know, November, or because we know the person we’re addressing doesn’t celebrate Christmas. How is “Happy Holidays” offensive, anyway? Christmas is a holiday. So’s Thanksgiving and New Year’s, which I understand you guys also recognize.

If you guys hang around till the end of the month, you’ll probably see us all wishing each other a Merry Christmas here in the comments, as well as a Happy Hannukah, a Happy Kwanzaa, a Happy Yule, a Happy Cephalopodmas, a Happy New Year, and anything else we can think of. We’re like that.

Personally, what I find particularly ignorant and pathetic is the “Please, just give us back our holiday” comment. Because I want to destroy Christmas? Not really. Mostly because I know who you stole your holiday from in the first place, and did it so comprehensively that you don’t even have to know it happened, nor does the culture–which is to a large extent your culture–accept that anyone else has a right to the season.

If you’d like to consider that jealousy, okay. But it’s jealousy in the same way that I’d be jealous if your family took my family’s land and then started bitching a hundred years later that an endangered species was found on it and no fair, you can’t build a mall there now, someone’s stolen your property! By which I mean, you know, not at all.

Seriously, why is it in any way offensive to make room in your now-three-months-long season for the rest of the world? Do you really think wishing us Merry Christmas for two months and making us do the same to you under threat of boycott and petulant newspaper column is going to convert anyone?

And if you don’t like the rest of us screwing up your holiday, shouldn’t you be making sure you only wish Merry Christmas to other Christians? Personally, I don’t invite people into my home and then insist they spend the evening on the floormat in the front hall. Why? Because it’s not my home? Because I like mud on my carpets? No, just because it’s rude. If I think someone’s going to steal the flatware, I don’t invite them in.

Children are rude to their friends. Children don’t share. Children insist everything must be about them. Children take their ball and go home when the game doesn’t go their way. Children try to control everything around them. Children demand people say the magic words to them. Children assume everyone thinks as they do and wants what they do. Children think the decorations and the presents are the point.

Adults, on the other hand, share. They are civil to people who are different from them and who don’t agree with them. Adults try to make sure no one is left out. Adults know that sometimes they will not get their way, and do not refuse to participate because of it. Adults know the thought is more important than the present. Adults know that tradition and custom are not more important than people.

So, it seems pretty clear who the children are.

Incidentally, would any of you like to address our blogger’s comment that Easter, not Christmas, is the most important holiday on the Christian calendar? Because that seems like an excellent point, and one that is overlooked in the whole War On Christmas hype.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 5th, 2006

Sweet Graham cracker, TCG has come back once again to announce that he’s leaving and never coming back. He’ll probably be back before I finish typing this. Has anyone ever done an actual study on the brain dysfunctions and dependencies of attention whores? ‘Cause now I’m curious.

FOX News? Well, that explains a great deal right there, doesn’t it?

“I’ll see you guy in the winners circle.”

Grammar quibbles aside, that’s typical neocon-bootlickism. It’s even easier to declare victory in a war that doesn’t exist than a real one; all you have to do is fend off the nonexistent Evil Ones until January 2nd or so and start crowing. Oh, but watch out for next year!

You should make yourself a “Mission Accomplished” banner to stand under with a sock stuffed in your pants. (No, in FRONT, moron.)

Oh dear, I’m bringing up Iraq again. TCG kinda dropped that whole “real war” thing and reverted back to his fantasy “war on Christmas” a few posts ago. Shame on me for once again exposing his idiocy and hypocrisy.

Left by Happenstance on December 5th, 2006

Corporations, pseudo-religion and gov’t are merely quid-pro-quo whorehouses sold to the highest bidder. When the gov’t needs illegal wire-taps, Verizon and Sprint allow them secret rooms to listen in on calls. When Haliburton (and KBR) need more revenue, the gov’t hands out no-bid contracts. When the gov’t dislikes literature, Amazon and Wikipedia ban the book “America Deceived”. When corporations need more profits, they pump Christmas out earlier and earlier. We lost our gov’t, lost our people and lost our soul.
Final link (before Google Books caves to pressure and drops the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0

Left by Paul on December 5th, 2006

You know what the saddest thing to me about this whole War on Christmas nonsense? There’s all these good, moral Christians wasting all this time, energy and money on nothing when they could be directing that good will into doing things like feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, and hey, maybe even ensuring that economically disadvantaged children can enjoy the season to the fullest. Doesn’t that seem like a better use of one’s time?

Call me cynical, but I really don’t see the Christmas soldiers doing much of that. There’s too much vitirol, too much anger, too much pride. Just look at TCG’s comments. “I’ll see you guy in the winners circle.” Ugh. That’s just loathesome, and I’m supposed to believe you have the moral high-ground.

Show some dignity, at least.

Left by Matt T. on December 5th, 2006

Christmas guys,

If Faith crumbles under the words “Happy Holidays”, Faith needs to get a backbone.

Besides Antichrist Coulter’s bizarre rant, most of what is going on on this little blog is not the mocking of Christians who care about this stuff but rather the mocking of anyone, left or right, who cares about this stuff. We are sick of everyone’s delusions of persecution. We are using humor to bring the ceaselessly grim and humorless down off their high horses a bit. Conservatives made the same jokes about political correctness, and they were right.

Lastly, I would like to propose a New Rule for the comments section: No poetry.

Left by Oddbert on December 5th, 2006

Lastly, I would like to propose a New Rule for the comments section: No poetry.

Why? No one’s posted any yet.

Left by scott on December 5th, 2006

Oddbert,

Anntichrist’s rant is much less bizarre if you know that she and her “evil, Christmas hating cohorts” have spent the past year travelling back and forth to New Orleans to bring aid to Katrina refugees, gut destroyed homes, and rebuild broken lives and the past several weeks trying to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to help a cancer victim without medical insurance get a life-or-death operation.

Meanwhile, The Christmas Warriors dedicate all their time and effort drumming up support, donations, and media time for a meaningless publicity stunt propped up by rumors and lies and bigotry…and they get to lay claim to “the real spirit of Christmas”?

Yeah, I’m siding with Annti on this one.

Fuck the Christmas Warriors.
Fuck them and their whining anntention-getting antics.
Christmas belongs to the people who actually show love to their fellow men, who feed the hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless, comfort the sick and sad-hearted.
Who the fuck cares if Wal-Mart “honors Christmas” when people are dying? What difference does it make if your child has red and green napkins at a party when other children in the same city go hungry?
Do you honestly think Jesus would care?
And if he did, why the hell would you worship him?

Left by Dorothy on December 5th, 2006

*applause*

Dorothy, I could not agree more. The Christmas Warriors who skip in here and whine that we can’t know anything about God or Christmas are an insult to the people here who I’ve watched donate time and money to all sorts of causes, often on the basis of only a few paragraphs from someone they’ve never met. And when these sorts of comments come from people who clearly believe that it’s more important to have people saying the right things than doing the right things, the contrast couldn’t be more marked.

Jesus told a story, as I recall, about a man with two sons whom he asked to work in the vineyard. One refused, but later felt bad and did it anyway. The other agreed, but never did. Possibly you learned this in a Sunday School class somewhere along the way, but the lesson, you might remember, is that it is more important what you do than what you say.

By which definition, many here must be far more pleasing to a god some of them don’t even believe in than the Christmas Warriors who worry more about what’s on an ad than who’s in a shelter. It’s a category that absolutely includes Anntichrist Coulter, however put off you may be by her chosen nick or her way of speaking, and I’m delighted to count myself among her friends.

Also, I like limericks.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 6th, 2006

Woot (monsieur Marley should learn to use his interrobangs–that way, je can wedge twice the question marks and exclamation points into the same space )‽
In using that tired “WO’C indeedy, ‘cos crap it IS!!1!1!,” I feel somewhat personally insulted by the delightfully-named Bob Marley, and you all know what that means…
Kisses for everyone!

Um, no, not that kind of kisses. The chocolate type!
I had some left over from Halloween.

The little bagettes are getting dusty, so I want to be rid of ‘em.

.

.

.

Oops. All this nervous energy had to have some outlet–I just ate the last one. Offer rescinded.
And I’m still not offering M. Marley the other kind of kisses. Feh.

Left by Marq on December 6th, 2006

“[...]it is a national holiday and its OK to say Merry Christmas.”
“[...]Left by The Christmas Guys on December 5th, 2006″

OK, I know you “Christian”-types aren’t very detail-oriented (I mean, how could you not notice the self-contridictions in the Bible? Heck, even the varying numbers and names of the disciples in the various gospels doesn’t seem to bother you much). But a word to the “wise:” it isn’t Christmas yet. When you start shouting, “Merry Christmas” the day after Thanksgiving, or worse-yet, Halloween, you sound like someone who has suffered significant cranial trauma, or to put it in a less P.C. way, a retard.
Save the “Merry Christmas” for December 24th and 25th.
Otherwise, stick to “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings” or suchlike. Thanx!

Left by Marq on December 6th, 2006

Dalton, darlin’, the heathen child was found, cradled not in a manger but in the crotch of a tree, 20 feet off of the ground, cold, skeered shitless, mute, but alive nonetheless. Thank you all so much for caring about my wayward Boy.

A major Amen! to everything that Doghouse said about our wonderous hostess here, ’cause she does more for other people and critters in one day than these pompous posturing pieces of pudendum pustulence (afterbirth with legs) have ever accomplished in their entire wasted lives.

Dorothy & D., my darlings, I could not even begin to properly express appropriate thanks for your having my back when we are assaulted by guys who would prolly prefer to attack, say, Karl Rove’s “back,” if they had the opportunity (’cause face it, they’d never be good enough for our Marq or Bill S. or any of our guys, who are WAY too good for such lowlife pud-pullin’ sticky-keyboard “warriors.”).

I cannot possibly accomplish all that S.Z. does on a daily basis, but I do try, when I can. And I betcha that the trolls ’round here didn’t flinch even the TINIEST bit when the world learned that Pat Robertson had stolen not only from Katrina victims, for his OWN enrichment, but also from STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA, so that he could prop-up his FAILING GOLD AND DIAMOND MINES.

I betcha it didn’t even make a dent in their solid-concrete noggins, ’cause THAT’S EXACTLY THE KIND OF “christians” THAT THEY ARE.

All talk, no walk. All P.R., no action. All mouth, no good deeds, not even the tiniest drop of compassion for another human being, whether they’re being murdered in Iraq by the so-called “president” that these SCHMUCKS “elected” or starving/freezing to death on the streets of this country.

Camels, needles, you get the gist. It’ll be a sub-zero day in hell before these cocksucking phonies ever lift one bulbous FINGER to “live” the christianity that they TALK.

Oh, and Marq, if, indeed, xmas ever did actually happen, it was more likely in the early fall. I don’t have the links/refs at hand at the moment, but in the original Hebrew & Greek, etc., xmas was not set on the day of the year when retailers need that last big push before tax time.

I know that there are people out there who really believe, who really try to be like this Jesus guy, and they have my sympathy, but then, they’ve let moron fucktards like THESE douchebags hijack their religion, so maybe they are accomplices by inaction. I’m not saying it for sure, but if I belonged to a particular belief system and/or cult, and people were making MY entire life basis look like FLAMING PILES OF HORSESHIT, I’d stand up and say something TO those motherfuckers and let them know that the Sit the fuck DOWN and shut the fuck UP light is ON!

Just a thought.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 6th, 2006

Now, now antichrist, rest your neck, before you you hurt yourself.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

I believe my visit today will keep you fired up for awhile.

Merry Christmas Anti-Christ

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

One more thing, I see a lot of rage over a simple cause like saving Christmas, however, where is your sanctimonious rage when a black muslim stands up in America and calls for the extermination of the white race, globally I might add with out consequence. It is the arrogant ramblings of your ilk that creates a forum for such audacity. You will be the undoing of us all.

Merry Merry Merry Christmas

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

Let me say this here as well, we like to plagiarize, we don’t have to be to analytical of you guys because you have a category all your own. Therefore, with our busy schedule, it allows us to give homage to those wise people, and allows us to reiterate quickly, what is already known but might have been forgotten. Now this just wasted 2 minutes of my valuable time.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

goddamn, haven’t you left for good about 100 times?

Left by merlallen on December 6th, 2006

I like it here, you guys have made a new friend. This is tantalizing for a lot of people merlallen. I keep egging you guys on and the world gets a clearer picture of what you are truely like. You guys should not pick on little kids. You should be ashamed of yourselves, however, I think the word ashamed is lost here.

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

Mr. Christmas Guy Person:

The rage you think you see is due to you and your kind’s insistence on being blissfully ignorant and wholly hypocritical. If you truly believe in what you’re attempting to preach at us, then please, for the love of all you profess to hold true, take the time, energy and money you’re wasting on this fake “war” and put it to actual good use.

There are human beings without homes, food, water, heat, health care and basic sustenance — right here, right now — in America. Actually, throughout the world. But, you can start here in America. Maybe your goodwill would spread to the outer reaches of what you deem the more heathen portions of our world a wee bit better if you lived what you pretend to believe.

Walk the talk. Quit being a pompous ass. Learn some humility. Then maybe, just maybe, you can come almost close to being as decent and compassionate a human being as s.z. or Annti or scott or any other person on this post you’ve insulted with your false greetings and blessings.

Christmas and Christianity don’t need saving. Christmas, like *real* faith, can’t be touched, hurt, threatened or destroyed.

Peace be with you.

Left by CLD on December 6th, 2006

Shorter The Christmas Guys:

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Left by Karl Rove II on December 6th, 2006

Hey dog-breath, that remark will get you disenfranchised from the human race. But what can you expect from a nitwit right, that just demonstrates further how vial the left really is.
And this is exactly why we cannot converse with you and your ilk. I hope you forever piss into the wind and always whittle toward yourself.

Merry Christmas Roving idiot

Left by The Christmas Guys on December 6th, 2006

“And this is exactly why we cannot converse with you and your ilk.”

..and yet YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE!

What a couple of self-obsessed masochists you are (snicker).

Left by Karl Rove II on December 7th, 2006

what can you expect from a nitwit right

Hey, we have something in common after all! I’ve also been wondering what next to expect from the nitwit right.

Left by FlipYrWhig on December 7th, 2006

Because nothing says “Merry Christmas, let’s celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace” better than a name-calling, clumsy thinly-veiled threats, and braggadocio.

Left by tigrismus on December 7th, 2006