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« Post-Friday Beast Blogging: The Diet Pepsi and Disdain Edition
Tony Perkins: Let’s Push That Wall of Separation Onto The Homos, Shall We? »

Mormons Are Versatile

Sure, they ferry other Mormons to Disneyland in muti-passenger stretch vans, but they do so much more…

Van4.jpg

They shoot you with paint pellets. And keep your sealed containers of crisis seeds and irradiated survivalist MREs in a cool, dry place. And teach you to play the violin and form a band. Or maybe they store your violin (probably in the pantry, or vegetable crisper); or shoot your band with splatballs — that part of the manifesto is a little vague..

The important thing is, they do all this while reminding you that family — even your crappy family — still matters.

(h/t to PJ)

Posted by scott on Monday, May 31st, 2010 at 11:05 am.

11 Responses to “Mormons Are Versatile”

Yet nothing to protect against shitty vampire fiction. Odd.

Left by Marquee Mark on May 31st, 2010

Fascinating. Just fascinating.

A reverse phone lookup and a little extra sleuthing later, and voila–

Shane Sullivan operates the “Four Strings Violin Shop” in St George, and diversification being the key to succeeding in business (McNulty here– now you think about that, now!*), also runs a mail order business supplying food storage containers and ready made “survival kits”, seeds, camo gear, and of course, paintball guns and supplies– everything for the budding crazy-ass survivalist.

Did you snap this photo yourself, Scott? Where at?

*Twilight Zone ref, .

Left by Chris Vosburg on May 31st, 2010

My friend PJ snapped it at Disneyland.

Left by scott on May 31st, 2010

I must be missing something here. How do you know they’re Mormons? Where’s Mitt Romney’s dog strapped to the roof?
Gail Collins will be very upset.

Left by luminous muse on May 31st, 2010

And they do it in a natural gas fired vehicle! How ecologically correct of them!

Left by Sean Peters on May 31st, 2010

I have always wanted a friend named PJ. Guess I should get a kitty and name it PJ. I know a dog named BJ, but I don’t think I’d have named him that myself.

Mormons is unusual, for certain, but when the big ungodly freakin rumpus goes down, there are worse places to be than Salt Lake City. They has organizational skills.

Left by Larkspur on May 31st, 2010

Well, I guess that’s it then– I give up, the end times are upon us, obviously, if Mickey and Goofy are stocking up on the goods needed to bunker down for the duration.

I thought I’d have more time before this, to do the things I always wanted to do, baawwwwww.

Left by Chris Vosburg on May 31st, 2010

Avenge me, Dopey! AVENGE ME!

Left by Chris Vosburg on May 31st, 2010

Do Mormons believe in The Rapture? Because that would be a totally awesome day to visit Disneyland — I bet the lines for the Matterhorn or even Space Mountain would be pretty reasonable, even without a Fast Pass.

Left by scott on May 31st, 2010

I last visited Disneyland in 1969. I was 14, longhaired, and wearing jeans with a hole at the knee. In accordance with Disney policy in effect at the time, I was turned away at the gate for failing to meet the Magic Kingdom’s dress code, and resolved never to return.

Come the Rapture, I might make an exception, if only to watch the righteous flames of a wrathful God engulf the Happiest Place on Earth to the ever-repeated refrain of “It’s A Small World After All.”

Left by Chris Vosburg on June 1st, 2010

Do Mormons believe in The Rapture?

Sadly, No!

But they do believe in The Rupture, which means you should invest now in my brand new truss shop in the Main Street arcade.

Left by actor212 on June 1st, 2010

Something to say?