First, I want to thank everyone for the birthday greetings, kind thoughts, and well wishes. You people are the greatest! And I wish to extend special thanks to Scott for keeping the place running, for the lovely birthday tribute, and for forging the note excusing my absence. I know I speak for Spike TV’s targeted demographic group when I say that Scott is a very talented guy. And a good friend. Oh, and a big Wo’C bushel of thanks and wingnuts to Anntichrist Coulter for the lovely Social Security-related birthday card and for the movies, which look great And by “great,” I mean, “really crappy, but in a an amusingly mockable way.”)
Seriously, it’s been a trying fortnight, and I want to thank you all for your forbearance. Later I might share with you some amusing complaints and whining about my experiences, but only if I can’t think of anything better to write about. For although I have spent some days (not quite 40, but enough) in the wilderness, I really don’t have any hard-won wisdom to impart.
Well, I guess I could tell you cautionary tales about war, pestilence, power failures, a kitten with explosive diarrhea, and a puppy who ate the vacuum cleaner cord, but you probably already know that war is hell, pestilence is icky, power failures are a pain, and kittens and puppies are evil, EEEEVIL!
So, instead, here are some bits o’ wisdom I culled from the Internet. First, here’s the story of the building that symbolizes U.S. stabilizing efforts in Iraq:
A special inspector general said Thursday that he planned to review all of the Iraq building projects overseen by Pasadena’s Parsons Corp. in the wake of severe plumbing problems that have surfaced at Baghdad’s new police academy […], a $75-million project that is considered to be a symbol of U.S. efforts to help reestablish peace and security in Iraq.
[An audit] found that inferior plumbing techniques, methods and materials were causing a continual spread of water and human waste throughout the three-story buildings, from the top floor to the ground floor.
“For example, we witnessed a light fixture so full of diluted urine and feces that it would not operate,” the auditors said in the report, which included photographs of the malfunctioning light and stained ceiling tiles.
“As we continued our assessment throughout the second-floor bathroom, we identified evidence of large quantities of diluted urine dripping from the top floor down through the ceiling. The urine was so pervasive that it had permanently stained the ceiling tiles.”
Yes, let us indeed consider that building to be a symbol of U.S. efforts to help reestablish peace and security in Iraq. Geez, who knew that war profiteering could be so full of parables and stuff?
(BTW, Parsons has only received a billion so far for their 14 Iraqi projects, only 13 of which have been found to be shoddy, so I guess we could cut them some slack.)
Now, Rep. Mark Souder will make us understand something important about James Dobson (oddly enough, this report comes to us courtesy of Focus on the Family’s CitizenLink).
Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind […] said it is important for people to understand something about Dr. Dobson.
“When Dr. Dobson speaks out, he takes the hits and bullets for all of us,” Souder said. “He becomes the easy punching bag. And when someone sees trends changing or they want to pick on somebody, by Dr. Dobson becoming a public figure and taking the lead, he will get the criticism, but he’s really taking it for everybody.”
Yes, James Dobson died for your sins.
And in related news, Fox Faith announced they are starting production on a new film entitled The Passion of the Dobson, starring Larry Hagman as Dr. Dobson, Dick Armey as Judas, Bill O’Reilly as Petey the Christmas Warrior, and Mel Gibson as Shylock.
And lastly, here’s our Daily Swank:
What The Heck If Muslims Blow Us Up?
In these days of desperation when Isalmics don’t read nor hear free national leaders — intent are Muslims in slaughter and lay waste — it appears some sort of End is near.
Therefore, those webmasters who are cowardly and so won’t post the truth, coward on. And those political leaders, who are more interested in their skins, skin on. And those preachers who are not worth their pulpits, pulpit on.
Judgement Day awaits us all.
I think that Pastor Swank has given us all something to ponder.
But for now, let us all skin on. After all, tomorrow is another day — and I may just make it back then, if the good Lord is willing and the End doesn’t come before then. But in any case, thanks for your continued support. I really appreciate you all!