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Thanks to everyone for the headache treatment advice, and to D.Sidhe for the tutelage in triptans,  I seem to be on a 2-clusters per 24 hour cycle — the last pair arrived at 11:30 a.m. yesterday, and 3:30 this morning.  And as Chris Vosburg surmised, I’m in something of a manic phase at present, although sadly it’s not the mania following the end of a cluster siege, but just a generalized desperation to get some work done while I can.  And to what better use could I put my brief periods of lucidity than by psychoanalyzing old album covers?  Hm?  I ask you.

The first image is a fairly straightforward representation of my week so far:

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But I warn you: some of these album designs date to that most terrifying and subversive of decades, the 1960s, and may therefore trigger a Freak-Out.

Proceed at your own risk (might get slightly NSFW)…
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When his groundbreaking approach to Pop Art was rejected by the major U.S. record labels, a young Peter Max took his revolutionary aesthetic to Mexico, where he paired up with the experimental mariachi quartet Los Mike Nelsons (their debut album, mis pulmones son dolor de aire, was recorded entirely underwater, with the band singing through snorkels, and whale song replacing the then popular Hammond electric organ sound).  Through seven album covers in six years, Max struggled with the now familiar visual tropes he would later perfect in the late Sixties and early Seventies.

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Pssst!  I’m in the Klan…!

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Trannies of the Pampas was a huge hit throughout Latin America in 1959, but it’s better known in the U.S. as the Theme from the Magnificent Seven.

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Yes, what with the Tea Baggers, the Birthers, the Deathers, and all the other easily roused rabble, it seems like America is experiencing a new birth of Stupidity.  On the other hand, back in 1963, people could be swindled by puppets.

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Not The Beatles, But an Nauseating Simulation!  (“Yeah, I guess I like The Fab Four okay, they’re just a little too good-looking for me…Hey, wait a second…!  Who’re the new guys?”)

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“We’re called…The Aristocrats!

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“This is the part on Sprockets when we dance!”

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Fascinated by the possibility of unlocking the unconscious mind, Xaviar Cugat’s music struggled to show the Hootchie-Coochie and the Cha-cha-cha! from a strict Freudian perspective.

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After the studio system collapsed in the late Fifties, and roles dried up, tough guy stars Randolph Scott and Richard Widmark formed a duet and began touring the Southwestern states in drag.  No one knows why.

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Before Xuxa, Brazil’s most popular childrens television host was the irrepressible Molestador the Clown.

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I don’t care for Martin’s cover of Love at Sight, because it’s vague (Love at First sight?  Third?  The fifteenth time you bumped into each other reaching for the Baconnaise dressing at The Sizzler salad bar, and suddenly you were seized with passion?), but I can’t argue with his album designer’s headache pain management regimen.

31 Responses to “Apparently Roger Dean Wasn’t Available”

Well, Tammy looks like a fresh-faced country girl with Jiffy-Pop for hair, but Jim is obviously the sleaze-bag we all found him out to be years later. And the big tan dog puppet knows it too.

I would have titled the 8th one, “Andy Warhol-Songs For Lovers Only”

I’m sure Mr. Underpants et al will appreciate the reference!

Scott, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling bad but if the prescription advice from that last cover doesn’t work, well, you can always just keep trying.

Did you inherit Norbizness’ collection?

Ohlord, Scott…this is too funny…

Liebe Mutter: that guy looks like he was one of the moon station attendants on “Space 1999″ or perhaps “UFO”.

Edna and Rigmor: You can’t fool me! Those are Radar O’Reilly’s relations!

Romantica: Website, newsletter, subscribe…you know the deal.

Tammy Lee AND felt puppets? Man, Jim had it all. Guess there’s just no pleasing some sexual appetites…

looks like Scott’s been perusing shit record covers again

@ Actor 212 You mean this guy?

Big in Italy, apparently…

Hey, does anyone else think the dancing guy on the 7th cover looks like Ben Shapiro?

The love for Heino is much appreciated: of all the tall, blonde, German Schläger singers suffering from Graves’ disease, he is by far my favourite, and a local hero around these parts: fills the dance floor every time.

Well, gosh.
I *remember* at least one of these from leafing thru the LP bins at the local record store at age 13 or so — the one with Cugie (as Xavier Cugat was known by the cognoscenti) and his then bombshell-spouse, Abbe Lane. I have to say that, those psychoanalytical times being what they were (the from-the-couch sensational case-study collection was a well-established pulp paperback genre), it’s surprising that he got away with that giant baguette.

But on reflection, that’s probably because he didn’t do Rock & Roll, which was what was riveting the attention of the prune-mouthed at the time; they thought Elvis and rock and all those brown people were so obscene, they didn’t have any outrage to spare. And they were right. As anyone who’s ever heard the banned, non-bowdlerized version of Shirley & Lee’s “Let the Good Times Roll” will tell you.

Randolph Scott wishes to thank Isana Guitars, Thomastik-Infeld Strings, and Vox Amplifiers.

Hey, the Shakers’ “Break It All” isn’t a half-bad South American faux-Beatles rave -up. You can find it on the Nuggets Vol. 2 box set if you’re curious.

Cheap shot at Los Shakers. While The Beatles toured much of the world, they omitted South America from their itinerary. And yet, a South American beat group scene developed in the absence of a corporal British Invasion, centered in Buenos Aires (The Shakers left their native Uruguay and made the scene in Argentina). Plainly, Los Shakers drew their sound and appearance from the more popular band from England. Los Mockers tended to follow the Stones. Simultaneously, Brazil had their own raft of Merseybeat pretenders. Hard to fault South American youth for wanting to be part of the party in the sixties. Look, Dave Clark shamelessly mugged the Beatles and he was ushered into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Bruce Springsteen and Tom Hanks. J Neo Marvin is right about Rompan Todo, but the Shakers had a raft of catchy beat tunes, and later issued a more elaborate, introspective Sgt Pepper-style opus. Eat that, Dave Clark!

@ Actor 212 You mean this guy?

Bingo. Straker. That’s the guy.

How come Los Shakers all look like Ringo? Except the drummer?

Cheap shot at Los Shakers.

What cheap shot? They’re like the Beatles, only uglier. Is there something inaccurate about that?

Wow. Dude, I am so wasted just coming here…

Sheesh. Some people just can’t seem to enjoy themselves unless they’re slagging off The Tottenham Sound.

the Shakers had a raft of catchy beat tunes, and later issued a more elaborate, introspective Sgt Pepper-style opus

Somehow, Sgt Salt doesn’t have the same ring.

Get it? Salt? Shakers?

Actually, they remind me more of the Ruttles than the Beatles.

D.Sidhe: Annti (who’s feeling poorly at the moment) asked me to pass on a link (I seem to have lost your email address when my old PC died):

I just found D. THE PERFECT GIG!!! Origami cranes that they SELL to raise money for animal shelters!!! She needs to contact GreaterGood.org or TheAnimalRescueSite.com and tell ‘em that she can deliver IN BULK!!! Some money for her, a lot of food for animal shelters, and her cranes all over the world!

Origami Peace Cranes

Origami cranes?

I’m guessing they don’t have much of a load factor, being made of paper and all.

On the other hand, getting them to the job site probably doesn’t involve a flat bed truck and “Wide Load” permits.

CRAAAAAAAAANES

Ohlordno! Not here too!?!?!?!?!?!

Poor Annti. Seems to be a lot of that going around, ugh.

I’ll look into it. If nothing else, I might be able to just donate them. My paper is hardly that fancy, sadly. But it’s a good cause, and if they could use my cranes, that’d be great.

My shelter kitten Nagi, the little girl, has developed a habit of sneaking over to the box I fold them into before I count them, and grabbing a crane off the top, and then pelting down the hallway to chew on it. I’m losing a fair number of them to this, but it’s funny as hell, so I’m good with it. I put the cheap paper ones on her side of the box, and we’re cool.

actor, they do nail you on the balloon rate, though, which is where they effectively double your postage if your box h+w+d is over a certain number. Which is solely responsible for the fact that I have a fridge box full of the things I haven’t sent yet: I’d rather buy more paper than pay postage. This drives my partner crazy. Understandably.

My gmail is hdsidhe, it’s all over the web, not a secret. Anyone with a good cause or a decent use for some cranes may let me know there.

Fourth cover: Amy Winehouse’ better-looking mom right there.

Cool mentioning Roger Dean, by the way.

Scott, did you forget Matty Matlock and his Paducah Patrol? Your folks had the best records.

How could I forget Matty Matlock and His Paducah Patrol? They were Twice as Nice as Paradise!

I think I’ve said in the past that the anyone who displays such covers without listening to the contents is a wimp. I excuse Scott since his headaches would have worsened had he listened. However, one must delve into the deep, dark soul of Heino’s marriage of crude, pre-Kraftwerk electronic music to the polka to have a true appreciation of the ghastly. Cugat to me is a punchline for Ricky Ricardo jokes, and Cugie’s tender embrace of his large, warm, moist loaf doesn’t begin to reveal the limp music Cugat proffered. That Jim and Tammy Faye try to rip off Bob Clampett’s Time For Beany is itself enough to show them as the true charlatans they were unmasked for, decades too late. One should thank Romantica for giving Carol Doda the idea for her life’s work. The music inside includes the politest jungle ever (it really sounds more like the animal department at Woolworth’s in the ’60s), all twittering birds and small creature calls. No fang and talon evisceration as Denny tinkles piano over the background.

But the tits, Papa! What about the tits???

Well, isn’t inspiring Carol Doda enough?

I heard that Heino was really popular with ex-Nazis. (Something about nostalgia combined with “apolitical,” which is an oxymoron in post-war Germany.)

Then again, “Carumba, Karacha, ein Whiskey” is pretty catchy. Und alles ist wiederhin.

Something to say?