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« Post Friday Beast Blogging: The “Kubler-Ross Does Cats” Edition
I Hereby Declare War On The War On Christmas »

Travel Day

bigdaddy.jpg

Normal blogging should resume tomorrow.  Assuming the swelling goes down…

Posted by scott on Sunday, November 30th, 2008 at 8:47 am.

18 Responses to “Travel Day”

Shit howdy, boy, looks like you died and gone to heaven.

Left by Chris Vosburg on November 30th, 2008

Shit howdy, boy, looks like you died and gone to heaven.

Left by Chris Vosburg on November 30th, 2008

I think you get my point…
[nose in air, vainly concealing embarassment of having double-clicked "submit"]

Left by Chris Vosburg on November 30th, 2008

Okay I get that the blue shape is supposed to be a “man” but what is that pink thing?

Left by AnnPW on November 30th, 2008

…but what is that pink thing?

I think it’s supposed to be an example of abstract expressionism, sculpted in silicone, of play-doh and bacon.

But with abstract expressionism, you can never quite be sure.

Left by Snarki, child of Loki on November 30th, 2008

…but what is that pink thing?

The model for the chick from Day By Day?

Left by Dorothy on November 30th, 2008

My own hope this holiday season is that some day acts of love will become so common that the world will take little notice.

Left by Doghouse Riley on November 30th, 2008

Doghouse, dear, only tourists are shocked on Bourbon Street, and that’s not for very long, unless they’re total rubes.

I’m saddened and disappointed to see the new Big Daddy’s sign, though. It’s been that long since I’ve been home. Big Daddy’s has never been even vaguely “respectable,” but it was always a very interesting titty-bar, and the women you met there were always a hoot to talk to (especially the ones working on their doctorates or master’s degrees), though it was depressing when you got to see their pimp/dealer boyfriends. They all go to the Dungeon after the titty bars close, so I’ve met most of them, when they can take off the ankle-breaking hooker heels and be real people.

But the “live sex acts” angle is a definite descent for Big Daddy’s. That’s more like the Onyx or the late, non-lamented Unisex, and they were fucking SCUM. Seriously. Scum on the floors so thick, you could lose a shoe. You never wanted to sit down on ANY surface in those joints. Big Daddy’s used to be a decent working-class titty bar, but apparently has changed hands a couple of times since I left, especially after Katrina. They couldn’t compete with the carpetbagging out-of-town “gentleman’s clubs,” with the shipped-in “talent” and the buffets and the clean floors; who can compete with the mafia? Just another sign of the times, and a sad one. Once they go to hiring hairless little junkie boys to simulate fucking the bony crack girls, it’s over. There is no joy in Mudville today.

I know that this sounds funny or stupid to anybody who never worked in the Quarter, but titty bars were a huge part of the economy, since the end of prohibition and the demise of Storyville. Oh, sure, they market the “family friendly” end of Canal Street, with the aquarium, etc., but the real money comes from booze, tits and ass, and fleecing teh tourists. If Reagan & Bush Sr. hadn’t destroyed the independent oil industry in this state (like Standard Oil really had any competition), our primary source of income wouldn’t come from sweatshops/unregulated industry and whoring ourselves out to tourists.

And there goes tonight’s wet blanket report. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled amusements.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on November 30th, 2008

“If Reagan & Bush Sr. hadn’t destroyed the independent oil industry in this state

Now you piqued my curiosity Annti, I had always wondered why New Orleans and all down there was so damn poor when they their oil. I’m going to have to do some reading I guess.

Left by kate on November 30th, 2008

Is it a throbbing, pulsing swelling, Scott, the kind that only the loving of a hard, I mean, good woman can assuage?

Yes, I ghostwrote Newt’s book…

Left by actor212 on December 1st, 2008

Kate, to oversimplify, Reagan moved all of Louisiana’s oil & gas industries to Houston.

Three guesses which VP of Ronald Reagan benefitted most?

It sort of makes sense, in a weird way, that Texas would want to eliminate competition from a state with far lower labor costs.

Left by actor212 on December 1st, 2008

It seems the Reagan “legacy” just won’t go away. Thanks Actor, as my intentions don’t match my time.

Left by kate on December 1st, 2008

Well, Kate, in one ironic twist of fate, it may have been a good thing he did, because, you know, Katrina…that might have wiped out the American oil and gas industry for decades.

Left by actor212 on December 2nd, 2008

I often think of the highways when driving down them, imagine them cracked with weeds growing up in between, with bicycles and electric cars quietly clicketing and whirring along, people walking saying hello, maybe a dog or a horse plodding along with them and a train whizzing down the middle of the two opposing freeways.

But I’m a dreamer like that.

I’m sure if the oil and gas industries were in Katrina the levees would have been far stronger far earlier.

Left by kate on December 2nd, 2008

Hm.

Good point.

Left by actor212 on December 3rd, 2008

Geez Scott, hasn’t the swelling gone done yet?

Left by Weird Dave on December 3rd, 2008

INDEPENDENT oil companies are what tanked.

Exxon-Mobil, Marathon, British Petroleum, and the lovely Dutch of Shell (not to mention Dow motherfucking Chemical, better living through modern chemistry MY SARCOIDOSIC ASS!!!) still own about 60% of the state.

They just don’t have to pay any fucking taxes.

Ohhh, no, that’s what the working class/working poor are for, so that yuppies can burn up the ozone with SUVs and the gated-community cocksuckers can whine about “welfare queens.”

And re: Katrina & the oil industry? Yeah, google “vast petrochemical/petroleum spills in St. Bernard Parish,” post-Katrina. That shit STILL ain’t cleaned-up.

Know why?

Nobody fucking cares, that’s why. I think that that massive toxic-waste-dump clusterfuck was at the hands of Shell and/or Marathon, but I could be brain-farting, so you might wanna double-check that one. Acres and acres and acres of rainbow-hued flood spooge. Land there is REEEEALLLLL cheap now, as opposed to the bigoted gouging in Orleans, as they continue to wipe public & subsidized housing off the face of the earth and allow the slum-lords to charge 3X market value for utter DUMPS. But then, only rich white republicunt carpetbaggers are WELCOME in New Orleans, anyway. Just ask See-Ray Nagin, everybody’s favorite republicunt-puppet oreo.

There’s a reason why there are so many fundraisers held down here for St. Jude’s Hospital in Memphis, after all, as a good sixty percent of their patients hail from, you guessed it — CANCER ALLEY.

Houston has more square footage of refineries and chemical plants, but they don’t really put out any more volume than the never-seen-the-EPA, hoopty old run-down plants over here on U.S. 61. Back in the Cold War days, I think that Baton Rouge was #3 & NOLA was #4 on the “Primary Strike List,” when those mythological Soviet nukes were to come a’flyin’ over here. Know why? ‘Cause without Baton Rouge, there wouldn’t be any plastics, cleaning chemicals, mechanical/automotive/industrial lubricants, bleach, liquefied gases/natural gas, etc., and without New Orleans, nothing that’s shipped on the river would make it out of this continent.

In other words, the two biggest dirty bombs in North America, sitting there, wide open. On 9/11, guess what got locked-down and cleared-out faster than any schools, government offices, or banks? You betcha, to paraphrase Caribou Barbie: Exxon-Mobil, Exxon Plastics, Marathon Oil, British Petroleum, Shell Petrochemicals, Chevron Lubricants, etc. State troopers were in there within forty-five minutes of the first plane hitting the tower. The only thing in this state that DOES work: guarding the interests of our republicunt massahs. Especially Poppy Bush and his co-horts, who have ALWAYS had a hard-on against independent Louisiana petroleum/natural gas interests, because they wouldn’t “play ball” the way he wanted, hence the 1981-83 demise of the Louisiana economy.

BTW, same cocksuckers who put Eddie Jordan in a position to entrap Edwin Edwards and put him into the federal pen, because without Edwin, the formerly “democratic” party in this state would fold like a house of cards, and leave us wide-open for the conquering Piyush. Y’know, after they destroyed New Orleans and got rid of all of those very-inconvenient poor black folks, the last solidly-democratic voting bloc in the ENTIRE South, including Atlanta.

Nothing is accidental, any more than this “economic crisis,” which started two fucking years ago, is a “sudden shock.” The shit we’re shoveling through now was an avalanche started back when Bonzo was first elected. It’s not cyclical when the cycle still hasn’t FINISHED.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 8th, 2008

Oh, and re: levees:

Thank Dumbya for that.

The oil companies, esp. the refineries & petrochemical/lubricants/plastics plants, all have THEIR OWN, PRIVATELY-MAINTAINED LEVEES, around every single fucking facility. And yes, they get GINORMOUS tax rebates/cuts/loopholes for building those, as that’s considered their “environmental protection” for the surrounding (poor, ‘hood, declining) neighborhoods. Seriously. They give the fuckers PLAQUES and AWARDS for that bare-minimum shit.

But the REAL levees? The ones that are supposed to protect every state, all down the Mississippi River? The levees whose concrete mats are made right down the road from where I sit?

Yeah, check the federal budgets for the past 8 years.

EVERY SINGLE YEAR, they cut the U.S. Army Corps Of Engineers budget. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING YEAR. The mat field, the labor (firing all of the citizens who’d worked there for decades and busing-in “guest workers” every 3 months), the insurance, the maintenance, the improvements, every single fucking job that the USACE are responsible for getting done, DUMBYA AND BIGGUS DICKUS CUT TO THE FUCKING BONE.

So the next time that some fucktard relative or other bigoted, ignorant-ass moron says that Katrina was an “act of gawd,” or something equally idiotic, KICK ‘EM IN THE ASS FOR ME and about 1,500 dead people.

KATRINA WAS A PURPOSEFUL AND POINTED, VERY DELIBERATE GENOCIDE. Period.

Or, as some still-unidentified UBER-DOUCHEBAG in the White House remarked (or the Western White House in Crawford, a “ranch” that’s never held horses OR cattle) AT THE TIME: “Well, THERE’S your solution to THE PUBLIC HOUSING PROBLEM.”

Any other questions?

One of my grandfathers (alleged grandfather, I still want a DNA test from Teh Dick) worked 30+ years in Esso/Exxon/Standard Oil plants, died at 50 of his first coronary. My Papa (maternal grandfather) worked nights in the Ethyl Chemical R&D lab (to be able to keep his working-poor baptist church up & running; my grandmother taught 42 years of public school for the same reason), and the tumor they took out of his throat was the size of a regulation MLB hardball.

I had just turn 28 when I was diagnosed with some weird shit called “sarcoidosis.” It’d be awfully convenient for the petrochemical industry (who remind the football-obsessed sheepul that, WITHOUT DOW CHEMICAL, THERE’D *BE* NO FOOTBALL!!! As in, sit down, shut the fuck up, and take what we give you, slave!) if all of the diseases & deaths that they blame on cigarette smoke and “second-hand smoke” WERE ACTUALLY CAUSED by cigarette smoke.

But they’re not.

They’re caused by air so thick you can chew it, tap-water that has more texture than a mile of riverbed, and soil that grows AMAZINGLY huge crops, but that’s supposed to be a “good” thing, better living through modern fertilizers, blah blah blah.

Oh, it’s fertilizer, all right.

And yes, these same corporations could easily save/rebuild the entire levee system with their SPARE CHANGE, without sacrificing a cent of profit, but then, how would their CEOs afford those eighteen vacation homes? That’s why Bush Sr. hadda put the indy oil companies outta bidness, ’cause they were up to PAYING THEIR FAIR SHARE, and you just can’t HAVE that shit in the OIL INDUSTRY, now can you. They were also friendly with the unions, and well, hell, y’all know what Reagan did to the unions.

If anybody has any questions about how we could sacrifice thousands of our own kids and millions of middle-eastern kids, adults, you name it, PURELY FOR THE SAKE OF THAT PIPELINE THROUGH AFGHANISTAN AND THE MINERAL RIGHTS TO MOST OF IRAQ: look at what Standard Oil hath wrought upon the backs of undereducated Louisianians. We were just the test-run. Said it many times before, and it’s still true. The rest of this country tolerates the way that they treat US, because you’re led to assume that this is how we “want” it: no justice, no health, no futures, no truth. Yeah, that’s how they want it in Chad, Sudan, Thailand, Burma, China, Guantanamo, Mexico, South America, suuuuure, that’s how we WANT IT. Right.

That’s how the corporations and the cults want it. Keep us ignorant, apathetic, and grateful to the massahs who treat us like animals, and you can get away with ANYTHING in Louisiana. Keep ‘em breeding and overbreeding and believing in invisible sky-fairies, and they’ll never think to blame those who are truly guilty.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 8th, 2008

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