*Because Scott is known in Hollywood as a Black Belt Commie Sympathizer.
Anyway, as we continue our stroll down Town Hall’s boulevard of broken dreams, tortured syntax, and muddled thinking, let’s stop and stare at Chuck Norris, who has followed in the footsteps of Pat Boone and used his golden years to become a conservative columnist/crackpot. So, here’s Chuck’s latest piece, Clandestine Conservatives in Hollywood.
As I was being interviewed recently at my Texas ranch by Geraldo Rivera, I thought back over my four decades in acting and how the pool of conservative “tough guys” seems to be drying up in Hollywood.
What a coincidence! As I was being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for Blogging, I thought back over my four decades of watching bad movies and how really atrocious Chuck Norris’s Invasion USA is. (Although this film left deep emotional scars, it didn’t make the cut for Better Living Through Bad Movies, possibly because the book self-publishing industry is secretly controlled by liberals.)
Or are liberal waters just getting too hot for conservatives?
Yes, conservative tough guys are drying up due to hot liberal waters. That’s got to be it, Chuck!
Then I recalled that The Washington Times recently reported, “A group of politically conservative and centrist Hollywood figures (up to 600 at once) organized by actor Gary Sinise and others has been meeting quietly in restaurants and private homes, forming a loose-knit network of entertainers who share common beliefs like supporting U.S. troops and traditional American values.”
How sad that Chuck had to read in the paper about these gatherings — you’d think that he’d rate at least a courtesy invitation. (“Hi, Mr. Norris, it’s Gary Sinise. Yes, the guy from the C.S.I. that nobody watches. Anyway, I understand that you are a wingnut, so I wanted to let you know that me and 600 of my closest closeted conservative friends are getting together at Olive Garden on Tuesday. We wondered if you wanted to join us as we whine about how we coulda been contenders if only we weren’t always being blacklisted for loving America and Jesus. Yes, they are doing that “Endless Pasta Bowl” thing there now. Of course, most of the others think that you are an embarrasing old coot, so you probably wouldn’t want to come. Maybe another time, okay?”)
But the article also noted that the secret is out on these clandestine meetings, as conservatives progressively are becoming more and more emboldened.
I hear that they are so emboldened that one of them dared to tell the Wash Times that they’re here, they’re against queers, and Hollywood should get used to them secretly not caring about the rain forest.
In a so-called age of tolerance, it amazes me just how intolerant some people are of those who stand for traditional values. For example, if I stand against California’s memorializing of Harvey Milk Day or stand for California’s Proposition 8, which would create an amendment to the California Constitution to safeguard heterosexual purity in marriage (which I do support and encourage Gov. Schwarzenegger and all Californians to do the same), I’m considered by many to be intolerant and a bigot.
Aw, now who would consider Chuck to be intolerant just for trying to safeguard heterosexual purity by denying other people the right to marry?
But if another actor takes just the opposite positions on those measures, he is considered to be compassionate and a liberator.
It’s true! All of California hails our friend Actor212 as a Liberator (“El Libertador212,” they call him) for not supporting Prop. 8.
Or when a liberal candidate, such as Hillary Clinton, runs for president, her candidacy is considered a fulfillment of civil rights and women’s suffrage. But when a conservative candidate, such as Sarah Palin, runs for vice president, she’s considered a radical right-wing extremist who could usurp the Capitol by toting rifles at her side.
Okay, it’s time for Chuck to take his nap now. (He gets a little worked up when he thinks about a rifle-toting Sarah Palin taking over the Capitol, much as the bazooka-toting Cubans took over a Miami mall in Invasion USA). But here’s a parting thought for you to mull over as you go about your business.
This is America, and we should respect the fact that we will have strong, diverse opinions, and we must allow one another the freedom of speech to air such opines, not suppress them through peer pressure of any type like children.
So, no more peer pressure of any type, Hollywood! You totally accept the conservatives or there will be no dessert for anyone!
Y’know, I’ve always thought he was a lame actor without a single good movie to his credit. This I could overlook. That he’s also a total jackass just gives me one additional reason to ignore him.
Yet another bigot who thinks “If you were TRULY tolerant, you’d be tolerant of the intolerant” is a “Gotcha!” argument. Gee Chuck, you use a phrase like “heterosexual purity” and you’re surprised people think you’re an asshole?
But he’s not without his fans, I guess. So I’ll let Corey “Mr. Safety” Williams have the final word:
Left by Bill S on September 30th, 2008