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Archive for October, 2007

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Terrifying Tuesday!

Posted by Maryc on October 23rd, 2007

Is cleanliness really next to Godliness? Or is it closer to deathliness? The only answer comes from….TALES FROM THE PUB!!!!

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Happy Holidays, Video Village | 3 Comments »

Happy Sweetest Day, World O Crap-ians!

Posted by Maryc on October 20th, 2007

And in honor of Sweetest Day, the sweetest youtube I have ever seen. Be sure to watch straight to the end for the full sweetest (and cutest) effect.

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Happy Holidays, Video Village, Wild Things | 8 Comments »

Frightful Friday….

Posted by Maryc on October 18th, 2007

Stay Out Of The Trees!

Sometimes, even….small trinkets can deter us from the road to… disaster!

If only George W. Bush had been in a pub, and someone had found a…trinket of….Dwight D. Eisnenhower…then, maybe….Oh, Well.

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Happy Holidays, Video Village | 7 Comments »

Throat Clutching Horror Thursday!

Posted by Maryc on October 17th, 2007

Isn’t it…odd, how some blogs will suddenly post horror themed things during the month of October? But then again….maybe it’s not so odd, since Halloween happens this month….hmmmm. I wonder. Oh well.

In the meantime, please…..enjoy….this throat clutching tale from Tales From the Pub….

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Happy Holidays, Video Village | 9 Comments »

Happy (Early) Birthday, Planet Earth!

Posted by s.z. on October 4th, 2007

And no, I won’t post a lovely photo of Ann Coulter in its honor.But here’s the scoop from WorldNetDaily.

Creation occurred 6,010 years ago Oct. 23, says historian

How old is the world?

Most people would say: “Nobody knows.”

But then, most people didn’t read the title of this item.

But the author of the book frequently described as the greatest history book ever written, said the world was created Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,009 last Monday.

Um, wasn’t last Monday September 24th?  And if it was really born in 4004 B.C., I think the world is lying about its age.  But even so, it doesn’t look a day over 6000!

In the 1650s, an Anglican bishop named James Ussher published his “Annals of the World,” subtitled, “The Origin of Time, and Continued to the Beginning of the Emperor Vespasian’s Reign and the Total Destruction and Abolition of the Temple and Commonwealth of the Jews.” First published in Latin, it consisted of more than 1,600 pages.The book, now published in English for the first time, is a favorite of homeschoolers Why am I not surprised?

… and those who take ancient history seriously

Yeah, I imagine that respected historians and serious scholars are the biggest buyers of this book.

It’s the history of the world from the Garden of Eden to the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70.

Those who take history seriously always start things out with the Garden of Eden.

Of course, there will be those who disagree with Ussher’s calculations of time

No!

 – especially evolutionists who need billions of years to explain their theory of how life sprang from non-life and mutated from one-celled animals into human beings.

What a bunch of losers, taking billions of years to do something that a 17th-century bishop could do in 6000 years!

The new edition of “Annals” is one of the most significant publishing events of the 21st century.

And since this claim comes from the book’s publisher, you know it must be true!

But, just to be complete, here are some of the other most significant publishing events of the 21 century, from the other conservative publishers:

“

“ (“Spicing up her statistics with obscene rap lyrics and lurid reports of teen orgies and the high school “craze” for oral sex, she blames the usual suspects…”)

“

““

And, of course:

“

So, the publishing world is just full of significant events this year.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send the world a birthday card or something.

 UPDATE (At the request of Actor 212)

Here’s Michael Fumento:

“Of course, there will be those who disagree with my calculations – especially evolutionists who need billions of years to explain their theory of how life sprang from non-life and mutated from one-celled animals into human beings, a “theory” which I can disprove in one short Town Hall column, because I can cite industry-sponsored evidence that suggests that mutation doesn’t exist, except in the minds of scare-mongering liberals at sites like Daily Kos.  Yup, I have driven them absolutely nuts at Daily Kos.  I am all they talk about.  I am their archenemy, and the focus of all of their nasty left-wing ire, which shows just how important I am.  My hourly Google searches of my name have proven this.  BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, WORLD!” 

Note for Mike: This may or may not be an accurate summary of your Town Hall piece – nobody here cares enough about you to read your columns and find out. 

Uncategorized | 61 Comments »

Men’s Room Confidential

Posted by s.z. on October 1st, 2007

Good news, everyone!  Our friend Dr. Mike has written another of his patented “snappy answers to stupid liberals” columns!

You know, the pieces he writes after having spent all night thinking up a devastating response to some offhand remark that the janitor made to him the day before.  These columns are notable for featuring a clueless hippie/peacenik-type who arouses Dr Mike’s wrath by saying something really dumb.  The cast of characters also includes at least one ED-inducing lesbian feminist, as well as a Hollywood starlet whom Dr. Mike claims to have the hots for, as proof that he is a normal heterosexual male who really isn’t repulsed by icky old girls (interestingly enough, Pastor Doug Giles uses the same technique). 

However, to buy into this week’s column, “My Constitutional Right to be Loved,” you have to accept the premise that not only do Dr. Mike’s fellow professors talk to him outside of required faculty meetings, but they also want to discuss topics like abortion with him.  In the men’s room!  While he’s peeing! 

Anyway, here’s the column’s set-up — see how much of it you believe:

Dear Fellow UNC-Wilmington Professor:

I want to take a few minutes to thank you for sharing your views on abortion while I was urinating in the men’s restroom at our place of employment. I didn’t mind learning that your support for abortion is predicated on your belief that every child in America has a “constitutional right to be loved.” But I did mind that you tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention while I was facing in the other direction with my pants unzipped. Try your best to keep your hands off me the next time you see me in a public restroom unless, of course, you plan to run for the United States Senate.

So, there was Dr. Mike, talking a whiz in the Executive Professors Little Boy’s Room, studiously facing away from all the other men so he wouldn’t even seem to be looking at their equipment, when another professor tapped him on the shoulder to say something that a liberal in Chick tract would say, if Chick was doing a comic book based on Dr. Mike’s life (which I think would be a really cool idea, and they should both get on it).  Personally, I believe it happened just like Dr. Mike says.  Seriously. 

PSYCH!

Well, I would believe it, if only we could also take this portion of Dr. Mike’s column seriously too:

I should be killed by a feminist the next time I see a feminist from the Women’s Resource Center showing students how to put a condom on a cucumber.

Anyway, I’ll let Dr. Mike have the (almost) last word, because he’s clearly spent a lot of time ruminating about his bathroom encounter with the touchy-feely liberal with the strong, manly grip:

Many of my readers are wondering how a tenured professor could accrue a level of intellectual arrogance severe enough to produce a belief that he may, a) invent constitutional rights, b) enforce them via the death penalty, c) remedy the constitutional violation by the murder of the person (note: the professor admitted that the fetus was a “child”) whose rights were violated, and d) allow the killing to actually be ordered by the perpetrator.

Fortunately for my readers, I will address the origins of such arrogance in my next column. I strongly feel like I have a right for you to read it. If you choose not to, feel free to kill me.

Thanks, Dr. Mike, but it’s the people who DO read your columns to whom you should be extending that offer.

With Dr. Mike | 23 Comments »

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