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Archive for October 26th, 2008


NEWPORT BEACH, CA — Late Saturday afternoon, in the reddest part of California’s most conservative county, a crazed supporter of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama brutally mugged the sand with a metal detector.  According to the Beach, the assailant — described as a “tall black man wearing Madras plaid Bermuda shorts, a golf shirt, and a Panama hat” — stole four bottle caps, two loose keys, a grommet, and 74 cents in change.  The Beach, who is white, told investigators it suspected the man then noticed a soggy “McCain-Palin” sign wrapped around a leg of its pier, because he flew into a rage and allegedly punched the Beach below the waterline, then carved the campaign’s familiar “O” logo into it with a dull knife.


Welcome Back, Chris V.

Posted by s.z. on October 26th, 2008

We’re so glad that you’re on the mend!  As you know, the traditional birthday gift around here is a lovely photo of Ann Coulter.  However, we realize that people recovering from near-fatal accidents should not be subjected to such abuse.  Therefore, the traditional get well gift in these cases is a lovely photo of Bill O’Reilly, paired with one of Hitler.  Enjoy!