Apparently, two K-Lo posts in a two week period is just too much, causing Wo’C reader Fred Burfle to relive the climax of The Wicker Man, and that scene from The Dunwich Horror where Al from Quantum Leap dresses up in a dashiki and tries to ritually sacrifice Gidget.
So I’ve got a fresh new wingnut for you kids today — still in the original packaging. It’s Bruce Walker! (Please, hold your applause til the end. Thank you.) According to his various bios, “Bruce Walker is an author of more than one thousand online articles,” which have appeared in “American Thinker, WorldNetDaily, FrontPage, the Washington Times and many other online periodicals.” Additionally, Mr. Walker has written two books, one of which is apparently the Necronomicon:
Bruce’s bio continues, “his first book, Sinisterism: Secular Religion of the Lie, has been ranked among the most essential books of our times.” I know I haven’t been able to get along without it, ever since the right front leg of the couch broke off. But aside from me and my cheap IKEA furniture, who else has ranked it? Well, it’s been “rated by professional reviewers from three continents as among the essential books for our time.”
In a strange coincidence, Bruce’s book has been reviewed by three different people on Amazon, presumably each from a different continent. One reader remarks that “[t]here is no index and I would have expected a correction of all the typos and spelling errors in the first edition. Not so. For example, Leni Riefenstahl is spelt correctly once but thereafter the Nazi filmmaker and photographer is called Lili Riesenthal.” Another states, “[w]ith a wealth of documentation, Bruce Walker reveals the shocking truth that there is no such thing as right wing extremism.” And the third pays perhaps the highest compliment, declaring “This author has performed an excellent service, as has Jonah Goldberg.”
So get yours today!
Mr. Walker has also written The Swastika against the Cross: The Nazi War on Christianity, the thesis of which seems to be that the real target of the Final Solution was Christianity, and the Jews were just collateral damage. Alas, professional reviewers don’t seem to have gotten to this tome yet, but it’s inspired critiques by four different users on Amazon (no word yet on their continental distribution), one of whom rhapsodizes, “This is a short book (95 pages, 5 of which are Bibliography).”
Bruce has now reached the Scheherazadian score of 1001 online articles, with this week’s contribution to American Thinker, which puts Feminism in historical perspective, and Feminists back in the scullery where they belong:
The New Cleaning Ladies of Leftism
Forty years ago, American society (or at least those parts of it owned by the leftist establishment) was aflutter with feminism.
It was one of those crazy 70s fads, like pukka shell necklaces on men, Pet Rocks, mood rings, and those transistor radios that looked like the Pods from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The Moral Equivalent of Feminism. (Except you could also use it to listen to ball games, or Blues Image doing “Ride Captain Ride.”)
This was the newest incarnation of the flower of leftism.
True, the word “feminism” had been around since at least the turn of the century, but 1970 was the first year the ladies were actually able to make it flutter.
Colleges rushed to include courses in “Women’s Studies,” oblivious to the fact that “Aryan Studies” in German colleges represented the nadir in human scholarship and that the stark “Women Good, Men Bad” animus of this pseudo-academic adventure smells just like something the National Socialist Student Association would have cooked up.
At a time when women were entering universities and the workforce in record numbers, some people felt there was room for a course or two emphasizing their contributions to society, especially as they’d previously been given rather short shrift in the history books. But in retrospect, it’s obvious the girls were just trying to do to men what the Nazis did to Christians — crush them beneath the boot of the Master Sex, round them up into death camps, and send their remains to the Easy Bake Ovens.
Men were dumbfounded to discover that they had been “oppressors” —
As shocking twists go, it rivals the later works of M. Night Shyamalan.
– that they had forced wives to stay home while they savored the sweet joys of rush-hour traffic and heart-attack jobs
This reminds me of that piece by Matt Patterson, in which he revealed that “feminism” was actually designed by men, who realized that fooling women into becoming well-educated and financially self-sufficient would naturally incline them to give “easy mating access” to smirking bachelors.
Sex differentiation in species close to Homo sapiens very closely mirrors those sexual roles which have independently evolved in wholly separate cultures for thousands of years. This surprising fact — that men and women are inherently different and complementary — never surprised conservatives, and to their great credit, conservative women emphatically rejected the notion that the apparatus of leftist inquisitions were needed to protect them from the dark hearts of wicked men.
Look at the example of Phyllis Schlafly. Although she’s spent her life in the public sphere as a writer, constitutional attorney, and conservative political activist, at home her behavior is so closely modeled on the Rwandan Mountain Gorilla that Dian Fossey rented the house next door to the Schlaflys just so she could spy on Phillis while she was mowing the lawn.
Something else happened, too. The tired, nagging voice of leftist feminism showed its dirty petticoats the first time that questioning ideological orthodoxy demanded decency.
I don’t mind a voice — even a nagging one — wearing an underskirt, especially for a dance or special occasion, but if you don’t keep them clean they can really make your throat scratchy.
Bill Clinton — if we are to believe the impassioned and credible tales of multiple women — did not just have affairs. He intimidated women. He sent goons to stalk them. He took advantage of women at their weakest. And, very probably, Clinton savagely raped Juanita Broaddrick. The New Cleaning Ladies, the aging ward heelers of stale feminism, came in and mopped up all the evidence, showing credentials which confirmed them as semi-officially sanctioned representatives of women everywhere.
The Cleaning Lady Cops (who were, ironically, dirty cops) flashed their badges as they brusquely took over the crime scene and tampered with the evidence, but fortunately, their staleness was later detected by the forensic specialists of CSI: Patriarchy, who noticed that the feminism didn’t feel fresh.
When George W. Bush launched campaigns in Afghanistan and in Iraq, the strategic prudence of his crusade was the subject of fair review. The impact of these campaigns on women, however, was clear: Whoever else may have been liberated, women were magnificently liberated.
As long as we’re putting things in historical perspective, Iraq under Saddam was a secular society and women enjoyed perhaps the greatest degree of social equality in the region. Since the U.S. invasion, many women have suffered a serious and widespread erosion of their rights, and a shocking increase in domestic violence, sexual assaults, and sectarian homicides, but in a really magnificient way.
The misogyny of Islam is a very old story, and radical Islam treats women worse than other versions. The explosion of crimes like honor killings in America and other parts of the West is ignored by the New Cleaning Ladies of old femi-leftistm.
Jonah Goldberg proved with Liberal Fascism that coining a paradoxical neologism for your ideological enemies is the shortest route to a Fox News appearance; and while Bruce will be the first to admit he was disappointed by the performance of the word “Sinisterism,” he really thinks he’s sitting on a gold mine with “femi-leftism.” It just rolls right off the tongue and drips straight into your shoes.
The nuttiest slanders of the Christian or the Jewish attitude toward women can be blown into a shrill shriek of horror by these old hags, but show them a girl subjected to “female circumcision” by enemies of America and its liberties, and the crones yawn.
Sure, Alice Walker published a book decrying the practice a decade before the Iraq war, but it took George W. Bush to actually stop the practice of female genital mutilation by dropping cluster bombs on civilians, because sometimes you’ve got to destroy the woman to save the clitoris.
But “the times, they are a-changing.” Now the scalpel of conservative writing cuts deeper than does just the pen of Ann Coulter.
Who, judging by the previous paragraph, is apparently now using her pen to perform female circumcisions?
She is not just brilliant, but beautiful and bold. Ann movingly wrote loving tributes to the memories of her mother and of her father, both of whom she clearly admired and adored. She was but one of the army of principled pens guided by female hands.
With Ann, the pen works on the same principle as the pointer on a Ouija board.
Sarah Palin, quite literally a beauty queen, stood up as perhaps the bravest braveheart in the conservative movement.
Because Palin also, apparently, likes to moon her enemies, and thinks the Jews started the Schmalkaldic Wars.
These are women who need no crutch of nebulous patriarchy to earn a place at the table of public debate. These women love and trust men as well as women.
Well that was their first mistake!
They trust in the goodness of Judeo-Christian traditions
Such as multiple wives, the “rule of thumb,” and obtaining divorce by transubstantiation into a pillar of salt.
and they worship God as common children, like all mankind, of His creation. Their cheerful, saucy, direct, and polemical assaults on leftism will force counterattacks — indeed, those counter-attacks have already begun. And because the left is, at essence, simply vile, the attacks on Sarah and Ann have been vile.
Yes, how dare the left counterattack after being assaulted. Especially when it was such a saucy assault!
In the corner, with the mop and bucket, stare the old ladies of femi-leftism, knowing their place, biting their tongues as their masters mock each element of womanhood which these conservatives possess.
I’m lost. Who are the masters of femi-leftism, and why aren’t the femi-leftists in charge of femi-leftism?
So Sarah has a special needs child? Men heap cruel mockery, and their female servants sit by.
Because Gloria Steinem didn’t arrest Bill Clinton for rape, men are now free to make fun of Down’s Syndrome.
So a male blogger has invented an affair with Nikki Haley? Well, the New Cleaning Ladies of leftism don’t think all men are bad.
Yeah, well you’re not exactly burnishing our escutcheon, Bruce.
Even the tiniest tweaks they make now, like about when Obama shoved aside Hillary and then gave her an empty job
Exactly. Secretary of State? Oh whoop-de-doo, he made her a secretary. She’s practically Peggy from Season 1 of Mad Men, except not even Pete Campbell wants to bone her in his office.
While the New Cleaning Ladies of leftism watch, real women, like Ann and Sarah and Nikki…will lovingly guide America to a happier future.
Yes. Real women like…Ann Coulter. Who, in keeping with a more modern, less Cleaning Ladylike feminism, wants to repeal the Nineteenth Amendment.
A little further along in his bio, Bruce reveals that he’s “married and the father of four children.” The odds are against it, but I’m going to hold onto the admittedly naive hope that none of them are girls.