Apologies for my poor rate of posting around here lately, but the herniated disc seems a bit less responsive to painkillers than it’s been in the past, so I can only sit at the computer and read wingnuts for about 15 minutes (a unit of time known in the metric system as a “spasm”). But I did want to express my appreciation to Ivan of Thrilling Days of Yesteryear, and the inimitable Anntichrist for the kind shout-outs on their blogs. And above all, to thank Sheri for her generous words, the inspiring Crow T. Robot quote, the more horrifying than usual horoscope, and of course, the brand new photo, in which Ann looks like a wizened version of that goofy dancer from the Feiffer cartoons.
So I’m feeling invigorated by all the love; but rather than laboriously pan the right-wing blogosphere for pyrite, I think I’ll just sink my shovel directly into the Mother Load:
Jimmy Carter: liar extraordinaire, by Warner Todd Huston (seen here slumming in mufti, rather than swanning about the Internet in the sort of meticulously recreated Nazi uniform that says, “My country is richer than Scrooge McDuck.”)
As you may recall from previous appearances, Warner’s RenewAmerica bio modestly celebrates his “thoughtful commentary, sometimes irreverent often historically based,” and his contributions to “several history magazines.” So he’s basically Herodotus, if Flowbee technology had existed in the 5th Century BC.
Every once in a while one must risk breaching decorum and call a spade a spade.
…while dancing around the room with a sheet thrown over you, pausing every few moments to give your vintage Aunt Jemima bobblehead doll a festive jiggle.
In this case sentient people cannot avoid affirming the stark truth that former President Jimmy Carter is one of the world’s greatest liars.
Turns out that wasn’t actually lust in his heart, it was just really sexy arteriosclerotic plaque. But I’m glad to see Warner really knows how to pick his battles, and I look forward to his thoughtful, irreverent, and historical insights on how we, the sentient readers at home, can avoid affirming stark truths.
This melodious storyteller’s latest misconstruction of the truth comes from the Deseret News of Salt Lake City, Utah where Carter regaled reporter Jessica Harrison with his blinkered view of reality. His most extreme lie was his assessment of his own administration: “We had almost complete harmony with every nation on Earth. We not only preserved peace for our country, we never went to war. We never dropped a bomb. We never fired a missile.”
Really? That’s his most extreme lie? Okay…and you don’t want to build up to that at all? Maybe start with some of his whitest lies and most transparent evasions? You just want to shoot your wad in the first paragraph, huh. Because if the idea is to one-up Carter by dropping a bombshell of your own, then I’m afraid it was either a UXB, or you dropped a deuce by mistake.
Not firing a missile or dropping a bomb is not the sole criteria for “harmony.”
Well, the former President didn’t say it was, and it’s probably a good thing it’s not, otherwise contestants in the Barbershop Harmony Society’s International College Quartet Contest would be judged not only on the quality of their four-part chords, but on how well they limited collateral damage to surrounding handlebar mustaches through the use of laser-targeted “smart” weapons.
At the very least we had the Iranian hostage crisis on Carter’s watch, a crisis that revealed a dearth of that “harmony” Carter was rambling about.
You know, Warner, that’s a legitimate point. I hope you don’t ruin it by saying something stupid.
But even that aside we had two U.S. soldiers killed by North Korea in 1976 an action that caused President Ford to send additional U.S. forces to the Korean theater
People who lack a gift for historically-based commentary often forget that Carter is responsible for the actions of all previous presidents, because of Original Sin, or something. For instance, FDR sent U.S. forces to the European and Pacific theaters in 1942, which is obviously why everyone hated us in late 70s.
…not to mention the continued belligerence of the United Soviet Socialist Republic, the implacable communist foe that faced us down for 50 years by that point. The U.S.S.R. was still working against U.S. interests unabated and was hardly indulging any sense of “harmony” with “every nation on Earth” during Carter’s term.
If I read the interview correctly, Mr. Carter was talking about our foreign policy (“We not only preserved peace for our country, we never went to war”), not the Soviets’. Still, it’s a little disingenuous on his part to ignore all those bombs and missiles the Russians dropped on our cities in the late 70s.
East Germany and West Germany were still spilt
But united in their hatred of us, apparently.
Cuba still worked against the U.S., South and Central America still had governments that opposed America…
Yes, Latin America got much more harmonious during successor Administrations, what with the invasions of Grenada and Panama, our support for death squads and military juntas in El Salvador and Guatemala (known for their homicidal ruthlessness and bouncy four-part harmonies); and who can forget all the cool anti-nun weapons we bought for the “moral equivalent of our Founding Fathers,” the Contras? Well, Warner, apparently; but that’s just because he has so many historical facts in his head he can never find the one he needs. Mary’s the same way when she’s sorting through all her cookbooks looking for one particular recipe.
So. Anyway…Carter’s a big fat liar.
in short all that “harmony” Carter dreamed about existing was a mirage residing only in his head. Jimmy Carter did not foster “harmony” as much as he simply ignored and abdicated to others any attention to the foreign policy situations we faced during his few short years in office.
Reagan walked into the Oval Office his first day as President and found that Carter had left behind a whole stack of pregnant Nicaraguan women who needed to be disemboweled with bayonets. Gee, thanks, Mr. Procrastination!
That he basically ignored substantive foreign policy is one of the reasons he became the only elected president in decades to be denied a second term. Carter’s next guffaw inducing claim in the Deseret News interview was his lament about all that evil money in politics.
The political environment has become polarized in individual states and among voters, Carter says, caused primarily “by the massive and unprecedented infusion of millions of dollars into the campaign coffers of candidates, which are used mostly just for negative advertising to destroy the reputation or character of your opponents.”
The evils of money in politics is a typically skewed Democrat contention but it is a false one — or at least misleading talking point.
While conservative pundits — like Warner — often decry the “politics of personal destruction,” they don’t believe that money is the cause of this unsavory climate, since the loudest and stupidest smears are often the work of unpaid volunteers — like Warner.
It is true that there is more money in politics than ever and it is true that the money is coming from all sides, business, politics, unions, and foreign sources alike. But while there is a lot of money flowing into politics — so strictly speaking it is true —
“…but I’m going to make up a far-fetched reason why it’s really an extreme lie! Watch. Me. Rock.”
what leftists don’t do is explain why all that money is flowing like never before into election campaigns.
Apparently everything Jimmy Carter doesn’t say is also a lie.
Leftists simply state that there is too much money in politics and then leave it at that leading listeners to the vague feeling that the money itself is the great evil.
Yep, nothing scares the average American more than money. Why, when I was little, I could never go to sleep until my mother looked under the bed for lurking wheat pennies.
But the money is not the evil. The government is. You see, the only reason more and more money keeps flowing into politics is because government keeps taking more and more power unto itself. Money follows power. It’s not the other way around.
Except the Koch brothers and the Chamber of Commerce and all the other wealthy interests who have flooded this campaign season with hundreds of millions of dollars haven’t given all — or even any — of that money to the party in power. No doubt they simply misaddressed the envelope.
The more power government steals from individuals by taking away our liberties and freedoms with layers upon layers of regulations and laws, the more money will be directed to the politicians that can dole out favorable government action to those with enough money to buy that favor. Take away government power and control and the money in politics will miraculously melt away.
Similarly, in the final stage of Communism, the State will just wither away somehow. And one has to look no further than the Gilded Age for a historical parallel; government regulation was minimal, and rich people were as remote from the centers of political power and as disenfranchised as blacks in the Jim Crow South. This probably explains the haunting Negro spirituals that would so often waft from the Beaux-Arts facade of the New York Yacht Club.
Carter knows this to be a fact.
All he has to do is look at Somalia to see that a committed laissez-faire, or anarchist society is wholly untroubled by negative campaign ads. And we know the former President has been to Africa, so he’s obviously seen for himself how a powerless government empowers its citizens and unleashes their entrepreneurial spirit (I understand there are many Somalian start-ups involved in the shipping business). If Carter had an honest bone in his body, he’d admit that a touch of genocide and warlordism is a small price to pay for lifting the yoke of OSHA from our shoulders.
But he simply refuses to acknowledge the truth in public. After all, to formally recognize the truth would reveal an out of control government power grab and grabbing power is his most desired goal.
Aside from ensuring the integrity of elections in emerging democracies, and building homes for the poor, Carter spends most his time in a bloody quest for the One Ring.
Carter simply refuses to tell the truth about all this. Now I cannot say Jimmy Carter is a stupid man
…because there are too many syllables involved.
so that excuse to explain his behavior is untenable. I can’t say he’s misinformed or ignorant, either.
Because Warner never sees him at the meetings.
After all, he was there during the times he is discussing. He knows full well that he is misrepresenting the truth. So that leaves us with liar being the only explanation. The fact is Jimmy Carter is the worst ex-president since Teddy Roosevelt gallivanted across the American media landscape attacking Wilson and Taft. But at least Teddy didn’t give succor to America’s enemies like Carter does.
This seems like a rather non-sequitorial way to wrap up a column (Jimmy Carter is a big liar who reminds me of that Taft-bashing bastard, Theodore Roosevelt?), but as a student of Warner’s oeuvre, I recognize a common theme: he’s jealous of TR’s big stick, and the way our enemies want to succor it.