You kids are so jaded nowadays, with your Zombie Apocalypse on basic cable, and your Young Adult vampire books, and your gruesome games about vivisection, where you callously remove a man’s Wrenched Ankle without benefit of anesthetic. Obviously, it takes more to frighten you than a warty-nosed witch or a mummified corpse rising from an ancient sarcophagus, so I searched the web for hours, trying to find a picture appropriate for the holiday, and this was the single most terrifying image I could find.
And I’m deeply, deeply sorry. Have a Very Sinister Samhain, everybody.