With the repeal of DADT, I think we need to go to Robin of Berkeley for a little perspective on what it all may mean to a member of our armed forces: it means that a gay person might look at him or her!

Here’s Robin’s story of how she was raped hit on by a lesbian:

The debate about repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” now passed into law, has triggered a long-repressed memory of mine from the ’70s. It was when I was hit on by a woman. I was around 20 and taking a women-only martial arts class.

I was changing in the locker room when one of the women in the class, Judy, stared at me lasciviously. I automatically turned away and got the heck out of there.

That’s the entire incident. A woman looked at Robin in a locker room. Only in Berkeley!

Story Time | 18 Comments »

I don’t mean to one-up Scott, but here are TWELVE conservative “babes” for your special day, Doghouse.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sure, one of them is Ann Coulter, but another one is Michele Bachmann (or Michelle Bachman, as they refer to her for legal purposes). And another one is Michelle Malkin. And another one is Michelle Duggar! Yes, it’s all the conservative babe Michelles you’ll ever need, all in one convenient calendar.

Here’s the press release from Human Events Online:

Dressed in black and packing fashionably smart gazes at the camera’s lens,

Well, Michelle Malkin’s gaze looks kinda dazed and dopey to me, but whatever, I’ll accept your contention that these women are smart enough to look at a camera.

…12 high-profile ladies from the right—including one well-known power mother of 19—

That would be Clare herself, well known for her maternal attributes.

…have earned spots in the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute’s 6th annual “Great American Conservative Women” calendar, available for purchase this week.

Last year, the vaunted Herndon, Va., women’s institute, which promotes leadership and brings conservative speakers to college campuses, garnered wattage with then-newsmaker Carrie Prejean, the controversial Miss USA who rose to the spotlight amid much praise and intense criticism with her unabashed pageant defense of traditional marriage.

Wow, so last year’s calendar featured some of those “controversial” porn photos of Carrie?!? How very vaunted!

This year, another beloved but decidedly less showbiz figure, Michelle Duggar, American’s unapologetic turbo-mom, makes an appearance on the monthly pages. [...]

“We picked Michelle Duggar not because she is political at all but because she represents our ideals,” [Clare spokesmodel Alyssa] Cordova said. “She is devoted to taking care of her family, to doing her own thing, devoted to her faith. She represents a lot of things our people look up to.”

“Our people” apparently look up to women who give birth to lots and lots and lots of children they can’t give much attention to, but make up for that fact by letting TV audiences watch them on a regular basis.

But this is why you should objectify these women for their looks, such as they are:

“I think the Left always makes it seem that being pretty is mutually exclusive to being smart,” she [Cordova] said. “It’s appalling and a total double standard for conservative women.”

Damn that Left, always ruining things for pretty girls like Duggar by insisting that she is just a piece of meat, when clearly she must be smart to have figured out how to get pregnant every 6 months.

” If you go to the women’s center on campus, they are trying to stifle any traces of femininity. We like to highlight that these women have great looks and also intellects.”

And that’s why its so great that they feature Bachmann, who is a rocket scientist as well as being easily as pretty as Ruth Buzzi’s famous character “Gladys Ormphby.”

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Doghouse. You are one of my heroes. And everyday I am amazed that a man of your vast intellect consents to hangout with ne’er-do-wells and riffraff like us! So, have a great day and never desert us, or we will have to publish even more photos of Ann Counter!

Birthdays | 5 Comments »

Christmas is fast approaching, and as I’m not a Christian, I always like to solicit some expert advice on the True Meaning of the Day before I bake my cookies and trim my tree.  Usually I consult with Linus Van Pelt, but he’s in Branson performing his one man show, “Lights, Please” so this year I’m stuck with Matt C. Abbott.

You may remember Matt as the “Catholic columnist” for RenewAmerica whose columns largely consist of material written by other people — often emails from arch-conservative clerics who delight in feeding Matt table scraps of crazy, outraged but obscure laypersons, or citations from distinguished anti-semites.  He’s actually more of a conduit than a pundit, a sort of urethra for the golden wisdom that showers down upon us from the religious right.  But when on occasion Matt does write an original sentence, he makes the most of it, such as the opening to this week’s piece:

Sad to say, I’m afraid Congress has just infected our military with “spiritual AIDS,” if you will, by repealing DADT — much to the delight of the homosexualists in our midst.

Ordinarily I’d be tempted to respond to this sort of thing, but I dislike kicking a man when he’s down, and later in the column Matt confesses that he’s recently been diagnosed with a “moral hemorrhoid.”

But speaking of rectal decorations — or rectorations, as they now call them in the military — I’ve waded into the shit to take some recon photos of the War of Christmas.  And the first combat zone visited was the IMAX theater at Universal Studios.

However, judging by the landscape and architecture, it’s apparent that even after the War on Christmas turns hot, the holiday itself will survive in a futuristic, post-Apocalyptic environment from which the mutated remnants of humanity will emerge.

I also noticed that it’s helpful when the hectoring admonitions from Big Brother, and the warm, yet urgent suggestions that we pull up stakes and enjoy the good life in the Off-World Colonies is delivered by a floating, 15-foot high Tori Amos:

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go celebrate both the passage of DADT repeal and this happiest time of the year by spreading some Holiday Herpes.

For No Good Reason, Happy Holidays | 3 Comments »

Update: Okay, it turns out that today, December 21 is actually DH’s birthday.  My apologies for the screw-up, and hey, let’s keep the party going!

Today is the natal anniversary of the Hoosier Sage, who for my money is in a dead heat with Roy Edroso for Web’s Best Wordsmith (making them a kind of Alias Worthsmith and Jones).  Mr. Riley has been kind enough to favor World O’ Crap with his comments going back to the old Salon blog days, and has demonstrated, besides his obvious literary gifts, a flair for gastronomy, oenophilia, and history.  He also, as s.z. once remarked, seems to know a lot about heroin.

Before we go any further, I must discharge an unpleasant duty:

Ann Coulter prepares to launch herself across the table toward a fan whom she suspects of possessing the One Ring.

In addition to Mr. Riley, other literary luminaries who burst from the forehead of Zeus on this date include:

Hortense Calisher, novelist.

Dick Wolf, creator of some sort of self-replicating virus that infects cable television.

Jean Racine, who I didn’t bother to research, but I assume is from Wisconsin, and probably wrote the tragedy, Les Fromagers.

Andrei Codrescu, Romanian-born U.S. poet and professor whose literary journal, Exquisite Corpse, published the first excerpts from Better Living Through Bad Movies.  (It’s true.  You could look it up.)

Tom Gries, who fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (such as Mr. Riley) will remember as the screenwriter of the Season 2 classic King Dinosaur.

Now, before I go, I should probably administer the antidote:

Happy birthday, Doghouse!  Thanks for classing the joint up these many years; and here’s to many more.

Birthdays | 18 Comments »

Joseph Farah accepts Sandy Rios’s assertion that soldiers will just opt out of the military if “don’t ask, don’t tell” is shoved down America’s throat. And he raises her, by urging all patriotic, freedom-loving young men to desert, so that the gays have to fight our current two wars all by themselves.

Here, let’s let Joe explain it to you:

So what’s next if the U.S. military opens up its ranks to flaming homosexuals, transsexuals, transvestites, lesbians and other sexual deviants du jour?

Then maybe all of those young Republicans who were so gung ho to get us into war in Iraq will finally have no excuse not to enlist?

The real answer, per Joe and some guy from the Family Research Council Hate Group is that almost 25% of the troops and the reserves will take their balls (ahem) and go home.

But that’s not good enough! Joe says that everybody who is not a cross dressing lesbian flaming poofster deviant should just quit the military. That will teach everybody who believes is equal rights a thing or two!

As much as I respect and admire the U.S. military as an institution, I would find myself actively encouraging men and women to leave – in droves.

If the U.S. military is going to be transformed into just another tool of twisted social engineering, rather than a force designed to defend America’s national security interests, dedicated, brave and upstanding young men and women should no longer participate of their own free will. It’s just that simple. Let the politicians cobble together a military of social deviants if they think they can.

This message brought to you by World Net Daily, the Better Dead than Pink Society, and Al Queda.

It’s been a long time since America used its military wisely anyway.

The military should be used to destroy America’s enemies. Period. End of story. That’s not what the politicians did in Iraq. That’s not what we’re doing in Afghanistan. That’s not what we did in Vietnam. That’s not what we did in Korea. The results from those military campaigns of planned stalemate are in for all to see.

Yeah! The last time America used its military correctly is when we nuked Japan. And if we aren’t ready to totally annihilate the middle east, our troops might just as well stay home and blockade abortion clinics.

Besides, the whole “DADT” thing is all just a ploy to destroy marriage. So, instead of capitulating to it, we might as well invite the Chinese to invade us — because even though they are commies, they don’t tolerate gays. And tolerating gays is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.

This move by the politicians, by the way, is not even about what’s best for the U.S. military. That was clear from the hearings in Washington in which no one could articulate a single advantage to the sissification of the U.S. military. It’s about promoting a political agenda of softening up America’s morals and preparing for the next shoe to drop.

The next shoe, in case you don’t get it by now, is transforming marriage from an institution between a man and a woman to one of anything goes.

So, young patriots, if DADT is eliminated, you should desert, and then report state side to welcome our new commie/terrorist masters. It’s the only moral, patriotic thing to do.

I hope the best and brightest in the U.S. military recognize the stakes and make the decision to rejoin the civilian ranks at home where the ultimate fight for liberty, morality and self-government is about to take place.

It’s time for a civil war, and you best and brightest should be in your civvies, ready to fight on the side of decency, no-sissification, and self-government! And then, once the “no rights for gays” side secedes from the union, maybe they can get slavery back.

Teh GAYZ! | 21 Comments »

Sandy Rios used to be a Concerned Woman for America, but now she’s President of the Culture Campaign, leading one to conclude that she’s no longer Concerned for America, or no longer a Woman.  (It’s possible she got the idea from Lady Gaga, of whom Sandy observed, “We have to speculate on whether she has a male member or not, or whether it’s been cut off or not.”  We just have to!  Just as it would be irresponsible not to speculate that Sandy haunted medical waste bins for a solid year, collecting discarded foreskins before finally assembling a Frankenpenis in her rumpus room, and fusing it to her groin during an electrical storm.)

Phew!  I feel much more responsible now.

You’ll be unflabbergasted to know that Sandy doesn’t want Congress to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  She doesn’t even want them to vote on it, because of reasons.  Lots of reasons, reasons that change like the seasons (sorry, I’m still overwhelmed by all the clever poetry in the Robin of Berkeley thread).  Sandy has learned the one great lesson of the Iraqi War debacle: if your casus belli begins to smell, toss it out and replace it.  Improvise!  Think on your feet!  Freedom is messy!  (Although you’d think adding gays to the mix would help make for a more presentable Freedom, since they’re all so tidy.)

As it was with the Weapons of Mass Destruction ➔ Ridding Mesopotamia of People Shredders ➔ Democracy! Whiskey! Sexy! continuum, so it is with the Principled Objection to Gays in the Military, which has had more rewrites than Tootsie, and more sequels than the Toro-san series.

No Stand Alone Amendment on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

The Senate should reject any stand-alone amendment overturning the 1996 Congressional Law preventing homosexuals from serving in the military. Why?

Because service members, unduly influenced by close and open proximity to the Gaga-lovin’ gays, will shoot off their own, um, service members in solidarity, and we’ll be stuck with an Army of moody Jake Barneses.  At least, it would be pretty to think so.

• Because according to the much-touted Pentagon Survey, 67% of Marine Combat troops on the front lines…right now…have indicated it could interfere with unit effectiveness, readiness and cohesion.

What Sandy carefully — okay, clumsily — elides is the “71.9% of servicemembers thought that repeal would have mixed or no effect on unit readiness.”  But then, my Dad was a Marine, and they pride themselves on compensating for their meagre numbers by being bigger pains in the ass than all other Armed Services combined.

• Because the same survey reports that 24% of our all-volunteer force have indicated they would leave the military early if the law were repealed.

Because an army is only as strong as its weakest bigot.

That is one half million fighting men and women potentially lost during a time of war.

Sadly, we might have to start fewer wars; still, you go to war with the homos you have, not the quitters you wish you had, but who quit because of the homos.  On the other hand, gays are much more brutal and savage in war (as Bryan Fischer has pointed out), which means that a single one is worth a dozen ordinary dogfaces.  So when you think about it, we’re actually much better off sacking and pillaging the Near and Middle East with a legion of buff and muffiny gladiators, than with a bunch of asthma puffer-sucking mama’s boys who are squeamish about man-cooties.

Okay, so we’ll be hemorrhaging homophobes.  What’s the next nightmare scenario, Sandy?

• Because PFC Bradley Manning recently leaked the largest amount of classified information in history, putting fellow soldiers and his own country at risk because he was gay and angry with a former lover.

Boy troubles were not, in fact, among his stated reasons for leaking the “Collateral Murder” video.  Which, 300 aside, could never remotely be construed as gay porn, except by American Thinker Humberto Humberto Fontova, who thinks bloodlust and bedlust go together, especially when you’re sharing a bedroll.

As unpleasant as it is to ponder, that fact must be pondered before we open the floodgates to others whose sexual identity may define them more than the uniform they wear.

The gay soldier’s motto:  ”For God and .”

• Because a substantial number of the 3000 military chaplains who provide the spiritual strength to thousands of our men and women, giving them courage and determination to carry on, have serious objections.

Because who better to minister to our men and women than bigots?

Chaplains who have an objection have been instructed to remain silent while the repeal is being considered.

Well, if  ”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has been, and continues to be such a success, it seems only reasonable we extend the same opportunity to the chaplains.

Okay, so we can’t extend full civil rights to gay and lesbian service members because it will bother the God botherers.  What else?  Could it be that we can’t swallow another change when our throats are already crammed with health care?

• Because exactly one year ago another major societal shift was being crammed down our throats at Christmas.

I love this time of year — the crisp weather, the sparkling decorations, the familiar tunes, and of course, the traditional Christmas cookies, which unfortunately I can’t enjoy at the moment, because the President is deep-throating me.

We were told health care had to be passed quickly…before we could even read the bill. People objected loudly but the administration and Congressional leadership arrogantly ignored the American people and forced it through. We know, at least in part, the terrible results of that.

So, we can’t allow gays to serve openly in the military because…insurance reform!

Our military men and women don’t have the same ability to make their voices heard against allowing open homosexuality in their ranks.

We should maybe do a study and poll them.

They don’t have newspapers or talk radio shows. But the provision that will alter their lives and our safety is being rammed down their throats in an unseemly urgency that should seem all too familiar.

…to fans of Sandy’s slash porn.

That alone should make Senators and Congressmen vote “no” on a hurried stand-alone bill.

Yeah, it’s been seventeen years — where’s the fire?

• Because we have a Commander in Chief who knows nothing of commanding troops or serving in the U.S. Military.

Newsflash:  Woman with no experience commanding troops tells Commander in Chief with two years experience commanding troops how to command troops.  First step:  command them to build tents with closets.  Then bricks without straw.

His priorities are strange and discomforting.

Civil rights and throat-cramming.  It’s a difficult policy to support, unless you believe justice is more important than expediency, and your gag reflex is under control.

Okay, I think we have time for one last tap-dancing rationalization.  Sandy?  Is it time to point out that the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs doesn’t know anything about the military, because he’s an affirmative action hire?

The President’s appointee, Admiral Mike Mullen, said …”There is no gray area…we treat each other with respect or we find another place to work.Period.”

Senators and Congressmen should listen carefully to what other seasoned military leaders are saying rather than political appointees.

All the other Service Chiefs rose to their positions the traditional way, by assassinating their predecessor.  So by now it’s clear that the only way we will ever have an effective military is if we strip the President of the authority to cram admirals and generals down our throats, and have the men elect their own officers in the manner of the old Roman Republic.  It’ll make things a lot less gay.

Teh GAYZ! | 18 Comments »

Welcome to another round of “Name Robin’s Condition”! Here is your summary of Robin of Berkeley’s latest presentation:

The Enemy Within

We all go through it: the harsh wake-up call that things aren’t as they appear to be. [...] Just this week, I’ve been dealing with people undermining me whom I thought I could trust.

As a recovering liberal, I’ve had the shock of a lifetime learning that many of the threats to our country come from within. [...]

With the sabotage going on in my life, last night I couldn’t sleep a wink. I lay in bed disturbed, thinking of these people who want to harm me.

Yes, the correct answer is “paranoia.” Congratulations if you diagnosed this one correctly.

Anyway, over at Sadly, No!, D. Aristophanes has done some very good scholarship on the The Lost Prophesies Of Nostradamus. That inspired us to come up with one of the Lost Limericks of Wingnutland. Here you go:

There once was a therapist from Berkeley
Who claimed that progressives acted quite jerkily.
She would rant and she’d rave
To make them behave.
We hope the Thorazine makes her feel much more perkily.

If you want to write your own, we certainly can’t stop you.

Contests | 23 Comments »

It comes from the mind of American Thinker columnist Humberto Fontova: Sarah Palin’s Basic Instinct.

What Humberto shares with the world isn’t so much his dreams of seeing Sarah in that interrogation scene, as his comments on Aaron Sorkin’s disgust at Sarah’s televised blood lust. (It seems that during the latest ep of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” Sarah shot a caribou and then did a gleeful victory dance as she butchered the animal. Sorkin thought this was gross. Humberto thinks that it was way sexy.)

For Humberto is a hunter too (or so he says):

Sarah Palin ain’t the only one who dances on a hunt. [...]My pulse rate jumps, my senses quicken, and I’m jolted back into my primal role. The branch jerks again…again. Gotta be something big, I think. My pulse is really hammering now. Is that a flicking ear?…A black nose?…The sun glints off something…yes!– An antler!

Sadly, the glints were just coming from Sally Jensen’s braces – and after Humberto shot her, it ended up being the worst Madison Junior High dance in recent history.

Anyway, here’s the soft-core porn part of the column.

Dear Penthouse Forum:

So, I have this geeky friend (and he is NOT me). I take him hunting.

He wallops a high-flying mallard, and his eyes light up! Next week, he’s clamoring to go again. [...] The embers have ignited into a raging inferno by now.

Um, this actually isn’t a Brokeback Mountain story, as you can see by my masculine photo. But soon his wife hates me.

Invariably, his wife, once tolerably civil, starts to loathe me. She addresses me exclusively in snarls and curses. She hangs up on me, erases my texts and e-mails. She becomes my bitter foe.

Really, it’s not because she thinks I’ve stolen her husband away from her. Okay, it is, but not how you think!

This hunting stuff, however, is a passion, an obsession. “That’s all he talks about!” she wails. “I never see him anymore! He pays more attention to that stupid shotgun than to me! We can’t go out anymore ’cause he’s always gone on weekends…and that damn racket from that damn duckcall! Night and day!”

He is now sexually attracted to ducks instead of her. Well, ducks and deer. But what are you going to do?

The ducks and deer now compete seriously for her time. She resents it. But this always fades.

Because she starts going on her own “hunting trips” with the pizza delivery boy.

No, strike that. Penthouse, you won’t believe it, but what actually happens is that about Christmas time the wife starts getting aroused by the smell of deer blood and unwashed maleness.

Always happens this way. Her hubby’s new passion brings her benefits in the boudoir, you see. Conquest afield is usually followed by conquest at home. He returns from the chase — dirty, bedraggled, but always with a carnal gleam in his eye. It was so for our Paleolithic ancestors. It remains the case today. Ask around.

Seriously, Penthouse Forum, I would appreciate it if you would start asking around, and find out if women really get turned on by dirty, bedraggled, horny, stupid guys? If so, would you please get me some names and phone numbers?

Oh, and I once saw Sarah Palin getting frisky with her husband. Or maybe it was a bigfoot. But it REALLY HAPPENED!

“That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids,” writes Sarah Palin in Going Rogue, “I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house. Seeing Todd’s blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. ‘Dang,’ I thought. ‘Divorce Todd? Have you seen Todd?”

Apparently that gleam is not confined to the male hunters’ eyes.

So, I was wondering if you could get me in touch with some programming guys from The Learning Channel or the Playboy Channel. I have some ideas of how “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” could be made more watchable.

Your friend and faithful reader,

Humberto

I Cover the Wingnut World | 25 Comments »

Before we begin today’s offense against good taste and the dominant culture, here’s a brief word from our sponsor (hey, even A Charlie Brown Christmas paused occasionally to sell you Zingers).

Are you wondering what to get that obnoxious right wing uncle of yours?  Well, now Amazon lets you give the Kindle version of Better Living Through Bad Movies as a gift, and what better way to get revenge for all that racist Snopes-fodder he’s been emailing to you since 2008, than by sending him the one book that devotes an entire chapter to mocking Red Dawn?

How does it work?  Why, it’s so simple even a child could do it, so be prepared for your uncle to strike back by gifting you Going Rogue, or Glenn Beck’s The Christmas Sweater.  Just go to , and click on “Kindle Edition.”  On the right side of the screen you’ll see a button, “Give As Gift.”  Anyone with an email address can receive a digital copy, and the book can be read on any device that supports the free Kindle reading app, including iPhone, iPad, PC, Mac, Android device, and BlackBerry.

Now that I’ve thoroughly debased and commercialized the season, it’s only appropriate that I take a few incoming rounds from an elite War on Christmas Warrior, “former Army officer and a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan,” and a man who takes planning birthday parties for dead people really seriously, John Bennett:

Score One for Judeo-Christian Culture

Multiculturalism creates a neurotic and dishonest society.

Which is why the United States, whose citizens emerge soft, phobic, and dissembling from the Melting Pot, got its ass kicked by the monocultural Germans and Japanese in World War II.

This is seen very plainly during the Christmas season. Those of us who celebrate Christmas are told that we must rip the very core of this season out, and replace it with a phony, soulless thing called “Holiday” or “Winter.”

That’s pretty much the message I got from the Perry Como version of “Winter Wonderland.”

This is dishonest because nobody celebrates winter.

Frosty the Snowman begs to differ.

“Holiday” is a shallow term to describe Christmas; the term abuses language to impose a false meaning on a reality that most of us cherish.

People seem to forget — or to no longer care — that the whole purpose of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our lord and savior, Santa Claus.

“Holiday” and “Winter” are weasel words used by cultural appeasers who are too ashamed of their own culture to say what everybody knows to be true.

For the most part I’m just bored by my own culture, but highly entertained by people who are professionally ashamed of it (except those parts which can be used as a blunt instrument on the rest of us).

Maintaining Christmas is part of preserving the culture that gave us almost everything that we have worth keeping.

Like credit card debt, water packed ham, and flocking.

The whole name-changing charade is neurotic because it forces people to pretend that our majority culture is not what it actually is.

The orifice from which Snooki emerged.

Now, the madness of the Christmas season is upon us- not the madness of shopping centers, but the madness of toxic tolerance.

The cure for which is, of course, an Intolerance Ipecac.

Yes, it was largely immigrants of Christian denominations who built this country, and if one does not like that fact then they are free to find another place whose history doesn’t offend them.

Ethnic cleansing?  You’re soaking in it!  And for the record, John, it’s not history that offends me — it’s “history.”

Some people call it the “war on Christmas” but this phenomenon is best described as part of something larger that harms us year round:

Fox News?

toxic tolerance.

Oh.

Toxic tolerance has been described as “the imperative never to offend anyone, no matter how evil, duplicitous, or exploitative they might be.”

So people who might prefer to hear “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas” are “evil, duplicitous, [and] exploitative”?  I don’t know, John, that seems like kind of a harsh way to talk about the Jews. But then, the description you quote comes from the famously not-fond-of-Semitic-people blog Gates of Vienna, although your link brings up this page…

…so maybe they had a change of heart and took down the post, and then died from tolerance toxemia.

Make no mistake about it, those who rip Christmas out of public life are duplicitous and exploitative, no matter what they claim their victim status to be, and no matter how noble their motives.

John’s motives, however, are fell and deceitful, so we can trust his methods.

It is duplicitous to attack the majority culture under the pretense of tolerance, when the outcome of the ostensible tolerance is to be intolerant of the majority culture.

Yes, I hope you enjoyed John’s rendition of that beloved old classic, “You O So Tolerant Liberals Are Intolerant of My Intolerance!”

Everybody now…!  ♬ It’s beginning to look a lot like War on Christmas… ♫

It is exploitative to use privileged victim status to enforce personal preferences at the expense of a profoundly important cultural and, yes, religious observance.

But enforcing personal religious preferences on secular society is reasonable and wholesome, because certain people need to be reminded every once in a while that being a victim is a privilege, not a right.

There are few things more self-centered than using privileged victim status to erase part of the culture one finds themselves in. If Westerners went to non-western nations and tried this ungrateful, petty behavior, they would be rightly condemned or worse, depending on the locale.

Thank God we’ve never tried to impose our values on the non-western world.

We invite hypocrisy as well- not just garden variety hypocrisy, but the type of fundamental hypocrisy that makes a sham of our self-respect and attacks our national identity.

Oh boo hoo — it’s Christmas! I have to invite my sister-in-law and my wife’s cousin every year; and at least fundamental hypocrisy usually brings a bottle of Mateus Rosé and a Holiday Smoked Meat Log from Hickory Farms.

In particular, we can’t have any mention of Christ at Christmastime in public, government places, but your tax money will be used to degrade and insult Christ.

It’s true, I have never heard a politician invoke Christ or Christmas, nor have I ever seen religious art in a publicly-funded museum, but I did use the Gents on the Senate side of the Capitol once, and the urinal cakes were molded in the shape of mini-Pietàs.

At root, this toxic tolerance and holiday madness is produced by blending multicultural appeasement with a thoughtless liberal notion of equality- not equality brought about by merit or based on majority norms, but equality brought about by government coercion, leveling, and betraying the majority culture.

Thoughtless liberal notion of equality, enforced by government coercion on the majority culture, 1957.

If a fraction of the public doesn’t celebrate Christmas, we’ll offend the majority by eliminating references to their cultural observance…

Likewise, if certain groups can’t perform academically at a high standard, we’ll destroy the high standard. Thus a high school in affluent Evanston, Illinois is considering eliminating an honors course because the class had too many whites and not enough minorities.

The result of “a century-old and controversial tradition of tracking, or sorting, students into different levels of classes.”  The “elite honors English course…has traditionally been offered to the highest-achieving incoming freshmen — usually white.”

So instead of allowed all students, once they are in the same school, to compete for positions in elite courses, Evanston has been stovepiping middle schoolers from various high income areas directly into honor classes before they actually arrive at the school, resulting in de facto segregation.  Now Evanston is considering a program where “freshmen of all races and socioeconomic and achievement backgrounds would learn together in the same freshman humanities class, an English course that blends literature, history, art, music and philosophy and is required for graduation. The class would be taught at the honors level, according to district officials, and all students would have the opportunity to earn honors credit depending on their grades on assignments.”

Sure, it might right a historical wrong — except according to our guest today, history is never wrong — help to stem an invidious and self-replicating selection bias, and stop rewarding kids for simply being born middle class, but still! Nobody with a cultivated palate wants pepper in their salt cellar, Evanston!

And if certain groups are more likely to commit terrorism, we’ll avoid offending those groups, pretend that everyone is an equal risk, and obscenely offend all groups.

I was a little confused at first about what this had to do with Christmas, but then I realized that if Jesus were born today, the TSA would fondle the Three Kings’ junk through their tunics, and limit them to 3 oz. of carry-on myrrh.

Every place where multiculturalists make the rules, the people who work hard are having their interests undermined, and the majority culture has to let itself be muzzled. Make things worse for successful people in order to compensate for those who aren’t. That will make everyone strive to do better. Erode the majority culture to make minorities feel more welcome. That will increase social harmony.

Geez, for “a former Army officer and a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan,” he sure whines a lot.

We in America, and in the West as a whole, need to stop apologizing for our culture. We –or more accurately those who came before us- have created something great, and that is why people leave their non-Christian nations to come here and to other Western nations. How dare anyone say they have a right to the benefits of our society while at the same time attacking the root of our culture?

Well, if someone comes here and works hard, provides for their family, contributes to society, then I suppose they’re entitled to exist, as long as they don’t forget to wish me a Merry Fucking Christmas!

The norm needs to be reinforced:

This guy sounds like my old high school vice principal.

At Christmas time, we are celebrating the birth of the historical figure who gave rise to our culture, Jesus Christ.

Remember earlier when I said history didn’t offend me?  I think it’s more your definition I’m having a problem with…

We who celebrate Christmas should be vocal in saying that we are offended when Christmas is ripped out of public life.

“Should be”?  Dude, it’s become a holiday tradition, like tamales, and the Yule Log.

Those who do not celebrate can bloody well not celebrate. It is selfish and insulting to demand that the majority alter something sacred, simply for the convenience or comfort of an unreasonable minority.

If the unreasonable minority went into your church during midnight mass and demanded everybody stop with the Jesus already!, you’d have a point; they’d be harshing your sacred buzz.  But of course, nobody does that, and this whole thing comes down to mass market retailers trying to rake in a little of that sweet, sweet heathen cash by being inclusive.  You may think a perfunctory “happy holidays” is a selfish insult to Jesus, the Archangel Gabriel, the talking snake, and other historical figures, while I reserve the right to believe my purchase of two quarts of motor oil and a dozen tubesocks at Target does not legally constitute a sacred transaction.

Happy Holidays | 25 Comments »

Riley:

“I’ve got to stop looking into the abyss.  It’s a dirty habit…”

and Moondoggie:

“An easterly wind blew over the Cobb in Lyme Regis. At the end of the quay, the lone figure of a woman stood, wrapped in a cloak, her eyes fixed on the turbid waters. They called her…Tragedy.”

“What? I wasn’t pretending to be the French Lieutenant’s Woman!”

Wild Things | 6 Comments »