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Archive for December 3rd, 2010

Surviving the Holidays, Survivalist Style

Posted by s.z. on December 3rd, 2010

For many people, holidays mean spending time with family members. Usually this is time spent playing games, making cookies, caroling, decorating, airing long-simmering grievances, engaging in drunken brawls, and possibly covering up homicides.

But Human Events Online has a series designed to help you use your holiday family time more productively: to prepare for the apocalypse. We join the program already in progress.

Preparing for the End of the World: Making Your Family Tough
by Skip Coryell

In the opening article of this series I painted the following picture:

Close your eyes and imagine a world without electricity: no Fox News,

Okay, so it’s got its good points.

no facebook, no email, no Blackberry, no cold drinks, no heat in the winter, no automobiles, no food and no way to cook it even if you had it.

Yes, without electricity, combustion engines don’t work, seeds refuse to grow and fire declines to work. So, take a minute to thank Reddi Kilowatt for all he does for you!

It’s the end of the world as we know it (TEOTWAWKI) and you and your family are going to die.

But on the plus side, you can skip the usual Christmas shopping this year, and you don’t have to worry about how Wikileaks has doomed America by revealing that our diplomats talk about other countries behind their backs.

Through all my research on preparing for societal collapse, I found a dearth of information on preparing the family’s mind and relationship for hard times. So that’s what I want to focus on today, because if your family doesn’t have the will to live, it won’t matter how much “stuff” you have stored in your basement. You’re going to die.

Let me be blunt: without the will to live, you and your family will be killed for the stuff in your basement by people who just want it more. You know, people like Skip.

Think of it in terms of self defense. You can be carrying the largest handgun in the world, but if you don’t have the balls to use it, then you’re going to die.

Yes, if you are starving to death because the lack of electricity has ended photosynthesis, if you don’t have the balls to shoot your neighbor with your large handgun so you can eat him, you’re going to die. It’s that simple.

In the Marine Corps I learned about teamwork, loyalty, and honor. I learned that if one team member is weak, the whole team suffers. Now, as a husband and father, I’ve learned that my family is a team; it has weak links, and it’s only as strong as its weakest team member. Those of you with family know this to be true.

This holiday season, determine who that weakest team member may be. It could be Grandma, since her reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and so she will be of little use as a sniper when it’s time to pick off Chinese invaders. Or it might be your spouse, whose ogling of that comely neighbor demonstrates that he or she posseses a frightening lack of family loyalty. But it’s probably your teenage son or daughter, since teens are notoriously annoying.

Surviving a societal collapse as a lone wolf will be nearly impossible. You’ll need people around you who are trustworthy and loyal and prepared. That’s where the family comes in. Think of yourselves as a military unit. Depending on your size, you could be a fire team or an entire squad. If you live near extended family, you could be talking about an entire platoon!

Start planning a secret second family or marry a few sister wives, and you might be in charge of an entire regiment!

The family, even in the best of times, can be an asset or a liability. I have two teenagers at home, and, as much as I love them, they can be a real pain in the butt!

I told you that Greg and Marsha were probably the weak links in your family!

I try to prepare them for hard times, but sometimes I just don’t know if they’re getting it. At times they seem spoiled, lacking in perspective and common sense. As a matter of routine, I give them an hour of chores per day. They complain, whine and moan as if they’re being marched off to the gallows.

So, I marched them off to the gallows. It was for the good of the platoon.

In today’s world, their undisciplined, disrespectful behavior is a nuisance that causes me stress. After societal collapse, their immaturity could well mean the death of a loved one. No, I’m not being overly dramatic. Today I ask them to wash the dishes, but after society collapses, I’ll hand them a gun and send them up on the roof as a sentry from midnight to 2AM. If they shirk their duty, the whole family could be slaughtered in its sleep.

Just something to think about when Wally does a crappy job doing the dishes.

Why am saying this? Because there are things you can be doing right now to prepare the minds of your spouse and kids.

The Chinese, evil though they may be, have excellent brain washing technology. While expensive, think of it as an investment in your future.

Anyway, Skip has a lot more to say on the subject, but let me leave you with one last tip:

In many cases, just getting on the same page in regards to preparing for societal collapse can improve your relationship. It takes a long time and a lot of hard work to make all the preparations necessary, but, after a while, you might even start having fun. Case in point, my wife and I once went on a date to a militia meeting. We had a good time and met a lot of nice people.

That’s right, fellows: a militia meeting makes a swell date! Any wife, sweetheart, or cute girl whom you want to impress will be thrilled to that you cared enough to take her to an Aryan Brotherhood meeting rather than the same old dinner and a movie. And it will help you to survive the end of the world, so it’s probably tax-deductible.

Well, that’s all the time we have for today, but keep preparing for the apocalypse, and be sure to wish everyone a Merry End of the World.